The Lab Chapter 26:
Sans was awake. Or, at least, he was pretty sure he was. He wasn't sure what the heck he was seeing, though. Some sort of pale and blurry mess. We he finally got the will to sit up, he heard the flap of paper in the air and realized someone had left a note on his face. At the top was a message from Alphys— she had gone back to the lab to take care of some "chores". She asked him to meet her there with Frisk whenever they were ready. Below that was another message, as dictated by Papyrus, but written by Frisk, judging by the lopsided handwriting and the spelling mistakes. They said that they and Undyne were out in the puzzle areas. To meet them there if he felt like it. Frisk also added that there was a ketchup-hotdog sandwich in the fridge for him if he wanted. He did.
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Took him a while to convince himself to get out of the blanket fort. He read the comics in the newspaper while eating what was essentially just a hotdog swimming in ketchup that Frisk had left for him. Wasn't too bad.
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He actually remembered to change his clothes today. Grabbed a regular t-shirt that Papyrus had written "SKELETON 2" on. If he noticed, it would probably trigger him to make Frisk a shirt with "SKELETON 3" on it. They were ordered by height, after all. That would really make the kid's day, he was sure of it.
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He grabbed his coat and headed out. He checked the normal puzzle spots. No one at the two closest to town; there was nothing but footprints there. Farther back towards the west, near what was once Papyrus's simplest switch trap, he found them.
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Papyrus had set up some new switches, and Undyne was racing around, trying to solve them and turn the X's to O's. There was one she kept accidentally pushing into the third phase, the triangle, though. Frisk was stationed, squatting, by the reset switch. Strangely appropriate, he thought. They seemed to be having a lot of fun.
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When Undyne finally solved it, she whooped loudly and punched the air. Papyrus clapped and she grabbed him and noogied him. Frisk snickered and clapped, but then noticed Sans pretty quickly. She got up quickly and ran to him and hugged him tight.
"Sans! Good morning!" she said brightly. "Had a good sleep, right?"
"Yup." He ruffled her hair. "Good idea, kid."
She beamed.
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"Ah! Look who has finally heaved himself out of the overwhelming coziness of the Great Papyrus Blanket Megafort," Papyrus said as he sauntered over. "You are very lucky Frisk was there, brother, or I would have dragged you right out into the cold with us!"
"Hm. That's alright, bro, snow's kinda like a pillow, too," Sans said.
"Hey, Sans," Undyne said. "Jeez, I have never seen a person so happy to be asleep before."
He grinned and shrugged.
"Did you get Alph's message?" she asked.
"Yup."
"Cool." She nodded and grinned. "Guys, this was fun, we should do it again sometime. I'm gonna head home and do a quick patrol. See you at the lab?"
"Absolutely we will!" Papyrus said. He suddenly looked bashful. "Um. C-Captain? I was wondering… since Sans can take Frisk and teleport, I'll be a bit behind them anyway, so I was hoping. Maybe. You might have room in your patrol for one more? Skeleton? Named Papyrus?"
Frisk tried not to coo. Undyne tilted her head; her ear-fins perked up.
"Yeah, sure, why not?" she said.
Papyrus squealed and Frisk clapped for him. "Thank you, Captain! I won't let you down!" he announced.
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Papyrus hugged his siblings goodbye before marching off quite quickly with Undyne. Sans was glowing with pride. He turned to Frisk.
"Hungry?"
"Heck yes," she said.
"Alright." He took her hand and they were in front of Grillby's in a blink.
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Most of the dog guards and a handful of regulars were already inside the place, and they all greeted each other happily. They took their seats and Frisk was soon munching another burger while Sans sipped ketchup.
"You think Alphys has any stuff yet?" Frisk wondered.
"Maybe," he said.
"I hope so," she said. "It'll probably take a lot of monsters, huh?"
"Probably." Sans shrugged. "Still gotta bind it. Maybe that can be me. I dunno."
"Why you?" she asked. "I could do it."
"Maybe," he said, "but you don't know how to project your soul, huh?"
"I could learn!" she said.
"I dunno, buddy," he said. "You know any wizards? Human ones."
"Wizards?" she repeated. "No. Is that still even a thing?"
Sans shrugged again. "Then I dunno what to tell ya. Guess maybe my soul could handle it since I—"
"I don't want you to," Frisk said quickly. "You've been through enough. I'll figure it out. There's no way that's the only way to do it. I just really hope we can get enough monsters to go along with this."
"Hm." Sans looked thoughtful and nodded at Grillby. "Yo. Grillbs. Say you had to give up just a tiny bit of your soul, but it would save the world, would you do it?"
Grillby shrugged and nodded before he moved off to start cleaning more glass mugs.
"One down," Sans said.
Frisk laughed.
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"Maybe Mettaton can help," she said brightly. "He's kinda the one guy on TV, right? I bet he could help."
"Hm. Not bad," he agreed. "Guy's connected, I'll give 'im that." He finished his drink and rubbed the back of his skull. He cut his eyes at her and smiled. "Guess you had to get pretty good at dancin', huh?"
"Huh? Oh! Hah! Yeah," she said. She finished her burger and reached into her pocket and put some gold on the counter.
"Kid, I have a tab," he said.
"Yeah, but that's okay, some of those kids with the ice hats did that thing where they jumped me and then ended up giving me money. What else am I gonna spend it on?" She waved at Grillby and he waved back. "Okay, done?"
"Yup."
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Frisk quickly texted Alphys to let her know they were on their way, and as soon as they were outside and the coast was clear, Sans took her hand again and they appeared in Alphys's lab. She didn't seem to be around.
"Doc?" Sans asked.
Silence. Frisk checked her phone. Also nothing. She looked at him with a furrowed brow and he shrugged.
"Oh. Actually. I think I forgot somethin'," he said. "Be right back?"
"For real?" she asked with a laugh.
"Absolutely." He winked. "Won't be long." He disappeared.
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Frisk yawned and leaned up against Alphys's desk for a minute. Then, got on her rolling chair and spun around a little. She noticed Alphys's phone was on her desk. The text notification was still on the screen. Frisk pouted. She got up and looked around once more.
"Alphys?" she called. Nothing. Maybe she was downstairs?
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Frisk got off the chair and headed for the back of the lab, through an unassuming door near the east exit. It was, in fact, the door to an elevator. Frisk rode it underground into the what was really the bulk of the lab.
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It clunked down and, when the doors opened, she was surprised to come face to face with a pale creature that looked a lot like a tall bird with one giant eye in the middle of its head.
"Oh! Hello!" she said.
The monster tilted its head so far that its long neck allowed it to go completely upside down. "Do… you have… food?" Its voice was layered with many, a bit more male than female, and slow. "Can we… have some…?"
"Oh! Well, I don't, but I can get you some chips," she said.
"Ooh… Y… Yes. Good. Yes good…"
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Frisk knew this creature, a little bit, at least. In the lab, here, lived monsters that Alphys had injected with determination in attempts to help them after they had prematurely "fallen down". Frisk had found out all about it in notes Alphys had left all over the lab on her second trip through the underground. Though the initial results had been good, the monsters that had seemingly been cured soon lost the ability to hold their forms. Many of them had melded together and formed new bodies. The monster before her now was one of them— they could have once been six or seven monsters, or maybe even more.
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She lead the amalgamate back down the hallway and found a vending machine beside another set of elevator doors. She popped in a few coins and was rewarded with a bag of chips. She opened them for the monster and gave it to them. They immediately stuck their beak in the bag. Frisk smiled.
"You haven't seen Alphys around at all, have you?" she asked.
"…Doctor. Yes. Mmm. Follow." They waved a wing and strode on long, somewhat noodle-like legs down the hallway to the right.
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Frisk could hear her voice after a little while, but she was too far to make out what exactly she was saying. Something also sounded like quite a lot of dogs.
"Alphys?" she called.
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Alphys stumbled into view at the end of the hallway heaving a huge bag of kibble along with her. "F-Frisk?!" she yelped. She immediately tripped and the bag tipped.
Kibble spilled out all over the floor and before either of them could move, Alphys was knocked back by a massive creature like a white dog with too many legs and a hole where the face should have been. Just then, that hole was acting an awful lot like a vacuum. The bird-like monster didn't seem to have a care in the world and wandered off, and, as soon as they were done with the kibble, the dog creature bounded to Frisk.
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She grinned and grabbed what would have been the dog's fluffy cheeks and rubbed her hands through the fur that had the faint texture of putty.
"Hey, big guy!" she said brightly— the hole that was the face began to ooze a black goo and she laughed. "Hah, gross! You look pretty happy, huh?"
The tail wagged so hard the sound it made against the walls was like a heavy drum. She pet their head and almost instantly, they started to lean into her until she had to sit down. They collapsed, too, and she pet their neck and what she could reach of their side.
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"Oh… Oh m-my god." Alphys let out a huge sigh. "I… I forgot you knew."
"No worries!" Frisk said. "Sorry to surprise you. I tried to text you but you left your phone upstairs."
"My…" She checked her pockets and her cheeks flushed red. "Oh. Y-You're right." She shoved the kibble bag across the room and poured it out into a large, green dish.
The giant mash of dogs rolled off Frisk and bounded, tail wagging, for the food.
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Alphys took a few steps back and wiped her brow. She smiled bashfully at Frisk. "Um, wh-where's Sans, did he—?"
"He's coming. I think. He just forgot something," Frisk said.
"Uh. Okay. Cool," Alphys said, nodding. "Should we go up? I'd, um… I'd like to a-ask you… uhhh... Well, come with me?"
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They went upstairs together and Alphys sat her on the chair again and began to set up a table and some wires and some other things that looked somewhat medical. She turned to Frisk with a nervous, bashful smile. "C-Could, uh… Um. Can I…? Um… C-Can I try to analyze you?"
"Me? Sure, I guess so!" Frisk said.
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Alphys nodded, took a deep breath, and then edged closer with some of the apparatuses connected to her computer. She tilted her head. She brushed some of Frisk's hair away from her neck and hesitantly pressed a sensor against her.
"A-Actually. I... I don't know if this'll, uhh, even w-work on you," she said quietly. "I'm… not sure where t-to… Oh!" She handed Frisk one of the cables, and then rolled up the kid's sleeve and hooked it up another to her wrist and hand. "Now, if you can j-just, um, hold that near y-your soul, and… th-that should be…" She headed to her computer and brought up a screen of visualized data. "…Good. I think?"
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"So, just hold it?"
"Yeah."
Frisk shrugged and lit her soul up. The computer immediately crashed. Alphys yelped.
"Oh! Sorry!" Frisk said.
"Oh. Oh, it… Hah!" Alphys started to laugh. "It probably couldn't handle the determination. Th-That's okay, I'll… I'll just have to f-fiddle with it. S-Sorry about that." She hurried back over and took the wires back. She rubbed her headspines.
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"D-Do you, uhh...? Do you know what th-those numbers you gave me were, Frisk?" she asked.
Frisk shook her head.
"Ah." She looked confused, but she smiled. "W-Well… It's weird. It's like… s-someone must've overheard us at s-some point? A-And maybe wanted to keep is secret?"
"What d'you mean?" she asked.
"It… It w-was an explanation of a determination variable I didn't quite get," she said. "S-So… So if you could… tell them thanks?"
"Oh! Yeah, sure! That's great," Frisk said. "That's really weird, though, but that's good, right?"
"Y-Yes! Yes definitely," Alphys said. "I'm… I'm actually getting pretty confident about this."
"That's good," Frisk said.
"N-Now, I'm actually supposed to meet with Mettaton a bit later today, but I was hoping maybe we… we c-could finish collecting data tomorrow," she said. "I… I'll probably need your help. And probably Sans's, too."
"Oh! Okay, how can I help?" Frisk asked.
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"Thing is," Alphys said, "there's actually a lot of old computers and books downstairs. I-In some of the r-rooms I never really used since I moved here. I heard rumours that they're from the old Royal Scientist. The one b-before me."
"Ooh. Who was it? Can we go talk to them?" Frisk asked.
Alphys shook her head. "No one really knows. B-But I mean, there had to be someone, right? I wasn't always the Royal Scientist. B-But the thing is, there's… There's n-no records. Nothing." She looked a little nervous. "Asgore's a-always been interested in t-trying to find a w-way out of the underground w-without killing anyone, you know? S-So… So maybe... maybe on those old computers? There might be something? I just need some help looking. S-So if maybe you and Sans could? Since he knows the p-place, and you do too? I could keep working while you do that."
"Okay, no problem!" she said. "Hey, do you think Sans knows the old guy?"
"Umm… N-No, I don't think so, w-we worked here for a-about the same amount of time," she said. "I never met them. I asked Asgore a-about it, once, a long time ago. H-He just said he could't remember, s-so… I'm n-not sure, maybe they weren't here very long? I really c-couldn't say."
"So mysterious," Frisk said with a laugh. "Alright. No problem, I'll help out."
"Thanks."
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Alphys's computer finally finished booting up. The screen flickered oddly for a moment, but then settled on Alphys's desktop, which had a background of a screen grab from an episode of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie where the anime girls were having fun on a beach. Alphys took a moment to restart whatever programs she needed, checked the security cameras for the outside, and then paused for a moment, drumming her fingers on the desk. She looked at Frisk with a somewhat serious expression.
"Frisk, wh-what you're doing, it's r-really important, actually," Alphys said. "Whatever happens, we really d-do need to make sure we break the b-barrier, alright?"
"Yeah, of course," Frisk said.
Alphys nodded. She looked a bit sad; a bit worried, too. Frisk slid off the chair and edged closer.
"Alphys?" she asked.
"Oh! Uh. Um… Well." She sighed. "Do you know, um…? Do you know a-about when monsters falls?"
"A little." Frisk frowned worriedly. "Isn't…? Isn't that when they're going to turn to dust soon?"
"Mhmm." Alphys nodded. "You know about m-my work, right? What happened? Those… monsters, downstairs?"
Frisk nodded. Alphys sighed again. She took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes.
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"See, b-back before we were trapped down here, um, this w-wasn't really a problem, you know?" she said. "A m-monster used t-to only fall when their time n-naturally ran out, u-usually after having k-kids at some point. But… But now, it's… It's like people are just giving up, more and more. The d-determination balance is very very important in a monster's soul. T-Too much and… well… You know. B-But too l-little or none at all…" She shook her head. "The longer we're here, the more monsters fall. They j-just… They can't handle it."
Frisk gulped and put her hand on Alphys's arm. She smiled a little and held the kid's hand. She took a deep breath and put her glasses back on.
"Frisk, th-thank you," she said. "Once this is over, y-you'll have done what I couldn't. What n-no one could do."
"It's not just me," Frisk said quickly. "But I'm gonna do my best. Thing is, I think down here is totally great, but it's not fair that you're all stuck here with no choice. We'll get out."
Alphys smiled. "You really a-are a good kid. Just, umm… well… I just wanted you to know h-how important this all is."
Frisk nodded. Alphys smiled a little wider.
"It's… It's really good to have you around again, Frisk," she said.
Frisk grinned. "Thanks, I'm happy to be here, too."
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Alphys blushed a little. Gently, she wrapped the kid in a hug. "…I hope you d-don't mind. S-Sans… told me. About how he figured out you were the anchor. W-We're so lucky to have you."
"Oh! Oh man," Frisk said with a laugh. "He tell you about how I cried like a huge baby?"
"Um… U-Um, more about how he fell over in the snow and started, um… what did he say? Leaking like a goddamn w-waterfall, I think is what he said."
Frisk laughed. "He was so tired. He didn't actually cry that much, he was mostly just shaking like crazy. He was super burnt out by then, just trying to keep everyone safe. I was glad it was my turn."
"I g-guess he must've b-been," she said. "He… d-didn't tell me about keeping people safe, though?"
Frisk laughed again and pulled back to rub her face. "Of course he wouldn't," she said, mostly to herself. "Did he tell you how these anomalies, the other ones, a bunch of them tried to end the world? Did he tell you about the ghost?"
"The ghost? Y-Yeah, kinda," Alphys said. "What do you mean, though?"
"Chara. The ghost. She's been through all these timelines, too. Taking anomalies along a bad path. Trying to end the world by killing everyone and getting enough power to… well… I'm not really sure how it works. But it's bad. Sans's seen it a bunch," she said. "What he'd do, at the end… after everyone was gone and it was just him and that thing left, he was amazing."
"Wh-What did he do?" Alphys asked a little nervously.
Frisk smiled, looking a little proud. "He'd fight them. And he's good. Really good," she said. "His magic, it hurts people more for how much they've hurt people. And he'd remember these guys with their resets. He'd make it just so frustrating for them that most of them would actually just hop off the world or reset or whatever. It was too hard to beat him. Some did, but… b-but that number's pretty low in the big scheme of things."
Alphys gawked. "H-He did all that!? Wh-Why didn't he t-tell me THAT?!"
"It takes a lot of pushing to get him to talk about himself," Frisk said with a smile and a shrug. "And… it's not a thing he likes to talk about. Once it's done, it's done, that's the way he sees it. Doesn't matter what happened in the past. Those anomalies are gone forever, y'know? So. It's really just like a bad dream."
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Alphys suddenly yelped. Frisk felt a hand on her shoulder.
"H-H-Holy crap, Sans!" Alphys said shrilly.
"Heh. Sorry," he said. "Just had to get some stuff."
"Hey, just gave Alphys the run-down on how you're a freakin' cool world-saving guy and stuff," the kid said.
"Oh no." He laughed. "But then she'll expect more from me."
"Um, S-Sans," Alphys said. "I… Okay, I… w-won't push it, but… Thanks f-for what you did, even though w-we won't r-remember."
"Hey. No problem," he said, and he winked. "Took literally no effort this time around, so, no big deal."
Alphys rubbed her forehead, and Frisk snickered.
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"Hey, do you know who the old scientist guy was?" Frisk asked, tilting her head back to look at him.
"Old scientist guy?" he repeated.
"Yeah, like, the scientist who ran this place before Alphys did?"
"Uh. No. Nope," he said. "Hm. Kinda weird now that I think about it. Never met 'em. Must've booked it when they quit." He shrugged.
Frisk shrugged, too. He slumped lazily on her shoulders and rested his chin on her head.
"So, what's up?"
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"I almost blew up Alphys's computer," Frisk said.
"Huh. Better back up your fanfics, Doc," Sans said.
"Hah hah," she said, but then stole a hesitant glance at the computer. "Oh… A-Actually…"
He snickered. "So what happened?"
"Oh, it uhh… It just c-couldn't handle whatever her d-determination reading was, I think," Alphys said. "S-Sans, would you mind if I check you again?"
"Oh." He straightened up. "So that's what this is about."
"J-Just want to compare," Alphys said. "D-Do you mind?"
"Guess not."
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He sat up on the table and ditched his jacket and shirt. There was a pillow in his ribcage.
"Whoops." He pulled it out and tossed it over his shoulder. "Forgot about that."
Alphys laughed nervously; Frisk's snicker was genuinely amused. She cautiously edged up and poked one of his ribs.
"Dude," he said.
"Sorry." She smiled bashfully. "You are way smaller without your sweatshirt."
"Yup. All bones under there," he said with a wink. "Alphys, better hurry this up, this kid is gonna start xylophonin' me, I can see it in her eyes."
"Not even one time?" Frisk asked.
"Don't you do it," he warned.
"Oookaaay." She sighed dramatically. "Fine, fine, I won't."
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"Xylophoning? D-Do I want to know?" Alphys asked as she moved in to hook him up.
"Ooh!" Frisk said. "It's just when you take a pen or something and—"
"Dude, don't tell her, then she's gonna do it," Sans protested.
"Okay, okay, sorry," Frisk laughed. "Tickles, huh?"
"It doesn't even make a good noise," Sans said.
"How would you know?" she asked suspiciously.
Sans smiled sideways and shrugged. Frisk put her face in her hand and laughed.
"What? What?" Alphys asked.
"He did it to Papyrus," Frisk said.
"Hey, what can I say," he said. "I gotta bit of a funny bone."
"Oh my g-god," Alphys said.
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She finished with attaching the probes and wires up his arm, and then brought a weird, half-moon shaped metal clamp and more wires over.
"Um… It's o-okay if you s-say no, but, I was wondering if I c-could get this in near the working eye?"
"Which one?" he asked.
"I mean the one that lights up."
"Oh. Uh. Sure?"
"Th-Thanks," she said brightly, getting up on a chair to match him on the table.
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Alphys was very careful with him. The metal, which was partially padded, seemed to fit quite snugly in his eye socket, along the ridge of the bone.
"I j-just figured, since skeletons seem to do a lot of eye channelling, the readings there would k-kinda help, you know?" she said.
"Fair enough." He tapped it gently with his fingertip and then looked at Frisk with a grin. "Startin' to look like a cyborg, huh?"
She snickered. "Just a bit."
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Alphys hopped off the chair and dragged it back to the computer, where she took a look at the measurements and moving waveforms carefully. Frisk edged closer to peer at them curiously.
"Hmm… Still about the same," Alphys said. "Light it up?"
"You're the boss," Sans said, and he let his magic flare bright.
Alphys tapped her foot. Frisk watched the visualization of his hum speed just a little. She tilted her head.
"Sans, is that your song?" she asked.
"O-Oh! We t-typically call that a hum, Frisk," Alphys said, smiling. "It's l-like a magical resonance. F-From our souls. It's a p-part of who we are."
Frisk smiled and nodded. "It's cool."
"Y-Yeah! I think so t-too," she said. "I spent a l-lot of time studying them. A-Are you familiar?"
"It's the sound you can hear if you listen really close, right?" Frisk said. "And it goes nuts and kinda becomes a song when you guys use a lot of magic, right?"
"Exactly," Alphys said with a smile. "Th-That's good, Sans, thanks. You can stop now."
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When his glow stopped, the hum slowed. Frisk watched as Alphys typed in some variables and cycled through some more visualizations of data. She bit her lip and compared a heart-shaped symbol to another one that seemed to be identical. She let out a breath of relief.
"No change in determination," she said. "Th-Thank god."
"I told you," Sans said. "No problem."
"Okay. Okay, I g-get it." She laughed a little and wiped her brow. "Okay. Y-You're done."
"Oh good." He began to unhook himself, and Frisk clambered up onto the table beside him to gently help him get the metal out of his eye socket.
"Why, was something wrong?" Frisk asked.
"Nope," Sans said.
"Oh y-yeah, nothing," Alphys said, her tone lightly sarcastic, "just that the amount of determination in Sans is enough to cause a monster to not hold their form."
"Oh. Ooh." Frisk frowned. "I think he's always been like that though. Since you were born even, right, bro?"
"Pretty sure, yeah," Sans said.
"Who the heck were your parents?" Alphys asked, wide eyed.
Sans shrugged. She sighed and rubbed her temples.
"Okay. Okay, that's fine," she said. "As long are you're s-stable, it's fine." She switched the page again to more charts and, very suddenly, gasped.
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"Sans. Sans. Sans Sans Sans, oh my god ohmigodohmigod." She squealed.
Before either Frisk or Sans could ask, she grabbed him off the table and hugged him tight.
"Uhh…" He smiled awkwardly. "Didn't think it was that big a deal."
"T-T-Two!" she said.
"What?" he asked.
Alphys started laughing. Her eyes watered. She pulled back and pointed at the screen. "Two. It went up. To two."
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Sans's eyes went wide. He looked at Frisk. She put her hands to her mouth. His cheekbones flushed icy blue and his iris shone likewise. He started to grin quite brightly.
"Wow. Uh. Didn't see that comin'," he said. "You sure?"
"Y-Yeah! Yeah, I mean, it's… Yeah, it's definitely two," Alphys said. "Oh my god, Sans, that's…! That's fantastic!"
He looked almost embarrassed. But he was happy. Really happy. It shone from him as clearly as if he had said it.
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Frisk beamed. She jumped off the table and gave him a hug around his boney shoulders. He froze for a second, as if she had surprised him, but then wilted and squeezed her gently.
"Congrats, bro," she said. "This is really good, huh?"
"Mhm." He grinned. "This is… new. I dig it. Thanks, Doc."
"O-Oh! D-Don't thank me," she said quickly. "I'm... I'm n-not totally sure, but I'm, um, leaning t-towards thinking we might need to b-be thanking Undyne."
"Undyne," he repeated. "Huh."
Frisk let him go and ran around him in a circle, inspecting him. "You don't look any different."
He was about to answer when he froze at the all too familiar feeling of a pen going down his ribs.
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He whirled on Frisk and she cackled and ran away. His eyes went dark and he grabbed his shirt. "Oh, you are gonna get it."
She squealed. He gave her a few second's head start, but then appeared in front of her. She turned to run the other way, but he was there, too.
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Alphys watched with wide eyes, hesitant to interrupt what had quickly become a baffling game of tag. The kid was kind of wiry, but was still much faster than she looked. Didn't really matter, though, because Sans could teleport. Seemed to know where she'd be anyway.
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The second she wavered, he snatched her soul in his blue magic and lifted her off her feet.
"Aw man," she said.
"What do you have to say for yourself?" he asked.
"Okay, okay, hear me out," she said. "What about? Those narrow cow-bell kinda things?"
"Cow-bell?" he repeated.
"Or, um... claves! That'd make a good sound, right?"
"…Huh." He tilted his head. "Not bad."
"Yeah?!" She looked hopeful.
"Okay, okay." He let her down and caught her in his arms. "S'good."
She giggled and grabbed him tight around the shoulders.
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Alphys's face went red. She wasn't entirely sure what she had just watched, and also didn't have time to ask when she heard the elevator ding. She didn't even have time to feel the shock as several colourless forms swarmed out of the elevator and glommed onto Sans.
"AAAH! G-G-Guys!" Alphys rushed over and pulled a creature with huge teeth and the bird-like amalgamate up and off. "O-Oh my g-god. Oh my god."
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"Welp. That was new," Sans said.
Alphys whirled to find him and Frisk behind her, but almost immediately, the huge mess of dogs knocked them down, tail wagging. Frisk started to laugh. Alphys tried not to wheeze and she gently shoved the two that she had grabbed back towards the elevator, even as the bird strained their neck back towards Sans. Ambling past them, though, was a droopy mess of monsters that had taken a form like a shaggy, owl-like snow dragon.
"Ex... cuse me…?" she asked.
"J-Just one second, sorry!" Alphys said. "C'mon, you guys, you n-need to g-go back downstairs, okay?"
"UNFAIR," the toothy monster said. "UNFAIR UNFAIR."
"I know, I know, b-but you c-can't just…" Alphys sighed. "I'll t-talk to you later, okay?" She put them both on the elevator and sent it back down.
.
When she returned to the other room, she was shocked and relieved to find Sans, sitting on the floor, using magic to toss a bone around for the giant dog creature. The other was sitting with Frisk, laughing very slowly.
"Okay, okay, what about this one?" Frisk was saying. "Where does a snowdrake go to dance?"
"…Where…?"
"A snow ball!"
Sans snickered. The amalgamate wheezed a little. She seemed to like it.
.
"Mrs. Snowdrake, are you alright?" Alphys asked gently.
Mrs. Snowdrake nodded slowly. There was a smile on her lopsided beak and the monsters that made up what might have once been eyes smiled too.
"Can you tell me, wh-what made you all come up here?" she asked.
"…Energy's… strong…" she said quietly.
.
Alphys's eyes went wide. Frisk pointed at herself.
"Me?" she asked.
Mrs. Snowdrake looked at her and seemed thoughtful for a few seconds. She raised her limbs slowly. "Like a... fire… work…"
"Oh. Whoops. That'd be me then," Sans said. "Sorry about that, lady."
"Nice… young... man…" she said. She got up slowly and gently patted him on both shoulders before waddling over to Alphys. "Home... now? Sno… wy?"
Alphys gulped. She put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Soon. S-Soon, I promise," she said. "C'mon, l-let's get you back d-downstairs, huh? We'll get you s-some tea, what d'you say?"
Mrs. Snowdrake hummed gently. She let Alphys guide her away. She whistled and the huge dog bounded after her, their face-hole full of magic bones.
"S-Sans, do you need these back?" Alphys called.
"Nope."
.
Sans flopped onto his back. "Well, that was… interesting."
"No more teleport tag I guess," Frisk said.
"Mhm." He put his arms behind his head and closed his eyes. "She's doing a good job with 'em."
Frisk down beside him and took out her phone. She texted a quick thank you to her mystery friend. She got a reply almost right away: a smily-face and a heart. Made her smile, too. "I'm gonna tell Papyrus to get his butt over here."
"He doesn't have a butt."
"Non-literal butt," she said. "You wanna tell him about it?"
"Yeah, I guess," he said.
.
She sent him a message, told him to come to the lab whenever he and Undyne were done; that there was exciting news. Almost as soon as she hit send, the phone rang. She jumped. She thought it was him, but the caller ID showed her, instead, that it was Toriel.
"Oh my god, it's mom!" she squealed. She got up and answered. "Mom?! Oh! Are you okay? I tried to… Oh… Oh!" She started to laugh, and pointed towards the up escalator; Sans waved and she headed upstairs. "So a dog took your—? Oh! Oh man, that's a huge relief, I'm glad everything's fine! How are you?"
.
Her words faded as she left, or maybe Sans was just falling asleep. He opened his eyes again when he heard Alphys's voice. She was staring down at him with a concerned smile.
"You okay?" she asked.
"Oh. Yeah. Absolutely," he said. He sat up and rubbed the back of his skull. "So they looked alright. All things considering."
"Y-Yeah? They've… They're a-adjusting," she said. "I'm t-trying to m-make it right. I j-just… I, uhh, I dunno."
Sans got up and patted her shoulder. She sighed and held his hand. She mumbled something into her chest.
"Doc, c'mon," he said.
"I… I s-sometimes wish I'd n-n-never even applied f-for this," she said. "Y-You wouldn't have m-m-messed up like this. N-No one else w-would've and—"
"Really? You don't think anyone else would have tried to save those monster's lives?" he asked.
"W-Well... I'm s-sure they would've, b-but—"
"So you don't think determination research would've taken off."
"O-Of course it would've, b-but—!"
Sans smiled tiredly. "So the chances of this crap happenin', it's actually pretty high, huh?"
Alphys gulped. Her scales flushed.
"I think they're lucky to have someone who'd take care of 'em, you know?" Sans said. "Gotta admit, even I think it's kinda freaky. Most people could probably understand if you just took off and never came back. But here you are, huh?"
.
Alphys bit her lip. Her eyes welled up and she gave him a hug. He patted her head reassuringly. Gave her a little glow of blue through his fingertips and felt her shoulders slump.
"You're doin' the right thing," he said.
"H-H-Hope so." She pulled back and laughed tiredly. "I g-guess you've s-seen, uhh... Seen all the outcomes, huh?"
He shrugged. She rubbed her headspines.
"I g-guess maybe keep the teleporting a b-bit limited in here for a while," she said.
"Yeah, I figured," he said.
.
Sans went to the pillow he had tossed and pulled the books she had lent him out of the pillowcase and handed them to her.
"Hey. Thanks again. Weren't really what I was lookin' for though."
"Oh! N-No problem." She took them back and tilted her head curiously. "What were they for?"
"Welp. Think about it for a second and you'll probably guess."
Alphys looked confused. Then her eyes went wide. "Wait, so you mean—?!"
"Not so loud, huh?" he said.
Alphys clammed up and nodded. "Is, uh…? S-So, I mean, sh-she can't…?"
"Not well." He shrugged. "No big deal."
"B-But she's so well-spoken for a kid…" Alphys mused. "I never would've guessed."
"Keep it that way, huh?" he said with a grin.
Alphys nodded hurriedly.
.
They heard Frisk starting to come down the escalator and Alphys hurriedly threw the books into a pile of garbage beside the garbage can, and kicked some candy wrappers overtop.
"So, how's Tori?" Sans asked.
"She's good! Some dog stole her phone before." Frisk hopped the banister and rode it down until she reached the floor. "But yeah, she's fine. She sounded happy. She asked about you. I told her you were good."
"Oof, kiddo, don't lie to your mom," he joked.
She lightly punched his arm. "Oh, stop it, you are good," she said with a laugh.
He snickered.
.
Frisk turned to Alphys. She tilted her head. "You okay?" she asked.
"Oh! Oh, y-yeah. I'm okay," she assured her.
Frisk didn't look entirely convinced. She gave Alphys a tight hug regardless. "C'mon, Alphys, it's gonna be okay!" she said, and she smiled bright. "You're gonna save the world."
"Oh... O-Oh, F-Frisk, I... Th-That's not…"
"Trust me," Frisk said. She hopped up and kissed her cheek, and Alphys immediately turned red. "Hey! So show me the creepy video!"
"Wh-What?" Alphys squeaked. "Oh! Okay, sure."
.
Alphys took a minute to queue up the recording. Frisk watched it quietly all the way until the end.
"Sans, you're right," she said. "Does look like a horror movie thing."
"Absolutely. Any ideas?" he said.
She shook her head. "No, I… I only remember up until turning away from the door, then everything after that… Nothing. Weird seeing myself there," she said. "Oh well."
"Oh well?" Alphys repeated.
Frisk shrugged and nodded. "I dunno if I have the energy to worry about that yet," she said with a laugh.
"I get that," Sans said. "Okay. We done?"
"I guess?" Alphys said. "I m-mean until everyone else g-gets here."
"Great." Sans plopped down on the floor onto the pillow he had dropped and put his arms behind his head again. "Can't wait."
Frisk snickered. Alphys smiled and returned to her computer.
.
Frisk curiously peeked over to watch as Alphys brought up Sans's data again. She didn't really understand a lot of it, but it was interesting to her anyway.
"Ooh. Hey. Do all souls have a hum?" she asked. "Does mine?"
"Uhhh… Um…" Alphys looked embarrassed. "I… I don't think so, Frisk. N-Not like ours."
"Aw. It doesn't make any sound?"
"Old b-books say maybe a wizard might have a soul's sound like we could recognize," Alphys said. "B-But, I've, um… I've a-actually r-read that, um… a human's sound is…" She suddenly looked nervous. Almost ashamed.
Frisk frowned quizzically. Alphys rubbed her brow.
"It's… It's w-war drums, I heard it was l-like w-war drums," she said quickly.
"War drums?" Frisk repeated. "Oh…"
"Oh! Oh n-no, I'm sorry, don't b-be sad!" Alphys said hurriedly. "It m-might not even be t-true, it's just wh-what some dumb old history books said. It's n-not like I've e-ever actually b-been able to analyze a human before. It m-might turn out that you do have one, once I c-can get this old hunk of j-junk to take your determination input without shutting down."
"Oh! Okay, cool," Frisk said brightly. "Monster hums are really cool."
"I g-guess you must've heard a lot of them by now," Alphys mused. "I guess th-that must've been a big surprise, huh?"
"It really was," Frisk said. "But it's great! Undyne's used to make me panic like crazy, though."
"Pfft. I bet," Sans said.
.
Frisk smiled. She sat down on the floor and put her chin on her hand. She looked thoughtful. Sans cut his eyes at her.
"What?" he asked.
She shrugged and then flopped over him lazily. "Blarg, human war drums!"
He snickered. "Oh no, what's that? A human army in the distance? Welp. This is the worst."
Frisk laughed and sat up. "It's not that bad, is it?"
"Honestly? I, uh, don't really hear it, pal." He sat up and stretched his arms. "Felt a bit of a rumble, though. Think it might be Captain Stabsalot."
.
As if on cue, the front door of the lab was kicked open with a thunderous bang, and Undyne, decked out in full armour, ran in. She took her hemet off and hurriedly brushed a hand through her hair. She was sweating profusely.
"It is TOO DAMN HOT!" she yelled.
"Did you, uh, not read the sign?" Sans asked. "The one giant sign. That says Hotland. It glows. Kinda hard to miss."
"Shut it," she said.
.
She stomped over to Alphys, picked up the dazzled little lizard, and gave her a kiss.
"Yo, I'mma use your shower, okay, babe?" She headed straight back towards the elevator. "Sheesh, I'm dyin' over here."
"U-U-Undyne, wait!" Alphys said.
"Don't worry, I know the melty guys, I'm sure we'll get along fine," Undyne said. "Be right back!"
Undyne disappeared and Alphys looked like she could just puddle right onto the floor. Sans tried not to laugh, but Frisk did no such thing.
"Ohh…" Alphys rubbed her face. "I… I sh-should go m-make sure sh-she finds it and-! Undyne, w-wait up!" She raced after her and all but fell into the elevator.
They heard Undyne guffaw before the sound of the door sliding shut.
"Hilarious," Sans said.
Frisk nodded and grinned. "I'm happy for them," she said, and she got to her feet. "I'm gonna go check for Papyrus."
.
She headed for the front door that was still ajar and, sure enough, saw Papyrus coming up the road. He waved at her. She was actually a little surprised to see that he wasn't in his battle outfit, but was instead still in the brown hoodie and slacks from earlier in the morning. She guessed Undyne must've rushed him straight to Waterfall. He was huffing a little when he got to her, but that certainly didn't stop him from dropping down to give her a hug.
"Greetings, little sister! Ooh! You must've missed me!" he said.
"Sure did! You have a good time?" she asked.
"Really fantastic! I've never been on official patrol before. It was very exciting. And I, being as great and cool as I am, have certainly made a good impression!" he said.
"Awesome, bro!" she said brightly. "Come in!"
"Ooh! Right. There was news? Exciting news?"
"Sans's exciting news," Frisk said brightly.
.
She pointed to Sans, who was just getting to his feet and stretching sleepily. Papyrus rolled his eyes and walked up to him and put his hands on his hips.
"Saaaans, were you even napping through your own exciting news?!" he demanded.
"Nah, bro, totally awake this time," he said.
"So what is it?"
"Okay, so. Alphys did a thing," Sans said.
"Yes?" Papyrus said.
"And she took a look at my soul and whatever."
"Yeess?"
"And all my energy stuff."
"Yeeeeesss?"
"Health ratings and all that."
"Yeeeeeeesssss?"
Sans smiled groggily and stretched again. Papyrus tapped his foot.
"So what is this exciting news?!" he demanded.
Sans held up two fingers. "Went up."
Papyrus stared for a moment. Started to gawk. "You mean…?!"
Sans nodded.
.
His brother grabbed him tight and lifted him right off his feet and into his arms. He was beaming "OH MY GOD."
"Pretty good, right?" Sans said.
"Oh my god, forget everything else, this is the best possible timeline," Papyrus said quickly. "This. Is. Amazing. BROTHER! Do you realize what this means?!"
"Uh… I'm slightly less of a mess?"
"No, Sans, you are still fully a mess. You're still by far the weakest of all monsters. I mean, even babies are probably less of a mess than you are. BUT! I will not have to worry about you every millisecond of the day, simply every other millisecond." He smiled bright and touched his brow to Sans's, and their eyes shone together, little, shimmering tears pooling at the edge of Papyrus's sockets. "I really am thrilled."
.
He gently let his brother's feet back on the ground and wiped his eyes on the back of his mitt. He took a deep breath, put his hands on his hips, and grinned brightly. "Yes. I, the great Papyrus, have decided. This is the best timeline."
"Oh yeah, you think so?" Frisk rolled up on Alphys's chair. "I thought it was the most confusing one."
"Not at all! It is fantastic! I get to be cool as always with a new little sister and do exciting future things, Undyne and Alphys get to smooch each other, you and Sans got to be a dragon, Sans gets to not be as horribly dismal and gets to have his magic actually starting to be functional and you, Frisk, you get to spend all your time with us! Your super cool, great big brother Papyrus and your not quite as big brother Sans. Good, right? I think it's very good. Best timeline. I have decided."
Frisk smiled. "When you put it that way…"
"Nyeh heh heh! I knew you'd agree!" he announced brightly.
.
They heard the elevator ding and Alphys stumbled back into the room, brushing what looked like crumbs from her coat.
"Those guys, I s-swear," she mumbled. "Oh! Hi, P-Papyrus!"
"Hello, Doctor!" he said brightly. "How goes?"
"Oh! It's… I-It's good! D-Did Sans tell you—?"
"Yes! Yes, it really is fantastic news!" he said.
Alphys smiled and nodded. Frisk poked Sans's arm.
"Oh right, I forgot, are you guys okay to go downstairs and help me look through old mystery books and stuff tomorrow?" she asked. "Alphys said there might be some old research down there that could help."
"Sounds exhausting," Sans said.
"I will be more than happy to help! You can always count on the great Papyrus!" He tapped on Sans's skull. "Come on, brother, you can't just leave Frisk hanging! She needs us!"
"I didn't say I wouldn't do it," Sans said.
"Thanks, guys," Frisk said brightly.
.
"O-Oh. Um… B-But, Frisk, what about…?" Alphys awkwardly pointed to Papyrus and then bit her lip. "He, um… He doesn't, uh…"
"Don't you worry about a thing, Alphys," Frisk said. "This is Papyrus we're talking about."
"Yes. I wish everyone were talking about Papyrus," Papyrus said.
Alphys looked a little nervous, but she nodded nonetheless. She took a deep breath. "Okay, so… s-so, that's good, I can keep working tomorrow and… Right. We're on our way. I think."
.
"Ooh! Right," Frisk said quickly, "Alphys, you haven't happened to see Asriel, right? On your cameras or anything?" The kid looked hopeful, but Alphys shook her head.
"I h-haven't noticed, why?" she asked.
"Oh… Never mind, that's okay," she said.
"W-Well, to be fair I wasn't looking as m-much as usual," Alphys said. "I, um, m-mostly set them up to watch f-for humans, and you're here now, s-so—"
"That's fine," Frisk said. "He's pretty small. No worries."
"Don't you worry, either, little sister, we'll get this done and save Asriel, no matter what!" Papyrus announced. "Right, Sans? …Sans?"
.
Sans had fallen asleep, leaning on Alphys's desk. Papyrus sighed dramatically and lifted him up. Frisk snickered and hopped off the chair and Papyrus gently put their brother down in it.
"Jeez, he s-still does that, huh?" Alphys smiled fondly. "He n-never changes."
"You're old friends, huh?" Frisk asked. "That's pretty nice. He really liked working with you."
Alphys blushed a little and smiled. "Y-Yeah. We… We had some good times here, I thought. Heh… I h-had such a crush on h-him for a bit."
"WHAT?! On my brother?!" Papyrus squawked.
"Is there anyone you haven't had a crush on?" Frisk joked.
"V-Very few," Alphys snickered. "Um… Y-You, um, won't t-tell him, will you?"
"He already knew," Frisk said.
"Oh god." Alphys laughed at herself and rubbed her forehead. "O-Of course."
"We're talking about the same skeleton here?" Papyrus looked baffled. "I just don't understand."
"Th-That's okay, Papyrus," Alphys said with a laugh. "Maybe when you're older."
.
Papyrus pouted. Alphys laughed and waved him over. He curiously came a little closer and she looked up at him with a big smile. She took his hands.
"S-Sorry, it's just…! Sometimes it's so s-surreal to see you again," she said.
"It is?" he asked. "Why?"
"It's, um… It's r-really good, you know?" she said. "Y-You were just a little guy when I s-saw you last. D-Do you remember when… um… s-sometimes I used t-to babysit you, when S-Sans would go do CORE research?"
"Ummm… I… Maybe?" Papyrus said. "That does sound awfully familiar now that you mention it."
"It's so weird seeing kids grow up," she said. "I'm r-really glad you're still doing p-puzzles, actually. You used to love those things."
"Hah, even as a tiny Papyrus you did puzzles?" Frisk asked.
"I absolutely did!" Papyrus said proudly. "Puzzles are in my bones!"
"Huh. I'm kinda jealous, I wish I knew what was in my bones, too," Frisk said.
"Also puzzles," Papyrus asserted. "And milkshakes."
Frisk laughed. Alphys gave her a confused look.
"You've never th-thought about it, Frisk?" she asked. "I mean… W-Well, um, th-that's okay, too, you're still p-pretty young, huh? But…"
Frisk shook her head. "Nope. A year ago it was just kinda, don't starve or freeze I guess? And now it's just this. I don't have a clue what's after. I just hope everyone's happy."
Alphys smiled sympathetically. Frisk was quickly lifted in blue and Sans sleepily sat her with him and held her close.
"Don't worry, kiddo," he said, "being traumatized every day won't be your whole life."
"That'll be weird," she joked.
.
The elevator made a ding and Undyne stepped out, rubbing her hair with a towel and lugging her armour under her arm. "Hey, dudes," she said.
Alphys's eyes went wide and her cheeks flushed. "H-H-Hi," she stammered.
Undyne grinned and smooched her on the head as she passed, and then dropped her armour onto the floor with a crash. She grabbed a chair and dragged it over to sit across from Sans.
.
"We gotta talk," she said.
"Wuh-oh, looks like someone's gotta bone to pick with you," Frisk said.
Sans grinned.
"Frisk no, Frisk why," Papyrus whined, plucking her from Sans. "Sans, you are a bad influence!"
Frisk snickered and Sans shrugged and turned his attention Undyne.
"What's up?" he asked.
"So I watched the video of our fight like, maybe two hundred times?"
"Sheesh, Undyne."
"Listen though!" she said. "I was studying your technique. You move like… Well, like you can see it ahead of time. Can you? Which I thought was kinda nuts but then I remembered it was you I was talkin' about, so…?"
"Hm. Well." He frowned a little. "In a way, kind of? It's sorta hard to explain."
"What, really?!" Alphys asked shrilly. "How long h-have you b-been able to d-do that?!"
"Dunno, since I was a kid, I guess," he said. "Paps can do it sometimes too. Right, bro?"
"Oh! Well, yes, if I'm particularly energized," he said. "I'll admit, it does make my skull hurt a little, though."
"Hmm…" Undyne covered Sans's left eye. "What if I did this?"
He shrugged.
"What about this?!" She covered both of his eyes.
"Well now I just can't see," he said.
.
She pulled back and folded her arms, ear-fins pinning back a bit. "I'm gonna figure you out," she said. "We need a rematch."
"I'm fallin' asleep just thinkin' about it," he said.
"I don't know, it might actually be good for you," Papyrus pointed out. "Seeing as—"
"Oh. Right," Sans said. "Probably thanks to you, actually."
"What is?" Undyne asked blankly.
"My health rating thing went up after our fight," he said. "One to two. Not a big deal or anything but—"
"WHOA. Whoa whoa whoa. You were at ONE?!" Undyne demanded. "And you LET ME FIGHT YOU?!"
He shrugged. She frowned deeply.
"Holy crap," she said, and she put a hand to her brow. "You had me beat before we even started."
Sans grinned. "Sorry."
She shook her head again. "No! No, that's fine." She started to laugh and thumped him affectionately on the shoulder. "It was still really good. I just gotta train even harder now!"
"Okay, s-seriously, though, S-Sans, why do you h-have all these super powers?!" Alphys asked.
"They're not super powers," he said. "It's just how my magic works. I told you forever that it was weird, Doc."
.
She was about to press him further, but there was a loud banging at the back of the lab very suddenly, making her jump. The door at the west end of the building flew open and Mettaton rolled in, twirled, and took on his humanoid form in a puff of smoke and glitter.
"Hello, darlings!" he announced. "I have faaaantastic news!"
"Oh, you fixed your ego modifiers?" Sans joked.
"What?! Pfft, no," he said. "What does that even…?! No." He glided over to join them, patting Alphys on the head as he moved by. "Soooo, guess what I did?" he said in a sing-song voice.
"You, uh, realized showbiz wasn't worth it and you deiced to take up professional knitting and write apology letters to everyone who watched Under Ground Hearts?" Sans suggested.
"What? No! What?! Sans, stop derailing!" Mettaton said.
"Oh, sorry you lost your train of thought."
"Oh my god. Okay. Okay, no, for one," he said. "I. Just. Took care of our little problem."
"Oh? What problem might that be?" Papyrus asked curiously.
"Asriel, darling! I took care of it," Mettaton stated proudly.