If I didn't know better I'd think I planned for this chapter to come out right after the Super Bowl. But sadly, I'm not that good. It's purely coincidence.

Chapter 26

Paige and I would miss seeing each other for Christmas. The thought of it made me want to cry but she was expected in Philadelphia with her whole family and I was going to Texas to be with my mom and dad. Things have been horrible between mom and me since Thanksgiving. We've barely spoken and to tell you the truth that is just fine with me. Until she decides to apologize, and sincerely mean it, I have nothing to say to her. So, Christmas should be spectacular this year.

I am very excited to see dad. If not for him I'd be staying in Philadelphia for the holiday. I am a self proclaimed daddy's girl, and I wear the badge with honor. I love Paige but there wasn't any chance I would miss going down to the base to spend Christmas with my dad. Thankfully Paige understood. I'd see her the end of January anyway when I'm in Atlanta for work.

The girls wanted to get together in Rosewood before I had to fly to Texas to meet up with my parents. We pushed two large tables together in the back of the bar where we decided to make our first stop of the night. The whole group was in town and it was just like old times. Spencer brought Toby home this trip to meet her family. Ezra tagged along with Aria of course. Hanna brought her boyfriend Caleb in from New York. And rounding out the group was Ben. Ugh. It couldn't be avoided though. With Toby in the group comes Ben.

I don't know if it's because we were back home in Rosewood together for the first time in four years or the alcohol in Ben's system but he was laying it on thick tonight. I was trying to be nice. Not upset the dynamic of the group. Play along and brush him off as gently as possible. It wasn't working though. He constantly put his arm around me or leaned in way too much when he talked to me.

I was getting to the point that I just wanted to go home. My parents still have their house in Rosewood, and all I wanted to do was get back to the comfort of that familiar place. Tonight was a little disappointing if I'm being honest. I wanted to have fun with my best friends; the three girls, besides Paige, who mean the most to me. Instead I spent the night dodging Ben who literally would not take a hint. I grabbed my purse and coat and told everyone bye before I made my way to the door.

The bar was decorated for Christmas. For a bar, it was nice. There were multi-colored lights strung along the bar rail. Garland hung from the light fixtures. What I didn't see was the mistletoe. But Ben saw it hanging above the door I was walking out of.

Ben ran up to me as I opened the door. "Emily, wait…before you go," and then he kissed me. I tried to push him away but he mistook my hands on his arms as the start of a hug and started to kiss me deeper.

Whistles and shouts of "Go Emily!" and "Go Ben!" rang through the crowded bar.

I was in shock. I couldn't believe he just did that. I pushed him away finally and muttered, "I- I have to go," and ran from the bar.

When I got home I paced back and forth in my bedroom. I was so angry at Ben for this. I was so angry at myself for letting it get that far. And I was scared. I was scared what Paige is going to say when I tell her that Ben kissed me. Because I have to tell her; I can't keep it from her.

I sat on my window seat and stared at my phone. My finger hovered over Paige's name. I took three deep breaths and dialed her number. I almost hung up after the second ring. On the third she picked up. "Paige, I need to tell you something," then I stopped. "I love you and I miss you."

I couldn't do it. I couldn't say it. Not over the phone anyway and not two days before Christmas. No, I'll tell her when I see her next month.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Since I was in Atlanta for work I rented a car at the airport. I'd be all over the city the next few days helping with media calls for Super Bowl XLV. It's all hands on deck for a game of this magnitude so my peers from every division of the NFL are in this week.

Atlanta has a lot of great locations already in place from the 96' summer Olympics. The NFL and many high-dollar sponsors have rented the facilities for various Super Bowl activities and parties.

I've warned Paige that my time before Sunday may be pretty limited, but that I'll make sure to carve out time for her. Plus, I was able to arrange some VIP tickets to a lot of the events taking place this week.

First up is tonight's NFL All Access Boot Camp. Trainers, coaches and players from throughout the league will be on-hand to take guests through drills, training techniques and autograph sessions. Paige and I could care less about the autographs but everything else should be a lot of fun. I knew how competitive Paige is but I guess I didn't KNOW how competitive Paige IS. She was having fun but she really took everything pretty seriously. I decided it was time to go when she straight-armed a scrawny teenager who was blocking her path to the end zone. I gave him and his family VIP passes to return the next night as an apology for Paige's overzealousness.

I didn't get to see Paige at all for the next two days. I did give Paige and four of her friends VIP tickets to the Saturday night concert featuring P!nk. I even booked them a limo. She called me from the stretch Escalade on their way to Philips Arena. They must have been out for dinner and drinks beforehand because they are laughing and talking loudly in the background. All I could really hear were shouts of "Thank you," and "We love you," and "Em-i-ly, Em-i-ly- Em-i-ly," in the background.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Monday night I finally got some free time with Paige. I'd be leaving the next day with most everyone else. While she understood that this week was mostly about work, Paige was still upset that I didn't get to see her much while I was in town.

I parked in her driveway and made my way up the walkway with my luggage. I checked out of the hotel a day early and planned to stay with Paige tonight. I couldn't stay with her earlier in the week because she was too far out from everywhere I needed to be and my hours were crazy.

I'm exhausted and all I really want to do is cuddle with Paige on the couch. I'm too spent right now to even carry my luggage up to Paige's bedroom so I leave it sitting at the front door. After a nice home cooked meal Paige and I settle on the couch to watch a movie. I'm not even sure what she's put on. My head is resting is Paige's lap as I stretch out on the couch. She is running her fingers through my hair and it feels amazing.

"I've missed you, Emily," Paige says as she leans down to kiss the side of my head. "It's been two months since we've seen each other; that's too long. I wish we could have spent Christmas together."

My eyes popped open at the mention of Christmas. I've yet to tell Paige that Ben kissed me a few days before the holiday. I wanted to earlier this week but never had time. Since I leave tomorrow I guess now is the only chance.

I sat up and turned to Paige, crossing one leg underneath with the other leg hung over the edge of the couch. "Paige, babe, I need to talk to you about something." Paige looked at me with a concerned expression on her face. She could tell something was up from my tone. "When I was home in Rosewood something happened." I looked down and fumbled with the clasp of my large silver Michael Kors watch. "Ben kissed me while all of us were hanging out at a bar in town."

Paige didn't say a word. She wiped her hands down her jeans and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "I pushed him away as soon as I could. I'm sorry, Paige. I didn't want him to do it. Are you mad?"

Paige took another deep breath. "Yes, I am mad. I KNEW this would happen eventually. I knew that asshole couldn't keep his hands to himself."

I don't know why but I felt the need to defend him to a degree. "It's not completely his fault. I think he just got wrapped up in the night. Our friends kept making comments about how cute we used to be together and how wouldn't it be great if we got together again."

Paige stood up then and started pacing in front of me. "This could have all been prevented. YOU," she said, pointing at me, "could have prevented all of this from happening."

What? I followed Paige with my eyes as she continued to walk back and forth in front of me. "Me? So you're saying that Ben kissing me is my fault? Is that it?"

"Did he know you were seeing anyone? Did your friends know you were seeing anyone? No, Emily, none of them do. They wouldn't have pushed it if they'd known. Other than Chelsea you haven't said a damn word about you and me to anyone."

Oh, OK. So she wants to go there, this is what's bothering her I think to myself. Paige continues, "Eight months. We have been together for eight fucking months! Maybe it doesn't seem like it's been that long but it has."

"Paige-" I start to say until she cut me off.

"No, I don't want to hear another excuse," Paige says with her palms up towards me. "You were going to tell your parents at Christmas, right? But then because of Thanksgiving and your mom you decided not to, right? Am I getting close?"

I have never seen Paige this angry. I didn't realize she was keeping her feelings so pent up. Now it's boiling over and I can't stop it. But it doesn't mean I have to put up with it.

"Paige, you need to calm down. I think you're being a little unfair." Judging by her instant reaction, I MIGHT have said the wrong thing.

"Unfair? UN-FAIR? Who is this unfair to? You? Me? All of the above? This whole relationship is incredibly unfair but it is also easily remedied."

"Paige, please. I don't understand where all of this is coming from." I need to get this conversation under control. "Can we just talk about this rationally?"

Paige stopped pacing and took a couple deep breathes. Clearly Paige had a lot on her mind and I could almost see the synapses in her brain firing to life. "OK. But let me ask you a question first. Have you called any of the leads lately that I gave you for jobs down here?"

Well, hell, things are about to get worse. "Not lately, no." Paige raised her hands in the air. "Wait…things are going really well with the NFL. It's a great job, Paige, and one that I'm good at and really enjoy."

Paige nodded her head almost as if she was confirming something to herself. Her bottom lip started to quiver. I could see all of the fight drain from her body. "I can't do this anymore, Emily," Paige whispered.

"Do what?" Now I'm scared.

"This," she said motioning between she and I. I started crying immediately. "There's no end in sight, Em. It's clear you aren't going to make an effort to move here. It's clear you aren't going to come out anytime soon. When I've offered to move home instead you tell me not to, that I have so much going on for me down here." Paige sniffed. "But I don't, Emily. I don't have so much going on for me down here. I'm ready to start a life with someone. I want to have a family. I want to have that person in my life to share the day to day with." Paige was crying in earnest now. "You're not ready for that, Emily. And that's OK. But it's not OK for me."

"Please don't do this, Paige. I love you! Don't do this," I begged between sobs. I can literally feel my heart breaking in half…no…shattering, into a million irreparable pieces. "I'll get there, I promise!" I jumped off the couch and went to her, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her to me. I tried to kiss her but she leaned away.

Paige reached around her back and removed my hands. "I'm sorry, Emily. It has to be like this…at least for right now. We can't be together. It's too hard. Our timing is off. But I will NEVER close the door on us…never."

I'm incredibly hurt. I'm shattered and shaken. I'm shocked. I'm lost. I'm angry. And for her to say she'll never close the door on us…what the hell! She just broke up with me!

I took a deep breath and drew from the tiniest reserve of strength that I still had left and walked towards the front door. I grabbed my luggage and with one final look before the door closed I said, "You just did, Paige."

A/N: Soooooo, I know…I broke them up. (gasp!) Sorry. I hate it too! I really debated breaking them up…after the breakup in the show I wasn't sure I wanted to in the story. But that's what I intended from the beginning so I decided to stick with it. I'll always write to Paily so just know our journey will take us there again.

I've written out the next couple chapters, and I like how it's playing out but they aren't ready yet. Next chapter will be a time jump.