First of all, sorry for the delay. I will explain briefly what happened: on 16th December at 8 am my plane for Panama left. I could finally finish and revise this chapter on 14th December and was planning to upload on 15th December, but my electric-power company decided to shut the lights out for that day. Yeah, I absolutely love them. Add to that horrible mess, that I had to prepare my backpack and rucksack for a 2-months- journey around Central America with almost no light at all. Soooo it was impossible for me to publish this chapter, and then the journey started! And it was impossible to find the moment and the right amount of wi-fi time to publish it. Finally, I'm in Costa Rica now, at a friend's house, and have free wi-fi. So, here it is! But there's a warning:
I AM NOT UPDATING UNTIL AT LEAST 15TH FEBRUARY!
The reason? I'm travelling around different states, villages and countries, never staying more than a few days, and my journey ends in Mexico. I'm the whole day visiting places and at night going out with friends, and don't really have time to write! If I wrote something, it would be shit! So, take this as a middle-season finale, NOT a real final, because I am going to continue the story- just when I come back from my holidays!
Thanks sooo much for reading and understanding!
Vanesa
Tobias
On Wednesday morning I wake up not having a clue of how I'm going to tell Tris who I want her to meet.
The day is sunny and clear, sunlight peaking through the windows, as if telling me that I cannot avoid any of this. Tris is cuddling next to me, still asleep. Gently, I take her arm off of my chest, leaving it on the mattress and going to the bathroom. I pick up a razor I see on the shelf, one unused, put shaving cream on my face and start shaving myself. A few minutes later, Tris's face appears in the mirror and I remember the last time she saw me doing this ordinary task and how that ended. She quickly takes the razor from my hand and turns me, without saying a word, and starts doing the task herself. Last night she went to sleep only wearing one of my shirts, which hangs loosely at her thighs. After she's shaved and washed my face, she puts her hands around my neck, kissing my slightly.
"Good Morning," I greet her. She smiles.
"Good morning Tobias." I close my eyes when she says my name. It's now that I will get used to hearing it with love and not with hate or as a treat,"You asked me if I was free on today's morning, why is that? Where do you want to take me?" I look at her.
"You'll soon discover," I answer,"lets grab something for breakfast, get ready, and depart, okay?"
"It's not as if I'm complaining about the distraction,"she says, hugging me a bit tighter. These past days have been awful for her and her parents, with everything that's been going on. Dauntless has been tearing each other apart, trying to choose leaders and not knowing what they should really do. Her parents have been in the infirmary all day, and soon enough when Caleb is okay again, they'll have to go, abandon their children and go back to their faction. In fact, they should already be there… with Abnegation, with the factionless.
There has been rumors these last few days that it is there where all the surviving Abnegation is, with the factionless: Susan Black, Tris's neighbor, left for there two days ago, guarded by Andrew as her closest faction leader and, surprisingly, Lynn. I think she just wanted an excuse to go out and see what has happened to Candor Headquarters.
And, if all the drama wasn't enough, there's still the issue about Caleb being the biggest jackass and traitor of all. He's been telling everything he knows about Erudite, all the hidden passages and corridors, all the secret rooms where they had kept everything from the rest of Erudite. He's also been telling names, names of the people that helped him create the serum and, from what Tris has told me, at each name her father nodded, knowing them: they are all Jeannine's lackeys, people that have been following her since she was a child and used to do experiments: Erudites through and through, in the worst way possible.
After we get dress (me not being able to take my eyes away from Tris), we head towards the cafeteria. It's not even seven o'clock yet, so the place is almost empty with the exception of a Candor man drinking coffee half sleep, two Candor women who are even loud at this time of the morning, but don't even glance at us, and three Dauntless boys gather at a table, older than us and who I don't even recognize.
We sit there and I go and grab food for us: a cinnamon roll and coffee for Tris, a dark coffee and muffin for me. We eat in silence, she thinking whatever is in her mind, me considering the best ways to bring up the subject. After some time we've both finished.
"Do you need to grab anything before we go?" I ask
"Do I need to? At what time are we coming back?"
"We'll be here by the afternoon. I think they won't look for us."
"My parents certainly will,"she says,"But I don't care. No, I don't need to take anything. Lets go." We head towards the exit, where there are two Dauntless guards.
"Names,"they say.
"Hey, we're Dauntless, why do we have to give you names?" Tris asks, annoyed. I put my arm around her waist, trying to calm her down.
"Just for precaution, girl. We need to know who comes and goes, so if you are missing for more than two days we have to go and find you." Tris frowns but doesn't complain,"My name's Tris Prior, not girl,"she hisses.
"You see, that wasn't so difficult, wasn't it?" the boy says,"and yours?"
"Four," I answer. They look at me, and then one of them smirks. Oh no, not again.
"This one is Tobias Eaton,"he says,"the guy with four fears."
After that, they let us go. I still stand stiff, and just when I notice that Tris is practically running to join me I realize that I'm walking too fast.
"Hey, calm down Tobias,"she says,"they're assholes." I try and calm down. This is not the moment to be mad. I stop and breathe deeply.
"Yes, I know," I say and then look at her. Tris has her hand on my shoulder, and I hug her, joining our fronts. She always calms me down, well, when she doesn't arouse me, and then calmness goes to hell.
"Are you going to tell me where we are going?" she asks.
"We are going to meet the Factionless Leader,"I answer. Tris lifts up her head, and looks at my eyes.
"Your mother,"she whispers. I close my eyes and nod. No, not my mother, the woman that brought me to this world and then abandoned me.
"it's okay, Tris,"I say,"she's been contacting me, but I don't really care. I'm going to be there to listen to what she has to offer us, our faction. That's why I need you there," I say, and then grab her hand. We head towards the trains, both in silence until I notice her arms around my shoulders.
"Of course I'll be there, I'll always be there Tobias." I look at her, trying to drown into her ferocious eyes, and then kiss her. Our kiss breaks when I hear the train approaching us.
"Come on," I tell her, and we both look at it. The train appears in our view and we both start running along side it. Only Dauntless uses the trains, so they all depart from the Dauntless Headquarters and end at different points: The north train heads towards the center of town, where The Hub, schools, and the Erudite's Hospital is. Also, from it you can get out to go to Candor and Erudite's headquarters: both of them need to be in the center, near schools, hospitals, and paths for the jobs they do.
The south train goes all they way from Dauntless to the fence: it's the main entrance to Amity, the one we took when we fled. Those trains can also continue to the center- if the drivers are told to do so.
The west train goes to the other Amity door, but this one passes through the Abnegation sector at the time, and the East train is the one that almost no-one uses. It also ends in the fence, but it passes through a part where there used to be big houses and parks before the War. That part of the city had never been reestablished or rebuilt, and the train ended at the Pier with the Ferris Wheel and everything. That train is almost never used, just for the few fence guards that surround that area and when Capture the Flag is played. That's the train we take, and it's not in the one which I have to meet Evelyn. It's still too early for that.
We both get on the train and sit facing the door, letting the wind hits us.
"So, where are we going to meet her?" Tris asks me.
"Not yet,"I tell her," first, I want to take you somewhere." She looks at me, curiosity written on her face, but then nods. As the field starts to disappear and houses appear, I can tell it's time to get out. We both jump and Tris looks at her surroundings.
"I've never been here before,"she says.
"You have. This train ends at the Pier. It was just too dark for you to see them." She looks at the big, strange, and ruined houses with long and thick grass surrounding them. There are only two factions whose citizens live in houses: Abnegation and Amity, and in both of them the houses aren't nearly as big as these ones,"Follow me,"I tell her as we start walking into one of the smaller streets. One or two houses are completely destroyed, their roofs down and walls absolutely cracked. That is, until we get to the one I was looking for.
The house is much smaller than the other ones, just one floor and not many rooms, but with a big garden and a bit far from the train. Its original white color is really deteriorated, but still there are no signs of cracks or humidity in the walls, and the roof is intact.
"Tobias, what is this?" Tris asks me, and for a moment I realize why I came here. I guide her into the house.
"I never wanted to be Factionless at first. No one would want that, it's what we are taught all our lives to hate and avoid." I can feel her eyes on me as we slowly walk towards the house as I tell her another layer of me,"For the first year or so, I thought I'd adapt to Dauntless, to being what they wanted, and mostly to not feel like I betrayed them, lied to them when I joined. The second year I even convinced myself of that- until that year they put the changes in Initiation, the scores. I tried to go against it so hard and couldn't stand the brutality of the new leadership. I don't think I even looked for this. It just sort of happened. I had to go the Pier to talk to the guards, and decided to hop off before, look through these houses that weren't still restored. Being here, in the outskirts, made me feel good, and I started coming one or two times per week, walk here in this Ghost part of town. That was when I saw this little house between all the bigger ones," I say, pointing at it.
"You liked the humbleness of it," Tris whispered. I nod.
"Yes, the humbleness and quietness," I answered her,"this and my spot by the Chasm became my peaceful place, and that was when my third year at Dauntless began, another round of Initiates and something even more shocking- a talk with Evelyn." Tris lifts up her gaze to look at me when I say my mother's name. "She told me some part of what was going on at Erudite; I think she just didn't know all of it. She was trying to make me change sides and join her in the Factionless. I told her I wouldn't join her, but the idea stood in my mind- not of joining her, but that there could be an uprising. So I started bringing things into this house that no one knew about. Weapons, mostly, to be prepared, and some food." Tris opens the door, which cracks, and steps in. The house has a small living room at the right, with a fireplace in front, and a broken TV, one that doesn't work any longer, in front of the large couch. Over the fireplace there are some photos, ones I pulled down. The photos showed a bunch of kids, a woman, and a were also photos of the woman in a white dress and the man on a suit- a wedding photo, obviously. I didn't like the idea of looking at the photos every time I entered, but also didn't feel like taking and hiding them, so I just put them down and left them there. "I finally decided that I couldn't take it any more, not the leadership or the fact that I hadn't gone to Dauntless for the real, honorable cause. I had left there because I am a coward."
"You aren't a coward,"she says, immediately, and looks at me. Tris comes to my side and takes my face with her hands,"Tobias, you are not a coward. You transferred because you knew that Abnegation was going to be your undoing, how could you look at those people's faces when they had defended the monster Marcus is? I'm pretty sure my parent's didn't know about it, considering their reaction, because otherwise I wouldn't have been able to look at them." Her words sank deep into me. I knew she doesn't want to think like that, but for me it's much more difficult."So, what did you do after that?"she asks. I clear my throat.
"I started bringing more things: food and water; maps and useful tools; shampoo and everything I could," I say,"I even brought a mattress!" She laughs slightly.
"How the hell did you take a mattress from Dauntless?" she asks and I shake my head.
"You really don't want to know," I tell her. Tris's eyes look for mine.
"But, why come here? Why not go to the center, where your mother is and could help you?" she asks.
"I didn't want to go to her. That was not the reason why I wanted to leave, and I didn't want to live on pity from others. I had chosen this part of the city because it was far away, and had big fields and gardens- thought I could grow some of the food by myself, even planted some things in the back." Tris immediately looks at the end of the house, where there's a back door.
"You wanted to live here," she states. I nod.
"You asked me few days ago how much I wanted to come here, to be factionless. Well, it was this much. It was just that I didn't really see it as being factionless: I saw it as being free, as not having to pretend all the time," I say. Her eyes don't leave mine, and although she doesn't speak, I know what she's thinking about: that I shouldn't have stayed, not for her as I said. But Tris was the only reason for me to stay: she could never be factionless, Dauntless was her place, she needed to be there.
"What are we doing here?"
"Well, I wasn't going to appear near a bunch of Factionless unarmed again," I say. At the left there is a living room, at the right there's a small kitchen and dining table. At the end of the hallway there were four doors: the one that lead to the garden, one to the main room, one to the bathroom, and the last one to a smaller room with two beds, the children's room I supposed, although that one was almost ruined. When I got here the first thing I repaired was the living room, cleaning, painting, and fixing it. Then, the kitchen and lastly I had just started working on the main room and bathroom when Tris arrived and I stopped coming. Suddenly staying at Dauntless was far more interesting for me than coming here.
I walk into the main room, where there's only a large bed and hundreds of guns, knives, and other weapons. I immediately go to them and see how Tris's eyes travel to the large bed in the middle, suddenly feeling awkward and uncomfortable. I don't want to give her the wrong idea of why I brought her here. Anyway, her eyes then move to the large amount of weapons in one corner, looking through all of them.
"What the hell?" she says, coming to my side.
"I thought that if I was going to leave Dauntless, better be prepared. So, over the years, I brought guns: small ones, big ones. And knives, and-"
"Yes, I can see," she says, her eyes stopping at one gun that I recognize too well- it's the kind that we use at Dauntless Initiation, one absolutely similar to the one that killed Will.
"Hey," I say, lifting her face,"Why don't you choose one or two knives, mm? I don't really think something could happen, but better be prepared." I choose a small gun, one that I can hide behind my back and then take her hand.
"Ready?" I tell her, after she has chosen two knives and hid them in her back and front pockets.
"To meet your mother? Never," she replies and I chuckle at her words.
"Look, we are not looking for her… approval or anything like that," I say, "We are just going there to listen to what she has to offer us and our faction, okay?" She nods, and we head towards the front door, getting out of the house and onto the fields. I look at my black watch. It's 10:30, half an hour to my meeting with her. I know this is the train she will be waiting in. We walk in silence until we reach the train docks, sitting on the soft lawn waiting for it. A few minutes later it appears and we get up and start running along side it, until I reach the door and hop on the train. I give my hand out to help Tris, but she just grabs the handle and hops in by herself. I smile: typical Tris. She looks at me.
"So now wha-?" Her voice is interrupted by another one. A smooth female one that I know so well.
"Tobias?" my mother asks. We both turn to find the brown-hair woman behind us, wearing a black Dauntless t-shirt, blue Erudite trousers with gray Abnegation trainers. Her eyes look at me, and then quickly settle on Tris, narrowing them, "You brought someone," she says, walking to us. I grab Tris' hand pulling her forward.
"Hello Evelyn," I greet her. I can see how she flinches when I call her by her name, and not by the title that is supposed to be hers by bringing me into this world, "She's Tris Prior, my girlfriend," I say. Evelyn looks at her.
"Evelyn Johnson," she says, extending her hand. Tris looks at me briefly and then shakes it,"I've never heard of a Tris Prior, but I have heard of a Beatrice Prior," she says. Tris narrow her brows, looking at my mother. Oh, great, the last thing I need now.
"Well, I've never heard of an Evelyn Johnson, but I have heard of Evelyn Eaton." My mother hisses.
"I do not go by that name anymore, thank you," she says. Yes, because you abandoned me with the man that wears that particular last name.
"Well, same here," Tris answers. I can't help but smile briefly. And she was nervous about meeting her. Tris could face even the devil and have a witty answer.
"Tobias, can I speak to you alone, for a second?" she says, teeth greeted. I shake my head.
"If you want to talk, talk in front of Tris. She can hear anything she wants to." Evelyn looks at her and then back at me, sighing.
"Well, I just wanted to let you know that my proposal is still on. As you could see what is happening-" I stop her.
"Yes, I saw what happened, I was part of it, you know?" I tell her, angry, "I woke up one night with all my friends brain washed and acting as zombie killers with my old faction just to be slaughterers. Do you have any idea how that felt?" My voice is calm but hard, and a part of me knows nothing of this was her fault…but she knew, she could have helped. Evelyn sighs, looking at me.
"Of course I do… I was really worried about what could happen to you, I even went and saw your father to warn him-"Tris stops her.
"You went to see Marcus?" she asks astonished. Evelyn looks at her angrily.
"If you two could stop interrupting me, yes, I could tell it. I went to see him, but he didn't believe me, or didn't want to believe me at least." So she tried to do something, just as I tried… or is she just trying to make me believe it? I shake my head.
"Okay, so what do you want?" Evelyn looks at Tris warily.
"I'm not going to talk in front of her…"
"Then don't talk at all!" I tell her, "We can get out of this car and that's it!"
"No, okay," Evelyn says, and breaths deeply, "As you know, we've been waiting. For the right moment. Well, the moment's now. The factions are falling down, they won't last for long, and if we interfere now, we can bring them down-"
"You want to destroy the FACTIONS?" Tris asks, almost yelling, and I flinch. I knew this would happen, but a part of me wasn't expecting this. I had no other way of telling her that the factions falling down was also my desire. Evelyn looks at her.
"What did you expect, mm? That we stayed behind and starve? At the beginning it might have been like that, but then Abnegation started providing the Factionless food and provisions and they could start not just thinking about food and surviving, buy also taking back what used to be theirs," she says while Tris shakes her head, horrified
"The factions are what makes our system works, if it falls down we would all be dead!"
"You are such a stupid silly girl! Destroying the factions is the only way out of this!" Now it's me the one angry at her…
"Shut up, Evelyn" I say,"Don't treat her like that." She looks at me astonished.
"Oh God Tobias, you could do it much better than her…." she says. Just as I'm about to answer her, Tris speaks
"Oh yeah, like a mother which left him?" Tris confronts her, annoyed.
"Okay, okay stop, the two of you," I say,"Evelyn, my mind about this hasn't changed. Not even with what's happening. I still have a faction, I'm still Dauntless," I say, then turn to Tris,"And you, Tris, please behave. I didn't bring you here for this," I say. She looks at me, and if looks could kill, I'd be dead by now, but she doesn't say anything.
"Dauntless?" Evelyn asks, "Do you think you are still like them, Tobias, crazy and stupid?" she says. I avoid her eyes; avoid looking at her at all, because I don't want her to see the truth in me. There's only one reason for me to remain in Dauntless: Tris, and also my friends. Shauna, Lauren, even Zeke if he takes consciousness of where he should be,"You don't belong there Tobias, I know it, I know you." I raise my head, looking coldly at her
"No, you don't," I answer her, "You don't know me at all, you haven't known me for eleven years, so don't try this now," I tell her.
"Why do you want him in particular to join you?" Tris asks warily. I know she's seen something behind Evelyn's façade, and that's one of the reason I've brought her here: she's extremely good at seeing someone's true colors. Evelyn looks at her annoyed and angry,
"And who do you think you are to quest-" I don't let her finish.
"Answer her question," I say, "To me." She looks at me and then lowers her head.
"You are my son, that's why. I want you to be on the winning side, and I know we will be it." After she's finished, I look at Tris, questioningly. I'm asking her whether she believes it or not, I trust her, and she can see it. Evelyn's eyes travel between both of us.
"There's something more. That's not all the truth," Tris says. I look at Evelyn, brows frowning.
"Oh god, what has she done to you?" Evelyn hisses. I just look at her even harder, and she finally gives up with a long sigh,"I want you to join me because you are smart, quick, a good fighter and my son," she says, "But also because you could make them see their mind. You could make Dauntless come to us, help us. The majority of the Factionless are ex-dauntless members, so they know how to fight and use a weapon: we just need the weapons." So that's the real reason.
"What makes you think they'd follow me? And what makes you think I'm...important…in Dauntless?" I ask her. If I ever was important, now I'm nothing. She shrugs.
"I have people inside every faction, people that believe in our cause. Even Erudite. Your name, not Tobias Eaton but Four, is known all around Dauntless. You've made yourself a legend there," she answers, her eyes showing a flinch of pride in them.
"I'm not important," I answer, "I'm just a guy with an extremely rare low amount of fears, but so is Tris," I say, pointing at her. Seven fears, maybe even six someday... I'm not telling her why I'm not important in Dauntless any longer.
"Think about it, when you see what's happening, how everything's changing. You know how to find me," she says. I know that, for the moment, our conversation is over. I look at Tris, and get that she understands it too. Evelyn looks at her for the last time.
"I'm going to tell Matt to slow down the train," she says. I shake my head.
"There's no need for that. We can get out of the train at this speed easily," I answer, holding Tris' hand. Evelyn looks at us and our hands.
"Can I ask you how you two met?" she says, I look at Tris, who shrugs off.
"I transferred this year. He was my Instructor," she says and my mother nods.
"Well, I'll leave you now," she says, and turns her back, but seconds later looks at me again. She comes to me and rests her hand on my cheek, her eyes looking for mine as I lower my head.
"I'm glad to have seen you, Tobias," she says in a lower voice, almost cracked,"I've missed you" Oh yeah? Well, I missed you for seven years as a child, mother. I sigh and nod.
"I know," I say and then she turns back and walks away. When I hear the door closing I finally release my breath, even when I didn't know I was holding it back. I feel a small hand on my back and when I look, it's Tris. Not being able to control myself any longer, I put my arms around her, hugging her strongly. She starts stroking my hair.
"It's okay," she says. I feel the train's speed lowering. 'my mother' I think. Even now she couldn't help herself.
"It's fine, Tris," I say, and take her hand, "Come on." We jump off the moving train, landing on the soft grass. When we've both straightened up again, I look at her
"Okay, we should now catch the train that goes back into the city," I tell her, but I notice how she's looking at the lawn, not at me.
"Let's not go back into the city," dhe says, almost a whisper. I nod,
"Okay, where do you want to go?" I ask her, holding her face. She bites her lip.
"Could we go back... to the house." I know to what house she's referring to immediately. I nod
"Yeah, we can catch the train and stop by there, then take the three pm to be back at-" I start, but she cuts me off.
"No, Tobias," she says,"Let's go there… for the night. I don't want to go back to Candor tonight." Tris says, looking at me through her large beautiful eyes, and then it hits me. Tris and I. Abandoned house, at night and alone.
Oh.
thanks and reviews!I'll answer the old ones when i get back home!