100 challenge
Prompt 026: tears
Title: Emotions
Kathleen was never a big fan of showing emotion. She kept her feelings to herself. To her, to show emotion was a weakness, one she couldn't afford. Any show of joy, pride, affection, or sorrow was never allowed. The only emotion she approved of was anger, the only emotion a soldier needed.
Sheila had never been one to show emotions. She was more than happy to let someone know when she was angry, as was proven the first time Kathleen had met her. They fought many times over the years, but it was their own way of getting along. They were constantly competing with each other, trying to be the tougher. Though at some point over the years, Sheila even stopped showing her anger. Something about that had always set wrong with Kathleen.
Joshua didn't show emotion during exercises, but was bursting with it after a mission. Out in the field, he was cold and sharp like a blade, but when they got back to the base after the mission, he was talkative and clung all over whoever he was around. Kathleen learned early on to drop him off on another trainee, usually Sheila, just to bug her. It kept him from trying to talk to her. Kept him from asking her how she was feeling, if she had thought they'd done well, or if she'd been injured at all. Avoiding such conversations kept Kathleen from knocking him out.
Will was someone that Kathleen had always gotten along with. He wasn't big on anger, but he did like to make jokes and riddles. Kathleen didn't mind them as much. There was something amusing about watching Sheila hit Joshua for contradicting her answer to a riddle. He never forced people to take part, only those that wanted to. Over time, he even learned what kind of jokes Kathleen actually liked. It was the first sign she really had that she was different from the others. Will would make more violent or vulgar jokes around her just to get a smirk. They were the jokes she liked. Over time, it happened less and less. He stopped coming up with riddles and the jokes ceased at some point. It felt like something was lost in their training.
Fred was a completely different story. He'd always been more than happy to praise his team, show his joy, try to show her affection, or show his sorrow after a loss. Kathleen had seen him get frustrated, but never angry. He went against every rule of emotion that Kathleen lived by. She'd tried to teach him to show it less, harden like the rest of the soldiers. She'd hit him whenever he showed any emotion. It didn't really stop him. He just learned to duck.
Kathleen sat in the forest, waiting for the instructors to come and get her. She knew they would. She hated herself at the moment. She'd backed down from a challenge, been a coward. At the moment she didn't feel like a soldier. She felt like a scared little child. The memories of her former team flowed through her head as silent tears streaked down her face. She was almost glad that her team wasn't alive. They weren't there to see her break like this. She hated herself at that moment for being weak enough to show emotion. Her hands went to her face trying to wipe away the tears, trying to make them stop, but they kept coming. She finally gave up and clutched her legs to her chest, letting the tears flow freely.