Twenty-six.

From the bathroom, Olivia could hear Ed talking to Sarah, and trying but not always succeeding to keep his voice low. She focused on washing Noah's hair then sat against the wall as he played with his tub toys.

"I want you to take a few days off. You don't look good at all."

"Thanks, Daddy."

"You know what I mean. You look tired. Like ya haven't slept. And lay off the booze. Have you been eating…you gotta eat, Sarah, you're gonna crash and burn at some point…"

Ed spoke a few more concerned, fatherly sentences and Sarah started sniffling, crying quietly, and attempting to stifle sobs. "I know," she moaned, "But nobody tells you what to do when your mother dies and you're partially responsible for everything!"

Noah was using the sides of the tub as a ramp for his boats. He made whirring noises and a throaty "BOOM" when the miniature watercrafts splashed into the bubbly water. Olivia assumed he was so fixated on his simulations that there was little chance he overheard what was being said in the living room, but eventually he mumbled, "What's dies?"

"What was that, sweetie?" Olivia asked, hoping she'd misheard him.

"What's dies?" Noah repeated, looking up at her innocently, his long eyelashes damp and clumped together.

Olivia scooted closer to the tub and ran a hand through Noah's hair. "Sweet boy," she cooed, buying herself a few seconds, "When someone dies…it means their body…wasn't strong enough anymore, and it stops working."

Noah's little forehead scrunched up and he twisted his lip. "Like Mufasa?"

"Yes, sweet boy," Olivia smiled at him. "Like Mufasa."

"Mufasa talk to Simba from da sky!"

"Yes he did, sweetheart," Olivia replied, "But remember, that's a movie and a play you saw. It was a story. When people die, we don't see them again."

Noah dunked his boat under the water and let it go so it shot up and caught a little air. "Whoa!" He exclaimed. He repeated his trick a few more times. Olivia thought the questions were over; however, she breathed her relieved sigh too early.

"Mommy? You gonna die?"

Rather than being distressed, Noah merely appeared intensely curious, but Olivia had no idea how to respond to her five-year-old. She wished she could call for Ed, or call Lindstrom for that matter, but Noah needed an immediate answer.

She kissed his cheeks and bopped his nose. "No, sweetie. Mommy's not going to die. I'm right here with you."

"Daddy?"

"Daddy's not going to die either. We're super strong." Olivia paused, swallowing a lump in her throat, hoping she was saying the right things and she was neither damaging her precious child nor implanting an unattainable ideal.

"That 'cause Daddy do ten Noahs everrday!"

"Yes he does, doesn't he?"

"Uh-huh! And ten Maggies and ten Wyatts!"

"And Maggie and Wyatt can do the pushups now I heard," Olivia said.

"Yup! They stay on Daddy's back! Those babies are gettin' strong too!"

"Yes they are. Tuckers are strong."

"Uh-huh!"

Noah shivered a bit.

"Ready to get out, sweet boy? PJs and stories?"

"Want Sare Bear to read 'em!"

"I bet she'd love to read them. C'mon."

Olivia wrapped Noah in a towel, quickly blow-dried his hair, and helped him into his Superman pajamas. He sprinted into the living room and into Sarah's lap.

"Sare Bear, you read tonight!"

"Okie dokie, Noey Boey!"

She followed him into his room, leaving Ed and Olivia alone in the living room. He immediately knew something wasn't quite right.

"What is it?"

"He asked me what dies means."

Ed briefly closed his eyes. "We were that loud?"

"I didn't think so…I think he's just that…perceptive. He hears everything."

Ed raised his eyebrows flirtatiously, "Everything?"

She blushed and smiled coyly. "Ed!"

"Sorry," he apologized sincerely yet with his trademark smirk. "Can't help it…but, uh, damn, what are we supposed to say?"

Olivia played with her rings. "I read online it's best to be simple and direct."

"And I'm sure you did just that."

"Yeah," she mumbled, staring at the floor. She told Ed how she'd answered Noah's question, but repeating her own words only made her doubt them more.

"Hey," he said to her in a sort of sharp yet soft voice only Ed Tucker was capable of intoning. "That was perfect, Liv. C'mere." She sat with him in the oversized chair and rested her head against his chest as he stroked her hair. "You are such an amazing mother. Our kids, all of them, are incredibly lucky to have you."

"And you," she murmured, closing her eyes. Fatigue was setting in, and she was hoping Sarah wouldn't insist on staying much longer even though Olivia would stay up all night with her if that's what was needed.

"Yeah," he whispered.

They both found the ensuing silence strange, for Sarah was supposed to be reading and her narrations were always lively and involved complicated voices and, sometimes, the acting of scenes. When they went to check on them, Ed and Olivia both broke into placid smiles. Noah was under the covers but wide awake, trapped under Sarah's arm. He lifted his head slightly, not wanting to move too much and wake up his snoring sister.

"Sweet boy."

"Hey, bud," Ed rasped, "Sare conked out on ya?"

"Yeah," he whispered, "She say she gonna rest for a minute then she fell asleep!"

Ed moved to touch Sarah's shoulders but Noah objected. "No, Daddy! She tired."

"You want to sleep in our room, pal?"

"No, I stay here, I…" he strained a little to reach his nightstand, "I just gotta turn off the light!"

Olivia leaned down to kiss him and turned off the lamp. "I love you, sweet Noah."

"Love you."

Ed kissed him good night. "You sure you wanna let Sarah sleep here?"

Noah turned toward Sarah and gently patted her cheek. "Uh-huh." Then he turned on his other side, clutched Bernie to his chest, and closed his eyes.

…

Since her children functioned as morning alarm clocks, Olivia rarely relied on her phone for wake-up calls. Noah tended to sleep later than his previous norm of six a.m., so the first voice filtering into the master bedroom was typically Maggie's. Her one-syllable words, "Ma!" and "Da!" and "No!" began as soft coos but quickly grew into demanding bellows. If she didn't rouse Wyatt right away, he followed fifteen or so minutes later.

The previous night when Ed and Olivia left Noah's bedroom, they retreated back to the sofa for an hour or so and talked about happier subjects—the twins' birthday party, Mother's Day, and, looking even further ahead, summer vacation destinations. Eventually Ed felt Olivia's breathing get heavier and her body fully relax against his chest. He held her tightly for a while longer, resting his head against hers, savoring the closeness and admiring their knack for growing closer in times of crisis.

Ed knew Olivia planned to go into work, but as the sun rose and filtered into their bedroom, his wife showed no willingness to leave their bed. She shifted and sighed as she always did when she started waking up, and Ed slung an arm around her torso, spooning her under the crisp white sheet. The blanket and duvet were bunched at the end of the bed, having been kicked off in the course of the night.

"Mmmm," he droned in her ear, "This is nice."

Olivia made a few noises and tilted her head back, nestling it under his chin. She held his arm, keeping him close.

Ed peered at the baby monitor. "Looks like Sarah's got the kids under control." He watched her wrestle Maggie on the changing table and finally let her down with a fresh diaper but without her pajamas. Wyatt was next and compliantly laid on his back while Sarah cleaned him up.

Glancing past Olivia's nightstand to the door, he saw the lock wasn't engaged. Olivia groaned when he disentangled himself from the covers but smiled, eyes still closed, when she heard the click and felt him get more aggressive with his hands when he resumed his previous position.

…

"Sare bear, Maggs an' Wyatt get their bottles, you gotta put 'em in dere!" Noah pointed to the bottle warmer and generally directed the action in the kitchen. "Coffee here for you. I get my juice."

"Babies get bottles before breakfast?" Sarah asked.

"Uh-huh! Bottles den ya put 'em in the chairs!"

"What do they eat?" Sarah asked, pretending to be hopelessly ignorant and enjoying Noah's partially exasperated responses.

"Same stuff as me."

"What if I don't want coffee?"

"Wanna juice?"

"Can I have this juice?" Sarah held up a wine bottle.

"That's Mommy's and Daddy's for when it's dark," Noah retorted.

"Oh, okay." Sarah started the Kuerig and plucked the bottles from the warmer. Wyatt and Maggie, used to the sound of the machine, scrambled over and looked up at Sarah, grinning and smacking her legs with their little hands. "Feeding yourselves, twinsies?"

"Mommy and Daddy hold 'em, like this!" Noah sat on the floor and dragged Wyatt into his lap. Little brother leaned back against big brother and started sucking away.

"Well, this won't last much longer," Sarah sighed, mostly to herself, "C'mere, small sister." Maggie drank her bottle in Sarah's arms in front of the window overlooking Manhattan. "Too bad ya have to go to school today, Noey! It's a beautiful day!"

"Sare bear! It's Saturday! No school today!"

"How do you know it's Saturday?"

"iPad said so."

"Oh, well, whaddya want to do? Go on a shopping spree?"

"Yes!" Noah exclaimed, "But…think I haveta go to soccer. Gotta ask Daddy." Noah started to get up, but Sarah stopped him.

"Noey, it's really early. Let Daddy and Mommy sleep in. I promise you won't miss soccer." Sarah wandered into the kitchen and found a schedule on the refrigerator. "See," she pointed at the paper, "It's not for a little while. We have plenty of time."

"Kay."

"You sure know your schedule well. Do you have your calendar programmed into your phone and everything?"

"Don't have a phone," Noah said ruefully.

He adjusted his grip on Wyatt and told him not to fall back asleep. "Still haveta eat waffles! Waffle Wyatt! That's…LITERATION!" At this, Wyatt started laughing, spraying milk all over. Sarah rushed to their side and tossed some paper towels at Noah.

"Thanks," he said gratefully.

"No prob."

"Sare bear?"

"Yeah?"
"You buy me a phone?"

…

Ed moaned while he kissed Olivia, loving that she'd ceded control and let him all but have his way with her. It was exactly what he wanted—not necessarily to dominate—but to lavish all his affections and attention on making her disconnect and feel nothing but his absolute devotion and love for her. Their lovemaking was deliberate and tender. He kissed her softly and sensually as he worked her over and rocked his hips pressing into her slowly and deeply, causing Olivia to alternate between swallowing hard and gasping when she really wanted to let loose a barrage of amorous cries and shrieks. Holding in her verbal outbursts had the effect of making her even more sensitive, more keyed up, and seconds before completely melting around him she grabbed for a pillow only to have Ed knock it away.

"Uh-uh," he grunted, staring into her eyes with laser-like focus, still thrusting his hips at an agonizingly slow pace.

"Ed."

Her arms flailed all around and her jaw stiffened, protruding outward at a sharp angle. Nevertheless, she forced a grin, loving the torture, and lifted her shoulders so she could bite down on one of his.

It was the perfect mix of pleasure and pain and Ed groaned. Loudly. Olivia was certain they would be heard, that Noah would come running down the hall and bang on their door and ask if they were…

"Oh God."

"Yeah, right there," Ed rasped, "Right there, huh, Liv? Huh baby? Scream."

"You know I ca—"

He completely covered her mouth with his, swallowing the rest of "I can't" and her cries, kissing her through her climax and into his own, finally panting with his lips pressed against her face and his hands repeatedly brushing her damp hair back, his eyes only an inch or so above hers.

"Can ya tell?" He asked softly.

"Yes."

Her assured answer took him by surprise. "Thought you would say 'tell what?'"

"Don't need to," she replied matter-of-factly, gazing at him with still-dazed afterglow eyes.

"I'm never gonna stop making sure you know how much I love you, Liv. Never."

"Good." She smiled sweetly yet confidently, another uncharacteristic response. Usually when he turned toward the sentimental she partially echoed his words or teared up or simply kissed him.

"Good?"

"Yes…because…you…us…" her voice started to tremble, "This entire thing we have, makes me love myself." She ducked her head sheepishly. "Selfish, right?"

"No baby," he replied in a more light-hearted tone and let one hand drift down her body, "You're sexy when you're a little selfish and when you pretend you're not. Like…right now…" he swiped his fingers in between her legs, "You wanna be selfish, dontcha?" He narrowed his eyes and playfully smirked at her before answering his own question and starting a trail of kisses down her chest and abdomen. "Yeah…I know you do…you wanna be selfish just as much as I want you to come one more time."

…

An hour later, Olivia was showered and dressed in work clothes and practically skipping around the apartment saying her goodbyes, gathering files, her bag, finding her phone, losing it, finding it again, and reminding Ed that Noah's post-practice team snack was in the refrigerator.

"Got it, Lieutenant," he called to her from the couch.

Sarah stretched and yawned. "I guess I better go home and shower and change. Sure you don't mind if I tag along with you today, Daddy?"

"Nope."

"Either that or I tag along with Livvie."

"I'm sure you'll have more fun here," Olivia replied with a grin.

"I dunnnooo…" Sarah chewed a fingernail and glanced over to make sure her Dad was occupied. "Livvie, you look positively flushed!" She remarked in a hushed voice.

"Well, leaving here is a bit of a workout."

"Mmmhmm."

Olivia reddened even more. "Okay, everyone, Mommy's leaving. Love you! See you later!"

"Bye Mommy Loveyou!"

"Ma!"

"Mamamamama!"

"C'mon, babies! Mommy's gotta go to P'LICE! We go to prac'tis then SHOPPING!"

Noah started chasing the twins and urged Sarah to join in, so Ed took the opportunity to hustle down the hall after his wife.

"I didn't get a goodbye kiss," he pouted.

"Yes you did, but you can have another."

"There was too much time between the first one and you actually leaving.

"I didn't know there was a time constraint."

"There is. Five second rule."

"I think you're playing the wrong game, Captain."

He held her wrist and planted a semi-sloppy smooch on her lips. "I am definitely not playing a game."

She cocked an eyebrow and kissed him again before turning the doorknob.

"One thousand one. One thousand two. One thou—"

"I love you, Ed," she said breezily.

"Love you, Liv." He quietly shut the door and pressed his head to it; he always hated to see her go, but the separation anxiety was so intense in this particular moment he almost jogged after her to join her for the elevator ride, just for a few more minutes of alone time, kisses, and sweet banter. Surely the emotions of the past week were catching up with him, but he had never found himself wholeheartedly wishing she would think seriously about retiring until now.

….

#Tuckson