I do not own Divergent. Credit goes to Veronica Roth.
There were times that I continued to doubt Eric's feelings for me. He had kissed a couple other girls during our two month absence from one another and I couldn't stand it. It was wrong to bring it up again with him but this last time we left each other, I felt weird about him going back to Dauntless.
I was glad for the distraction I received with my family and all that was happening. Running a home or managing a household was harder than anticipated. My mother was going to give birth at any moment and all I could do was just be there for her. Things were different for handling my brothers and I was glad that Jack did not decide to bring Hannah here. He had his own family to think about soon enough. I had moved back home and was working on expanding my room. Amity initiation had been completed for several of us, even a few who had transferred here from another faction. Benjamin and Madeline had a small celebration dinner for a couple of us, well the ones who would be working with Benjamin in the fields.
Eric had appeared one day as I was working out in the fields. He wasn't alone though.
Technically he wasn't with the group either.
"Benjamin," nodded one of the Dauntless. Benjamin turned to him and greeted with a smile and a short handshake. I quickly turned away to avoid Eric's wandering eyes. I briefly hoped that he was looking for me. At the same time I didn't want to see him along with Phoebe and that other girl I had seen in the hallway with her arms wrapped around him. They were here as well.
"I'm assuming you all still have initiation?"
"Yes," the Dauntless guard replied to Benjamin. "We decided to try something new this year around. Initiates," the guy's voice shook. "I'm going to assume that none of you have been outside the Wall so take it in because this is where some of you will be working."
My heart leaped at the chance to see Eric out here every day.
"This is where the Amity farm their crops, our crops, the City's crops" he added with a tone of respect. "As much as you all may think less of the Amity, if it wasn't for them there would probably be no wool, no cotton, no food," he paused, "And no water. They work tirelessly to supply the City with such items. And they do that outside the City's Wall. Many people view working out on the Wall as degrading work. Out here, you protect workers like them," he said.
I could only imagine that this Dauntless guy was talking about us.
"That is why you need to be able to handle any situation bravely, courageously," another pause, "dauntlessly. That is how every single one of you can help this City to function, to balance. If you don't take initiation seriously then there is no place for you in this faction or in this City."
I could only imagine that if I had transferred there those would be the words that I would be hearing right now. I also knew that if Eric was listening to what his instructor was telling him then Eric would not be working out on the Wall. Knowing who his mother was and what they wanted him to do and how he had taken that loss from his first fight, I knew that Eric would strive for greatest in Dauntless. He wouldn't be working on the Wall just so that we could see one another every day. No, I shook my head slightly. He would be working at something important. And even though his instructor made working on the Wall, guarding Amity farmers sound important. I knew that there were bigger fish to fry out there for Eric.
It was then that I turned around and was met with my stormy sky eyes. I knew it was a silly Amity thought but I always thought about that when I looked at Eric. A small smile tugged at his lips and quickly it disappeared. Eric stood separately from the group and I briefly wondered why he was so distant from all of them.
Just as they were about to leave I felt a tug on my skirt and turned to look around. Eric was already a couple feet away and walking back towards the group. I patted my skirt until I felt a small object on the side. I pulled it out of my pocket. A smooth black rock was in my hand with a small inscription stating 'I am her Erudite and she is my Amity'.
I found myself at the docks a couple days later. I had been given a small tablet and though it was nothing like I had seen in Erudite, it was the best form of technology that Amity had. I worked the numbers on there as quickly as I could before I set it back in the truck and took off down the hallway where I knew Eric would be waiting.
I had just rounded the corner when someone's arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me back. I let out a small scream before a hand covered my mouth and I was pushed up against the wall. I don't know what compelled me to but I pulled back my free hand, formed a fist and let it go at my attacker.
"Ow, JoyAnna," the figure held his face and then took a step back.
I covered my mouth. "Eric," I gasped.
"Dammit you really have a punch there," he shook his head a bit and then continued to hold his hand to his nose.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't know it was you. I didn't even think that..."
Eric chuckled. "It's fine really," he took a step closer and then pulled me to him. I noticed a little blood trickling down his nose and pushed him back. "I can't hug you now either?"
I didn't respond. I ripped a piece of the bottom of my skirt and held it against his nose. I remembered a few things from school and also from my mother when the boys would get hurt and she had to tend to them. I carefully made sure that Eric was okay before I pulled him into the hug that he had been waiting for.
"I liked your gift," I whispered running my fingers through his hair and down the base of his neck.
"I hoped you would. I read it in your journal," he kissed my neck and then pulled back holding the journal in hand. I blushed and looked down. "There were several people who referred to me as your Erudite. Apparently," he placed a soft hand under my chin so I would look up. "You also refer to me as having cloudy sky eyes."
"Don't laugh at me but I felt like I was looking at the sky when I first saw you. Then when we were in the library I noticed the slight grey-ish color they held and likened them to the clouds in the sky whenever you looked at me."
"You said those eyes didn't look the same when we talked on the communicator," Eric's smile disappeared.
"I couldn't see the clouds. I couldn't see the storm behind them," I ran a hand over his eyebrows.
"That's such an Amity thing to say," he smiled again causing me to blush. "That is why you're my Amity," he leaned in and gave me a small kiss. "I'm sorry again about your Dad. I read about your first week in Amity," he whispered with his lips just mere centimeters from my own. "I hated knowing that you found comfort in Gregory. But what I really hated the most was reading about how much you wanted to forget me."
"You tried to forget me too," I replied.
"I know," Eric pulled back and cupped my cheek. "I read almost everything about what happened, even during the day that you saw me with Elsa." So that was the girl's name, I thought. "I'm so sorry that I hurt you JoyAnna. I never meant to. If I could I would take all of it back, even the words that I said to you after. In fact, I wrote some things in here JoyAnna. Will you read it for me?"
"I will," I answered before resting my head against his chest.
Eric's arms stayed around my body clinging onto me as I buried myself into him. I don't know how long we stayed there only holding onto one another and saying nothing. I heard the delivery truck honk and knew that Jack was finished.
"I wish you could come back with me," my hand started to fist in Eric's shirt.
"I wish I could too," he whispered before pressing a kiss to my forehead. "I'll see you by the loading docks again?"
I nodded, "Twelve days from now, remember that."
Eric nodded, held me close for a while before tearing himself away and heading back towards the end of the tunnel.
When I had gotten back to the docks, Jack was still outside talking to one of the workers there. I headed over to the truck but not before catching the guard speaking about my father. He spoke about him as though he knew him. On the ride home Jack did not bring up the conversation with the guard rather he spoke about how things were going in the house and if I had settled on a routine with the boys.
"I changed a couple things but nothing major," I smiled letting him talk about this instead.
"I saw Jensen working out in the yard the other day," he hinted.
Ah, so that is what he wanted to talk about.
"Our water has been coming in slow from the pump," I stated. "I discovered that one of Jimmy Bean's shirts were stuff in there. Apparently he used it to stop the water so that he could fill up tub."
"What happened to the plug or if he wants to take a tub bath there is the wash bucket?"
"The plug is missing," I took a deep breath. "I think Jimmy was playing with that too," I smiled as Jack started to laugh. "And the wash bucket has a few holes in it." Jack stopped and looked over at me. "We're working on it," I assured him. "That's why Jensen was out in the yard. I wanted him to go through the pipes and see if something was clogged in there and that is where we found Jimmy's shirt."
"I'm guessing he didn't tell anyone either that his shirt got sucked down into the pipe," Jack chuckled.
"No he didn't," I shook my head at my brothers. "Hey Jack, what was that guard talking to you about Dad?"
Jack looked over at me and then back to the road. "It's nothing JoyAnna."
"Nothing," I questioned.
"JoyAnna," Jack sighed, "I would tell you but I think that Mom should be the one to let you know."
"Mom knows about this," I looked intently at Jack. "If I'm managing the household then..."
"Then Mom will let you know when she lets you know," Jack repeated again.
I dropped the subject with a huge sigh and turned to look outside the window. I hated that these trucks would drive at such a slow pace. I really wanted to get home now. The only problem was that when I got home Mother was resting and instead of bothering her, I decided to get the house ready for when the boys were finished with school.
By the time Mother woke up from her nap I was busy with the boys out in the yard. We were taking a small break when a group of Dauntless passed by. Among them were two girls who looked near my age. I grabbed a bucket and walked over to them.
"Good Afternoon to you," I smiled. "Would you like some water?"
They all looked at me with confused looks on their faces.
"I know that Dauntless works hard for us and I wanted to show my appreciation," I kept smiling.
One of the girls and two of the guys stopped but the rest kept walking. The girl was the first to drink and then the two boys. They were starting to throw some water at each other and although I wanted to scold them I hesitated when the girl came to stand directly in front of me. Her hair was light brown with dark red strands. It was the same dark red as the dress that Mom had made for me. She glanced over at me a couple times and I just continued to smile at her waiting for the boys to return the bucket.
"You're not scared of us," she stated more than asked.
"Is there a need to be," I questioned. "You all protect us."
"Yes but," she looked back at the two guys and then at me. "Normally people are intimidated when they come across Dauntless guards, especially young Amity girls," she eyed me out.
I shrugged and cast my eyes down. What was she expecting me to do, run away in horror?
"What are you doing here," she nodded behind me.
"Fixing my house's water pipe," I answered.
"You were out here in the yard," she asked in disbelief.
"Yes," I nodded with a smile.
It was then that one of the boys cursed and instead of flinching back, I climbed the fence to see if he was okay. The girl continued to stare at me in wonder.
"What's wrong," I asked kneeling down next to him.
"I uh," he shook his head as if refusing my help. Regardless of what growl left him, I continued to look at his hand noting that the cut was deep. He hissed and tried to pull it away but I refused and kept on cleaning it and then tied it with a cloth that the girl handed to me. "Thanks," he said withdrawing his hand quickly.
"You should make sure that your doctor ban..."
"I don't need to see a doctor," he yelled.
"Fine," I huffed, "then let it get infected. You won't be able to shoot or fight or do anything that you," I challenged.
"Look here you little Amity..."
"Now," I waved my hand to silence him and stared to stand. "You said your thanks and you can be on your way like a good Dauntless soldier."
He stood up and looked at me with a harsh gaze before turning back to his hand and then walking away.
"Taylor hates doctors," the other guy said. "That was sure brave of you to take him on like that."
"Brave and stupid," the girl added. "Don't go approaching every Dauntless you meet, okay," she told me which made my head snap up at her. "Not all of us are nice or will treat pretty Amity girls like you with respect."
I nodded while the other boy came back with the bucket. It only held a bit of water inside. He smirked before pulling away. I turned back to the girl to see her eyeing me out. She too left quickly.
It was not long until I came across the group again. The girl was the first one to greet me and I gave her a small wave. She and the two boys stopped by again for some water. I noticed the one who cut his hand didn't look at me. I asked her questions about the initiation process while the other two boys drank water which she was skeptical to answer but did either way.
"I heard about a place called the Chasm," I asked remembering that was the first thing I read about in the journal that Eric had continued to write. I hadn't really finished reading what he wrote since I had been writing stories of my own.
"It's a dangerous place but it's also beautiful," she smiled.
"Sounds exciting," I smiled too.
The girl eyed me out like she normally did before returning to tell her story. Over the next six days it had become a habit of hers to stop nearby our yard in the later afternoon, have a drink of water, a fruit and then engage in conversation with me. We had become close friends I would say despite me not knowing her name. I knew that we would ask one another eventually but we never did.
On the sixth day she told me that I would not be seeing her for two weeks.
"Why?"
"We work on a two week schedule. Two weeks guarding and then two weeks off," she said. "Before I went back in, I wanted to know if there was anything you wanted from Dauntless."
"That's a generous offer."
She hid a smile and then turned to the guys that were waiting for her. "I can tell that you're not like most Amity. You," she stopped and then looked at me. "You seem to be too curious and too reckless at the same time. It's almost as if you were made for Dauntless."
"Can I tell you a secret?"
She nodded.
"I know we're not supposed to talk about our aptitude test but..."
"You got Dauntless," she smiled. I nodded. I didn't want to tell her that I had got Erudite as well. "I can tell. Do you regret it?" I looked back at her. "Not choosing Dauntless, I mean," she asked.
"Sometimes," I answered.
"Did you stay because you heard about our initiation," she asked.
"No, that's not the reason why," I said. "But I did hear about initiation from a friend."
She raised an eyebrow. "I don't recall seeing an Amity in Dauntless."
"He's from Erudite."
"Even stranger," she let out a small laugh. "An Amity who is friends with an Erudite born initiate who transferred to Dauntless," she shook her head. Then she titled her head at me and then looked off into the distance. "You still see him, don't you?"
"I do, how did you..."
"Amity comes to deliver food to us every other week," she stated looking at me. "I'm sure you found a way to get onto that truck."
"I did."
"You should really be careful." I opened my mouth in response but she kept talking. "Dauntless initiation changes people. It could very well change your friend. The once charming person you thought you knew," she looked away and pulled some grass out with her fingers, "they'll change into someone else, someone meaner. I wouldn't want you to get your hopes up that your friend will always be the same."
She had given me a lot to think about that night. So that meant that initiation did do something to Eric. What it was, I was not sure. I did not read that part in the journal yet. I was just about to read it that night when I heard a noise in our backyard. I hurried to inspect it, watching from the back porch. Suddenly the Dauntless girl appeared and ran quickly towards me.
"What are you doing here," I asked her looking around.
"I really shouldn't be doing this but here," she took the bag that she had and gave it to me. "Take care of yourself, Amity. And remember what I said about your friend."
I wanted to reject her gift but that wouldn't be so kind. She looked uncertain at leaving but quickly gave me a hug and then left back into the dark. I took the bag straight up to my room.