The Next Week

Over the next week Hermione read the Minerva's journals; she still didn't understand and she was beginning to think she would never understand.

Hermione was settling in living with Severus he was always extremely polite, he treated her with respect and when he made love to her it was mutually satisfying but she knew he didn't love her. Her friends would have told you that Hermione was the most unromantic person in the world; but, the truth was she was very romantic. She had always dreamed of falling in love, marrying the man of her dreams and raising a family.

Instead what she had was an ordered marriage, her mother not her mother and her teacher her real mother. Hermione became more and more depressed; her life seemed just a series of mistakes and problems.

November drew to a close and she still hadn't managed to talk to Minerva about what she had read. Severus still hadn't given her an answer about spending Christmas at Grimmauld Place and Ginny needed an answer so that they could plan on shopping.

Today was the first Friday in December and Molly had asked them to let her know if they were coming for the whole holiday or if they were just coming for the wedding by Monday. So as classes ended Hermione headed to the dungeon and their quarters planning on talking to Severus about their Christmas plans.

Hermione entered the office and found Severus talking to Draco Malfoy. "Oh I'm sorry; please excuse me I didn't know anyone was in here. Hermione hurried into the lab and checked on her potions and pulled out her journal to see if she had anything else that she could do in the hour before dinner. As she read through her notes she wondered what Severus was talking to Malfoy about. Since the first night Malfoy had been exceedingly polite to her but she still didn't trust him any further then she could throw him.

Just as she began to read through her notes Severus walked into the lab. "Did you need something Hermione?"

Hermione looked up and realized that Severus looked extremely tired and very upset. "Nothing really important I just realized that we were supposed to let Molly know if we were spending Christmas at Grimmauld Place by Monday. Are you ok Severus you look tired and on edge?"

"I am fine just dealing with Mr. Malfoy and his attitude has made for a headache this afternoon. I suppose you would really like to spend the holiday with the Weasley's?"

"It would be nice since this is probably the last year that I will be able to do it and with Ginny's wedding coming up it would be much easier to manage if we were at Grimmauld Place."

"Well then owl Molly and let her know we will be attending, ask her to please put us in the rooms at the back corner of the 3rd floor where I normally stay."

"Severus, thank you! I promise I will try to keep Ron, Harry and Ginny out of your way, and make you proud of me."

"Hermione I am proud of you. You are an amazing young woman; I couldn't ask for a better wife or apprentice."

As Severus walked out of the lab Hermione stared at his retreating back and couldn't believe what she had just heard come out of his mouth.

Hermione looked at the clock and realized she needed to get cleaned up for dinner. She hurried into their quarters washed her face combed her hair and changed into a teaching robe out of her potion robe. As she came out of the bedroom Severus offered her his arm and they walked to the Great Hall together.

When they reached the back door to the Great Hall Minerva was waiting for Hermione. "My dear can we please talk after dinner? I'm sure you have read at least some of the journals and I really want to talk with you."

Hermione thought a minute and then nodded; Severus squeezed her arm closer to his body. After he sat Hermione down he leaned over to her, "Are you sure you want to do this Hermione? I know that this won't be easy for you, and with all that's happened in the last few months do you want to face this right now?"

"Yes, I know it won't be easy but I've read a lot of the journals and I just feel like I need to talk to Minerva and make peace with her."

After dinner Hermione and Severus went to Minerva's office to meet with her. Hermione was shaking all over but didn't show it, she handed Minerva her journals back, "Thank you for letting me read these."

Minerva took the books and nodded her head. "Hermione I never wanted to hurt you, but I knew you were happy with your family. I didn't want to cause problems for all of you; I never thought you would know after both of your parents passed away.

I would not have ever told you I would have stood in the back ground and watched you become the amazing woman you are without ever interfering. I just wanted you to be happy that's all in the world I wanted."

"Minerva I can understand why you left me with my family but I can't understand why you didn't tell me when I lost my family?"

"Hermione you were dealing with so much and had been dealing with so much. I didn't want you to have to deal with more. You had lost your family, the war; I didn't want to add more stress to you."

"I'll be honest Minerva I don't know if I'll ever understand but I miss having you in my life. I don't know if I'll be able to forgive you for not telling me the truth and I don't know if I'll ever be able to consider you my mother. But, we had such a wonderful relationship before this and I miss that."

"Hermione I love you and I'll take what ever type of relationship you want. I have never forgiven myself for leaving you behind, even though I know it was the best thing for you."

Hermione hugged Minerva and told her good night she felt like she couldn't take much more. Severus led Hermione back to their quarters; he had gotten to know his wife pretty well; and, he could tell she was hanging on by a very thin thread.

"Hermione would you like a glass of wine?"

Hermione looked around she had forgotten that Severus was still with her. She was still thinking about what Minerva had said and how she should act on it. "I'm sorry what did you say?"

"I asked if you would like a glass of wine."

"No thank you, I think I'll take a shower and do some home work." Hermione walked out of the living room and left Severus standing staring at where she had been.