Chapter 25

Siri didn't know what had changed. Whenever she'd felt like this before, the memories and visions had overwhelmed her thoughts so intensely that it had caused her to almost pass out multiple times. She would then babble whatever came to her mind, if only to stay awake because she somehow knew that being lost in those dreams would be the worst thing that could possibly happen to her.

This time, though, it felt different. The darkness was there, she could tell, and the visions continued to clamor in the back of her mind for attention, but she didn't lose her sense of the present and found she could anchor herself in it instead of being lost to the maelstrom of memories. So when a healer ran in to check on her, she managed a weak smile and an apology for her scream, telling him it was just a nightmare. The healer, a rather young one (probably still a Padawan), didn't look convinced, but he still accepted her explanation and left after she assured him there was nothing he could do for her.

She shook her head and watched him leave with that fake smile still plastered on her features. The moment he was out of sight, she swung her legs out of bed and walked over to the window. The darkness was growing. Although it still felt small at the moment, she could feel its creeping infection around her.

And she knew it all led back to Anakin.

Muttering a few choice (and rather colorful) words under her breath, she leaned forward and rested her head on the transparisteel. She didn't really see the view as she concentrated on her breathing and the calming flow of the Force around her.

It helped, but only marginally.

Setting her mouth in a grim line, she realized that she couldn't count on the problem—the situation in general—to resolve itself anymore. Something would have to be done.

Which was fine. She never had been the type of person to just sit by and let things happen anyway.

xXx

For once, Obi-wan had a rather simple mission, and so far, nothing had gone awry. He had been tasked to guarding a royal girl from the planet Mak-toh as she attended some peace treaties with the other planets in her system. It really wasn't his usual type of mission, as the girl had legally inherited the throne when her mother, the empress, had died from a chronic illness. The council didn't expect anything to go wrong, so Obi-wan had been sent alone.

Honestly, he couldn't remember the last time any of his missions had gone this smoothly, and it was beginning to unnerve him. He didn't like to think he was paranoid, but that had to be at least part of the reason he felt so unusually jumpy...and grumpy, now that he thought about it. Did he really crave excitement that much? Or was it something else?

He stood behind the girl, blending in with the servants as he scrutinized everyone at the table for the umpteenth time. Finally, he took a deep breath, centered himself, and reached for the Force. After a few moments, he realized that whatever had affected him like this was not on the planet. If anything, it seemed to call him from far away...towards Coruscant and the Jedi Temple…

Just what was going on? Who would—

A tap on the shoulder brought him out of his reverie, and he blinked at a servant he'd befriended a little while before. He stood there with one eyebrow raised as he gestured towards a tray with several different types of appetizers.

Thanking him, Obi-wan popped a few into his mouth and went back to doing his job. Whatever was on Coruscant was on Coruscant, and he could do nothing about it right now. So he'd do what Qui-Gon had always told him to do and focus on the here and now.

It didn't stop him from worrying, though.

xXx

Anakin didn't wait for the door to open at his approach. Instead he wrenched it open with the Force and strode into the larger room, fists balled and posture rigid. Anyone who had seen Lord Vader like this would have known to stay out of his way. Anyone who hadn't known soon learned or lost the need to learn as their existence tended to end at that point.

It had been a while since he'd been like this. He didn't feel the all-consuming anger (and subsequent darkness) that he usually found himself lost in, but even if he had, he wouldn't have cared. All of his emotion now focused on two individuals, one of which happened to be in front of him.

"You!" he growled, seething at the little green troll who seemed torn between wariness towards Anakin and some form of concentration. Anakin didn't really care which at the moment.

"Anakin?!" He heard Master Xio exclaim in the background but ignored her. If she became a threat, he could eliminate her.

"You dare?!" he asked the grandmaster scornfully. "You and your high-and-mighty Jedi ways, always insisting on holding to a double standard!"

"Wish to discuss something with me, you do?"

The lack of reaction in the other being's voice only angered him further. "Yes! I will only ask once more: how dare you?! You and Kenobi and the Jedi!" He wanted to throw himself at the traitorous Master and strangle him, but somewhere in the back of his mind, he realized that attacking Yoda was a bad idea. He was in the heart of the Jedi Temple without any backup and greatly diminished in skill. That little voice of reason was all that held him back from flinging everything he could at the object of his wrath.

"Anakin—" Master Xio started again, but he cut her off with a wave of his hand, pushing her back against the wall—not hard enough to do permanent damage, but hopefully hard enough that she would get the hint and stay out of this. She was lucky he was merciful enough (and distracted enough) to not do more at the moment.

"Do not interfere," he warned.

"Explain, you should," Yoda said, his voice cold and demanding. Jedi Padawan Anakin Skywalker would have shrunk away from that and then angrily complied. Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker would have refused on the mere principle, and Vader would have just taken out his lightsaber and cut the Master down. The current Anakin, though, didn't have access to a weapon and realized that while he wanted to fight physically—even if that was what Vader would have done—he simply did not have the capacity at the moment. His only other option was to fight with words. Fortunately, while young Anakin Skywalker hadn't been particularly gifted in that area, Vader had been schooled enough to know what he was doing...if he could keep his temper in check.

"You hid her from me! Hid both of them, really, but at least Luke wasn't flaunted before me! I do not know which I find more abhorrent; that you hid her where she would still be in danger, or that you took her from me to begin with! Do you not proclaim to want to protect all life in the galaxy? So then why do Jedi constantly pick and choose as to which lives are more important?! You seem to have some innate tendency to judge which lives can be spared and which can be tossed into the very heart of darkness and left to wither!"

He waited in silence, breathing hard, for Grandmaster to respond, fists clenched so tightly that he could feel the nails biting into his palm.

"Not speaking of another, are you," Yoda finally asked...or said, in such a calm, sad tone that Anakin couldn't help but be taken back.

"I... What?" he asked, noting somewhere how utterly pathetic he suddenly sounded.

"Left you in darkness, did we?" the small master asked as his ears drooped.

Anakin wondered just how Yoda had been able to turn the tables on him so quickly and thoroughly, because the grandmaster was right. Yes, he'd been angry at them about his daughter (who wouldn't be?), but that last line that he'd yelled at them had encompassed himself, as well. He hadn't meant for it to, but it had happened.

Worse, he didn't know how to answer Yoda's question because there were so many answers. They had left him in the darkness—had abandoned him and so many other slaves to their fate until they'd had reasons that benefited them. They'd left Shmi to make her own way on a planet that had robbed her of everything else, without even allowing Anakin to check on her. They'd left Luke on that same planet—a planet that was, arguably, just as dangerous as that which they'd been trying to hide him from. They'd left Leia (and he'd chosen that name too! Really, how could he not see it?) smack in the middle of everything to fend for herself. They'd left Padmé to die and they'd left Anakin to burn on an abandoned planet only to be consumed by the darkness so thoroughly that it took a miracle to allow him out.

They hadn't just left him in darkness, but, really his whole family.

No wonder he hated the Jedi.

Jedi weren't supposed to be like that! They were supposed to be good and right, and not...well, people.

Anakin shook his head. That didn't make any sense, because he knew better. He'd known for decades—since he first came to the Temple, really. But maybe—just maybe—he'd never really given up on the ideal, because he still wanted rescuers to come and save him. He always had (and wasn't that hard to admit, even to himself?). So when no one had come, he'd fought for himself and tried to live up to that expectation, only to fail miserably—because, really, could anyone live up to that ideal? Was that fair of him to demand of anyone else?

Was that fair of him to demand it of himself?

But wait, didn't the Jedi demand that of him, too? Their precious Chosen One?

He reached a hand up to rub at the bridge of his nose and tried to break through the circular thinking. Focus. What had Yoda asked? Right, if they'd left him in the darkness. What a ridiculous question.

"How can you ask me that?" he heard himself reply.

"Hmm," Yoda replied, nodding his head gravely. "Understand now, I do, why so worried, you were."

Anakin stopped for a moment and tried to process that comment, because it didn't seem to be related to anything they'd been discussing. So worried about what? Being left in the darkness? No... Well, knowing Yoda, probably that, too, but not just that. Then what...?

Oh. The shield. The reason Yoda was even here to begin with. Palpatine.

Right.

He swallowed, but his fear didn't overpower his anger, not completely. It still lingered in the back of his mind and soul. It, thankfully, still wasn't the completely tainted, irrational anger, at least, but Anakin knew frome experience that if he didn't do something about it now, it would eventually become something he no longer wished to deal with.

Before he could do anything else, though, the door to the room opened, and everyone turned to look at the newcomer.

To Anakin's great surprise, Siri Tachi, dressed in nothing but a medic-wing tunic and a brown outer robe, strode into the room, looking determined. He briefly wondered why she was there, because he could still feel Yoda's shield up (thankfully). Then he realized it had to be that blasted, unknown bond.

"Anakin Skywalker!" she practically shouted, looking more like an avenging angel than a Jedi.

"Who are you?" Master Xio asked, sounding exasperated. Siri ignored her and Yoda as she marched up to Anakin, finger pointing directly between his eyes. "How dare you! You promised me you'd be careful! You promised!"

For a moment, he felt chagrined. How she might be affected by all of this hadn't even crossed his mind, and he really should think about things like that because not doing so (thinking about how other people would react to him) had been what had gotten him in trouble in the first place.

As he stared at her, though, a thought occurred to him even as he mentally went over her words again, so accusing and hurt and... Was that fear? If that were true, she was putting on an extremely convincing front. Still, if she could hide that, then what else could she hide?

"Did you know?" he asked, not wanting to believe she would keep something so vital from him.

She must have sensed the accusation (and desperation, even if he refused to acknowledge it) because she paused, hand lowering slightly. "

Know what?" she asked.

He couldn't help but appreciate that she'd had the presence of mind and willingness to ask at this point. Or, at least, he would appreciate it when he looked back on the situation later. At the moment, all he cared about was the answer she would give.

"Luke's twin sister."

She blinked blankly at him and didn't say anything. Out of the corner of his eye, ye saw Yoda raise a hand to stop Master Xio from interfering. He filed that away for later because right now, he had to know who he could trust, and if he couldn't trust Siri—the only other person who really knew what he'd gone through—then he didn't know who he could. Would he just end up back at square one? Unable to trust anyone and unable to move forward because of it?

When she remained mute, he decided to elaborate, not caring who overheard him at this point.

"Apparently they were separated at some point in their childhood and the girl—my daughter—was taken to Alderaan to be raised as Princess Leia Organa. Did you know?"

Siri continued to stare at him, her brow furrowing in thought—Anakin didn't know whether she was contemplating if she could hid what she knew from him, or outright trying to remember. He could tell just about everything else from their bond, but not this. Stupid, unpredictable, light-sided—

Siri shook her head. "If I did know, I didn't remember. With her presence in the Force and the actions she took, it makes sense, but no, I didn't know. Not since I woke up here in any case."

For several seconds Anakin scrutinized her, analyzing every movement and every twinge that came from her through Force. Finally he concluded that he felt no lie from her. She was telling the truth. He deflated somewhat.

"She was right there in front of me the whole time," he told her. "Right under my nose. How did I not notice?"

Siri took a few more steps towards him, nowhere near as angry as she had been, thankfully.

"You know it's a good thing you never found out, right?" she asked kindly.

He slumped even further, sinking down into the chair behind him.

"Yes, I do. But...I tortured her, Siri."

"Wait, what?" she asked, taking a step back.

Anakin put a hand up to his face, partially wanting to hide, partially wanting something else to focus on. "When the plans for the Death Star were stolen, I tracked it to her. She knew where the Rebel Base was. I...had to get that information so I...I... Oh, Force."

For several seconds, they sat in a numb silence as Siri processed that. It took her a moment to gather her nerves. After she did, she knelt down before him, putting his head more or less level with hers.

"Anakin," she said softly, "look at me."

He did so, and he saw her catch her breath. He knew how he must look right now, far too old for the face he wore. Too haunted. Too broken. Too worthless...

"Anakin, that isn't you anymore. You said so yourself," she said, firmly but kindly.

He shook his head. "How can you say that? How when I did—"

"No," she interrupted. "Focus on me—on the here and now."

"I...can't," he protested. "I was so happy when I found out about them—when I found out I was going to be a Father. And then I... Why? Why did I let him manipulate me like that? I loved them so much but they were better off without me in their lives, and that kills me."

"Stop it!" Siri snapped, reaching out and flicking Anakin in the forehead. He blinked, surprised, and absentmindedly rubbed the stinging area with his hand. "Stop pulling an Obi-wan, all guilty and thinking you have to take the worlds on your shoulders and carry them all by yourself."

Another tense silence fell for several seconds before Anakin managed a slight, if watery and rather cynical, smile. "But isn't the Chosen One supposed to save the worlds?"

Her mouth thinned. "No. You're supposed to balance the Force. Besides, no one ever said you had to do it alone."

He didn't know what to say to that. Oh, he'd heard it before, from Obi-wan, Padme and even Ahsoka, but somehow it seemed to mean more right now, and he couldn't pinpoint why. Did he really not have to do this alone? Could he delegate the burden? Well, yes, he'd always known he could...or he thought he did, but in the back of his mind he'd known this burden was his and his alone.

And yet, the way Siri had said that...he could have sworn she was channeling Obi-wan—their Obi-wan. For the first time in a very long time, he truly missed his old master.

And for the first time in a very long time, he listened.

"And anyway, I also don't recall anyone saying you had to do it right now," she continued. "Stop demanding so much of yourself and start being a little more realistic."

And with that, he found he could let his anger go. Really let it go, for the first time. It didn't all leave, and he knew he would continue to be tempted, but he had no other reason to let go than that he just didn't want to be angry anymore.

Somehow, just having her there to talk him down did more to calm him than just about anything else could. Hadn't he just realized he wanted someone to come and save him? Isn't that what she'd done? In his mind, he suddenly got a brand-new image to go along with the phrase 'knight in shining armor.'

"Thank you, Knight Tachi," he whispered, suddenly as calm as he'd ever been. He even managed a small, fond smile. It amused him when his reaction seemed to take the wind out of her sails.

"Wait," she said, freezing in place and blinking as her mind furiously tried to keep up with the situation. "Did you just...thank me?"

He scoffed. "You were obviously just imagining things. Besides, did you honestly think you could waltz down here...in that—" he eyed the short tunic with a raised eyebrow— "without so much as a weapon to stop me?"

"Well, it worked, didn't it?" she asked, although he did notice that she quickly shoved the gap of her robe (and just where had she gotten that?) closed. His comment also seemed to bring Siri back to herself and she looked around, noting where she was and who else was in the room. Her face paled before a very red hue suddenly rose in her cheeks.

"M-master Yoda! And Master..." she faded off, obviously not knowing the other Jedi in the room.

"Tai'k Xio," the older human said with a polite nod, although her gaze lingered on Anakin. She wore an unreadable expression that he suspected did not bode well for them.

Then he realized what he'd just said and done, what Siri had said and done, and just what the consequences of his actions would be. For a moment he just stared straight ahead before his eyes fell slowly closed and had to suppress a groan at his own foolishness. How many years as a supposedly disciplined Sith Lord and he still couldn't' seem to rein in his tendency to act without thinking...no matter how much he'd needed it. Now they'd have to deal with the fallout.

"Master Xio," Siri said. "I must apologize for barging in like that. I...don't know what came over me."

The white-haired master turned a skeptical gaze on the younger girl. "Somehow, I doubt that."

She winced a little in response and glanced at Anakin who shook his head as if to say 'no use'. He couldn't think of anything that could get them out of this one. Kriff it.

"Hmm, yes. Perhaps now, an explanation we can have, yes?" Yoda said in a tone that brooked no argument. He gestured for Siri to have a seat.

She did so, hesitantly. Anakin, deciding that he really didn't want to be alone during this conversation quickly rose and occupied the cushion on the couch next to her. Master Xio took her own seat and an awkward silence fell over the room.

"Well?" Yoda prodded.

Siri looked away, obviously refusing to say anything. Anakin felt a surge of appreciation towards her. Even now she didn't want to break her oath.

Which, he suddenly realized with a cold dread, left this all to him.

Lovely.

Well, no sense in beating around the bush, so to speak. So he looked Yoda straight in the eyes.

"I have a confession to make. I did not come to you before because it sounds...ludicrous to say the least." Beside him, Siri snorted softly in agreement. It felt rather good to have someone backing him up again. "That being said, I no longer believe there is a way to avoid it and so I will come out and say it.

"Siri and I are from the future."

xXx

AN: So, I recently posted some other stories and they're very different from this one. I appreciate readers going and looking them over, but a few of them commented saying I should just give up on those and go back to posting this one. There is NOTHING that will make me want to NOT post this one more than people doing that! I mean, come on! I know you like this story, I love your support, but this is a slow-paced fic for a reason, and I put a LOT of thought into it. Updates are not going to be fast. Sorry. I have a life. I have a job. I have a husband. This story doesn't come first. Honestly, if this hadn't already been mostly written, you probably wouldn't be getting it right now.

ALSO, I am PRACTICING ending stories. If you haven't noticed, I don't do endings very well and I want this one to end well, so I would really like constructive criticism on my other stories so I can learn. I already have almost the entire KH story written out and I want to know if it's a plausible ending. Working on tying up loose ends and whatnot.

If you WANT me to finish this or update faster, the best way is to send me a note with ideas for the future of the fic, thoughts on what has gone on so far, what you'd like to see, what you wouldn't like to see, etc. I get a few of those every now and then and they really, REALLY help my muses.

That being said, I do love reading your reviews, even if FanFiction is not letting me answer them right now. In all my stories, right after it's posted, there's a glitch of some sort and it takes a good week for me to be able to respond to what you write. If you want me to respond, I recommend posting a review here and sending the same review in a PM. That way everyone can see it and I can respond to it (it also counts for the story, and so I really appreciate it).

If you just want to post one review and let me be allowed to answer, you can go to dasobiquiet over on Archive of Our Own and review it there.

I really do love and appreciate all of your support. Thanks to Caradee, Khalthar and SPJaymo117 for helping me out with this chapter. Seriously, I don't know what I'd do without you guys...okay, I would, but it wouldn't be nearly as pretty. ^^;