When We Were Young

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone from Big Time Rush.

"Guilt is anger directed at ourselves."

~PeterMcWilliams

Chapter Twenty Six

Guilt

Carlos sat still, not moving at all. He wasn't as energetic and fun as usual. It was one week after Carlos and Logan's near death experience. Carlos had been released from the hospital five days ago, spending only two days there. Logan on the other hand, was still in there, battling an infection caused from surgery he had to have to remove water that traveled into from the lake and into his lungs.

And everything that had happened was Carlos's fault. At least, that's what he believed.

"Hey Carlos."

Carlos looked up to see James approaching him. Carlos gave a fake smile and a small wave.

"What's up?" James asked, sitting down next to Carlos on the steps leading up to the Garcia's front door.

"Nothing." Carlos simply replied.

"Visit Logan in the hospital?

"Why would I do that?" Carlos snapped.

"Because he's your friend?" James was taken back by Carlos's words and tone. The something clicked inside the brunette. "Carlos, you don't think this is your fault…do you?" When James received no response, he jumped up.

"Trust me Carlos, this isn't your fault, so don't even think that! Logan was the one who ran into the lake to save you. It's not your fault that he got caught in the tube."

Now Carlos jumped up. "Yes it is! I should have been more careful jumping off that rope. If I watch where I landed, then I would not have gotten caught. I had seen that rope and tube earlier. I should have remembered it was down there when I jumped off the tube."

"You can't plan where gravity will pull you down Carlos."

"Then maybe I should try next time then."

Carlos sat back down on the steps. He put his head in his hands and sighed. "It's my fault." He whispered.

"Carlos…" James said.

"It is James! I'm always too crazy. Teachers always tell my Dad that at parent teacher conferences. That I needed to calm down."

"But that's who you are! If you weren't crazy, then you would have never met Kendall and me. If you hadn't been crazy that first day in Mrs. Amber's class, running around, then you wouldn't have knocked over all that paint on Kendall and me."

"Well that was then. But Logan is in a hospital now because of me."

"And you're sitting out here alive because of him."

Carlos lifted his head and opened his mouth to speak. But James was right. He was alive because of Logan.

"Kendall visited Logan in the hospital today." James explained. "Mrs. Knight called my Mom who told me that Logan is going to be out of the hospital in a couple days. Then everything while be normal again."

"What if Logan hates me?" Carlos's voice was barely a whisper. James's ears barely caught his words, but Carlos's eyes said displayed everything he feared.

"Are you kidding me?" James couldn't help but laugh. "He's more worried about you than he is himself! Every time I visit he asks why you haven't visited and how you are doing. Logan misses you."

Carlos couldn't help but smile at that. "Are you sure?" The Latino asked.

"As sure as I will ever be."

A knock came at Logan's hospital room. He looked up from the book he was reading to see who was at the door.

"Logan, you have a visitor." The nurse, Veronica, said.

"Who?" Logan asked. James had visited that morning, and Kendall had left about twenty minutes ago.

The nurse stepped out of the way to reveal Carlos standing there, swinging his foot around and staring at the floor.

"Carlos!" Logan exclaimed. Logan would have jumped up and hugged Carlos, but the doctor ordered him to stay in bed to ensure a quicker recovery.

"I'll leave you two alone." Veronica said smiling. She stepped aside and let Carlos step into the room, and shut the door.

"I can't believe you finally came!" Logan said. "Why haven't you come?"

"Do you hate me?" Carlos asked, still staring at the ground.

"Why would I hate you?" Logan said. He was confused. Carlos was one of his best friends…why would he think Logan hated him?

Carlos took a deep breathe, preparing to face Logan and his condition. He lifted his head. Logan had several tubes in his arms and a heart monitor on his finger. He was sitting upright, staring at Carlos with a confused look.

"Why would I hate you?" Logan repeated.

"Because of what I did." Carlos spun in a circle, his arms outstretched. "Because I did this to you."

"No…" Logan trailed off. He was at a loss of words. Carlos…he couldn't actually believe that.

"Just say it's true. You hate me and don't wanna be my friend." Carlos said.

"No! Carlos, this isn't your fault. Don't blame yourself, don't feel guilty. I'm just happy you're okay. I was so worried about you…why didn't you visit me here?"

"I couldn't face you. You hate me."

"I don't hate you. I promise you that."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Carlos walked over to the bed and gave Logan a soft hug.

"Want to know what Sparky did the other day?" Carlos said, life returning to his eyes. Life that had been missing for days.

"You bet!" Logan said.

The two talked until Veronica said it was time for Carlos to go. Logan and Carlos said their goodbyes, ending with a promise from Carlos saying he would be back tomorrow.

That night, both Logan and Carlos finally slept in peacefully for the first time in a week.

Almost to 200 reviews! Soon, Story of the No Man's Land Series will be publish. Also, I will be publishing a new story along with Nightmare (Story One) soon. Heres the summary:

Would they be the one laying in the hospital bed, fighting for their life, if it had landed on them? Would that day, when everything in Big Time Rush's perfect world was changed been different if that one, simple yellow butterfly landed on them, not him?

Right now I have named it "The Butterfly Effect", but I'm torn between that name and another. Currently, it is named the "The Butterfly Effect" but I also like "The Aftermath of a Butterfly". Which do you title do you like better, or do you have another name you think would fit that summary? Let me know in a review, along with what you think of this chapter.

Reviews and Plots?

-TheRescuer2