Chapter 26 My interpretation of the twins' sexuality… Thank you to reedus fan (lovely stories of their childhood) and to StarKatt427 (interpretation s of the brothers' love for each other). I couldn't agree more! As well, the scene where Connor reaches back to hold Murph's head when his wound is being cauterized? And when Murph absorbs all that pain, letting his brother crush his left hand to escape the handcuffs? What does it mean to love someone that much?

Angsty emotional rollercoaster coming up…

oOo

Telepathy for Dummies Part 2

Murphy wheezed, "What de ye t'ink?" His blue eyes were crinkled in humor and his body was convulsed with laughter.

"I don't know. That's why I'm asking, Murph." I said repressively, but I couldn't look him in the eye anymore, thoroughly embarrassed with myself and my big mouth. Apparently, I had no compunction anymore, my nursing brain running away with me. I dropped my head into my hands.

"Yer lucky it's me an' not Connor. He'd fuck wit' ye mercilessly if'n ye asked him dat question." He paused, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. "Ah, Christ, come on, m'girl—Mother Mary, full of grace. I need a fuckin' smoke." I felt him stand and looked up to find him holding his right hand out to me.

He led me out onto the balcony, lighting his cigarette. He exhaled and turned, wrapping me up. "Yer de most amazin' creature." He said softly into my ear, face hidden in my hair.

"What do you mean?" I asked, still embarrassed at my own question. He pulled back then and lipped his cigarette. He brought both hands to my face, holding my head very still.

"M'girl." He paused and took a deep breath, exhaling smoke. His eyes swiveled back to stare into mine. "Sair-sha. Dere, dat's better. Ye hardly ever talk, but when ye do, ye slay me." His fingers brushed over the skin of my cheek and his eyes held mine steady, then his hands dropped away and he leaned back against the railing, pulling me with him.

He smoked quietly for a minute, looking out over the city, gathering his thoughts. I kept my mouth shut, waiting for him to tell me what he would. I could see the Irish story teller in him preparing himself, quieter twin or no. His gaze finally came back to me and his eyes were steady on mine when he started.

"Connor an' I slept t'gether 'til we were twelve, unwillin' t'be separated. We used t'scream bloody murder at our Ma, if'n she'd separate us. Twas worse if she put us t'gether wit' one on de wrong side. I hated it when Connor wasn't always on me left an' he'd crawl ower me in our crib, fightin' t'git me back on his right." He took another drag and exhaled, smiling at the memories of childhood, flicking ash away. Then he laughed. "Ma said he almost smothered me once. Nearly gave her a heart attack." He paused. I saw his face flush slightly, and his tongue brushed his lower lip, a sure sign of his internal anxiety.

"Connor an' I havna slept t'gether since we were twelve an' I had me first wet dream. At least not 'til we started sleepin' wit' ye." He looked away from me then, out at the buildings and streets of Southie. Now the tips of his ears were pink, his skin flushed at the admission of something so personal. "Ye want t'know what I dreamed of? Dat first night when I was twelve?" I nodded my head just slightly, keeping my face carefully blank. I couldn't look away from him now if my life depended on it. He glanced back at me.

"I dreamed o'a girl wit' long black hair, skin as pale as mine, an' whose eyes were navy blue." He used his right hand to pull the cigarette away from his mouth, holding me close now with his left arm tight around my waist. "I probably shouldn't tell ye dis part, but ye know what Connor dreamed o'dat same night?" I shook my head, my eyes wide at his honesty. "De same. He had de same damn dream." He sighed and crushed out his cigarette, wrapping both arms around me. "An' now here ye are."

I tilted my chin to look at him. I thought Murphy was telling me this to further explain the telepathy, and it certainly illustrated his point. But, realization dawned, my brain working fast. That's why Connor, the brash, wild, confident one, hadn't talked to me on the T all those months; he didn't know how if he had seen my face in a dream fourteen years ago. I felt my breath hitch when the other penny dropped. What Murphy was also telling me was tantamount to an admission of their feelings for me. Holy shit! I felt my heart rate speed up but held myself still. He had more to tell me. I could see it in his face.

He bent to rest his forehead against mine. "I love me brudder more'n me own life, m'girl. He is everyt'ing t'me, de other half of me. If he died, I would die too. And I'm de same fer him." He sighed, lifted his head, and scrubbed a hand through his hair, making it stick up. But I could see the gravity of emotion marking his face; the love he was trying to explain to me for his brother. He said very softly, almost under his breath. "Two bodies, one soul."

They had always been mirrors for me. Now I understood the depth. Like a candle flame held up to a true antique mirror, the flame multiplied and echoed for eternity. I realized their love for each was nearly transcendent in its beauty. I had seen it, but misinterpreted it. I was very afraid for a minute; afraid I would take a misstep with these brothers and damage them in some way. They had told me so much about themselves in just a few short days, letting me in, trusting me. "I'm sorry I asked about the sex part," I said remorsefully. I looked down abruptly.

"Hush. Let me finish." His right hand came up to tilt my chin to hold my eyes with his. "Connor an' I may have a unique relationship, but it doesna include crossing a few very important lines. Ye've seen some lines get crossed already wit' ye. But t'answer yer question, no, m'girl. I've never fucked me brudder, nor him me. I've never touched him dat way before I used yer body t'do it on Saturday an' I never will. It's not in us dat way."

I felt my body shudder against him and I buried my head in the curve of his neck, hiding my face, grateful the green monster was easing up. I sensed the kind of love these brothers embodied for each other, felt it on an instinctual level, and now I understood it deep in my psyche.

And that was it. I was done: the tipping point. I had let them both into my life, given them keys to my apartment, given them a place for their rosaries. And now, I gave them my heart. I rubbed my face against the smooth skin of Murphy's chest wishing Connor was here with us. I needed him here to make us complete.

"Thanks for explaining, Murph." I took a deep breath and raised my head. "And just for the record, I liked what you did to us." He smiled reflexively, the wicked glint back in his eye.

"Aye, I could see it in ye both, dat's why I kept drivin' ye. Liberatin,' it'd'nt it?" I smiled my answer back at him and he bent his head to kiss me.