Author's Note: This chapter is very long. It just kind of...had a lot to say. I hope that's okay with you. I'm thinking it probably is ;)

Warning for language in this chapter. It's T so I shouldn't' have to say it, but I will anyway.

-SQ

Disclaimer: I didn't create Harry Potter. Jo did. Wow, amazing.

Chapter 26: Coming Out

Lily came back into the common room and walked straight into Rose.

"Ooof!" said Rose, her large pile of books spilling out of her arms. "Lily?"

"Oh, I'm sorry Rose, I wasn't looking where I was going." Lily bent down and picked up Rose's books off the floor. "Where are you headed with all of those?"

"The library," said Rose. "I'm returning them."

"Can I walk with you?" asked Lily, grateful for an excuse to talk to her cousin alone.

"Sure," said Rose, surprised.

The two cousins walked to the library in silence. Rose returned her books and they headed back the way they had come.

"Is something on your mind, Lily?" asked Rose. "You're awfully quiet."

"Yes," said Lily. "Yes, something is on my mind. Rose, how do you feel about lesbians?"

Rose looked very taken aback. "Lesbians? Well...they...they're fine I suppose. As long as they don't try to come on to me or anything, or make-out in front of me. To be honest it makes me kind of uncomfortable. I don't generally think about...you know. It's not like I know any very well."

"Yes you do," said Lily quietly.

Rose looked at her in confusion. "No I don't. I barely know Harper and Vaisey."

Lily flinched at hearing Hepzibah's name. "I'm not talking about them."

"Who are you talking about then?"

"Me."

Rose stopped walking very suddenly. Lily looked at her.

"Rose? Rose, say something."

"You're—you're...but Lily, how can you be sure? You've never kissed a girl. Have you?"

Lily shook her head. "Did you need to kiss a boy before you knew you liked them?"

"Well, no... But you're going out with Kyle!"

"I broke up with him."

"You'll find another guy."

"I won't, Rose. I don't like guys that way. I like girls." She blinked, determined not to cry. "Is that really such a bad thing?"

"No," said Rose. "No, of course not," though she sounded unsure. "It's just...a lot to take in."

"Tell me about it," said Lily.

Rose smiled shakily. "I guess it's even more for you to take in, huh?"

Lily nodded.

"I just have to get used to the idea, that's all. You're still the same Lily, regardless of who you like. Just no snogging in front of me. Please."

"I don't think you have to worry about that any time soon, Rose," said Lily. "The only girl I want to snog is very much unavailable."

Rose looked like she was about it ask who it was, but then thought better of it. Shaking her head, she said, "Come on, we've been standing in this corridor long enough, it's really rather drafty."

*****BWST*****

Dawn and Marica had been casting glances at Lily all week. She knew they were trying to be inconspicuous, but they were going to blow her cover if Lily didn't come out to her other roommates soon. The decision to bring up the topic, however, was taken out of her hands.

"Lily!" Brandi had just burst into the dormitory. "Tell me it isn't true!"

"Tell you what isn't true?" said Tamzen, looking up from her magazine.

"Do you know what this foolish girl did?" asked Brandi. "She dumped Kyle Jordan!"

"No!"

"Well, I wouldn't really call it dumped..." said Lily.

"But you broke up with him?" said Paloma incredulously.

"Yes," said Lily

"What? Why?" demanded Tamzen. "Who in their right mind would give up a boyfriend like him?"

"The only other girl who's ever dumped Kyle Jordan is that Slytherin seventh year, Tamie Harper," said Brandi. "And of course now she's—wait, Lily, you don't like girls do you?"

"Er—well—yes," said Lily, startled by the abruptness of the question. "How did you—?" She stopped. A very strange expression had come over Brandi's face.

"I changed in front of you!" she said, sounding horrified. "You've seen me without any clothes on!"

"Brandi, it's not like I've been looking at you. I didn't even know I liked girls until less than a week ago."

Brandi did not look reassured. "I don't want to share a dorm with a lesbian, that's creepy."

"Come on, Brandi," said Tamzen. "I'm sure she's not looking at you that way. You're not, right Lily?"

Lily shook her head.

"Good. Oh, and just so we're clear, I'm only interested in boys."

"Tamzen, Brandi, I'm not going to come on to you. Have I ever come on to you? I'm still the same Lily you've known for almost 5 years. Just because I'm into girls doesn't mean I'm into every girl."

"I'm into boys and I'm into every boy," muttered Tamzen.

"Yeah, well, you're a slut," said Marica conversationally.

"I think you're very brave, Lily," said Paloma, "to come out like that. My aunt is a lesbian, but she didn't come out to anyone until five years ago. She had a husband and three kids. Now she has a girlfriend and has never been happier."

They all turned to stare at her.

"I didn't know that," said Lily.

Paloma shrugged. "It's true."

"Well I still don't want you watching me dress," said Brandi. "Turn your back or something, I'm going to put on my pajamas."

Lily sighed and turned to talk to Cassiopeia, who was sitting beside her on the bed, while Brandi and Tamzen quickly changed into their nightgowns.

"Lights out," announced Marica.

"Awww!" said Dawn. "Don't be such a party-pooper."

"As a prefect—" Marica started, but she didn't get any farther, as Dawn chucked a pillow at her.

"Still lights out," said Marica. "Cassie, you'd better go to your own dormitory."

Cassiopeia nodded and kissed Lily on the cheek before exiting. Marica flicked her wand at the ceiling and the lights went out.

"'Night, girls," said Dawn.

"'Night," replied the other five.

*****BWST*****

Dear Mum, Dad, and James,

How are you? I miss you. Christmas was too long ago. It still feels weird not having you at Hogwarts, James. How is the internship going? Have you scheduled your Quidditch try-outs yet?

Okay, sorry, I'm rambling. And, as much as I love you all, that's not the real reason I'm writing. The deal is, and there is really no easy way to put this, this is my coming out letter. I'm a lesbian. Relax, Dad and James, I'm not dating anyone yet, no need to get all protective. I hope you're not too disappointed, because this is just a part of who I am. I love you all.

-Lily

P.S. Please show this letter Teddy and Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione, and any other family members or friends you want to show it to, because I'm planning on being out and I don't want to write a letter to everyone.

*****BWST*****

Albus and Hugo were the hardest members of Lily's family to get on their own. Actually, they were pretty much impossible to get on their own, since Scorpius was always with them. Finally Lily decided that she didn't care if Scorpius was there when she came out to them, he would find out soon enough anyway.

Lily, Cassiopeia, Dawn, and Marica arrived early for breakfast on Wednesday and waited until Albus, Scorpius, and Hugo appeared at the top of the dungeon staircase.

"Albus. Hugo," said Lily, beckoning them over.

Hugo grinned at her but Albus looked bemused. She rarely had anything to say to him at school.

"Hugie," she said, using her childhood nickname for her cousin, the one only she was ever allowed to use, and which even she hadn't used in years, "Al, I'm pretty sure, being a Potter child, even the inconspicuous one, this is going to spread through the school like wildfire, and I'd rather my brother and my cousin hear it from me rather than some gossipy Slytherin. I'm a lesbian. I'm hoping you won't have an issue with that, seeing as you're at least on decent term with Hepzibah Vaisey and Tamie Harper, but I also know Slytherins aren't known for their tolerance. Regardless, it's the truth, and if you don't like it well then I don't damn well care."

She said it firmly, with her head held high, but it was lie. She hadn't realized until that moment just how much her brother's opinion did matter to her. Hugo, well, Hugo she knew she could count on, she could see it in his face right now. But Albus...she had never felt so keenly the distance that there was between her and her youngest brother.

"Lily, I know we may not be best friends or anything, but I'm your brother. I'm quite ready to kick the ass of any bastard that has a problem with you."

Lily's face broke into a grin.

"Me too, Looey" said Hugo emphatically, using his own special childhood nickname for her.

Lily grinned even wider and hugged him. "I miss you, Hughie" she whispered.

"I miss you too, Looey," said Hugo. "We'll spend the next Hogsmeade weekend together, I promise."

"What about Al & Scorpius?" she asked.

"I won't die if I'm not with them for a few hours," said Hugo.

"Wondered when you'd figure that out," Lily teased.

Hugo stuck his tongue out at her.

"This is all very touching," Scorpius drawled. "But I, for one, do not want to miss breakfast."

Cassiopeia frowned at him. This is important to her.

Scorpius looked pointedly toward the Great Hall, where the rest of the school was busy eating. And breakfast is important to me.

You could be a bit more sympathetic.

I am sympathetic. I'm also hungry!

"No, Scorpius is right," said Lily, surprising everyone, not the least herself. "We're missing breakfast. Come on, Cassie. 'Bye Hugo, 'bye Albus."

"See ya, Lily."

*****BWST*****

As Lily had predicted, her status as youngest resident Potter, compounded with the fact that she had recently been dating Kyle Jordan, made the school a lot more interested in her coming out than they might have otherwise been.

Most of the attention was shocked but more-or-less neutral, but there was the occasional nasty remark. Some of Kyle's jilted admirers especially seemed to make her their target.

"You little hoe! How dare you lead a nice guy like Kyle on like that?"

This kind of remark was simply laughable, since Lily very much doubted that Kyle was the type to let himself be "led-on" by anybody. But some of the other remarks were more hurtful, though Lily tried her best not to let them get to her.

"Fag."

"Creep."

"It's just unnatural."

"Don't get to close to her, she might make you a lesbian."

"Nasty little cunt, fouling herself up by touching other girls like that."

"I've never touched anyone like that," protested Lily.

"Come on, Lily," said Cassiopeia. "Ignore them, they're not worth it."

"It's not a disease," said Lily, gritting her teeth in anger and humiliation.

"I know, love," said Cassiopeia soothingly. "They're hurting themselves more than they're hurting you."

"How do you figure that?" said Lily indignantly.

"Because they're depriving themselves of getting to know you," said Cassiopeia with a smile. "Who cares what they think anyway? They're just a bunch of flobberworms."

"Cassie!" said Lily, laughing.

"What?" said Cassiopeia innocently.

*****BWST*****

Dearest Lily,

We're sorry that it took us so long to get back to you. Honestly, we didn't know what to say. This isn't what we would have chosen for our little girl. We won't say that we didn't have fantasies about you bringing home some handsome young man and getting married and having children, but obviously that wasn't meant to be. We wanted to tell you that, while we wish things were different, mostly because we do not want you to have to face the prejudice that some people will show, and also for some of our own selfish reasons, we are behind you one hundred percent. Most everyone else says the same. Some are having a harder time accepting the news than others, particularly your grandmother and aunt Fleur, but we all love you, no matter whom you decide to be with, and we look forward to you bringing home some beautiful young woman sometime in the future.

Love, Mum and Dad

Lily folded up the letter with a damp-eyed smile.

"What did they say?" asked Cassiopeia.

Lily handed her the letter.

"You're lucky," said Cassiopeia. "Did you know Tamie's parents disowned her?"

"What?" said Lily, shocked.

Cassiopeia nodded. "When she came out as bi they kicked her out of the house. She's been living with different friends during the summers since her third year."

Lily suddenly felt a lot less hostility toward the older girl.

"That's awful. Her own parents?"

Cassiopeia nodded again. "They wrote her out of their will and everything. Some people really like to cling to the old ways, especially old Slytherin families. She was an only child, but they had another after they disowned her. I don't know if the second girl even knows about her older sister."

"That's terrible!" said Lily. "She doesn't even get to see her own sister? How do you know all this?"

"My mother was friends with Judith Harper while she was at school. She was Judith Avrey then. They drifted apart though before they left Hogwarts, Avrey was too much into the whole Death Eater scene. And Miles Harper was the reserve Seeker on the Slytherin Quidditch team when my father was Seeker. And my mother loves gossip."

When Lily looked dumbstruck at this amount of information Cassiopeia shrugged.

"I listen."

"Do people know you hear so much?"

"Of course not," said Cassiopeia. "Did you?"

*****BWST*****

Lily was woken on her birthday by Cassiopeia tapping her on the shoulder.

"Everyone's downstairs waiting for you, Lily, they sent me up here to get you."

Lily blinked sleepily. "Can't a girl sleep in on her own birthday?"

"It's already ten o'clock, silly," said Cassiopeia. "Everyone wants to give you their presents."

"Alright, alright," said Lily, throwing off the blankets. "I'm getting up."

Lily pulled on a pair of jeans and a polo shirt, laced up her trainers, and ran some product through her hair.

"There, you happy?"

"If you are," said Cassiopeia. "Now come on!"

Lily came. Dawn, Marica, Rose, Louis, and Paloma were waiting for her at the bottom of the staircase. Brandi and Tamzen, who had been a bit distant with her since she had come out, were absent.

"It's about time!" said Rose "We thought you'd never get up!"

"Sorry," said Lily.

"Don't apologize, it's your birthday!" said Louis, sweeping her into a big hug. She hugged him back.

"Open your presents, already," said Dawn.

Lily did, and she was very satisfied with the result. Afterward, they all decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather and take a stroll around the grounds.

Lily turned her face up toward the sun. "I don't care what you say, Cassie, sun is the best kind of weather. And spring in the best season. Not too hot, not too cold..." She inhaled deeply.

Louis copied her, and got a fit of sneezes for his trouble.

"I have to adbit spring isn't by favorite season," he said when he could speak again.

Lily rolled her eyes. "I wonder why? If you had any sense you'd be inside right now."

"Oh, we established long ago that I haven't got any sense," he said flippantly. The effect was somewhat ruined, however, by his starting to cough.

Marica, who was walking text to him, patted him on the back. "Weren't you supposed to have acquired some level of sense when you became an adult?"

Both he and Lily burst out laughing.

"Obviously—" said Lily through her giggles, "You—haven't—met—very—many—adult—Weasleys."

"Hey, hey Marica!"

They all turned. Clark was beckoning from the front steps.

Louis scowled. "Can't he see we're in the biddle of something?"

"We're not really," said Lily. "We're just taking a walk."

"We're celebrating your a-a-atchoo! Atchoo! birthday. Atchoo!"

"Lily, do you mind if I go with him?" said Marica.

"Not at all," said Lily. "Go ahead."

"Thanks Lils." Marica patted Louis on the shoulder. "Feel better Louis."

"Oh, sure, do't bide be," said Louis. "I'll just stad here ad sdeeze ad cough byself to death."

"Don't be so grumpy, Louis," said Lily, putting an arm around his waist. "It isn't like you."

He smiled ruefully at her. "You're right, it's dot. I guess I'b just tired."

"I'll bet," said Lily, looking up into his reddened eyes.

"I'b fide," said Louis. "Relax, it's your birthday."

*****BWST*****

The end of the year was approaching, and for the fifth years this meant one thing: OWLs

Saturday afternoon found Lily, Marica, and Rose, who was taking her NEWTs this year, on the couches underneath the open windows in the Gryffindor common room, frantically flipping through notes and looking things up in textbooks. Dawn, claiming that all this studying was making her brain hurt, had gone outside to enjoy the beautiful day with Zakai who, being a foreign exchange student, didn't have to take the exams. Cassiopeia was leaning out of the open window, the gentle breeze swirling her fine, blond locks around her head like a halo.

Marica checked her watch. "I promised Clark I'd study with him at three; I'd better get going if I don't want to be late." She began to gather up her things.

"Why aren't you studying with Scorpius, Rose?" said Cassiopeia from the window.

Rose snorted. "Studying with Al & Scorp is enough to drive anyone crazy. They do more laughing and joking than studying."

"They still get good marks, though," said Cassiopeia.

Rose scowled. "Well, bully for them."

Lily raked a hand through her by-now-disheveled short red hair. She wasn't sure yet what she wanted to do with her life, so she had to keep her options open and get as many O.W.L.s as she could; at the same time, she wasn't going to waste her energy worrying about classes that she had no interest in continuing. Astronomy was out for sure, as was Herbology. As much as she liked Neville Longbottom, she was rather hopeless with plants; somehow she always managed to kill them. Besides, privately she found them rather boring.

Lily rubbed her eyes. The numbers in her Arithmancy book were beginning to blur on the page. She groaned in frustration and felt a pair of hands touch her tense shoulders and begin to massage them.

"Relax, Lily, you'll do fine."

"What do you know?" snapped Lily. "You're only a third year."

"No need to get snappy," said Cassiopeia mildly.

"Okay, sorry," said Lily. "Can you just leave me alone right now? I'm trying to study."

Feeling slightly stung, Cassiopeia returned to the window and leaned on the sill again.

"Getting snapped at by my lovely cousins?" said Louis, coming up beside her. "You shouldn't take it personally. It's the Weasley temper."

Cassiopeia smiled. "I'll keep that in mind. Seeing as Lily is indisposed, I'll temporarily take her place and tell you that the last place you should be right now is at this open window in front of that lovely blooming maple tree."

Louis sneezed, shrugged, and sneezed again.

"Where're Dawn and Marica?"

"With their boyfriends, where else?" said Cassiopeia.

"Where else indeed," said Louis, sounding just a little annoyed.

"Excuse me? Cassiopeia?" Bryan Carmichael was standing behind her, snowflake the tabby cat cradled in his arms. "If you're not too busy studying for your own exams, would you mind helping me and Aaron?"

"Aaron and me," Cassiopeia corrected automatically. "And I'd love to. This is Louis Weasley, by the way. Louis, this is Bryan Carmichael."

Bryan smiled shyly. "Hi."

"Please to meet you," said Louis. "I'm going to go take another allergy potion and then find a lovely girl to flirt with. The work of a teenage heart-throb never ends."

"'Bye Louis," said Cassiopeia, shaking her head in amusement. "Alright, Bryan, what is it you and Aaron need help with?"

*****BWST*****

Lily heard the dormitory door open and looked up from her bed. "I thought you might not come tonight, after the way I snapped at you earlier."

Cassiopeia shrugged and shut the door behind her. "I always come up here and hang out with you before I go to bed. Where's everyone else?"

"Not here yet," said Lily. She made room for Cassiopeia on the bed. "I'm sorry I snapped at you, I'm just really stressed."

"It's okay." Cassiopeia sat up on her knees behind Lily and gently massaged her shoulders. "You'll do fine on your OWLs, stop worrying."

Lily closed her eyes and relaxed in spite of herself. Cassiopeia always knew just how to make her feel better.

"You're right," she said. "Victoire spent more time doing her hair than paying attention in class and she still got five OWLs."

"Well, you don't have much hair to do, so I'm sure you'll get more than that."

*****BWST*****

All in all, the OWLs weren't as bad as Lily had feared. The only real difference between them and normal end-of-year exams was that they covered material from the first four years as well as the current one. Still, she, Dawn, Marica, and Hugo were very glad when they were finished.

"Those exams were too long!" said Hugo, shaking his head so that his hair, which he wore shaggy and on the long side in the style he had copied from Albus and Scorpius, flew around his head like a mane.

"At least now we have Hogsmeade to look forward to tomorrow," said Cassiopeia.

Hugo nodded enthusiastically. "And I'm going to spend the entire day with my favoritist cousin in the entire world."

Lily cocked an eyebrow at him. "More favoritist than Al?"

"We-ell..." said Hugo. "You're tied."

"I think I can deal with that," said Lily.

*****BWST*****

The next day promised to be a hot one even before the sun was fully up. By the time Lily, Cassiopeia, and Hugo entered Hogsmeade, the temperature had risen above 27 (81ish).

"It should be illegal to be this hot," said Hugo, leaning against the side of a building.

"I know a way to cool you off," said Lily mischievously. She pulled out her wand and pointed it at him. "Aguamenti!"

"Hey!" spluttered Hugo, now dripping wet. "I'll get you for that!"

The three of them chased each other down the street, spraying each other with water and not really paying attention to where they were going. Lily turned to shoot a stream of water over her shoulder at Cassiopeia and slammed right into someone, knocking them to the ground.

"Oops, sorry," said Lily, looking down at a very disgruntled-looking Louis.

"Gee—atchoo! thanks," said Louis, standing up and brushing himself off. A face full of pollen is—atchoo! exactly the way I wanted to start my day."

"Sorry, Louis," said Lily again. "I wasn't looking where I was going. Are you okay?"

"That much is obvious," said Louis. He ruffled her hair. "And yes, I'm fine. Go on and have fun, it's a beautiful day."

"Hmph," said Hugo. "It's too hot."

*****BWST*****

About midday the three of them headed into the Three Broomsticks to meet Dawn, Zakai, Marica, and Clark. As soon as they entered Lily's heart tightened. Hepzibah Vaisey and Tamie Harper were sitting in one of the front booths.

Lily started past them, determinedly not looking their way, but Hepzibah said, "Hello Lily."

Lily flinched. "Hi."

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Lily swallowed. "Uhhh...sure..."

Hepzibah stood up and beckoned her into a corner of the pub.

"How are you?"

"Good," said Lily, and it wasn't really a lie. Why couldn't she have talked to me before I realized I liked her? She thought. And before I realized I couldn't have her.

"Congratulations on coming out," said Hepzibah. "I know it's not easy."

Lily nodded mutely.

"Let me tell you a story," said the older girl. "I came out back in my fourth year. Before that I had always been kind of awkward and shy, the odd-girl-out."

Lily tried to imagine the self-assured Hepzibah as awkward and shy. It wasn't easy.

"I didn't really fit any label, so the other Slytherins didn't know what to do with me. Right around the time I turned fifteen I decided that I didn't want to fit any label, so I stopped letting my differentness make me awkward and started letting it make me me.

"Right around the time I first started to acknowledge to myself that I liked girls there was this one girl in the year above me, her name was Lisbeth Corner. She was a Ravenclaw, very sure of herself, very outgoing. Quite popular, but not in the cookie-cutter, just-like-everyone else way. I fell hard for her. She was my first crush. Unfortunately, she was straight and had a steady boyfriend who happened to be the captain of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team. I admired her and pined for her from afar for a year. Then another girl asked me out. I was so taken aback that I turned her down. I was in love with Lisbeth! I couldn't go out with anyone else. A week later, the same girl asked me out again. This time I said yes. I dated her for three months, and sometime in the middle of those three months I realized that I wasn't in love with Lisbeth anymore; in fact, I didn't think I ever really had been to begin with.

"Infatuation isn't love, and your first crush won't be your only one. There are a lot of girls out there looking for someone just like you, so don't limit your options because you're waiting for the perfect one. You'll never find her if you don't try some exploring, and she might just be the last person you'd expect."

Hepzibah leaned over and gave Lily a gentle, chaste peck on the lips. "Now go show Hogwarts what you're made of, lion cub."

AN: That took me a while and a good bit of effort to write, but I hope it was worth it. I meant it to cover all the way until they get out of school, but it just got too long, so the very end of the year is at the beginning of the next chapter.

If you haven't reviewed yet it's not too late! And if you have been, no reason to stop now!

-SQ