Chapter 26

The healing spell worked and the bleeding stopped. Blood was smeared over his lips and she leaned over to the sink and wet the dishcloth. It was relatively clean because they had actually never cooked anything in this kitchen. She didn't know if anyone did use their kitchen. There had to be someone showing off their culinary arts, but she had never been intent on impressing Draco with her domestic skills. Not that her spaghetti Bolognese would likely impress him all that much even if she at any point wanted to try.

Bringing the wet dishcloth back, she pulled herself up to sit on the breakfast bar. This was easier to do if she didn't have to reach up. When exactly had he grown so tall?

He said nothing as she wiped his mouth clean, was looking down and simply letting her. Then he looked up and it felt stark. Without actually moving, they suddenly seemed so close. Those cool gray eyes. Her breath held tight for a moment. How had they gotten here?

"You know, two can play the game," he said.

"What game?"

He looked down again and she felt relief from the tension, but that didn't last as he shifted his hand and placed it on her thigh. Then he looked up again. "What's it called? Chicken?"

His hand burned on her bare thigh—because she was wearing her soft lounge shorts, and she had completely forgotten. His hand moved higher. The sensation was jarring and it radiated throughout her. Her mouth had gone completely dry and she struggled to get her mind in gear. Chicken. This was because she'd kissed him and now he was… punishing her? Or playing chicken—in which one had to concede defeat to the other.

Should she give? Technically, she didn't have to. What would it mean if she admitted defeat? Was it like a permanent defeat, because she wasn't entirely sure she could cope with that. But could she cope with his hand creeping up her thigh? What would be the end game? How far could this go?

She was a bundle of indecision. How far would he go? Technically he had more to lose. Not that she believed for a moment he would go wherever this was heading.

"I think this is a venture neither of us would appreciate in the end."

"Really? I find I'm enjoying it." He was enjoying watching her squirm. "But then you set us down this path."

"That stupid kiss?" she said, trying hard to ensure her tone wasn't high and squeaky, or worse, breathy. But this was unbearable. And technically he was in the way of her closing her thighs. How had she been stupid enough to let herself get into this position. Because she'd never expected him to do this. "It was just a stupid kiss to prove a point. So let's drop it, okay?"

"Oh no, that would be cheating."

The sensation was unbearable. All she had to do was give in and admit defeat. Why was that so hard for her? Just do it. "So exactly how far are you willing to go?"

"I don't know," he said. "Isn't that the point of the game?" That infuriating grin was on his lips as he looked up, his eyes utterly cool as his hand was getting close to the edge of her shorts.

"Because you have everything to lose and I have nothing."

"Nothing? Is that true, though? Because I would tell everyone. Potter, Weasley, McGonagall. Tell them all that we fucked. How would you ever live it down?"

"You wouldn't dare. Because it would take you father all of two seconds to find out."

"You think he wouldn't forgive me?"

That had her stumped, as did him leaning closer and she felt his breath on her shoulder. This was getting much too… much. Because there was something in her that wasn't all that unwilling to simply give in—and not in the chicken game stakes. In the much worse stakes.

There was actually a part of her that wasn't opposed to sleeping with him and that was a bit of a revelation.

"Wouldn't this year be a lot more fun if we were fucking each other's brains out?" he asked. That contrary part of her brain didn't mind hearing that either.

Every single part of her body was on fire, probably more so because she didn't want it to be, but her body was utterly betraying her. His hand was underneath her shorts, his thumb slowly traveling down the grove between her leg and her torso.

"Okay fine," she said and shove him away hard. "You're a bigger slag than I am."

"Always have been," he said with a smile, flush with his victory.

Released from the tension, she pressed her lips together and tried to think of how Harry would react if she actually ended up sleeping with Draco.

With his hands behind him, he leaned against the stony sides of the stairs leading to the bedroom.

Did he really believe they would have a better time this year if they were sleeping together? Was there some part of him that actually wanted that? Because he'd always treated her like she had leprosy. Could he actually go through with it?

Even the question was short-circuiting her brain. Her and Draco. She couldn't even imagine that. No, that was wrong, she had some very real sensations to go along with the notion now, thanks to him. And the kiss. That had been a bad idea.

"Neither of us are getting any anywhere else?"

"Are you actually trying to talk us into sleeping together?"

"When we get out of here, every single person our age will be married."

"Not a problem for me, because I am literally out of here. In the general sense."

He frowned. "What? You're going back to the muggle world?"

"Yes, for university. I kind of have to if I am ever going to have a place in the muggle world."

"So you are turning your back on the wizarding world to go back to the muggle world?"

"Yeah, for a while."

"For how long?"

"Why do you care?"

"You are literally my wife."

"And I am literally doing what you've been begging me to do for years and going back to the muggle world. What exactly did you expect?"

Now it was his turn to look stumped. He didn't have an answer. "Was that your intention all along?" he finally asked.

Biting her cheek, she stared at him for a moment. "No, actually. This war kind of showed me that it might be a good idea to have options." She was quiet for a moment, feeling the aching, bitter disappointment that existed in her. "So many people just complied with Voldemort's stupid edicts. They didn't even object. How many people actually, in their hearts, objected to how they treated muggleborns?" She snorted. "I guess we proved, Malfoy, that all this time, you weren't lying."

Jumping down from the breakfast bar, she walked away, unable to have this conversation anymore. And she couldn't deal with him anymore, because all the bullshit he'd been spewing for years had been true. When push came to shove, this society didn't value her enough to protect her if someone sought to persecute her. And yes, she knew that standing up against Voldemort was dangerous, but there were quite a lot of people who weren't all that upset about how the muggleborns had been treated. In her heart, she hadn't really believed it, but there was proof seen by her own eyes now.

And as a result, she had lost her faith in this world. So giving up a possible future by not having a university education wasn't something she was willing to contemplate anymore. She needed a means to turn her back on this world if she had to. Potter, the eternal optimist, didn't see it that way. To him, Voldemort had been vanquished, and all was well, but this war had lost her her faith in this society.

But she wasn't dressed to leave, so she walked up into the bedroom and closed the door. It certainly was a day for revelations. All the old things that she had firmly believed in had fallen away. Like the future she had absolutely foreseen in the wizarding world, the firm belief that she belonged here—and the idea that she wouldn't touch Malfoy with a barge pole. What else of the things she believed weren't true?

For a moment, she missed Harry. He was the one thing that never betrayed her. Maybe switching those little pieces of paper had been the biggest mistake of her life. But equally, Harry would not have let hers slip away back to the muggle world. His faith was still firm and he would talk her around, and she would probably give in. In was nice and sunny in Harry's view of the future. Maybe he was right. She hoped so, but she needed to have a plan B.

Maybe it wasn't a plan B. As much as people here disparaged the muggle world, she might end up loving it and simply choosing to stay.