This chapter shows Brandon and Callie kind of getting through the last roadblock they've been dealing with lately, and I know it's been a while since they've had what one would call a stress-free situation. Read on.
"I don't get it. I went through this when I told what happened, when I tried—to have sex, and, then when I saw him again. I am just," she breathed, "so tired of this—Of dealing with this. I don't get how he can keep ruining my life when he's not even around."
"I wouldn't think of it as ruining your life. It's just another thing to overcome; we all have those battles, Callie, and sometimes they make us stronger." The doctor stared back at her, putting forth the best advice from her psychoanalytic training.
"Well I thought I overcame it a long time ago."
"This is something you're going to have to overcome your whole life. Unfortunately Callie, you went through something that I can only understate as horrible, and the trauma is irreversible."
"So I'm just supposed to keep being blindsided by something I didn't choose to affect me, in the worst way possible?"
"You're right. You didn't choose. And that may be where your anger stems from."
"Anger is not my biggest problem," Callie squinted her eyes. "Besides I'm not angry, not anymore."
"It may not be your biggest problem, but I have a feeling you're angrier about this than you realize. It's why you say you've been blindsided. Is it not?"
"Let's get through this," Callie succumbed.
*ring, ring*
Brandon answered the phone as he sat organizing some papers on the couch of his shared apartment with Callie. "Hello."
"Hey Brandon," it's Mama. Are you busy?"
"No, I'm just getting my music sheets together while I wait for Callie to get back."
"Yeah? How's that going," she asked alluding to more than just his constant waiting?
"It's fine. We're taking things slow. We haven't really talked about things much, but we aren't staying under separate roofs, so I'd say we're taking a step in the right direction."
"I'm glad you guys let us know what was going on. You know Mom and I are always here to guide both of you if you ever get a little lost. No matter how old you get, we're here."
"I know. Sometimes it just all starts to feel like it's up to me to figure it out. And I think Callie feels the same. Plus I—I didn't wanna burden you or Mom."
"It's not a burden. Ok, believe it or not, we as your parents thrive on being able to help you guys through your struggles, on being needed. We've guided you for 18 years, but that doesn't mean it's over when you get out of the house. You'll understand one day."
"Thank you for suggesting the shrink and well just always being a great parent."
Lena smiled to herself on the other end of the phone. "You know, it may be helpful to go talk to the therapist if you're having trouble trying to navigate this."
"No, I, I don't think that's—necessary."
"Brandon, you're allowed to, to question too. If you're concerned with the lack of conversation about it, or really anything, you can talk to someone and get some insight—"
"No," Brandon chuckled. "I appreciate your concern and your uh guidance, but really I know Callie will talk about it with me if and when she wants to. And I'm fine supporting her until that happens, no shrink advice needed. But thanks."
"Ok, just trying to help."
"And I appreciate that. You can guide me and be there for me. Trust me, I really need it sometimes. But, well despite having a degree in teaching, being surrounded by teenagers all day, and having some helpful, though often annoying to your kids, psychiatrist complex…"
Lena let out a breathy chuckle on the other end.
"…you don't always know what's best."
"Ok. Point taken," Lena spoke. "I digress. You do know yourself by now. Call me more often, not the other way around. I mean, I know you're busy, but…"
"Okay," Brandon chuckled…
"…will do. Love you."—Callie was walking through the apartment door as he was finishing up the call.—"Bye." "Hey," he greeted her?
"Who was that," Callie asked curiously going to sit on the couch with him.
"Mama."
"Oh, well what'd she want?"
"Nothing. How was the session?"
"She called because she wanted nothing," Callie made a funny face? "Doesn't that sound a little weird?"
"Um, hello, this is your boyfriend. He asked you how your day was," Brandon joked. "What's with all your questions? Can I get a hello first?"
"Hi," she couldn't help but grin.
"Ah, a smile! It's been a while since I've seen your face light up like that."
"Ok, if you wanna be secretive and not tell me, go ahead," she giggled not really thinking it a big deal. Her face turned serious. "But is there anything that you think you should share with me? Like how you're thinking about transferring to Julliard?"
Brandon's smile quickly faded. "I can explain," he began looking at the carpet.
"You don't have to," she said quickly. "I'm not mad."
"You're not?"
"No. I wish you'd told me; don't get me wrong. But if you want a future in classical music, then you should go for it, Brandon. I think they'd be lucky to have you."
"I haven't made any definite plans yet. I haven't even applied, or figured out if I would need the surgery. Wait, how did you know I was thinking about Julliard?"
"They called when I had your phone—about the meeting you scheduled with them. I guess we both haven't been so honest about certain things. I'm sorry I waited 'til now to tell you."
"Callie, I cancelled the appointment I had for Friday."
"Wh—why would you do that?"
"I didn't wanna look into anything if I didn't talk to you about my thought process yet. And I didn't talk to you because I figured in the wake of everything happening, it could break us when we were already on a break. I should have told you when Julliard first crossed my mind, but I didn't.…You know I had some time to think while we were on a break. I think the only time we've had our downfalls is when we shut the other out. Not just with everything going on now, but when I avoided you when I found out my dad was drinking again, or any time we weren't talking while we were trying to figure out our relationship. I don't think we can shut each other out if we're going through something. If anything it makes us stronger as individuals and better as a couple."
"Yeah, yeah, that's what they say. But you're right; we can't shut each other out. Reschedule the meeting, Brandon. Okay, I get why you thought you couldn't tell me, but just because I'm dealing with something doesn't mean I'm too fragile, or something.
"I—I know. I didn't think that."
You should look into this great opportunity for yourself. This is a huge thing for you and I don't want you dancing around your decision because you're worried about how I'll feel. You should see if Julliard is a possibility for you. I want you to—if you want this."
"Have I told you lately how much I appreciate you."
"No, but how could you not," she smirked?