Hello! I can (un)officially tell you there are 7 chapters left. I know Paige is pretty AU in this (especially in this chapter), but I had to make her struggle with her feelings for Mike and her loyalty to her job.

I'm posting this chapter now because I don't know if I'll have time to post it later, my courses are starting again and my schedule is getting so much crazier right now. I edited this while I was writing a paper for uni, so I hope you don't mind my grammar horrors ("my" beta is in the process of reading it, so if you want to have a much better read I advise you check it out again later).

Speaking of grammar horrors, I wanna thank MaskedMan2 for supporting me and putting up with my obsession with GL for so long that she's finally grown into it :) - Check out her works, she's an awesome writer!- .

Thank you for all your PMs/reviews/follows/favs!

I hope you enjoy this & let me know what you think.

- xo, Mel

Angry, disappointed, embittered.

That was how Paige felt as she stomped up the stairs, where Mike had disappeared just a few moments before, leaving her at the bottom to process his words slowly. To try and understand the feelings that were now clouding her brain. If he thought she was going to feel defeated, he was damn wrong.

She slammed the door open with force, even though she was too aware of that little dim fear hidden under her self imposed bravado, as if she was expecting to see a monster behind that closed door.

Instead, all she could see was a broken stare and an empty soul: Mike barely looked at her when she burst into his room in a fury.

"You spent the night with her, didn't you?"

She kicked his door closed with her foot and crossed her arms over his chest, trying to mask that feeling of hurt creeping up under her skin and poking her heart like hundreds of knives. She watched as Mike threw his keys on his desk and kept his back facing her – he peeked over his shoulder for a quick moment, but the subtle glance he gave her wounded her pride more than any word would: was he really that disgusted by the sight of her that he couldn't even look at her?

"Get out," he said, his back still facing her as he disappeared into his bathroom.

Paige took a step further into his room, her eyes hard as ever.

"Did you sleep with her, Mike?" She repeated, ignoring his command, and felt what was left of her self control slip away from her body.

The thought of Jessica's pale arms wrapped around Mike's back, of his mouth on hers, of her legs tangled with his, of his hands skimming on her skin… it made her sick to her stomach.

He had slept with her.

There was no other explanation. How else would he have been able to fix things so soon and so easily, otherwise? Mike knew, and so did Paige, that Jessica was there for him.

She had no reason to stay in LA: they had shut down the corridor and she had gotten what she wanted. Wasn't that what DC had sent her there for, anyway? To take control over the whole thing?

No.

She was still there for him. She wasn't going away alone.

Lost in her thoughts, she hadn't even realized Mike was back in the room and standing at his desk again, looking down at his wrist to take off his watch.

"I'm not gonna say it again: get out of my room."

His words came out neat and in a very controlled manner. He had that business like attitude that she hated so much. That patient and calm side of him had kicked back in, and he wasn't going to fight her like he had the day before.

He wasn't going to make a scene and he wasn't going to say what he felt: he was shutting her out.

And she hated it.

Paige squeezed her fists.

It had taken all of her best efforts not to rush up to his room and scream at him until her throat hurt – of course, her entry had been quite dramatic, but she had been able to control herself and keep her voice relatively low. More than a whisper, but loud enough for him to take her seriously and understand that this wasn't okay.

She had made a mistake, no doubt, but she hadn't sacrificed their thing. The idea hadn't even crossed her mind – not then, not ever.

The fact that he had… it made her stomach churn in disgust.

When Mike saw she wouldn't give in and go away, he sighed and turned to get the door open himself, to push her out of his room.

Paige watched his stiff back with an increasing sense of annoyance: she had been able to hold it together until then; she only needed to stay calm and avoid yelling at his face.

That was the perfect time for them to clear whatever all of this was and move past it. Whether he wanted to or not, they were going to work this out once and for all, and they were going to do that now.

She was trying really hard not to let her natural instincts take over and attack him with her fists, but he was making it so damn hard for her.

That stupid calmness radiating from his body, as he passed by her, made her furious: just the night before, he had been on the verge of biting her head off; now he was acting like nothing had ever happened. Like everything was already lost and not worth fighting for.

Before he could even reach the handle, she had grasped his shoulder and dug her fingers painfully into his muscle: Mike froze in place, closing his eyes and breathing in deeply.

"Look at me!" She raised her voice. Watching his back tense even more, she lowered her hand. "Did you fuck her?"

Her question came out soft and shaky, as if she was afraid of what his answer would be.

Even though she knew.

But his reaction was nowhere near to the one she would have expected from him: his slumped shoulders shook with faint laughter and his hand laid on the surface of his door. Mike leaned over, supporting himself.

Paige watched him curiously at first but, at the sound of his words, her cheeks burned with red anger.

"Yes, Paige!" He raised his hands up, still not looking at her, his back facing her. "I screwed Jess until she screamed my name so loud that she could take no more! Is that what you want to hear?"

She held her breath: despite their relationship being made mostly of cruel jokes, uncountable fights and insults, they had never reached that point of no return. They had never even come close to doing or saying nasty things to each other.

At least, not until the night before.

Paige knew it had been mainly her fault, but she still couldn't believe that the Mike standing in front of her was the same Mike that had sworn nothing would have changed between them, no matter what.

That he would have always been by her side – on her side. No matter what.

Now, watching him in that pathetic state, hearing him say those things, admit he had slept with his boss, again… it was like receiving a stab at the center of her chest.

The blade penetrated deep into her flesh, deeper and deeper, until it reached her heart and she had to use all the scraps of self-control she had left in her body not to charge him like a bull.

Because that was exactly what she wanted to do, besides driving to Jessica's and give her a piece of her mind.

Instead, she bit the inside of her cheek and straightened her back. Her words came out calm and emotionless, something that didn't go unnoticed by Mike.

"Was she good, huh? Better than me, I bet – did she beg for you the way I don't, Mike? Because that's what you want, isn't it? A pretty doll that answers your beck and call. That lets you be in control. Is that what turns you on, Mike?"

Mike's jaw fell open.

He slowly turned around, sideways, furrowing his eyebrows. He met her gaze instantly and all he could see were big, hard eyes flashing back at him. He had expected for her to feel something by now - anything. But she wasn't. Or at least, she wasn't showing it.

He had always been able to read her body language so well, but now she was like an unknown book to him: her eyes unreadable and her voice heavy with venom and sarcasm, the only two things that gave him hope that Paige, the one he would give his life for, cared.

"You're unbelievable." Shaking his head, he reached once again to open his door and once again her words stopped him from doing so.

"Oh no, wait." She hissed. "I bet she's so much tighter, since she doesn't screw around like I do-"

"Don't you even dare." In one swift motion, Mike had turned her around and pushed her against the door.

He held her wrists into his hands and caged her under his body. Their faces were so close, yet they felt so distant at the same time.

Paige didn't move, but held his angry stare with pride: she had always been strong enough to face and defeat whatever obstacle got into her path. If Mike had come to be one of those, she would've fought him without further ado.

Screw that tingling feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Screw that burning desire of smashing her lips on his.

Screw that helpless need of breaking down into his arms.

"You don't get to come in here and judge me for what I did to save your ass, when all you care about is you and your girls!" His whispers started off as a nasty hiss and slowly grew into a harsh sneer.

"What did you do?" She stared deeply into his eyes, flicking hers back and forth over every inch of his blue colored irises. Somewhere in there lay the truth: no matter how good Mike had gotten with the lies, he was still incapable of faking with her and she knew it.

"I slept with her." Just like she knew now, as he insisted, reciprocating her firm, deep stare, that he was lying.

"I can't believe you did that."

Mike released her slowly, letting his arms drop at his sides and his tone turn into a loud scoff. He pushed himself off of her and distanced their bodies. The skin of his hands still burned from the contact with her wrists.

"You suggested I whore myself out to her so you could get your team back in the first place, remember?"

What Paige didn't get was why.

Why would he lie about it, now? Why would he put one more thing on the plate and push them further down the drain? Why did he do that? Was it to hurt her? Had he purposely made up that lie to make her feel guilty and hurt for having done what she had done? For getting her job - their job - done?

She couldn't believe Mike would do that. He was so much better than that.

So much better than her: that was something she could've done, not him. At least, not the Mike she knew.

"That was before-"

"Before what? Before you fooled me?"

Paige's heart sank. She looked at him dead in the eye: the man before her eyes definitely wasn't Mike. Mike would've never implied what she thought he was implying: Mike would never doubt her.

"I didn't fool you!" She exclaimed, taking a step further.

Mike mimicked her.

"You used what we had at your own benefit. You make me believe I can trust you, then you go behind my back and risk everything. My cover, the case - your life. You lied to me."

"I didn't fool you." She repeated, avoiding his eyes, this time.

He wasn't going to make her regret her choices. He wasn't going to play with her head and make her feel sorry for saving the OP.

"Everything was a lie!" The FBI agent's words boomed out and echoed into the silent room. He rubbed a hand over his face. "I thought we were building something here - together. I really thought that we had something, that we were going somewhere with it, but clearly that was just me reading too much into it. As always."

At some point, his voice broke and Paige fought the urge of reaching out to lay her hand on his cheek. For some reason, she thought he was going to break down in front of her and cry his eyes out.

The thought had soon left her mind when she had caught the undeniable sense of his words: 'you used me'.

"Is that what you think?" She said in a dead tone.

Mike cast a long look at her. If Paige's voice didn't show any sign of emotion, it meant she was about to explode. It meant she was keeping everything inside.

It meant he was in deep shit.

But he didn't care: if they were up to this point, it was because of her and her stupid, reckless behavior.

"I don't know what to think anymore. It's all lies."

"I can't fake my feelings with the important people in my life. Maybe you can, but I can't."

He wasn't going to win this. She wasn't going to let him wield any kind of effect on her.

"Don't turn this on me - I never faked with you." He pointed an accusing finger at her face, taking a step back. By that point, however, Paige couldn't even find the force in her to say his name without feeling the guilt eating the inside of her stomach at the sound of his voice full of hidden pain. "I was so deep into it that I turned blind and didn't see what you were doing. I trusted you."

"I never faked either - I care enormously about you, Mike."

"Yeah, right. Is that why you betrayed me?"

"I didn't betray you!"

This was stupid, beyond every level. Mike might have thought he knew her so well, but he had no idea who he was messing with: who the hell did he think he was to tell her how to feel and what to feel? To judge her actions and jump to conclusions without even hearing what she had to say?

"You betrayed my trust! You could've chosen to tell me the truth, but instead of coming to me, you turned to Bates - all that bullshit about how I had to trust you, when it was you who didn't trust me."

She wanted to scream. As he shortened their distance and stood right in her face, Paige felt the entire room spinning around them with the only firm point being him.

His eyes were full of hurt and… what was that, regret? That was absurd. She knew what he was trying to do: he was trying to punish her by showing right in front of her eyes how miserable she had made them. But it wasn't gonna work.

Crossing her arms, she raised an eyebrow at him and was about to retort, when he literally crumbled before his eyes.

"You knew I would've forgiven you if you had told me. You knew I would have done everything for you, Paige."

His voice was crackly. There was nothing in the entire universe that could piss her off more than when he put that impenetrable mask of ice on his face. It drove her mad. However, it was now killing her, despite her best efforts of trying to convince herself it wasn't her fault.

That he was simply acting like a whiny, needy big baby.

"But you chose to lie. Is that how much you care about me, huh? How little you trust me?"

An annoying, bittersweet tingle spread into her belly. 'No remorse, you did nothing wrong' she told herself. But his empty, almost pleading eyes made her doubt her own thoughts.

"I trust you-" Mike snarled, cutting her off. The blonde agent's eyes turned into narrow, irritated slits at the abrubt interruption. "Drop that fucking attitude, Mike."

"Attitude?!" He turned to her, astonished. Was she really blaming him, now?

"Yeah!"

"You lied to me!"

"I was protecting you!"

"I don't need protecting, I need you!"

His shouted words showered her like poisonous spores, depriving her of all her certainties.

Mike was broken and baring himself to her. Right there. He was holding out his torn heart in his hand and, no matter how hard she tried to fight it or deny it to herself, it matched her own cracking one.

Somehow, he had breached her walls and found his way into her inner being, shaking her to the core.

Upsetting her.

He was clenching his fists so tight that he almost drew blood from where his nails dug into his palms. His stormy, watery eyes spurted tongues of fire, hot tears burning and threatening to fall.

Every bit of strength and that stiff-upper-lip stuff she was known for disappeared from her body and all she could feel now was… defeat. Just what she had promised she wouldn't allow herself to feel.

"I should've listened to Briggs, he warned me. He told me not to mix everything up, to choose between my life and the case. I just didn't think it'd end up like this. I'm so stupid."

It seemed that she was no longer wearing a camouflage: she found herself helpless, naked and vulnerable. In what world had she ever felt like that? None. Except this one, Mike's world, where she had damaged a thin thread that she wasn't sure she would be able to mend, now.

"You always have a choice to make, no matter how difficult it is." Paige murmured, as a strange dullness fell upon them.

She watched him drop on the edge of his bed, his elbows resting on his knees; his head low.

"You'd think I of all people would know."

"This entire operation is destroying us."

At the sound of her words, Mike looked back up at her and his voice cracked again. The tears in his eyes were slowly drying off and she knew, that no matter how tough and unbending he was trying to be, all those feelings he was holding back were tearing him apart inside.

"Don't ask me to choose between you and my job when I wouldn't be your choice if it were the other way around."

Their eyes locked painfully. Paige could feel his torment reaching her through his blue gaze.

She had thought he was just overreacting, but now… Mike hadn't been the one who had given up; she had given up by choosing to salvage and protect her girls on her own, instead of fighting at his side.

As harsh as it sounded and as painful as it was to admit, she knew he was right: if she were to be presented with a choice, she wouldn't hesitate to choose her job over him.

Even if it meant hurting him in the process. 'And yourself'.

"I did it for you." She nodded, understandingly: she had hurt him. So bad. "But you're so sanctimonious and self-absorbed that you can't see that."

Nevertheless, all she could do now to save what was left of them was to avoid it - the excruciating need of making everything alright - and to stop her emotions from completely clouding her mind.

"I can't do this right now. I… I think I actually need to be alone right now - get some space." Mike shook his head.

"From me."

"From us." He corrected. "Time to reflect…"

Paige rolled her eyes. There he went with what she knew was coming. She waved away every stupid, brief thought of apologizing like a buzzing fly: she wasn't one to say sorry, but if it meant getting things back to the way they were with him, she could've given it a try. But now? Screw that.

If he wasn't man enough to break up with her, she wasn't going to humiliate herself and ask for forgiveness.

"Oh, don't give me that crap, Mike! If you wanna end things, just freaking say so. Grow some balls and say it in my face, for fuck's sake. I'm a big girl; I won't lock myself in my room and cry my eyes out for you, I can take this 'huge' hit!"

"Yeah, well, maybe I can't! 'Cause I believed in this!" Mike sprang to his feet as she stomped towards him: once again, they found themselves so close and so distant at the same time. He stared deeply into her eyes for a few seconds, before brushing past her with a muttered self induced flagellation. "More than you did - if you ever did."

Now that he had said it out loud, he could finally get rid of that nauseous knot into the pit of his stomach.

"So what, we're gonna be like this forever?" Paige followed him with her eyes.

Mike leaned on the wall, looking anywhere but at her.

"I have to focus on the case and do what's best for the OP."

"You don't trust me."

"I can't trust you." He flipped his eyes back to hers and it was her turn now to feel breathless. The force of his statement crushed her. "Point is, I do. That's the problem. You're still the one person I trust the most, even though I shouldn't be able to. Not after what's happened with Sulla. Jess-" Mike's explanation sounded like a forbidden love confession and it would've struck Paige, had it not been for that name escaping from his lips.

She squeezed her eyes, anger filling up her body at the mention of AD Foster. "All I did was helping you getting my girls out."

"I'm not a child, I don't need you to take care of me - I know how to do my job."

"Yeah, you know exactly how to fail."

The words came out of her mouth before she could even bite them back. When she saw the last, powerful flash of hurt shadowing his face, she knew for sure that their relationship had reached the breaking point: there was no going back now; everything was going into oblivion.

His body stiffened in shock and he let his shoulders hit the wall. He stared at her straight in the eye, as if pondering his options. But his eyes were fixed intensely on hers and that was the worst punishment of all: quivering under his chilling look of humiliation.

"You did not just say that."

Deep down, Mike felt himself sinking: everything he felt for her seemed to shatter inside of him and he couldn't do anything to stop it.

"I didn't mean-" Her words died in her throat as he leant his head back on the wall, eyes closed, and a bitter smile took over his whole face.

Paige bit her lip for a moment, but then something seemed to trigger in her like a spring: maybe it was better this way. Maybe they would be better off apart, yet together in their loneliness. What was the point in wanting something so useless and weak as a relationship, anyway? What had happened with Sulla had just proved how wrong this whole thing was.

'Or how wrong you want it to be: you're just afraid, P.'

She shuddered. Her conscience wasn't going to take the best of her now. It wasn't going to stop her from looking at the bright side and throw away all of her efforts: her girls needed to be freed, no matter how horrible it felt to lose Mike like that, to rack his brains and heart like that.

"Look, I simply made sure you didn't get lost again. I'm not going to apologize for saving your career and the OP, Mike. Face it."

Finally, when their eyes met again, Paige found herself unable to fight that battle. Those liquid, now glacial eyes melted her heart.

"Do you think I give a crap about that? The case's so important to me, but it doesn't come even close to what you mean to me. That stupid thing you did? I forgive you. The lies - those, I can't forgive."

Bits and scarlet scraps of her heart slowly peeled off and landed at her feet, laying in a carpet of broken shards.

It was obvious that Mike had given up and laid all of his cards on the table: he had expressed his feelings to her in an indirect way, but Paige had felt the force of each one of them biting through her skin and holing her soul.

Other than that one time when he had finally made a move, after the bus station disaster, they had never talked about his feelings for her. Even though he proved them to her everyday, through gestures, small daily actions and passionate, stolen glances.

But she had always been too afraid. Truth was that those kind of feelings were so new, so big and intense and they scared her. Because she and Mike were two opposites, two minds that thought nothing alike, yet matched in perfect and disastrous ways.

"That's it, then?" She whispered, eyes welling up. "It's over?"

As incredible as it felt, she found herself holding back angry tears. Luckily, Mike's wasn't looking at her and had find comfort in staring at his feet. However, she was sure that if he looked up, his blue eyes would match the sorrow in hers.

Taking a trembling breath, Paige felt her pride hole up in a dark place, against her will.

Her body felt tired and ached with exhaustion when his answer plunged one more dagger through her.

"I wish it was. Everything would be so much easier."

Nodding, she finally gave up: she brushed past him, avoiding his eyes and the image of his retrieving form, and went for the door.

A thought flashed through her mind and her hand stilled mid air. Turning her face to the side, she addressed him; his lean, black shadow appeared steady at the corner of her eyes.

"You didn't have sex with her, did you?"

Clothes had been shed off and left forgotten on the floor not long before the bed creaked and the two rolled over, Mike falling back on top. He dug his fingers into her hips and tried his best to fight back the image of Paige's disapproving eyes from his mind.

Sensing his hesitation, Jessica pushed back on his chest and pulled his head back up to eye level.

"What's wrong?"

Mike sighed, avoiding her eyes. "Those two - I need them back. I can't afford to lose people."

A moment of silence followed, before she mimicked him and heaved a sigh of her own. His lips trailed down her throat and made their own path down her chest, clouding her senses.

"They're on night duty 'till the end of the OP. No more free days, no more special favors or treatments." She tugged at his back hair to grab his attention and make sure he marked her words right. "And she's off tacticals. Zelanski and Torres will take over."

When Mike nodded and skimmed his warm hands over her thighs, she run her fingers through his hair. His body went on full alert and he took a hold of her arm, stilling her movements: there was only one person who could do that and make him tremble and, unfortunately, that person had bright, cheery green eyes.

"You'll get all the credit. You did what you set out to do. You shut down the corridor."

"Good." He dismissed her.

Jessica wrapped her legs around his and pushed him onto his back. She straddled his lap and made her way down his body. Mike squeezed his eyes.

Her chapped lips felt so much different from Paige's tender and sensual ones; her short nails didn't make him shiver like Paige's pointy ones did when they scratched down his chest; her body, pressed up against his, didn't make him feel the same things Paige's did.

Jessica stilled on top of him.

"I'm sorry. I-"

The sheet slid down her pale back, as his voice cracked and he threw his head back to stare at the ceiling. His hands fell at his side, helplessly: he couldn't do it, he just couldn't. Not when, despite how bad he wanted to be mad at her, Paige was the only thing on his mind. The only one he wished to be with in that moment.

"Why are you here, Mike?" Jessica furrowed her eyebrows and examined his face. She took in the tired creases of his skin, the tight line of his clenched jaw, his hollow eyes.

Touching his chest, she laid her hand on his heart and her words shot jolts of electricity through his soul, dithering him like a earthquake.

"You care about her. That's why you're here."

"No - no, I didn't. I couldn't. But I tried."

"You tried."

"I kissed her, she kissed me back. We got into bed."

"And?"

"And I ended up driving around, aimlessly, all night long."

"Why didn't she go through with it?"

Paige was sure that Mike - he cared about her more than he cared about himself. It was almost safe to say that Mike loved her sincerely.

But she wasn't able to give him that; she wasn't able to reciprocate that feeling that had swallowed him up in a black hole. Just looking at him suffering was enough to remind her why she had erased that feeling from her life.

She was still too afraid to let herself go. There was too much selfishness inside of her to rely totally onto another person.

Even if that person was ready to drop everything for her.

Jessica brushed her lips over his. The dry skin of her palm glided over his stubbled cheek almost in a motherly manner, as she looked down at him. He leant into her touch, resignedly.

"I'm no quick fix, Mike."

Even if that person was putting his skin on the table, like an emotional bloodletting.

"Because she knew that my heart was somewhere else."

Mike closed the space between them. They stared into each other's eyes until he reached up to brush a strand of golden hair out of her face, Paige's eyes drifting closed when he started leaning in.

His lips were mere inches away when she drowned in the coldness of his voice.

"I got lost 'cause I should've kept screwing Jess, instead."

Even if that person was Mike.

A slap.

The tanned, cold skin of her hand collided with the white warmness of his cheek: his tone hadn't been particularly harsh or aggressive, but it had hurt nonetheless due to the hardness of his statement.

His blue eyes met her green ones and for the first time that day he took into the glistening moisture clinging to her long lashes.

Paige fled from his room like a storm. The way she abruptly slammed his door closed, so hard it almost fell off its edges, gave him the safety he needed to finally put his feelings on hold.

Mike hesitantly touched with his right hand the spot where the pain from her hard hit stung: it was red and hot.

Deep down, he knew he had deserved that slap.

Mike had hurt her on purpose, both for his professional and personal benefit.

He had a job to finish, a case to end, a cartel to bring down. The rest didn't matter.

If their relationship was bound to survive this - if they were bound to survive this, which he doubted - they would pick things up from where they'd just left them when everything would finally be over.

Until then… he'd stall on dreaming her eyes at night and hating her smile in daylight.

Mike's fingers touched lightly her swollen, bruised lips and bore his eyes into hers into a silent apology; Jessica held his wrist, lowering his hand, and smiled delicately at him - her hair tousled from the eagerness of his fingers, as she held onto her door.

"I can see it in your eyes."