Chris gave his signature 'I'm-better-than-you' grin and walked casually to the center of the camera's view.
"Yup, it's me again!" He announced. "We couldn't do lame slapstick kickers for every intro after all…anyways, last time on Total! Drama! Island! Once again, we visited the Playa de Losers to check on the bitter, bitter, losers. Well…not so bitter, actually. They were pretty happy to be off this place. When it came time for the contestant elimination, they finally were able to kick of Laura, despite the fact that she was the most entertaining contestant on that show," he grumbled, crossing his arms.
"Now, it's down to the final four! Who will win? Will it be the sarcastic and caring Ashlynn? The optimistic and goofy Doe? The crazy and lovable Effie? Or the shy and kind Kenny? We're nearing the end! Find out who makes it to the semifinals on the most dramatic campfire ceremony EVER…on Total…Drama…Island!"
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For the first time in a long time, the four remaining were actually in a good mood when they woke up in the morning.
And that was saying something.
It was pretty obvious the change in mood was due to Laura's leave on Camp Wawanakwa. Ashlynn, Doe, and Effie could now openly talk to each other at night without worrying about the queen bee's snide jibes ruining it.
Ashlynn was the last to wake up in her cabin in the morning—Effie and Doe were already gone. Blinking her eyes to adjust to the light, Ashlynn wondered where they had gone off to.
"On second thought…" she mumbled to herself, climbing out of her bunk. "It's probably better not to ask." The brunette got dressed quickly, and headed out the door towards the mess hall in fear of how late she might be.
When she got in there, the only other camper in there as well was Kenny, who was still staring fearfully at the plate of 'food' in front of him. Chef was glaring at him from behind, expectantly waiting for the poor wallflower to eat it.
"Well?" questioned Chef, cracking his knuckles. "Is it not good enough for ya?!"
"N…no!" Kenny stammered, his face turning red. He threw a desperate glance to Ashlynn, who just watched the whole scene with slight amusement.
"He's just waiting for Doe and Effie, isn't that right?" Ashlynn pitched in, throwing Kenny a bone (not…literally…). "It wouldn't be fair for him to eat before they get to." Chef eyed the two suspiciously, and then stomped back to his kitchen, muttering to himself.
Kenny let out a huge sigh of relief.
"Thanks," he muttered, poking the unidentifiable goop in front of him. Ashlynn was pretty sure she heard the thing hiss. She grimaced sympathetically, and slid into the seat in front of Kenny.
"You owe me one," she said, grinning.
"Fair enough," Kenny replied. "So, how'd you sleep?"
"Better than ever," Ashlynn sighed happily. "I'm just so glad Laura's gone. This place already seems ten times happier."
"But no less scary," Kenny laughed. "It's the final four now. Who knows what kind of sick twisted challenge we'll have to do?"
"At least there's peace and quiet…" murmured Ashlynn.
"Effie's still here," Kenny pointed out.
"Peace then, if not the quiet," Ashlynn corrected herself. "Where are those two, anyways?"
"I thought you would know," Kenny mused. "You're bunking with them, after all."
"Yeah, but they were gone when I woke up," Ashlynn replied. "They could be anywhere by now. Those two are as crazy as a fox in a hen house."
Kenny raised an eyebrow at the odd Southern-style simile.
"Oh bloody hell," Ashlynn muttered, slapping her forehead. "Please tell me I did not just say that."
"You kind of did," Kenny snickered. "Okay, I have to admit…I think I felt my own IQ points drop a few when you said that." Ashlynn stubbornly crossed her arms and glared at the boy in front of her.
"You know I could beat the crap out of you if you insulted me again, right?" She threatened. Kenny, embarrassed, turned red and smiled sheepishly.
"I'm sure I would be able to get a few slaps in…" he mumbled. Ashlynn rolled her eyes, but chuckled.
Confession Cam: Would PWN in a slap fight.
"Kenny's pretty nice," Ashlynn admitted. "But I feel guilty, because I feel like I'm only trying to be friends with him since he's friends with Raphael." She paused, and then tapped her chin. "Huh, I wonder…who would win in a slap fight…Kenny or Raphael?"
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"Greetings, campers!" Chris hummed, striding into the mess hall.
"You really need to have a new greeting," Kenny remarked. "That one is getting pretty old. You could say something like, 'Howdy, final four!'"
"Howdy final four?" Ashlynn repeated, stifling a laugh.
"Final four…" Chris echoed. "Yeah. Uh…where's the other final two in the final four?"
"Good question," said Kenny.
"That didn't answer the question," Chris objected.
"At least you now know it was a good question," Ashlynn said blankly. Chris narrowed his eyes.
"Okay, seriously, where is Doe and Ef--"
"ALL ABOARD!" The two said girls screamed in unison from outside. They marched in the doors, dancing and parading down the aisle of the mess hall.
"The love train!" Doe added, her eyes sparkling.
"That disco ball wasn't there five seconds ago…" Ashlynn noted, referring to the bright spinning globe that was now somehow hanging from the ceiling.
"Neither was the cheesy music…" Kenny added, glancing around in confusion.
"Ya like it?" Effie asked, jumping on the tabletop and facing Kenny and Ashlynn. "We spent like, three hours for this kind of entrance!"
"What's all this for?" Ashlynn asked. "Is it all because of Laura getting the boot?"
"You bet!" Doe chirped, plopping herself next to Ashlynn. "She was such a downer! Now we can par-tay!"
"Funny you should say that," chuckled Chris. "Because actually…there is a party that's going to happen tonight for today's challenge."
"What's the catch?" Kenny asked suspiciously.
"Well…the party isn't for you," Chris continued. The campers exchanged glances, annoyed at Chris's deliberate long pauses for an attempt at drama. Time passed on.
"Who's it for then?" Ashlynn inquired impatiently as she tapped her foot on the floor. "You? Chef? Campers from last year? That creepy bear that seems to follow us everywhere? The psycho killer with a chainsaw and a hook that speaks in an unusually high pitched voice? Tell us!"
"Tonight, you final four, there's going to be a party…for all of this seasons ousted campers!"
"Alright!" Effie exclaimed, punching a fist in the air. "Charlie's Angels are gonna be back and ready to roll!"
"And I get to see Kevin again!" Doe cackled. "I heard he wants to take me on at an arm-wrestling match now…"
"You can take him," Kenny laughed, smiling.
"Got that right," Doe agreed, flashing the wallflower a grin.
"So, the challenge is laced somewhere in the party, right Chris?" Ashlynn guessed. She frowned, and rubbed the back of her neck in confusion. "I'm having trouble imagining what sort of challenge a party could be."
"You've been here this long Ashlynn," Chris remarked. He smirked. "You should know by now how twisted we are…"
"Was that supposed to scare me?" Ashlynn asked, an eyebrow raised.
"Well, um, yeah. Sort of."
Ashlynn clicked her tongue.
"It didn't work."
"I figured," Chris sighed. "All sarcasm aside, let's head outdoors shall we?"
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Chris led the final four to the back of the mess hall. Where the large open area of grass once was, there was now everything a teen could imagine for a party—video games, a stage with karaoke machines, a dunking tank, and even…
"REAL FOOD!" Effie, Doe, Kenny, and Ashlynn screamed delightedly in unison, trying to take a running start towards the snacks laid out on tables.
"Not so fast…" Chris grumbled, somehow grabbing all four contestants' collars with one hand and rubbing his now very sore ears with the other. "Like I said, they're not for you." Doe huffed, and narrowed her brown eyes at the host, struggling to break free.
"Oh come on!" she whined. "If this challenge is just throwing a party for everyone who's been kicked off here, why can't we share in the fun?"
"Because, my misguided young camper," Chris explained. "You four are like the leaders of the whole party!"
"We're babysitting these guys for the challenge?" Ashlynn questioned in disbelief.
"Not babysitting…more like, protecting."
"From what?" Effie asked excitedly. "The RCMP? Those guys are pretty evil, after all…and they'll never--"
"Get you alive," Kenny finished for her.
"Exactly!" Effie crooned. "Man Kenny, how'd you know that? Are you a mind reader?" Kenny rolled his eyes.
"Here's the deal," Chris continued, ignoring the insane redhead. "Those eighteen campers will be arriving here later tonight. One of those campers is going to 'crash' the party, per say. Don't be surprised if things blow up, bears get set loose, and all hell breaks loose."
"You basically assigned someone to screw everything up," Ashlynn deducted, her jaw opening slightly.
"Yup!"
"So you're getting someone to do what you usually do," Doe giggled. "Losing your touch, McClain?" Chris, unfazed by the insult, just shook his head and grinned.
"Not exactly. Maybe I didn't phrase this well enough. You guys have to find the party crasher before he, or she, screws everything up. None of the partygoers know about the party crasher, save for the party crasher his or herself, and you're not allowed to tell anyone either. And you can't just walk up and ask them if they're the crasher. First one to find the guilty culprit wins invincibility. And…the voting will have a little…twist. Of course, I can't tell you what it is."
"Of course," Ashlynn echoed, rolling her eyes. "Won't it be obvious to see who's lighting stuff on fire, or spiking the punch, or whatever crap you have in mind?"
"Nope. The crasher shall be sneaky! Very sneaky!"
Confession Cam: Are we rigged to explode? Hopefully not.
"My money's on Laura being the party-crasher," Ashlynn announced. "After all, she is the queen of sneaky. And…the queen of mean, the queen of backstabbing, the queen of self-centeredness, the queen of narcissism…I could go on all day."
Bzzzzzt. Or something to that effect.
"Sneaky…" repeated Doe. She placed her hands on her hips. "I'm watching you, Riley!"
Staaaaaaatic.
"Izzy totally is capable of crashing a party!" Effie proclaimed. "I mean, we've ruined parties tons of times before! Heh…I never did see that guy's ceiling again…" She paused. "Oh wait, are we talking about this year's contestants? Huh. Well, none of them really match up to the awesomeness of my sister…"
(Insert sound effect of your choice here.)
"It's going to be someone we don't expect," Kenny said plainly. "Heck, it always is in the movies."
"This ain't yo movies!" Chef hollered from outside the confession cam. "Do you see any cameras in here, boy?!"
"Uh…yeah…" Kenny replied awkwardly, scratching his head and tapping the camera right in front of him.
"Oh…right. Carry on then!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"So, when's the party?" Doe asked excitedly as Chris finally released his grip on the teens.
"A couple hours!" Chris announced. "Until then…step away from the--"
Ignoring him, the four teens plowed through the host all the way to the food in a somewhat comical yet mostly frightening fashion.
"Aw man!" Chris groaned. "Now we're gonna need more food. I can always dock the cost out of Chef's pay…"
"You're gonna what now?" Chef growled, suddenly appearing next to Chris.
"Whoa!" Chris shouted, jumping in the air from surprise. "Yeah…you weren't exactly supposed to hear that."
"Some solution that was," Chef muttered sarcastically. "I don't even get paid."
"Well then, I guess you'll just owe me money then, hm?" Chris concluded, clapping his hands together.
Chef smacked the host on the head, sending him straight to the ground.
"Ow…okay…jokes in poor taste get me knocked in the head…I'll keep that in mind," groaned Chris.
"That's a good host," Chef chuckled, deliberately stepping on Chris as he walked over to divert the campers away from the food before they ended up throwing up all over the place. He had enough of that in season one.
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The final four walked towards the dock, awaiting their guests for the evening, and multitasking by wondering how screwed up this 'party' was going to be.
"So…seeing the losers again," Chris remarked, appearing besides the campers much to their annoyance. "How does it feel?"
"Good for the most part," Doe laughed. "It's gonna be fun seeing everybody again."
"Save for Laura?" Effie guessed.
"Save for Laura," Doe sighed. "You had to bring her back somehow, didn't you Chris?"
"I love loopholes," Chris said in a singsong voice. "We were gonna delay their return till the semifinals, but I figured, why wait?"
"Yes, why delay our misfortune?" Ashlynn chuckled, shaking her head with a grin. Despite the sarcasm, Ashlynn was definitely in a good mood.
"Excited to see Raphael?" Kenny teased, elbowing his brunette friend.
"I suppose I am," Ashlynn replied. She winked at Kenny. "And I suppose you're excited to see Leti as well."
"Aw man!" Effie groaned, stomping her foot. "I'm gonna be the only final four not making out with somebody!" This proclamation earned the redhead a collection of face-slapping, blushing, and the inevitable awkward silence.
"That might just help you win invincibility," Doe chimed in after some time, thankfully turning the conversation to something important—the challenge itself. "Hey Chris, do we have to have to have evidence of the party crasher, or can we just tell everyone who we think it is?"
"You have to catch them in the act," Chris replied. "And have some of the ousted campers witness it. Don't forget, the losers don't know about the crasher, save for the actual crasher, and you CAN'T tell them that the party's gonna go hell in a hand basket!"
Confession Cam: Debating which person to laugh at.
"What is with the similes and weird sayings today?" Kenny asked, his hands thrown up in the air. "I barely understand half the things these people say anymore!"
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"Hold on a second," Ashlynn objected. "So, you expect these guys to believe that you're just throwing a party for them?! You practically, okay scratch that, you did torture them for the past couple weeks! You think they're gonna fall for it that easily?" Chris tapped his chin.
"Pretty much," he said after a few seconds.
"Chris, this is the most half-assed plan you've ever had since--" Ashlynn was interrupted when the Boat of Losers finally pulled up to Camp Wawanakwa and a familiar Hispanic beauty was the first to leap off.
"Party!" She cheered, wringing her hands in excitement and immediately tackling Kenny with joy upon sight. "This is gonna be awesome!" Chris glanced towards Ashlynn, obviously smug.
"Oh come on," Ashlynn snickered, crossing her arms. "You fooled Leti. Leti."
"Hey everybody! Who's ready to have a rocking night?" Kevin was next off, and with that, he sprinted towards Doe and spun her around in a hug that soon lead to a kiss. Chris grinned at Ashlynn, even smugger than before. She just rolled her eyes, but smiled as she saw all the other ex-contestants clamber off the boat towards them as well.
"Hey…where's Laura?" Effie asked, squinting as she stared at seventeen of the supposed-to-be eighteen loser contestants.
"Oh God!" Doe wailed, burying her head in her hands. "Someone actually killed her!"
"Don't tempt us," Rosetta remarked, smirking. "She just refused to get on the same boat we did."
"Why am I not surprised…?" Kenny mused.
"And…ladies and gentlemen, the creature from the black lagoon," Jade sighed, nodding towards the boat that now carried one single passenger.
"I was gonna say that," Riley complained. Jade shrugged.
"Too slow, man. Gotta go for the less obvious jokes."
"You had to drag me back here?!" Laura shrieked, stomping over to the other contestants who were all not quite so thrilled upon seeing their common enemy. "I hate this place!"
"Yeah…" Hunter groaned. "We know. You told us."
"How many times?" Alice wondered.
"That last one makes it…forty-two," Rachel announced. "Of course, we started counting a few minutes ago."
"Isn't forty-two the meaning of life?" Thomas mused.
"And the universe," Satine added.
"And everything," Joel finished. He slapped his forehead. "Why the hell do I know that?"
"Because inside you're a big cuddly and somewhat nerdy teddy bear?" Alice giggled, slinking up to her sort-of-boyfriend-but-possibly-just-a-make-out-partner.
"As if," grumbled the more irritated of the twins.
"Aw…he's like Duncan, only stupider!" Charity chuckled. Joel gave Charity a 'what-the-hell?' face and narrowed his eyes.
"Dude! I'm standing right here!" he growled. "And Leo's the stupid one!"
"I have feelings too…" Leo sniffled. Allister patted his shoulder comfortingly.
"Alright then!" Chris interrupted, snapping his fingers for the campers' attention. "Let's get this party started! Right this way, behind the mess hall!"
The host shot one wicked grin towards the still-in campers, and proceeded to direct the others to the back.
"Here we go," Kenny sighed, jogging ahead towards Leti and the others.
"Sweet!" Effie giggled, as she and Doe high-fived each other. "I'm gonna bag me a live one!"
"I don't think that's the right phrase to use…" Doe remarked. The two friends ran up as well.
Ashlynn began walking up too, but stopped when she saw Raphael sprawled on the ground.
"Yikes! What happened to you?" Ashlynn asked, kneeling over to help the awkward one up.
"Not…really sure…" Raphael mumbled, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. He glanced down at his feet. "Oh. I forgot to tie my shoelaces. That's much more relieving than having to face the incident I was expecting."
"What were you expecting?" Ashlynn questioned, an eyebrow raised.
"…dodge balls…" Raphael sighed.
"Of course," Ashlynn laughed. She smiled. "I really missed you Raphael. Camp hasn't been the same without your…your…"
"Bright and positive outlook on life?" Raphael guessed, sarcastic but grinning all the same.
"Right," Ashlynn chuckled. "Listen, I can't talk long because I have to--" remembering Chris's rule, she stopped herself short from telling Raphael what he wasn't supposed to know (unless of course, he was the crasher himself). "I have to…do…something important," she finished. She grinned and quickly kissed Raphael on the lips.
"Love you!" She called out, before jogging ahead and disappearing behind the mass of the mess hall. Raphael would've replied, but well…he fainted. Again.
Confession Cam: And the gags keep runnin', runnin' and runnin', runnin' and runnin', runnin'…
The camera focused on Raphael, who spoke between head-bangs on the side of the confession cam.
"WHY--" Bang. "DOES--" Bang. "THAT--" Bang. "KEEP--" Bang. "HAPPENING--" Bang. "TO--" Bang. "ME?!" Bang, bang, bang. "Must I faint every single time I get kissed?! Argh!" Bang, bang, bang.
With enough 'bangs' to make a drum solo, the camera thankfully switched out of the confession cam back to the real show.
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"Wow…" Charity marveled once the gang reached the party area. "This party is actually--"
"Nice?" Allister interrupted, laughing. "I'm as surprised as you are. There's gotta be a catch."
"Nope!" Chris said innocently. "We're just having a short hiatus on challenges. Not every episode can be packed full of drama and injury, y'know. We figured we might as well bring back you guys too for a short, humorous episode."
Confession Cam: Master of lies, disguise, and the occasional quesadilla. Wait…what?
"That was actually a good cover-up," Doe remarked, mildly surprised. "Of course, it's Chris…whose lies are numbered in thousands…or millions…or probably in numbers uncountable…"
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"Well…" Warren said, after some time. "Do we just…go…do stuff now?"
"Duh," Chris said, rolling his eyes. "I take it you've never been invited to a party?"
"Of course I have!" Warren objected, flushing from embarrassment.
"Whatever you say," Chris chuckled slyly. "Anyways, Chef—turn up the tunes, and let's get this party started!"
Chef did as he was told, clicking the stereo on for some hip-hop dance tune no one really recognized. After much effort, a couple of the teens forced Laura into the dunking tank, grabbing the tennis balls for it with evil grins. A few others went over to the video games, some snacked out, and some started dancing on the stage.
Meanwhile, the actual final four campers stationed themselves around the party, looking over everything with eyes like…like…like something that's not a hawk, because I refuse to make that oh-so cliché simile.
At least an hour passed, but no sign of danger came to arouse the party.
"Was Chris just fooling us?" Ashlynn asked Kenny as she walked over to the wallflower by the snack table. "This is getting kind of boring."
"Yeah," Kenny agreed, frowning. "How long does he expect us to wait? Oh well, might as well enjoy the party." He leaned back as saying so, and immediately the table he was leaning on collapsed from underneath him, sending him falling onto the table face-first into some guacamole.
"Oh that's just rich," Kenny muttered. "Anyone got a napkin?" Ashlynn stifled a laugh.
"Oh my gosh! Kenny!" Leti yelped, immediately sprinting towards her boyfriend. "Gosh, how'd that happen? Maybe you should lay off the cream puffs…" she said this in a completely thoughtful tone, which made Ashlynn laugh even harder. Kenny shot a glare at her. "I'll go get something to wipe it off with," Leti added, jogging away.
Ashlynn picked up a chip and started moving it to Kenny's guacamole stained face, who slapped his forehead in response, and walked away grumbling.
"Well, looks like the challenge is on…" Ashlynn mused. She glanced at the broken table and frowned. "Damn it, now there's no guacamole left…"
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"How'd you end up in there?" Leo asked Laura skeptically, as he glanced at the queen bee placed in the dunking tank.
"Don't ask," Laura growled, her teeth clenched. She turned to the numerous campers lined up to try to knock her in the (probably VERY cold) water. "Okay!" She hollered. "Which one of you weaklings is going first?"
"I'll go," Hunter offered, stepping forward and tossing a tennis ball around in his hands. "I figure you could be--"
"Knocked down a peg," Laura and the other campers finished monotonously in unison, as Laura gestured to the peg-like seat she was sitting while rolling her eyes.
"Fine, fine. Finish my hilarious jokes, why don't you…" Hunter grumbled as he wound his arm back, and fired a shot at the dunking tank's target. He missed, and Laura blew a raspberry at him.
"Is that the best you got?" Laura taunted.
"Don't start a challenge now, Laura," Doe laughed. "Effie can get pretty stubborn."
"Thankfully, I'm preoccupied with finding out what alien life forms are inside this tiny habitat of theirs!" Effie proclaimed firmly, attempting to rip the tennis ball open.
"Effie, I don't think--" Rachel started, but Thomas interrupted her.
"Maybe you should just let her do her thing," Thomas suggested, laughing. The ousted campers continued to unsuccessfully chuck tennis balls at the dunking tank's target, irritated at their failure. Meanwhile, Doe slunk back to talk to the Effie, who was still trying to search for little green men on her little green ball.
"Effie, you've got to keep an eye out!" The brunette warned. "We want to make sure we find the crasher before Ashlynn or Kenny does…"
"Tome um comprimido frio!" Effie complained.
"What?" Doe asked dubiously.
"Take a chill pill…in Portuguese!"
"Oh. Why Portuguese?"
"I dunno. Anyhow, nothing's really happened so far, y'know? I mean, besides Kenny's guacamole face. No one's gotten hurt!"
"Well…besides Kenny's dignity!" Doe laughed.
"Yup!" Effie agreed, winking. "Come on, what's the worst that could happ--"
"NO!" Doe wailed. "Effie, don't say that!"
"Why?" Effie questioned, tilting her head to one side in confusion.
"You NEVER say that on a reality show!" Doe groaned. To prove Doe's point, in just a matter of seconds, a piercing scream made them turn around. Laura was scrambling out of the dunking tank, her hair bright green and several piranhas chomping after her.
"Great…" Doe sighed.
"Who filled the tank with green dye and piranhas?" Effie asked out loud, rubbing her head in confusion and wondering how she and Doe somehow managed to miss someone doing that.
"Wasn't me!" Charity, the one to make the shot, said quickly. Doe narrowed her eyes at the Goth suspiciously.
"Don't look at her like that," Allister said irritably, as her wrapped a protective arm around Charity's shoulders. Doe looked away politely, but her face still looked wary.
"Hey…" Kevin said in a concerned tone as he walked up to Doe. "You okay?"
"Yeah," replied Doe weakly. "Just a little…um…"
"Nervous?" Kevin guessed. He smiled. "That's okay. Hey, at least it was Laura to take the fall. And hey, you gotta admit it was kind of funny!" Doe laughed, and Laura stomped over to them, snarling.
"It was NOT funny!" She shrieked. "Not, not, NOT! NOT funny at all! Absolutely NOT!"
"I think she's trying to tell us something…" Doe mused sarcastically, nudging Kevin with a wink.
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"Hey, are you a little worried?" Raphael asked Warren as the two continued playing the Wii game 'Super Smash Bros Brawl' on the gigantic TV the party had. "This is pretty much the only place that hasn't been screwed up in some way yet."
"It'll be fine," Warren replied dismissively. "Not stop talking or you'll get yourself killed."
"I have more lives than you do…" Raphael grumbled.
"Well, at least I'm not playing the dude with hair like a chick…" Warren grumbled back. Unbeknownst to the two boys, another camper sat down beside them and started playing as well, but the boys were already so into their game they didn't notice. The three of them, completely zoned in the game, continued playing their long match.
"Unbelievable!" Warren shouted, throwing his controller on the ground in aggravation once the match was finally over. "We both got killed by…by Jigglypuff!"
"Curse that pink menace…" Raphael sighed. "How'd we get killed by a computer player?" The two boys finally came aware of the camper sitting next to them.
"Leti!" Warren exclaimed, surprised. He slapped his forehead. "Please don't tell me that was you that just won."
"Hm…" Leti murmured, tapping her chin and sounding honestly confused. "I think it was."
The two boys exchanged glances in disbelief. To top it all off, the TV began to tick mysteriously, and before they had a chance, the TV blew up in a relatively mild explosion that sent the three of them flying to the ground with charred clothes and hair.
"Guys!" Ashlynn yelled from elsewhere, taking off in a sprint towards the grounded trio. Kenny was running right behind her.
"What happened?!" Kenny asked.
"Ticking TV…" Warren groaned. "The TV went kablam…now we're here…"
"I hate my life," Raphael added, groaning as well.
"That's the spirit!" Leti cheered, oblivious as ever.
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"Chris!" Kenny shouted, stomping towards the sadistic host who was relaxing on a lawn chair near the still broken snack table. "Can't we tell these campers what's going on now?"
"No can do buddy!" Chris replied. "It's against the rules!"
"I think they're suspicious…" Kenny hinted, rolling his eyes.
"Oh come on," Chris scoffed. "Nothing that suspicious has happened yet."
"The TV just spontaneously combusted, Chris."
"Oh…well…either way, it's still against the rules! Now, stop talking to me and find that crasher!"
Kenny decided to hold his tongue, and reluctantly walked back to the party before invincibility was received before him.
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Rosetta walked throughout the falling-apart-at-the-seams party, feeling both confused and irritated. She spun around another corner, and ran straight into Effie.
"Ow!" Rosetta groaned, rubbing her nose. "Eh…sorry about that, Effie." The fourteenth-place contestant stood up, to face both Effie and not surprisingly, Doe.
"Hi!" Effie greeted, jumping up and down from either nervousness or excitement. "Um…has anything else really weird happened lately?"
"Well the TV just blew up," Rosetta said casually, as if discussing the weather. "Other then that…nothing that I know of. Why do you ask?"
"Just curious," Doe lied. "Since everything's been all strange around here! Say, where's Riley?" Rosetta shrugged.
"I'm not sure," she replied. "He was here earlier, and then he told me he had to do something important." Doe and Effie exchanged excited glances, sure that they had their crasher.
"Yes!" Effie squealed, tackling to the ground Rosetta in a classic Effie style bear hug. "Thank you so, so, SO much! You rock!"
"Please get off of me…" was Rosetta's only reply.
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"Are you sure to want to do this?" Charity asked Allister, her eyes widening in fear.
"I…I have to…" Allister sighed back sadly. "If I don't make it back…remember me."
"You don't have to do this!" Charity cried.
"I'm sorry…but I'm really hungry," Allister confided. The two were still debating whether or not to risk eating anything at the snack table, due to fear it might be poisoned, or spiked with whatever else Chris could happen to find. Dramatically, Allister reached for a slice of chocolate cake. With Charity watching, her mouth agape, Allister finally took a bite of it.
"Huh," he said after a few moments. "Not bad." He then paled, and took off sprinting to the bathroom. Charity glared at the cake.
"This is your entire fault," she accused, pointing a finger at the cake.
"Why are you talking to inanimate objects?" Ashlynn asked, walking up the Goth and resting an elbow on her table. Charity sighed.
"Laxatives I presume," the Goth replied. "Allister took a bite. In retrospect, it was definitely not a smart move."
"I'd assume so," Ashlynn laughed. "Is he okay?"
"He should be. Hopefully. Maybe."
"Great, all the other food is probably messed with too…" Ashlynn mumbled to herself.
"Y'know…" Charity said slowly. "We're not that stupid. What challenge is going on right now?"
"Challenge?" Ashlynn squeaked back nervously. "What challenge? There's no challenge? Eh heh heh…"
"Whatever floats your boat," Charity laughed. "Whatever's going on…hopefully it will be over soon. There have been other difficulties as well."
"Did I miss something?" Ashlynn asked.
"Well, Trogdor was set loose…" Charity mused, gesturing towards the chaotic scene nearby where Trogdor was chasing Rachel, Thomas, and John around in a gigantic circle.
"Oh," Ashlynn sighed. "I'm gonna head before things get out of hand."
"They already have, Ash," Charity chuckled. "You're a little too late for that."
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Meanwhile, near the far dark corner of the party, an innocent looking blonde stood, holding an empty bottle of green dye and a box of laxatives. She pushed up her glasses slightly and then began to laugh in an insanely evil manner, dramatic lightning flashing in the background to set the mood.
"Satine!" Leti gasped, appearing into the scene. The dramatic background disappeared, and Satine frantically hid the evidence of the crime behind her back, sweating nervously. "Hey Satine, do you have any idea who might've put laxatives in the chocolate cake, and all that other stuff…?" Leti questioned.
"Um…no?"
"Oh," Leti mused. "Okay then! Bye!" Leti ran off, leaving Satine to once again resume her evil laughter.
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"AHA!" Effie roared, tackling Riley to the ground. She and Doe had run all over Wawanakwa, searching for the redhead who they were sure was the culprit. They finally found him on the beach.
Fireworks flew out of Riley's hands all the way into the lake as Effie pinned him down.
"Ladies…" Riley greeted, raising an eyebrow. "Am I missing something here? And may I add, why the hell did you have to just tackle me to the ground?!"
"Give it up Riley!" Doe replied, her hands on her hips. "We know you're the party crasher! Tell everyone and we won't have to hurt you!"
"Still…confused…what on Earth are you talking about?" Riley grumbled.
"Rosetta said you had to go do 'something important'…" Effie told him, narrowing her eyes. "You're obviously the mastermind! I mean, that's obviously… very…incriminating evidence…" she trailed off, starting to see some flaws in their logic.
"You're right," Riley remarked, squirming out of Effie's pin onto a squat on the beach. "I was doing something important. Unfortunately, you knocked it into the lake."
"The fireworks?" Doe asked. "What, planning to blow something up?"
"No. I was going to put a firework display on for Rosetta. It's our three-week anniversary," Riley sighed. Doe and Effie smiled sheepishly.
"Oh…" Effie said slowly, finally standing up. "Whoops. We were kind of sure you were…er…"
"Aw crap!" Doe exclaimed suddenly. "We told him, and he isn't the crasher, so that means we're out!"
"I have no idea what you're talking about. But, instead of questioning further, I'm going to leave now and pretend I knew what you were talking about. Later!" Riley jogged off, confused but thankfully having a backup plan for his gift to Rosetta.
"Well…" Doe mused. "If it's not Riley, who do you think it is?"
"Maybe it's Chuck Norris!" Effie cried, punching a fist in the air. Doe laughed.
"I was serious…" Effie whined, crossing her arms.
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Kenny leaned against the edge of the dunking tank, closing his eyes and sighing. It had been long enough—he was just about ready to give up.
"Hey there!" A familiar voice greeted. Kenny opened his eyes to see Satine standing in front of him. "Why the long face?"
"Ah, to be honest, I can't tell you…" Kenny mumbled. Satine nodded, since she actually did understand. "Where have you been the whole party, anyways?"
"Just hanging by the beach, stuff like that," Satine lied instantly. "I'm not too fond of parties, really. Too loud and noisy…"
"I hear you there," Kenny agreed. "This party is as crazy as a hyena hyped up on sugar." He paused. "Thankfully Ashlynn didn't hear me say that…"
"So, where is everybody?" Satine asked, who much to Kenny's relief, avoided any easy shots at the cheesy simile.
"Most are in the bathrooms…" Kenny replied, closing his eyes once again. "It's kind of a disaster in there, really…"
"Laxatives will do that to you," Satine sighed. Kenny nodded slightly, but then his eyes flew open.
"You said you weren't here for the whole party…but I never said anything about laxatives," he said slowly. Satine paled.
"Yes you did."
"No, I didn't."
"Yes you did!"
"No I didn't!"
"I can do this all day, Kenny…"
Kenny narrowed his eyes.
"Well, forget that then. I'll be needing this," he muttered, swiping Satine's handbag before she had time to object. He ran off, yelling at the top of his lungs for everyone's attention.
"Game over," Satine sighed, slapping her forehead. "I knew the laxatives were overkill…"
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"Alright, everyone!" Kenny shouted on the stage, waving his arms so that everyone would quiet down. Everyone managed to make it back to the stage—including Doe, Effie, Riley, and Rosetta—who was blushing and now wearing a very familiar redhead's treasured goggle headband around her neck. Leti was standing besides Kenny on the stage.
"As you might've noticed…" Kenny continued. "This party wasn't as innocent as we led it off to be."
"We figured that out a long time ago," Allister sighed.
"I digress. There was one person, albeit one forced person, behind the chaos. Now, if you pay attention to the evidence here…" Kenny trailed off as Leti whispered something in his ear. "No, Leti," Kenny sighed. "I will not put on a Sherlock Holmes outfit." Leti frowned, and whispered something else in Kenny's ear. "I don't even know how to speak in a British accent, Leti. Can I continue?"
"Oh fine, joy kill…" Leti teased, rolling her eyes and smiling.
"Continuing! If you look in this bag, this bag that is clearly none other than Satine's…" Satine smiled sheepishly as she was given glares by the majority of the campers. "You'll see an empty green dye bottle, a laxative box, and a 'How-to-train-piranhas' pamphlet. I think that's evidence enough."
"Sure is!" Chris agreed, walking on the stage. "And, ladies and gentleman…Kenny has won invincibility! Now, Doe, Effie, and Ashlynn are up for elimination! But they're not voting against each other, no…you ousted campers will be doing that!"
"Well that's not much of a twist," Ashlynn criticized.
"It's the best we got!" Chris whined. "Now, all you losers, go vote off someone right…now!" The eighteen ousted campers ran to the confessional immediately.
Confessional Cam: We're back. And we haven't exploded yet! Hip-hip-hooray!
"There was no way I was going to let Doe get the kick," Kevin said quickly. "And I didn't want to vote off her friend."
Buzz.
"I'm worried Doe will have enough votes to stay on, so the only logical person was Effie," Raphael told the camera.
Buzz.
"My shoulders are bruised, Effie," Riley grumbled.
Buzz.
"Wasn't this so sweet of Riley?" Rosetta asked dreamily, tapping her goggles with a goofy grin. "Oh right. Elimination…er…"
Buzz.
"I don't feel so good…" The still-charred Warren whimpered.
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"Hello, three of the final four!" Chris greeted the ladies at the campfire ceremony. "One of you will not be making it to the semifinals. So, here we go…the first marshmallow goes to Doe." Doe smiled, and received her treat. "Ladies, the final marshmallow goes to…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
Ashlynn." The brunette nodded her head once, and grabbed her treat. "Effie, time for you to walk the Dock of Shame…"
"Ah, well! It was fun, guys!" Effie proclaimed. She said nothing more, and the others stared at her with gaping mouths.
"Something wrong?" questioned the redhead.
"That…that was actually a sane thing to say…" Jade said slowly. Effie's hand flew to her forehead and she laughed.
"Oh yeah!" She laughed. She then cleared her throat, quickly shrieked—"YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE!" Ran off screen, ran back on screen, hugged Doe, and then ran back off screen yet again. Suddenly, Trogdor ran past the campers as well, and Effie hopped on his back from the Dock of Shame. The two then swam out of sight.
"This sucks…" Doe sniffled. "I'll miss you Effie!"
"I'll miss you tooooooo!" was the faint reply. Ashlynn patted Doe's shoulder in comfort, and Kenny smiled sadly.
"Well, it's time for the losers to head back as well!" Chris said. Sighing, the campers clambered back into the Boat of Losers, save for Raphael, Kevin, and Leti.
"Aw, Doe…" Kevin murmured, tilting Doe's head up. "You can win this all. I know you can! You're smart, and funny, and…a bunch of other amazing things…" he grinned, and the two kissed.
"Kenny!" Leti squealed, spinning the wallflower around in a hug. "Do you know how incredibly awesome you are?!"
"I know how dizzy I am…" Kenny groaned. Leti giggled, and set Kenny down. "Thanks, Leti."
"No problemo!" Leti laughed once again, wrapping her arms around her boyfriend. "Win it all, okay?"
"I'll try," Kenny chuckled.
"Work on that fainting thing, Raphael," Ashlynn teased, knocking Raphael lightly on the arm.
"No guarantees," Raphael murmured. He smiled. "Good luck Ashlynn. You know I'm rooting for you." Ashlynn blushed, and hugged Raphael.
"Thank you," she said softly. More goodbyes ensued from the three couples, and they finally boarded the Boat of Losers, which sped away back to the Playa de Losers.
"Hey," Hunter whispered on the boat, scooting towards Satine. "How'd you do that exploding TV trick, anyways?"
"Oh it wasn't too hard…anyone could do it," Satine said modestly, her face turning slightly red. "I could show you sometime…if you'd like."
"You had me at hello," Hunter laughed. Satine tilted her head, puzzled.
"I never said hello."
"Gah…sorry…" he mumbled, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head. "It's my brother's pickup lines. He's…he's not much of a ladies' man. His lines don't really work much I guess…"
Satine grinned, and leaned her head against Hunter's shoulder.
"Oh, I'm not too sure about that."
The overall tally was…
Effie: Eight votes (Raphael, Rosetta, Riley, Leo, Leti, Satine, Jade, Hunter)
Doe: Four votes (Joel, Alice, Allister, Laura)
Ashlynn: Six votes (Kevin, Thomas, Warren, John, Rachel, Charity)
(A.N.) This chapter has been brought to you by The Offspring's 'You're Gonna Go Far, Kid' which is now officially the best song in the world. Period.
Anyways…sorry for the long wait! And, I switched challenges halfway through, so the 'preview' for this chapter no longer fits. Just goes to show how indecisive I am. Heh. Hopefully this chapter met up to standards.
Apologies to CaptJessicaSparrow for kicking off Effie, but don't worry—she'll return!
So, we're down to the final three…
Who's gonna win? You'll have to wait and see! ^^
Thanks for taking the time to read this, and have an awesome day!
(EDIT): Oh yeah...forgot to mention it...Goddess of Power (creator of Doe) actually wants to do the sequel FOR me. XD So, if you have any questions about it...ask her, not me. Thanks again, GoP!