There was no time to waste! The last round of the tournament was going to start any minute now. She dashed into the elevator and forward-smashed the button. Doc's clinic was pretty high up so it took a few minutes. Name folded the No Means No! (For Girls) pamphlet into a paper airplane and tossed it haphazardly out the window into the building's courtyard to kill some time before the elevator doors dinged open. Inside was Elevator Operator Sandbag, staring at her politely with his plastic eyeballs under his bellhop hat.
"No time to explain, Sandbag, I've got to get to the ground floor!" He didn't press any of the buttons, only staring at her as if to say "You don't need to explain. This is an elevator. That's what elevators do."
"I don't need any of your sass, Sandbag," Name huffed. He responded by not responding in a way that seemed to say "Also you have plenty of time to explain on the ride down. It's a slow trip." His head shifted condescendingly to the side, or maybe his sand just shifted but Name was in no mood. "This is too slow!" she flailed, exiting the elevator as the door automatically closed behind her. Sandbag hadn't even pressed any buttons. What a layabout.
She opened one of the glass windows and leapt out, planning to use her recovery right before she hit the ground to cancel out all momentum. As she slid down the glass windows it struck her that mistiming this would land her right back in Doc's office again, and she was pretty close to the daily prescription cutoff point, a new restriction due to the Turnip Incident.
Moments later Name pierced the treetops like a bullet and nearly crashed into the ground below. She was saved by her recovery, a small raft of floating hearts that carried her up a ways. She floated towards the front of the greenhouse. It was nice to be able to fly but Name didn't use the power much. Gotta keep those gams in shape for the fellas. She exited the garden and reached the stage where the captain was falcon addressing the crowd.
"Well, falcon people, if our last falcontestants don't show up, I'm afraid we won't have much of a match here! What a DISAPPOINTMENT!" Villager, off to the side, spotted Name coming out of the brush and an exclamation mark exploded from his head. A cardboard box in the audience shuffled nervously. "Well well! Looks like Name's back! Let's give her a hand!" A series of muted claps farted out of the measly crowd. Name smiled. She was pretty popular!
"In case you forgot, you've been FALCON DISQUALIFIED!" The captain struck a pose.
"Falcon disqualified!? What for!?" She cried, innocently.
"For falcon rigging the game! We've been over this! You're a regular FAL-CON ARTIST, Ms. Name! We're waiting on our OTHER CONTESTANTS!"
"First of all," Name stuck a hand on her hip, "This is the first time I've heard about my disqualification for cheating. Also I didn't cheat. On purpose, anyways."
"Really?" The captain tipped his head. Even his neck muscles stretched like they were lunging into a pose. Somewhere Rosalina was swooning. "But I just told you about it!"
"Uh, no you haven't? I've been up in Doc's clinic," Name retorted.
"There is something strange about this!" mused Lucario, sitting on the edge of the stage like he belonged there for some reason. Lucario pointed his weird jackal fist over to the loser's circle. "It appears there are… two Nick Names here!" A rush of gasps from the crowd. How could this be!? Nick turned her head to follow Lucario's finger. There, sitting next to Villager, Ike, and an assortment of others in the loser's circle- a small area quarantined off by red velvet rope strung between a few rickety posts and ROB, now enigmatically labeled "DUGOUT"- was another person who looked exactly like Nick!
...For about ten seconds. Upon closer inspection, Nick realized it was actually Dark Pit decked out in a creepily accurate Name disguise. Even her ambiguous hair color and length was the same! Name stomped over and looked down at Pittoo, who noticeably avoided eye contact.
"What the hell are you doing?" She asked.
"I-I have no idea what you're talking about," Pittoo responded in creaky falsetto that Name hoped to god was not his impression of her. "You sure are pretty though! We should date! B-because I'm Nick Name and have weird standards!"
"Listen, Pittoo!" she snarled, "You'd better have a damned good explanation for why you're wearing my clothes!" She gripped him by his scrawny neck.
"P-Pittoo? Who's that? I-I've never heard of such a person… he sure sounds deep and poetic though. Maybe I should date him." Name quaked in place, not sure how to hurt Pittoo first.
"Wow, I'm seeing falcon double!" the Captain cried over the PA. She didn't know which was worse, the fact that Armpit was pulling this stunt or the fact that everyone else was convinced he was her. "Well, I suppose the falcon disqualification was placed on THIS Name," he puzzled, pointing to Pittoo, "So it seems there's no reason this new Name can't play!"
"Are you kidding me!?" Ike erupted, standing from his spot on the loser's bench.
"I am NOT! Unfortunately, her falcon PARTNER has ALSO been DISQUALIFIED, so Name will have to play this round alone! Let the games begin! ...When our final contestants arrive!"