Oh Maker, y'all. This chapter. You have no idea how long I've had parts of this chapter written. Here we go, The Last Straw.
Bioware owns all, I'm just grateful to play in the sandbox.
Shelter: Chapter 26
"Anders. This is a sewer. I mean, the Bone Pit was one thing but..." She exchanged a glance with Varric and Fenris and only just managed to keep the whine out of her voice. Oh, she'd be buying the good stuff after this.
"I know...but Hawke, this is the only place. I wouldn't make you if it wasn't important." He gave her a sweet smile. "Please?"
"Importuning mage." But Aeryn walked into the reek with a grin and so distracted, she missed the dark look that flashed across Anders' features.
Sebastian had a meeting at the Keep so it was just her, Fenris and Varric on this jaunt. Fenris had at first flatly refused to accompany them but when Aeryn had shrugged and started to leave, he'd followed, muttering something about not letting her walk in the dark alone.
An hour later, she reeked as much as the sewer. She might never get the smell out of her new leathers, she thought, plucking something rank off her sleeve and tossing it aside. Anders leaned down to ask quietly, "Hawke. Can I ask you something else? In private?" She shrugged and waved Varric and Fenris off.
"C'mon, Broody. Let's go find something that'll kill our sense of smell." Varric grumbled. Fenris glanced back, with a tight expression and she tossed her head indicating she'd see them later.
He shut the door to the clinic. Anders leaned against the examining table and watched her for a minute. She'd lost a bit of weight...nothing serious, he knew from the last exam he'd given her. Just tired and still grim over the elves and the lack of contact with Bethany and everything else Kirkwall was pressing on her. Vael wasn't taking as good of care of her as...he bit off the thought and asked his question.
"I need to get into the Chantry, tonight. I need you to distract the Grand Cleric."
Aeryn blinked at him. Why would... "Anders, what kind of a spell is this? Why in flames do you need in the Chantry?" She had a creeping feeling starting along the base of her spine.
"Don't ask so many questions. Just...help me?"
"You've known me for nearly eight years. Tell me again to not ask questions." She couldn't help the scoff.
"Please?" But she was a born liar. She knew deception when it tried to look her in the eye.
"No! Tell me what this is. Now."
Hurt and anger gleamed in his gaze and he felt justified in a righteous protest. "You'll fight blood mages without a question for Fenris, kill Varric's brother, slaughter half a clan of innocent elves for your pet blood mage. You're risking an open civil war for your sodding prince. I just need you to talk to an old woman for a few minutes, Hawke!"
"And none of them lied to me about why, Anders." She narrowed her eyes. She'd been too distracted recently. Something had changed. This was... not right. "You're lying about something. Tell me what it is." She searched his face and inwardly blanched at what she saw, the desperation and finality. "This isn't going to separate you from Justice, is it?"
Her voice had gone calculating and smooth and he flinched away from it. "No."
"Tell me what you're doing. Sodding Void, Anders!" She slapped the table beside him, tired of circles, sending him jumping. "You know I'll help you if I can. Just tell me. Don't make me go in blind."
"I..." Almost. He'd almost told her. But she would stop him. Before Vael had won her, she'd have been on his side. But now? He shook his head.
She wasn't a mage, she'd never understand. Vengeance whispered, she'd left her sister to the Gallows, when she could have had Bethany free in a trice. She'd hunted mages for Meredith. She wasn't his ally anymore. "Go home, princess. Thanks for the charitable visit."
She stepped back as though he'd slapped her. "Fine. I'm going to find out, Anders. You know I will." She stalked out of the door. Go and clean up and talk to Sebastian. She doubted Anders had it in him to try and do whatever it was on his own. He'd avoided the Chantry like a plague zone since Karl.
She felt his eyes on her back.
She would find out.
That was what she'd intended anyway. The crawl through the Pit yesterday and the sewer fight today had taken their toll, though. She'd slept poorly, even for her, since the elves. Warm and sleepy after her bath, she padded through the silent, empty house. Orana was out for the afternoon for her lesson and Bodahn and Sandal had some appointment about Orlais. Sebastian hadn't returned, either. She'd just wait for him outside, under the tree. He'd come looking, he always did. The early autumn sun was warm, the grass was fragrant and soft beneath the rug and...
The frustrating meeting had Sebastian seething and tense. He had expected to eventually come up against some resistance to the idea of his return, but this had been more of a reluctance to change rather than outright disapproval. Goran wasn't a good Prince, but he had given many of the nobles free reign in a way that was entirely new to Starkhaven. Not a bad thing, either, he realized. It made the gathering of support more difficult, though.
He was having a little difficulty explaining that he was amenable to changes but not to complete overhaul of a system that had worked well for a very long time. The smooth politicking was a different world than the part of the Chantry he was accustomed to, though he wasn't so naive as to think it didn't occur there as well. Something else he needed to learn. Now he knew why Varric was always encouraging him to take more part in Kirkwall's society.
Now, though, he just wanted his bow in hand and a target. Simplicity at it's finest.
He wasn't surprised to spy Aeryn in the garden. On the nicest days it was her wont to spread a rug, lean against the chestnut tree in her garden and doze.
He didn't like to disturb her. He knew she wasn't sleeping well. It was one of many things that had begun to worry him.
Her moods shifted like quicksilver these days. She'd started picking at the good food Orana and she kept on their table. She focused too much on the safety and comfort of her companions and random strangers and ignored her own. He needed to get her out of Kirkwall, away for a while at least from the constant requests of the Champion's attention. Yet one more reason to continue his pursuit of the throne.
Sebastian knew the thrum of the string would wake her. But the sun had shifted and she was in some danger of a sunburned nose, anyway. He was a little surprised, then, when he hadn't heard her stir after he'd been shooting for a quartermark or so. He stripped off his tunic and went back to work. Long shot. Short range. Precise. And yet more precise. Draw and release and breathe. As much a meditation as anything he reached in his piety.
Aeryn woke to see him as soon as the first arrow struck home, dead center as always. Watching under lowered lashes she observed as he moved gracefully, a study in power and control. She knew the strength it took to draw that bow. He'd allowed her a try or two, but her strength was distributed differently. She'd barely gotten a half pull in, though she'd never had a problem with the shortbow she'd often carried in the past.
There had been something she meant to tell him, she thought, fuzzily.
He stripped off his tunic and her mouth went dry and her thought escaped her. Sweat soaked and well warmed up, he was temptation personified, his skin shining golden in the sun. The veins roped in his arms as he tensed. The movement rippled up his ridged abdomen and across his back, tuning muscles in tiny increments. A wet throb started, hot between her thighs. Maker, he didn't even have to touch her anymore, just the sight of him and the memory of what he could do, how he could make her feel.
Where would she begin, this time? That gorgeous dip right above his hipbone or...A droplet of sweat slipped down from his neck to linger right at the join of his shoulder to his spine. Or...oh, that place where the vein wrapped over his wristbone. There. She let her hand drift down her stomach.
He heard her shift, finally. And then she sighed just like...oh, my... His hand moved reflexively to unstring his bow.
"You've still got arrows, love." He glanced back at her and then turned at the sight, a sly crooked smile on her lips, her knees splayed and her skirt rucked up to the tops of her thighs.
"Aeryn..." He felt poleaxed, his jaw dropped just a bit. Her clever fingers right up her...
"I'm watching your form. See how you work with a distrac...tion. You finish your...ah, set."
Sebastian was suddenly dizzy as the blood drained from his extremities elsewhere.
Holy Beloved. That was... "Back to work, archer or I'm going inside. Alone." She actually sounded annoyed.
Right. He managed to not completely miss the next shot, though it was only barely in the ring. "Hmm..that's disa...ah...disappointing."
"Wicked lass." He was right in the center next shot. She had him hard as stone and he adjusted his stance to deal with that, not usually a problem in a fight. He shot a twin, neatly cleaving the other arrow and snorted at his attempt to impress her.
"Oh…oh, better." Her voice had gone low and breathy. Maker...enough...
Sebastian loosed the last five arrows in quick succession. Fairly sure the last one hit...already sliding between her taut thighs, batting her fingers away, growling to find her in smalls. He dragged them down and off and nimbly unstrapped her thigh sheath, casting it aside before nosing into her folds to find her soaking heat. He sucked hard on her clit, just to hear her wail. The sound sent a smile to his lips and a shudder of want through his body.
She dug her fingers into his hair to drag him up to her mouth, tasting herself on him, tang and salt. "You...you need work on that...hunh..middle t..target."
He balanced over her on one arm and worked open his laces and she made quick work of her top, baring herself to the waist. "That so?" He swiveled lean hips to push off the leather trousers and she reached to him, rubbing her slicked fingers over the head of his cock and he jerked in her hand before he pushed it aside and pressed back her knee to fit himself against her. The need to be inside her like drums in his ears.
"Ye...ahhh..." He hilted himself in one stroke, lifting her into his lap in a smooth movement and Aeryn marveled at the strength of him again. She rolled her spine, rocking and wrapping her legs around his waist, plastering herself against his overheated slick skin. "Not...uh quite as...mmm...smooth...as it c. be."
"I...Maker...will take that into considera...tion..oh..." She was worrying his earlobe with sharp teeth. Her short nails digging in his back, his shoulder. Little wild cat...He was done with practice. He braced one arm against the tree behind her head in case she leaned too far back, wrapped the other around her, pistoning his hips as she whimpered and lapped her tongue along his jaw, swiveling to work her pelvis. He licked the top of one breast, then nibbled to its twin.
"Harder, ah, that's..." He worked inside of her, felt like he was up in her throat and oh, holy flames, so gloriously full. Her heel dug into his straining arse, as though to push him closer.
He glanced up to see her eyes flash as her slick muscles contracted and dragged around his cock. The consuming rush, the need to come and fill her up crept through his veins. "Aeryn. So good, you feel just..." He pressed openmouthed kisses to her throat, tasting the salt and honey of her flesh.
White lights behind her eyes burned into sparks slamming down her spine and her head snapped back as she shouted. She hadn't come down from the first orgasm when he flipped her onto her back and pulled her leg up over his shoulder for the better, deeper angle. Sebastian slid his hand down her back, finding and circling the dimples for a moment, to dig his long fingers into the firm flesh of her bottom and shifted his other hand to strum her swollen clit with his thumb.
"Sing for me, Aeryn... come on, leannan…" His voice, rough and urgent dragged over her, one more sensation to her over-stimulated senses.
"Sebastian...oh, Sebastian..." Keening, sweet, the way she bent back, he'd swear she didn't have a bone in her spine. He drove into her, letting the sound of her cries spiral through him.
"Oh, here we go, love, good lass..." He bit his lip trying to hold off for her one more time as she clenched around him, scalding hot and wet.
She arched and bucked and came apart underneath him with a shriek as he let himself go, thrusting on every word. "Never ever going to get enough of you, mo chridhe. Holy sweet...ah."
- -000-
They were sitting in the study with their tea when Orana arrived back from her lesson. Aeryn curled in her chair and Sebastian against her knees.
She'd brought him in a chair, once she'd realized that all of the seating in the room was selected by her mother to suit the members of the household, shorter and low backed. The one he chose was leather covered with the high back he preferred and fit the longer length of his legs. Yet he almost always gravitated to the floor, to lean against her.
"Is this a set back, do you think?" She asked of his wasted meeting.
He considered as he laid his head back, enjoying the press of her thigh to his skull. "No. I don't think so. There was always going to be some who cut up sharp and either prefer Goran or want the power that a vacuum would leave. Robard is still on board with his extensive connections, the Viscount of Ostwick and the Lady of Cumberland. I've had the letters from Mikal of Ainbridge and Darin at Cleve recently. I think...I think perhaps it will be time, come spring. I hesitate to launch something like this in the winter months."
His brow was drawn as he spoke. He didn't want a war, she knew. The people of Starkhaven were on his mind, as they would bear the brunt of any protracted fighting. She smoothed the lines and rubbed at his temple as she contemplated what he said. "I will call that the plan, then. I'll have Varric start the process for selling the estate. We likely wouldn't have a buyer before Solstice anyway." The profits would provide a living for them until the throne was settled, pay the bills for a short campaign. There wouldn't be much time for dungeon crawls during a coup.
Hesitantly he asked, "Are you sure, leannan?" He hated the idea of her selling what had been the jewel of the Amell family. He couldn't imagine doing the same.
She leaned over him, a soft smile hiding just a touch of her own fear. "Are you not, my love?"
"You bled for this home, Aeryn. You were locked in the dark." And that had been another story he wished he'd never heard. "I don't..."
Oh, well if that was the reason he hesitated, that was easy to dismiss. "Not my home. Mother's home. Bethany's dream. My dreams..." She paused and then took the jump. "My dreams follow you, Sebastian. We go to Starkhaven or we choose another path. But I am leaving Kirkwall, dreams or no." It's not good for me to be here anymore, she didn't say.
He turned and faced her. "Then come wi' me, Aeryn. I'll...We'll make such a home, mo chridhe. I swear it." He could do that. Maybe even a finer reason than that he thought he'd be a better leader than Goran. Give her a home, forge a place strong enough that she'd feel safe. That was something he could set before the Maker. He was earnest, his eyes ablaze.
The sudden light in him took her breath. "I believe you." She cradled his face and pulled him to her for a kiss, warm and affirming. He sipped at her lips and opened to her and their tongues stroked together, briefly before he broke the kiss to feather them against her temples, then leaned his forehead against hers.
She slipped her hands down to gently rub his shoulders, broad and strong under her hands. If she had faith in nothing else, there was this, the surety that if Sebastian swore to something he would do his best to see it through.
He recalled Alistair's advice, to ask her for marriage before she thought too much about how her role would change or before death could separate them. He had no doubts he wanted to ask, but he yet hesitated. Kirkwall still consumed them. He wanted an open door before them when he offered his hand.
She brushed her lips against his cheekbone and tugged back to sip at her tea. "I need to talk with you about Anders." She didn't want to but...something in her friend's face.
"Did you get what he needed for his spell?" Sebastian had been pleasantly surprised that the mage was trying to drive out the spirit which possessed him.
"I think so...but he said he needed to do something at the Chantry, some reason...but Elthina wasn't to know."
He frowned. "That's odd, I take it."
She forgot sometimes that magic and its contours and requirements were yet strange to him. He hadn't grown up with them. "I've never heard of a spell requiring being cast in a Chantry. There are loci of power...but I doubt the...well, wait." Something occurred to her that hadn't when she'd been filthy and tired and tense. "The Chantry is a Tevinter structure, isn't it?"
"Yes..."
"Maybe...there may be some sort of power center then. Void, I hadn't thought of that." She rubbed her face. "Oh, I may have blown up at him for no better reason than he made me run about a sewer all morning, scraping samples." She laughed at the choking sound he made. "I've scrubbed. Twice. And I used the carbolic soap on my hands. I promise you'd have been able to tell, otherwise."
He cocked his eyebrow at her skeptically and casually mentioned, "You know...I read that manifesto of his." He'd mocked so often and felt guilty for it after Anders had come to the Chantry to aid him. When he'd come across a copy of it in her library the last rainy day, he'd paused, then sat with it a bit.
"Did you now?" Her eyebrows were nearly at her hairline. "And?"
"And I think he's mad as a sack full of wet cats." She smacked his shoulder and he looked mockingly wounded as he chuckled. "But, he's got a point or two." Sebastian conceded. "Hidden near entirely under the complete insanity."
She nodded ruefully. "They are a bit tucked in there, yes. It was better before. There was less...elaboration."
"He had a point or two. Maybe something good will come of this."
And Aeryn hated to tell him that there wasn't a spell to divide the spirit out, not when he'd just made a huge concession in his attitude towards Anders and the mages' cause...so she didn't. Anders wasn't likely to do anything without her. She'd talk to him in the morning.
It was Diamondback night at Fenris' again and Aeryn chivvied Sebastian out of the mansion to play. They were good for him, those friendships he'd built with Fenris and Donnic, the gruff mentoring that Varric undertook. It would give him a chance to push around his plans and she sent a note with him, asking Varric to start the selling process.
She'd be lying if she wasn't eternally grateful that Sebastian and Fenris took to one another. Someday her partner was going to decide he was tired of following, but until then, Aeryn wanted Fenris at her side and Sebastian watching their backs. They were a good team. If Anders wasn't so unpredictable these days, they'd have a perfect foursquare force.
Anders. She snagged on the memory of the hurt and the deception on his face. Maybe he did just need the Chantry's Tevinter history. But, he'd said... She shook her head. Just go and sketch the building over, see if anything looks amiss.
Upstairs, she pulled her older, black merc leathers out of the chest. Better for dark work, anyway. Absently she noticed that they fit better than they should have, given her more relaxed life and the way Sebastian and Orana kept putting food in front of her. She smudged some soot across her nose and cheeks and grabbed her hood before heading out the door.
-000- -
Sebastian settled into one of the chairs Fenris had pulled to the fire. Donnic had popped his head in earlier to tell Fenris he'd not be joining them. Varric hadn't shown either. The fire crackled and he stretched his booted feet out towards it. The night had taken an early chill. It boded poorly for winter.
Fenris proffered a bottle and when Sebastian nodded he poured a glass. Hawke would have just shared the bottle, but her archer was more fastidious. The cards lay between them, so he dealt a round of cutthroat. Sebastian contemplated his hand and lead out in suite. He would take the chance to try and convince Fenris to accompany them to Starkhaven, then. Aeryn had won a confession that he would follow so long as she led, but he'd ducked Sebastian again the last time the archer brought it up.
"I wish you'd think about coming with us, Fenris."
Faintly exasperated, Fenris sighed. "We have discussed this. Why do you think I will change my mind?"
"We're leaving in the spring. Aeryn is going to sell out the estate for the last of the coin." He stated it bluntly, hoping to spark a reaction.
Fenris blinked. The plans were in motion, then. For some reason, he'd felt it was only talk. "I still have no reason to believe I should go."
There was a flash of bleakness in Fenris' expression. And it occurred to Sebastian that while he'd once asked Aeryn if she was in love with Fenris, he'd never asked Fenris the same question.
Could he ask? It seemed beyond the properties of their friendship, but it would explain the elf's reluctance. Sebastian decided against asking. Let Fenris have his secrets. He could come up with some other reason. "There are elves in Starkhaven. Their lives are as dismal as the ones here. If I'm Prince, maybe I can make a change there. How much easier will that be if you're with us, Fenris?"
"I'm no revolutionary, Sebastian. Nor can I teach most of what I know."
Sebastian snorted and laid out another run. "I'm living proof that you're a good enough teacher."
That was true. Hawke had been reluctant to spar with Sebastian in early days, no doubt trying to avoid what intimacy could spring up between two people when blood was hot and spirits high. Varric had handled archer's tricks but Fenris had stepped in when it became clear that Sebastian's hand to hand was rusty from disuse.
Shrugging, Fenris dismissed the idea. "You were well trained already. You simply required finesse and exercise of your skill." He responded to Sebastian's lead with trump.
"We want you to come. She'd miss her partner. I'd miss my friend."
The elf shook his head, finding refuge behind his fringe. He'd remind Sebastian, then, why it was a bad idea. "You were jealous of me, of what Hawke and I have wrought together, not long ago, Sebastian. I would not insert myself into your lives, not when you are about to start them anew."
Fenris wasn't wrong. And it was possible from the outside, people would even misjudge as he once had. But Aeryn needed Fenris, needed him to fight beside and to understand the bits of her that Sebastian found baffling. So...
"I'm taking her from Kirkwall. And I know she's glad to go. She'd go anyway. But, I'm taking her to a war, in all probability, man." Sebastian let his fear of that show and played his final card. "I'm taking her to start a war. Andraste forgive me, but I have to. And I know she's perfectly capable of fighting, more eager than I, but damned if I'll do it without taking you to fight beside her when I can't."
Fenris' head came up at that, surprise lighting his eyes. "I...I had not considered that." Nearly eight years he'd stood beside Hawke. Sebastian saw it first. It was...wrong somehow to let her go off without him to battle. It was not yet time to leave her. Not yet.
-000- -
There wasn't anything here. It was the same stolid, forbidding building it had always been. Aeryn had snuck in, the shadows of the pillars hiding her from prying eyes. She'd rummaged through the rooms that she'd avoided since she'd come to know Sebastian, not wanting to be tempted to seek out his cell. Or exercise her habit of looting unattended valuables among his fellow Called. She even went down to the damp cellars, the walls seeping with the same chokedamp that stifled Darktown. Nothing.
No altars, no statues. Nothing that looked like it would draw a desperate mage's attention. There was a swirling dragon medallion in the floor of the cellar, but it was only a crest of some sort and crusted in calcite and salt. No sign of any tampering.
Anders had said tonight, but that was when he expected her to help him. Maybe she should go back and convince him that she'd changed her mind. Maybe she could deduce what he was up to, then. She climbed up the narrow cellar stairs.
The Grand Cleric was yet in her loft, tending the altar. One more try, then. For Sebastian.
"Grand Cleric?"
Elthina turned, startled. She looked older, somehow. The fragile skin around her eyes seemed thinner and darker. Aeryn wondered, a little guilty then, just how much of the woman's work Sebastian had taken upon himself and if she was suffering without his aid.
Her voice was still smooth and warm, though. "Champion? To what do I owe the honor?" And just a wee bit sarcastic. Aeryn had always liked that about her, despite everything.
"I'm sorry to disturb you, your Grace. I just wanted…there may be a new threat to the Chantry."
Her eyebrows went up. "Oh, and what would that be?"
"I've gained knowledge that mages may try to enter the sanctuary for some reason. I…wow, that sounds extraordinarily vague." Aeryn mocked herself.
"Sebastian has been working on you as well, then?" Aeryn shrugged. What could she say, really? One of my companions is a bit mad. He's got some nasty scummy noxious dirt he may put in your bed clothes? Tomato juice and carbolic will get the smell out? "He looks well. Happy and whole, since he's gone to you. I am glad, Hawke."
A tiny blush ran up her neck. It was a little like having a lover's mother tell you she was glad her son was satisfying you in bed. "He's good to me. I'm glad you think he's happy." It was a soft little voice that Elthina had never heard from the sharp, adventure-prone woman.
"I hope to see you in Chant with him, soon." The slight thaw in Hawke froze back over. Elthina sighed. Well, that was a mistake. Sebastian was right, better to let her come to things in her own time.
"Hawke, I will tell you as I have told Sebastian. Repeatedly. The Maker watches over his Chantry. Nothing will happen that does not have his express intention behind it. I will stand with my flock."
Aeryn nodded, trying to beat back the sudden resentment that had sprung up. The woman meant well. It was what she did. "If that's your will, then I'll respect it, Grand Cleric."
Elthina regretted that the gentle softness was gone, now. Back to the cool politeness that Leandra must have worked very hard to teach the wild girl Hawke likely had been once upon a time. "Maker keep you in his Light, child. I pray for you often."
"I probably need it." Aeryn threw her a quirked smile as she trotted back down to the shadowy narthex.
She hung around the Chanter's Board for a while, lingering in its shadow. She still felt something was off, but there was nothing to point to and night was drawing on. The chill gathered and she tipped her nose up, sniffing at the autumn sneaking in on the wind.
Aeryn hadn't left a message for Sebastian. He'd worry if he came back and she was gone. Sighing, she shook off her uneasiness. She'd run up to the Keep and then go back to the estate.
Aveline didn't share her concern, though. Without some actual threat, she didn't want to move precipitously.
"Hawke, if you know something specific, then I'll act. But until then, I…Do you really want me to slam into Darktown and drag him from his clinic for nothing but a bad feeling?" Aveline had avoided the topic of Anders almost since she'd met the mage. It was one of those spots she kept blind. Hawke needed Anders, with her lifestyle. As long as he kept her whole and spent most of his time healing, then Aveline had little qualm helping him duck the law. It was less a matter of protecting Anders than it was protecting Hawke. "It's not like he hasn't been set against the Chantry for seven years and longer."
"Look, I don't know, alright? I know he isn't entirely sane, but he's been stable. But...something's got my hackles up. I know you're stretched thin...but..."
Aveline rubbed her forehead. She didn't like the slight desperate note in Hawke's voice. "I'll put a couple of guards out. For the rest of the week. But then they have to come off. The social season's starting and there are pick pockets enough to wipe the nobles clean. Don't look at me like that, they pay the taxes, Hawke. There wouldn't be a Guard without them."
Aeryn nodded, snagging her lip to worry at it for a moment. Maybe they could organize a private watch. She felt Aveline's heavy glove drop onto her shoulder.
"Go home, alright? Get some rest. Let me do my job. Anders is…he's angry, but I don't think he'll move without you. Has he ever?"
He never had. Aeryn slipped through the shadows, back to the estate.
Sebastian slipped quietly into the house. He'd stayed far too long at Fenris' when Donnic had unexpectedly come back. They'd played their game and enjoyed a bit of foolish chat. Fenris had been in rather good spirits, joshing Donnic about his desire to talk Aveline into a family.
The hall was silent and dim. There was a tray on the sidebar, a covered teapot and a small selection of rolls and cheese. Orana's way of telling him that Aeryn hadn't eaten dinner, again. He ducked into the bathing chamber and then picked up the snack on his way up.
She was curled around his pillow, sound asleep. She had a copy of Anders' manifesto under her arm, enough to send anyone into oblivion, hand limply trailing off the edge of the mattress. He sat the tray aside and doffed his trews to slip in beside her, sliding the pamphlet out and dropping it on the table.
Snugging in next to her, Sebastian laid his hand on her pale, elegant back and stroked gently. The linen sheet just covered her hips but her skin was comfortingly warm so he didn't draw it up further. She was like his own personal brazier. It was so simple a thing, to be allowed to touch freely and be warmed by the woman he loved. So simple and yet the richest blessing he'd ever received. He smirked at his lovesick thought. Such a fool for her.
He could wake her and pull her into his arms and have her trembling against him in moments, but it wasn't what he wanted just now. He lay there, watching her relax further as he smoothed his hand down her back. Her face was sweet in repose, sharp eyes shut and red lashes in fans over her cheeks, the wicked grin put away, lush lips slightly opened. He brushed a feather light kiss to the deep groove a Tal Vashoth spear had left in her shoulder in her early Kirkwall years and saw her smile a little.
It wasn't a bad day to put to close, he thought, sleepily. He'd not made any progress with Starkhaven, but he'd made her a promise and gotten Fenris to commit to coming with them, which would give her another reason to smile. Not long now, and he'd have her away from here and in a place maybe she'd come to call home. He curled around her and fell softly to dreaming.
They sat, sharing a bench, eating their oat porridge. The kitchen was warmer than the upper floor, this morning. Autumn had definitely set in over night. Aeryn threatened his plain bowl with the cream pot and Sebastian gruffed at her silliness, poking her ribs while surreptitiously stealing a nut from her bowl with his other hand. She pouted about the nut until he pressed another between her lips and smiled when she bit into it with a glint in her eye.
Orana had gone to market, citing a need to pick up new strings for her lute. Bodahn entered the kitchen, grave and quiet. There was a note in his hand and he handed it to his mistress.
"This came just now. The man who delivered it was a mage, my lady."
Aeryn glanced at Sebastian's curious face, shrugging. "Orsino again, probably." She read a bit. "He needs my help. Apparently Meredith is making a move."
"I'll come with you." He stood and picked up their bowls to take and scrape.
"You had Chant this morning," she protested. "It's likely just going to be another screaming match."
"No. I…I don't want to send you to the Gallows alone, leannan. I don't know why, something seems off."
Aeryn chewed at her lip. She felt it too, a need to gather in her friends and have them where she could see them and know them safe.
And so it was. They ran upstairs to find their armor while Bodahn sent for the companions to meet them at the docks.
-000- -
It was all so foolish. She turned to Orsino to try and convince him to let Meredith have her way. It would just be one more reason for the public to find fault with the Knight Commander and gain sympathy for the mages when she found nothing. Again. She tossed her head at the closest message runner who read her lips…go find the Grand Cleric. She was the only one these two idiots ever listened to.
And then…Oh, Anders.
Aeryn turned to the mage, horror written across her face and despair in her voice. "Anders. What have you done?" Sebastian looked between them...Aeryn clearly knew what the mage referred to, but how?
He answered her even as a buzzing black-edged noise started ramping up. "What had to be done."
Aeryn started towards the noise, only to pull up sharp as something electric and vermillion and smelling of death ripped into the sky. Sebastian could see it over the...no, through the Chantry...and...Holy Andraste, no...
A wall of blackish smoke edged in reddish lightning rolled over them, but the whole crowd was shocky and still, the after image burying itself in their brains.
Then it was gone, and smoking, flaming debris rained down around them. And everyone was talking and screaming and trying to understand, but all Aeryn could hear were the wounded cries coming from behind her. She turned to find Sebastian on his knees, tears streaming down his face.
She was quickly beside him and for just a moment he pressed his face against her stomach trying to hide from it. She shielded him as best she could with shaking hands while he gathered himself. Oh, Maker, she wanted Anders dead for doing this to Sebastian. Wanted his heart in her hands to hand to her lover. But…oh, oh Sebastian wouldn't want that. She folded the chaos away and focused on the moment.
He pulled away, ashamed of his weakness, and began to pray his mentor and colleagues to the Maker's side and she turned back and made her stand.
Aeryn had no hesitation in siding with the mages.
Fenris and Aveline protested and she could offer only her one explanation. "I'm sorry. Bethany." Her one means of absolution, that she was made and meant to protect her sister. Aveline shook her head, still debating, but Fenris breathed in and nodded. He was with her. As always.
And even as she writhed inside, hating Anders for bringing this to a head, in this nightmarish way, she relished it. It was never going to end any other way, better it came now when she was still here.
The brief skirmish did nothing to dull the battle rush that built in her and she was moving towards the Gallows to seek her prey when Orsino cast Anders' fate into her hands. Aeryn stood there, confused for a moment.
It was her decision? Why hadn't someone struck him down already? He ought to be dead. In earlier days he'd have died at her hand with no remorse, for this horror. It would have been her first reaction. But she tried to be slower to kill now, to remember debts and circumstances. Anders was mad. And he had been her friend.
Meredith was on her way to the Gallows, where Bethany would be. Aeryn struggled for a moment, her blood singing to simply follow to the hunt.
Anders was talking to her, explaining. She held up a hand to stop him, not caring to listen as he tried to martyr himself. He wasn't going to die at her hands, there was too much debt between them. Sebastian would remind her of how Anders had saved her and him, too.
They were even now, though. Aeryn would stand no longer between him and the justice that should come to him. She'd deliver him to the Gallows herself, offer him to whatever authority remained when the battle ended. But something had caught Sebastian's attention, once he'd completed his prayers for the fallen Templars.
"You knew about this?" Betrayal and his earlier screams turning his tenor ragged and pointed.
Shock ripped through her, penetrating the battle plans and schemes in the front of her mind. How could he think that? "No. Sebastian. No." She shook her head, frantic suddenly.
"I've heard you talk about razing Kirkwall to th' ground. Is this...is this what you meant?" But even in his grief, he could see the hurt and shock on her face that he would accuse her. Of course not.
Her voice shook as she begged him. "I would never do this to you, Sebastian. I told you that I was worried about his intentions. I tried to talk to the..."
He batted her explanation away. Talking. But she hadn't talked to Fenris' betrayer. Or hesitated to strike down Isabela's captor. Where was her blade in the midst of his loss?
He couldn't stop the bitterness in his voice when he asked, "Then why is he no' dead yet, Aeryn?" She went very still at his question.
"I don't...Sebastian, killing him like this, won't it only make a martyr of him?" She tried to touch him but he flinched away from her.
"Who would follow th' memory of a demon possessed madman bringing death down on the heads of the innocent?" Sebastian's eyes were blazing, but the fires were cold and backed in tears and she dropped her gaze. "You just dinnae want ta admit you made a mistake, sheltering him all these years."
"He's been my friend, Sebastian. He's saved my life. Saved your sanity. I owe him." Almost in a whisper. But if he thought she should? If Sebastian thought Anders should die here...she was staring at the ground, caught between what he'd said before and what he was saying now. Only to jerk her eyes back up to him when he let his next words crack across her like a whip.
"I meant to go to Chant this morning. What if I'd been there, Aeryn? Would you be waffling then? He deserves death."
"I..." She looked away from him then, out over the courtyard where they had gathered. She'd been ignoring the chaos, trying to focus on the argument between Orsino and Meredith.
Sebastian could have been there, yes. Had he been, Anders would already be dead at her feet, truly. No debt would have covered that.
Who else was lost?
Sebastian's mentor, the only one who'd given him succor in days when he had been so alone. Sarai liked to go to late morning services sometimes, after she'd seen Caleb to school. The girl she'd just sent to find the Cleric, who had time to get to the Chantry, but not enough to get away. Pauli might have been there waiting for a messenger job. Which of the guardsmen had been assigned there at her request? Oh, Maker. Donnic.
Some shattered remains of the Chantry lay around them. She could hear screams now, reedy and terrified. The smoke still billowing from the wreckage. All the death. Endless death. She'd missed something last night. Misread Anders' desperation. She kept making mistakes and everyone paid but her.
She could have stopped it years before when she'd seen what Anders was.
If she'd remembered what she was.
Ah, but Sebastian remembered for her. Remembered how sharp and simple she could be. The bitter smoke faded out, the buzz of voices around her, the screams. That bone-deep exhaustion that had plagued her in the last few days dropped away. She had a mark and a purpose. Anders did deserve death.
She welcomed the stillness that crept into her heart.
Wild hurt tore up in Sebastian at her indecision as she stood silently, but then, she turned back to him.
"Of course." Her eyes were blank and her face was serene and pale. A bit of debris had nicked the edge of her eyebrow, sending a trickle of crimson down the apple of her cheek. "Yes."
Curving away with fluid grace, Aeryn was drawing her blade even as Sebastian heard an echo of dark, cruel, seductive laughter and Aeryn's own soft, wistful voice saying, "All I had to do was keep saying yes."
-000- -
author's note.
What's that old playwright's saying? "Never introduce a gun in the first act if you don't mean to pull the trigger by the third?" Well...Bang.