X/ I DON'T LIKE MYSELF VERY MUCH RIGHT NOW. I AM SOOOOO SORRY EVERYBODY! I KNOW IT'S BEEN FOREVER SINCE I PUT UP A REAL CHAPTER…AND I'M STILL NOT. THIS IS A I-CAN'T-WRITE-A-REAL, DECENT-CHAPTER, SO-HERE'S-SOME-SEMI-ENTERTAINING-FILLER-WHILE-I'M- TRYING-TO-GET-MY-ACT-TOGETHER CHAPTER.

I'M SO SORRY. BUT I HOPE THIS BRINGS A SMILE TO YOUR FACES ANYWAYS.

Ch. 26: Contrary Wise

The time is pie. The location-the OC conference room in my head. Madness? THIS. IS. …Actually, it pretty much is madness. Let the obvious signs of mental issues begin!

C.J looked down at the typed order on the page in her hands, frowning. She glanced up from her place at the front desk over her fellow OC's. C.J is the oldest OC, plus the protagonist of the first story, so she heads these meeting by reasons of seniority. Though, for reasons I, Dren 'Nerd' Reet, can't quite explain, these conferences are held in what seems to be a fourth grade Writing class room.

C.J sighed and told us why we were here, "The Boss sent down an order. It says that, due to her massive writer's block on the main story, a time crunch between writing and homework, and the fact she hasn't posted a real chapter in about a month, she wants us to dance for the readers like the monkeys we are…her words, not mine."

Jade leaned back…or tried to. It was hard, because these desks are so tinie tiny. "So why the hell am I here?! DC doesn't even own me!"

I remembered suddenly, "Oh, that's right!" Yuri snickered. I noticed that he had given up on trying to sit in the desk, so he now sat on it. "You fit in so well around here, it's easy to forget that Kiki's-stories-of-awesomeness owns you."

He looked at Daniel, sitting to his right, "Pass the Chex-mix?"

C.J raffled through the pages of the order, chewing her lip until she found it, "Ahhh…ah! Here it is…Jade, you're free to go." The multi color eyed woman hopped up from her desk, fist pumping, "Yes!" She threw a peace sign as she walked out the pencil and book worm decorated door, "Later!"

Daniel signed, "So, what degrading, humiliating, demeaning, and demented task does the Boss want us to do for her amusement?" Yuri looked around, taking poll of all of us for the first time. "…Wait, where are Alister and Alistair? They're OC's to."

C.J waved off the question, "Eh, something about Roll Call only no doubt. There are some readers who didn't read New Girl, and therefore would be lost."

"That would be correct Blonde." I jumped and turned around, seeing a random girl with short brown hair and sad brown eyes, wearing a black t-shirt under a denim jacket on blue jeans closing the door behind her.

Zoe, speaking up for the first time, asked, "…Who are you?" The brown haired girl sighed and pointed back, "That b**** pulled me out of her other story to reff this little filler chapter. Call me Rose."

Rose pulled what looked like a skull shaped Halloween bowl out of the gray plaid backpack she had slung over her shoulder. She held it out to her nearest person, me. "Everybody pick your poison." I tilted an eyebrow up at her, but put my hand in the bowl, coming out with a slip of paper. Printed on the paper was

253

I gave Rose a look as I passed the bowl to Zoe. "What's this all about?" Rose shrugged, "You think I know what that crazy nit-wit is thinking? Once you've got your numbers, head to the room with the number on it. My work here is done. Later, people whose names I never bothered to lean."

The girl left and C.J looked at her slip, frowning, "…What an odd OC." Zoe looked back, "She must be based on a friend, from the way she talks about DC." We all nodded in agreement and Daniel got up from the desk, "Welp, no sense in delaying the inevitable humiliation/mutilation we're all about to suffer. Let's roll."

Zoe paled and had to be helped to the door.

Outside the class room, a long white hallway stretched out before us. I sighed. I can't say if ALL minds are like this, but the layout of DC's head is always changing. When we went into the conference room, this had been a Chucky Cheese, for who knows what reason. The only time it stays constant is when DC is putting us in actual scenarios, like Wonderland.

Along the hallway, on each side, was a gray door marked only by painted on numbers. The doors didn't seem to be in any order, 4 being next to 3654. Zoe glanced nervously down at her slip and approached door number 4.

She glanced back and tried to smile, "Well…later…I hope."

Then, she was gone.

I smiled. There's no way DC would do anything TOO terrible…right? (DC, watching on a monitor. And of course, they're in her head, so she can hear their thoughts. "Terrible? I can do whatever the f*** I want! It's my head and you're all technically my split personalities! I own your souls!")

I found my room number a way and entered, saying bye to the few of the OC's who were still looking for their doors.

….

….

Oh.

My.

GOD.

It's a room. Filled with manga. I looked around, awe struck. Well, not filled with manga. Just half of the room. From the door, a line was drawn up the middle. A table sat in the middle with three chairs; one on the far side, two on the side closest to me. The walls on one side were filled with all kinds of manga and anime DVDs, while the other was filled with…non-fiction literature? BBOOOOOORRRRIIIIINNNNGGGG!

I was so busy gawking, I didn't even notice that there were people in at the table. I heard a cough and I looked to the girls sitting there. The one facing me was a very tall girl with large, dark brown eyes set in a pale face and REALLY long dark brown hair. I couldn't see much other than the trench coat she was wearing. The other girl wasn't looking at me.

I smiled and looked at the brown haired girl, "Ah, who are you?" The girls smiled politely, "I'm an OC for an upcoming story whose name is not to be disclosed yet." I nodded, "Ah."

The girl gestured to the empty seat, "Please, sit down. We have much to discuss." I smiled and took the seat next to the other girl, turning to introduced myself…when I stopped dead.

The girl had shoulder length, neatly cut black hair held back in a white head band. She wore a lilac blouse over dark blue jeans and simple tennis shoes. She was the picture of a neat, normal, academic young lady…EXCEPT SHE HAD MY FACE!

I jumped out of my chair and backed up until my back hit the wall, "Wha?! Who the heck are you?!" The girl looked up, an irritated look on her face, "I'm Dren Reet." I pointed at her, gape mouthed, "You can't be Dren Reet, I'M Dren Reet!"

The girl on the other side of the table waved her hands, "Actually, you're BOTH Dren Reet. For the purpose of fun, DC had decided that along with a few tasks, she would introduce the OC's and readers to the Anti-OC's. In other words, characters who are the exact OPPOSITE of the original OC."

I sat down, trying to breath. Stupid DC. She nearly gave me a heart attack! The girl pointed to the other me, "Since she is the opposite of you, and you normally go by the nickname Nerd, she simply goes by Dren. I will address you as such."

Dren nodded, looking bored, "Very well. May we get started?" Uggg…she's so…PLAIN! And normal! And looks like me! It gives me the willies!

The girl nodded and pulled out a packet, looking over it to herself, "You got off lucky Nerd. You drew the room assigned to the easiest task. It's just a simple survey. Both of you, answer as honestly as possible."

Me and my doppelganger nodded. The girl smiled and looked at the first question, "Question 1: How do you feel about the progress this story arch is making?" I grinned, "It's so fun! Lot's of twists and turns, and soooo much drama!" Dren snuffed, "Random. I swear, DC is pulling all this out of a hat."

I gave the other me a disapproving look. We know that DC just hops on the laptop and makes stuff up as she goes, yet somehow manages to write it as though she planned every word in advance. But that doesn't mean you should say it out loud.

The girl smiled and nodded, "Right. Question 2: Where do you think the story will go next?"

I tapped my chin. That was a toughie. Even we OC's don't know what to do until DC writes up the chapter. And she always manages to make it so…weird. Hmmm….

Dren rolled her eyes, "From the way the other stories have gone, either they'll end up on some epic assassination journey, or they'll be hunted one by one by a demonic little girl." I huffed at the look alike, "I don't think she's THAT repetitive." The other Dren sighed, "Then what, pray tell, do YOU think she'll do with this hodge-podge story?" I tapped my chin, "Maybe…we'll find out that Wonderland is really an alien experiment on human emotions?" (DC is currently laughing in her office "Not quite Nerd, not quite!")

The girl nodded thoughtfully, "Sounds twisted and random enough to be DC. Well, on to question 3. How much do you hate DC?" At the same time, Dren and I answered, "More than can be put into words."

The girl nodded, "I understand. Well, that's all the questions. Nerd, you're free to go!" I smiled and shook the girls hand, "Great! I look forward to seeing when your story comes out!" The girl smiled, "So do I. DC sais it'll be next after your story. Anyways, good luck with the rest of Roll Call."

I chirped thanks and said bye to the other me as I opened the door. I came out back in the hallway, feeling ok. I smiled sunnily, "Well…that wasn't too bad."

….

"F********! HOW THE F**** DID YOU GET SO STRONG?!" C.J's task was apparently to arm wrestle with her Anti-OC. The Anti-C.J gave a sultry smile as she leaned over the table, her tight black tank top gaping at the top. Her tank was cut off so high and so low cut, it might've passed as her bra.

"All those athletics I do really helps build muscles. Those and my…extra-curricular activities." C.J gritted her teeth, this f****** sk***.

Yes, the Anti-C.J is, by the usual use of the word, a sl**.

C.J glared at the other her, unable to get the image of herself in skin tight shorts, three inch strappy heels, and dangly earrings out of her head. Too much skin…too much of MY skin!

C.J tried to turn her embarrassment into strength, but the other C.J was just as strong. Gritting her teeth, she declared, "F***! I REFUSE TO BE HUMILIATED!"

…..

Yuri was currently fishing with his Anti…fishing for piranha…with hunks of steak on a two inch piece of pink yarn.

While trying not to get his fingers bitten off, Yuri tried to yank the biting fish off the meat and into the ice chest next to him. The one who gets the most of them wins…and if you run out of meat…improvise.

Yuri glanced at his Anti and felt contempt well up. This guy…they looked like twins. He even wore the uniform for the prison. Except this guy…well, he was a *****.

He was dark, he was broody, and he was smirking at Yuri's pain when one of the little snappers caught him. And Yuri just found his other to be generally irritating. And the worst of it…he was a total perv.

He had asked Yuri some rather *cough* ungentlemanly questions about regular Zoe. HIS Zoe. Being a general creep Yuri could deal with, but vulgar words towards a lady-especially this lady- will not be tolerated with.

This ****** is SO going down.

…..

Daniel gulped, silently thanking God that his task didn't involve getting near this…THING in the room with him. The task was to hold two buckets full of water, balancing on a bar for as long as I can. Barefoot. Over office chair mats. OVERTURNED office chair mats. Have you ever stepped on those little barbs of the bottoms of those things?! It f****** hurts!

And, DC being the sadist b**** that she is, threw a hundred Legos into that pile of pain.

But NOTHING was worse than the thought of getting near his…Anti, he supposed. That guy…Daniel involuntarily shuddered. It didn't look much different from Daniel. All but the clothes were identical, actually.

But…during the last year he had been in his mother's care, he had seen a lot of people come in and out of the house. Not all of them were right in the head. So Daniel knew how to spot someone who was off. This guy made those people look like the saints of all that is holy and logical.

He kept this grin on his face the whole time, like the Joker. The Batman one, not Wonderland Joker. Any question thrown his way was responded to, but…creepily. Not to mention the HUGE difference between Daniel and Anti-Daniel. Daniel loved his sister, cared about her, and became a ghost so he could watch over her.

Anti-Daniel hated his little sister, wished he could kill her, and became a ghost to haunt Anti-C.J because SHE WAS THE ONE WHO KILLED HIM. IN SELF-DEFENSE.

At that thought, Daniel recovered his courage. There is NO way I can lose to someone who would willingly harm their little sister.

….

Zoe screamed and ran as she tried to outrun the other Zoe. The latter preferring to go by the name Z.

As luck would have it, the sweet, innocent Zoe got the task of hand to hand combat with her Anti. And let me tell you, Z is nuttier than Anti-Danny.

Z chuckled as she pulled the blade out of the padded wall, "What, afraid of getting your hands a little dirty Princess?"

Zoe quaked in fear of the girl who looked like her. I must say that of all the Anti's, Zoe and Z looked the least alike. Zoe's quiet and secluded appearance was opposed by Z's wild wardrobe. Her hair was cut short and dyed with dark green streaks, her face painted with heavy black make up. And her outfit…a leather pantsuit that had artfully been shredded. And somehow, the Anti-girl's tiny physique only made it MORE terrifying.

Z motioned Zoe to come at her, "Come on, I'll give you a free shot~! Just pick up a weapon and swing!" Zoe trembled, unable to even look at the rack of various weapons. They made her sick.

Z tilted her head, a skeletal grin on her face, "Not taking? Too bad." Z hefted the katana, "My turn~!"

Zoe fled as Z charged at her, screeching for somebody to save her.

Z smiled and said something, but it was drowned out by her counterparts screams. What she said, unheard by others, was "Relax~! It's just a little game~."

…

I looked up at the ceiling, which had changed from white tile to rainbow hippie puke while I was taking the survey. "I wonder how everyone else is doing?"

GOSH, NOW I FEEL KINDA BAD FOR DOING THAT TO ZOE :( OH WELL. I HOPE YOU ALL AT LEAST GOT A LAUGH OUT OF THIS WEIRD FILLER, AND HOPEFULLY I CAN PUT OUT A REAL CHAPTER SOON! BYE BYE FOR NOW!