A/N: Thanks for all the reviews/favourites/alerts/etc. Y'all are awesome. Thanks also to Ilas for your review, or should I say Merci beaucoup :)
This chapter contains a Cigarette Warning™.
This chapter is late due to a shocking hangover. I am not drinking anymore vodka for a while. The hangover left me unable to create, even though part of this chapter was written while under the influence of aforementioned vodka. Bit harder to do with a rat zombie laying around in your brain.
*COUGH*Justweedandmusicformefromnowon*COUGH* :P
RIGHTTHEN-ONWITHIT!
Disclaimer: I do not own Skins. Bugger. Typos are the property of my iPad and not my creative mind.
Effy climbed up the steps to Katie's flat, and knocked on the door, seeing the light in the window. She heard footsteps, along with some muffled muttering, before the door opened, and Katie stood in the doorway.
"Hi." Effy said. "Did I come at a bad time?"
"Huh? Oh, no... It's nearly finished anyway. Come in." Katie replied, standing aside to let Effy in. The taller girl breezed past her, in that effortless, mysterious way that Katie had grown to admire. Katie shut the door, and followed Effy into the lounge. She picked up the remote and turned the television off.
"You were watching that."
"Yes, I was." Katie replied, sitting down on the sofa. "But now you're here, so..."
"Ah. I see." Effy replied, also sitting down. "It's a shame you missed dinner. It was good."
"I'm sorry. I had something to watch, I told you."
"Geordie Shore?" Effy smirked.
"Ah. Emily told you." Katie frowned. "Well...yeah. I started watching it one night a few years ago, and it was sort of addictive. I like it."
"It's not you, though." Effy replied.
Katie looked at Effy. "Eff..."
Effy shook her head. "Sorry. I just think you are so much better than that, that's all."
Katie nodded. "I know."
Effy took Katie's hand in hers and rubbed her thumb gently over the back of it. "How are you?"
Katie shrugged. "I'm alright. Bit tired. I've just had a long day." She explained. "It was...good seeing you this afternoon, though."
A smile crossed Effy's expression. "I'm glad you came to see me, it was a nice surprise."
"Well, you know, I had to get a look at that poster on your wall again..." Katie said, offhand.
Effy smirked. "Liar. You missed me, you know it."
Katie smiled, slightly. "Yeah, I kind of did." She admitted. "Can I get you a drink, or something?"
"Got any vodka left?"
Katie shrugged, but stood up and went into the kitchen to check. She opened the freezer and saw the half bottle of Smirnoff that lay on it's side next to the frozen peas. "Yeah, half a bottle." She called out to Effy. She slid the bottle out from its icy confines, and picked up a couple of glasses, adding some ice cubes to each one. She turned, to find Effy sitting at the the counter. "Oh. Well, that saves me carrying it all to the sofa." She said, placing the two glasses between them and opening the vodka, pouring a measure into each glass. The calm silence was broken by the cracking of the ice in the glasses. "Or...we could go out to the balcony, if you want."
"Is the view nice at night?" Effy asked.
Katie nodded. "The lights are pretty."
Effy stood up. "Well, outside then." She said, before picking up her glass and walking outside. The night lights of Bristol were twinkling in the darkness, and Effy sat down in the chair on the left side of the table. Katie came out and stood leaning against the balcony, looking out.
"Cheers." Effy said, before taking a sip.
"Yeah...cheers." Katie said, doing the same.
Effy watched as Katie looked up at the stars, before leaning back against the balcony. "Hey. Come and sit down." She said, quietly, sense that something was bothering Katie.
Katie sighed, and turned around, taking in Effy's position. She was sitting in the chair, with her legs stretched out casually, her worn Doc Martens crossed over at the ankle. Her eyes ran over Effy's form, taking in the subtle curves. Katie crossed the balcony to the other chair and sat down, placing her glass on the table.
"Now... Tell me how you really are." Effy said, softly.
"Fine, really, just tired." Katie replied.
"Katie... Be honest with me?" Effy prodded, laying her hand on top of Katie's. She wasn't sure what to expect when she did, but Katie's reluctance to withdraw her hand still surprised the tall brunette. Even more surprising to her was the gentle touch of Katie's thumb as it grazed against her own.
"You've been on my mind, all day." Katie said, quietly.
"In a good, or bad way?"
Katie thought for a long moment. "Honestly, I don't know." She answered, shaking her head. She ran her fingers through her hair and took a deep breath.
"Hey. It's ok... You know I'm not going anywhere." Effy reassured her. "Unless you would like me to go, in which case, I will..." She added, draining her glass.
"No, I..." Katie said, before pausing. "It's not that. I'm glad you're here."
"Ok." Effy replied. "So..."
Katie downed the rest of her glass of vodka and got up. "I feel like I need to be more relaxed for this." She said, going to the kitchen and retrieving the bottle of vodka. She came back out and sat down. "Would you like another?"
"I would, but I don't think dutch courage is going to help, Katie." Effy replied, sliding her glass across the table. "Why can't you just say what you need to say?"
Katie said nothing, as she poured two more glasses, sliding Effy's back across the table. "Emily has always been better with talking about how she feels." She said, before taking another drink. "It always takes me a little to...loosen up."
"I can understand that. But, this is your last before you talk to me, ok?"
Katie opened her mouth to protest, and then closed it again, nodding slowly. "Ok, but...why?"
Effy's blue eyes pierced right into Katie. "Because you shouldn't feel you have to hide from what you want to tell me. I prefer it when you are honest with me."
Katie said nothing, but nodded, and continued to nurse her drink. She was glad that Effy wasn't actively pushing the conversation, rather, allowing her to speak in her own time. She liked the way the taller girl's thumb felt against her own, as they brushed against each other. Gently. As though Effy was telling her that it was ok, and that she had all the time in the world for her. She looked out over the rooftops, seeing the city lights twinkling in the darkness.
Effy finished her glass and placed it on the table between them, watching as Katie turned back to her own glass, sitting almost empty on the table, the ice cubes slowly melting. She was curious about hiw Katie was feeling, but wasn't willing to rush her into speaking. She watched as Katie took a deep breath, and finished her drink, placing the glass a little hard down on the table, and standing up, breaking the contact between them. "Come on, then..." She said, as she went inside.
Effy stood to follow, and entering the flat, she turned around to close the door behind her. She turned around to find the room empty, but saw a flicker of light come from Katie's bedroom. She walked towards it, finally standing in the doorway to find Katie sitting on the end of her bed, staring at her feet. Effy walked into the room, and crouched down to untie her laces, before stepping out of her boots and sitting beside Katie.
"The first time you slept with a girl. How did you feel afterwards?" Katie asked. "I mean... Not right after, but...once you'd had time to think about it."
"You want to know if I'd had second thoughts about it." Effy stated. "No, I didn't. I knew that I liked both."
"Before, or after?"
"Both." Effy replied.
"Right." Katie muttered.
"Katie... Are you having second thoughts about this?"
Katie sighed. "I don't know. Sometimes I think I am, but then... I just think back to last night, and how good it was. I've... Never had sex like that before. And I don't just mean the obvious thing about having never slept with a girl before..." She paused for a brief moment. "I just... Feel like I don't understand myself, now. I thought I did, but you...you've turned my mind on its head."
Effy frowned. "Do you feel like it's a bad thing?"
"Right now, I think I'm more confused than I was last night. Then... it was just doing it to see if I liked it."
"Oh."
"Shit! That's not how I meant it... I don't want you to think it was just about the sex, because it's not." The words left Katie's lips quickly. "It's about you, too."
"Ah." Effy replied.
"I know that I like you." Katie said. "I can't get you out of my head, it seems."
"And?"
"It feels a bit crazy." Katie said. "I don't think I've ever felt like this. About anyone. I've had boyfriends, some of who I was with for a few months... But none of them made me feel the way you have done in the past few days."
"What way?" Effy asked.
"Appreciated. Like I'm worth something."
"You are worth something, Katie. If no one has ever made you feel that, it's a shame."
Katie nodded. "I just don't know why, when it happens, it's...someone I didn't expect." She said, quietly.
"It's too much for you." Effy said, an inquisitive tone to her voice.
"It feels heavy." Katie replied. "It feels...big."
"What did Emily have to say?"
Katie shook her head and turned to look at Effy. "It amazes me how you just...know things." She said. "She told me that if I felt this way, I should just see what happens.."
"And what do you think?"
"I think... That I'm too... I can be a bitch, Eff. I can be acid tongued and mean, and I don't want to be that way with you. You've been patient with me, why I don't know. You don't deserve my temper."
Effy moved around behind Katie, sitting with her legs either side of the elder twin, and wrapped her arms around her waist. "I am patient with you, because I care. I like you a lot. You know that. I'm not used to feeling this either, Katie."
"No?" Katie asked, settling into Effy's embrace.
Effy shook her head. "I've always been afraid of this. Feeling attached to someone." She said, as she linked her fingers with Katie's. "Lust is easy. It's easy to just get off with someone. It's clinical, all pleasure if you are lucky enough...and feelings don't come into it."
"And this?"
"Then... I saw you. I never feel anything more than physical attraction, Katie. But you were different. I sat down and spoke to you, because I couldn't help it. It's like you were drawing me in. You were the spark in the dark room."
"And you didn't push it...why?" Katie asked.
"I could have. But I saw how conflicted you were. There was both interest and fear in your eyes that night, Katie. Not just a fear of me, but fear of yourself. I know you were shaken, I could see it in those beautiful brown eyes of yours. It wouldn't be fair of me to try and get something that you weren't ready to give me. So, even though I wanted you, to a point where I felt it was burning inside me, I waited."
"I see."
"But, do you?" Effy asked.
"What do you mean?"
Effy slid her hand against Katie's stomach and held it with a firm pressure. "What do you feel...here... With me being here now?"
Katie thought for a moment. "Butterflies. And..."
"What else?"
Katie slid her hand on top of Effy's. "Aching."
"It burns."
"...Yes." Katie replied.
"The night we met, you felt it, just as I did. But it scared you, because you didn't know how to feel about it. It's an all-consuming sensation, Katie. A pure need. " Effy explained. "It's only when we give in to it that something beautiful occurs."
"Beautiful." Katie repeats.
"Yes. Last night was beautiful."
"Because I gave in to you?"
"No." Effy whispered. "Because you saw what you really wanted. You forgot about the ideas which keep you locked up inside yourself, and you just went for it."
"I had to see." Katie replied. "I realised that I couldn't...not."
Effy nodded. "But it wasn't just that...was it? It wasn't just...an experiment."
Katie shook her head. "No." She answered. "You are attractive. And ridiculously seductive, I might add. That whole mystery thing you have... It drew me in. I thought long and hard about you, before I gave in. It was... Hard for me, because I've been so adamant for such a long time that I wasn't interested in girls."
"And it took me to change that."
"I guess so."
"Don't be uncertain about it, Katie."
"Ok...then...yes. It took you to change my mind." Katie replied.
A smirk crossed Effy's lips as a short silence feel between them. "You see what happens when you are honest with yourself? It's terrifying, but it is also liberating, Katie. You are more free now than you were before."
"You think?"
Effy scooted backwards, up to the headboard of Katie's bed, and caught Katie's eyes as she turned her head backwards to see what she was doing. Effy held her hand out, and hesitantly, Katie took it and let Effy pull her in close. The elder twin sat with her back to Effy, and leaned back into an embrace which wrapped around her like a comforting hug.
"I know." The taller girl replied. "Everything that we open ourselves to...gives it more freedom to be who we really are."
"But I'm not-"
"It's not about labels, Katie. Clear your mind. Forget about the words society uses to describe people. You are a person, Katie. Regardless of who you sleep with."
"I know that."
"Then...why has it only been now that you've thought about it? Is it because you were made to?" Effy asked.
"I guess I was scared, Eff."
"Of what, Katie?"
"Of not being accepted." Katie replied, unable to hide behind her mask anymore. Effy knew her now, and it was no time to play coy with responses to the questions that Effy was inevitably asking.
"By who? Your friends? Kids at school?"
"No. Worse." Katie said before pausing. "Someone who has always thought the world of me. Someone I was afraid to disappoint."
"Who, Katie? Tell me. Don't be afraid."
"Jenna." Katie said, softly. There was a long pause before Katie spoke again. "My mother."
"Oh." Effy replied, a realisation flickering across her brain. She noticed that Katie's hands were trembling against her skin as they held them in her grasp. "Shhh... It's ok, baby." Effy whispered, as she squeezed Katie's hands gently in her own. The elder twin reciprocated the gesture, appearing to hold on for dear life. Her breathing slowly settled, and her hands ceased their trembling. "You worry that she won't accept you."
"Yes." Katie choked out, her voice wracked with emotion.
"Why?" Effy asked, gently.
She felt the tear that spilled from Katie's eyes as it splashed against her skin. "Because of what she did to Emily. I couldn't bear that." Katie began to sob.
"You're scared of being disowned by her." Effy stated.
"I'm a Fitch, Effy. Family means everything to us."
"I can tell. From talking with you, and the brief moments I've spoken to Emily."
"Emily talks about me?" Katie asked, her body stiffening in Effy's arms.
"Relax. She doesn't have to." Effy replied. "Your mother's influence radiates off both of you. Emily may be comfortable with who she is, but she is very understated... very reserved."
"Oh." Katie said, thinking about her sister. She was out, but wasn't necessarily a flag-waving lesbian. She could detect those who were like her, but she wasn't one of those in-your-face girls who felt the need to announce it to the entire world.
"And you... God, Katie. Emily took the plunge and came out to Jenna... But you don't have to if you don't want to. It's really none of her business, when you think about it. You know she won't be accepting of it."
"I can't lie to her, Effy. She's my mother."
"It's not living a lie as such, just... It's not something she has to know."
Katie sighed. "You don't know my mother, Eff. She has ways of getting information out of people."
"And you don't like having to lie." Effy stated.
"No." Katie said. "But... I can't deny that I want you too."
"You do?"
"Effy. You know full fucking well I do." Katie said, bluntly.
Effy groaned softly. "Fuck. I love it when you are direct with me."
"Perve."
"Yes. But I can't help it. You are too you, for me to not want you."
Katie laughed. "It's so odd to hear someone say that. Most boys have said they want me for my tits."
"Because they are blind to the real you, Katie. Your passion, your bravado... Your willingness to stick up for those close to you... That is worth more than just your physical assets, Katie."
"Christ." Katie whispered. "You are a real wonder, you know that?"
"Katie, You are a beautiful woman. That goes without saying. But there is more to you than just what the boys see. There is a depth to you that they do not discover, because they are too one-track-minded to see it."
Katie shifted around to face Effy, and wrapped her arms around her waist. She kissed her with soft, trembling lips, and Effy kissed back tenderly. "I don't know how I will be sometimes... But I'm willing to... You know, give it a go if you can be patient with me."
"Do you mean that?" Effy asked, suddenly feeling rather vulnerable herself.
Katie looked deep into Effy's blue eyes, and nodded. "I do."
"Can I stay?" Effy whispered.
"I was going to ask you." Katie laughed, before kissing her again softly.
Effy pulled her tighter into her arms and Katie relaxed into the embrace. "By the way..." She whispered, leaning back to look at Katie with smouldering eyes. "You do have nice tits."
Katie felt herself begin to flush and felt warmth low in her stomach. "You're bad, you know that?" She said, before kissing Effy slowly as the taller girl moved her hand up Katie's torso and resting her palm on the bottom of her rib cage.
"Mmm... Can't help it." Effy smirked, reaching up to the collar of Katie's shirt, and toying with the buttons. She leaned in again, catching Katie's lips with hers and kissing them slowly. One by one she undid the buttons on her shirt and pulled it out of the waistband of her skirt. She moved her hands up Katie's stomach and up over her chest before rubbing them across her shoulders and down her arms. The movement of the shirt over her skin caused Katie to shiver, her hand moving to Effy's shoulder as the taller girl kissed down her throat, her arms wrapping back around her naked waist.
Katie grabbed at the hem of Effy's Pink Floyd t-shirt and lifted it up her body, her arms automatically lifting to allow the elder twin to remove it. She stared at Effy, drawn in by her striking blue eyes, and could see what Emily saw in Naomi's eyes. They just grabbed you, in all the right places. And Katie was definitely feeling it...in all the right places. She lifted her hand and gently stroked her fingers down Effy's cheek, and she leaned into Katie's touch.
"Lie down?" Katie asked.
Effy answered by shifting her body up the bed, laying down on her side as Katie lay beside her, immediately wrapping her arms around her and pulling her in for a deep kiss.
"Why, Katie. For once it's not leopard print. I'm both impressed, and shocked." Effy smirked, running her fingers under Katie's black bra strap.
"Contrary to opinion, I do actually own stuff that isn't leopard print." Katie said, with a glint in her eye. "Does that really shock you?" She added.
"More of a turn-on than a shock..." Effy replied, unsnapping Katie's bra and pulling it from her body.
"Are you...ah...serious?" Katie replied, as Effy began to kiss down her neck.
"Uh huh." Effy replied against her skin, the vibration of her lips causing Katie to shiver, her hand skimming up to her shoulder, fingers curling around Effy's neck, threading into her hair as she kisses a trail in between her breasts. She places another single kiss between them and then looks up to catch Katie's eyes with her own. "You look good in anything..." Effy stated, "...or...nothing at all."
"Jesus." Katie whispered, feeling a wave of warmth flood her senses, acutely aware of Effy's tongue as it slid across her breast to the nipple, flicking over it, and then sucking it between her lips. Katie gasped at the warm wet contact of Effy's tongue, and her nipple stiffened under the slippery touch. Her hand skimmed its way down Katie's side and reached around for the zip of her skirt, slowly sliding it down and undoing the button. Katie rolled onto her back and lifted her hips, allowing Effy to slip it down off her legs, leaving her in her dark red knickers.
"Nice." Effy smirked, as she took off her jeans, revealing black underwear, which Katie figured was typical for her, having not seen her in anything but black underwear. But she had no time to think about it, because Effy was performing a cat-like crawl up Katie's body, and the elder twin had never in her life seen anything sexier. She still wasn't sure whether it was because it was because she was a girl, or if it was sit because it was Effy, but at the moment when the taller girl had reached her stomach and was running lazy soft kisses across her skin, she knew she really didn't give a shit.
Effy hooked her fingers into the waistband of Katie's knickers and and began to slip them down her legs, and once they were off her feet, she slowly slid her hands back up her skin, and Katie shivered, Effy's hands coming to rest on her hips as she trailed slow, soft kisses back up to Katie's neck, her thigh coming to rest between the elder twin's legs as she began to suck on her pulse point. Her hips moved upwards, and Katie groaned at the firm contact against her buzzing, wet centre. Her hands slid down Effy's back and slid into her knickers, grabbing her arse, and Effy ground harder into her, crashing her lips against her own.
They continued to kiss and grind against each other for a good few minutes, when Katie slipped her hand around Effy's hip, letting it catch between the two of them, her fingers sliding in between her wet folds and rubbing against her clit. Effy's eyes shot open and found Katie's staring right back at her, watching the taller girl's eyes darken as her body moved closer to the pleasurable touch of her fingers. Effy gave a crooked lazy smile before leaning in and kissing Katie hard, grinding harder into her, pushing the back of her hand against her own soaking, swollen flesh.
Katie groaned into Effy's kiss, digging the fingers of her free hand into her hip as she attempted to find the perfect rhythm between them. Effy realised what Katie was trying to do and her instinct took over and soon they found the perfect balance, settling into the most intimate of dances. Kisses were traded with moans and gasps as they drove each other closer to ecstasy, Effy pushing Katie over the edge first, and then following directly after, moaning loudly as her body stiffened above Katie's, her hips grinding down hard as raw pleasure ripped through her from the motion of Katie's fingers against her.
Katie slid her hand out from between them and rapped her arms around Effy, the taller girl staring into her warm brown eyes. Katie kissed her gently as Effy ran her fingers through her fringe, catching her breath. "You're amazing." She said, quietly.
Katie smiled, biting her bottom lip. "I guess I should take that compliment?" She said.
"Oh yes. Definitely." Effy smirked. Katie stated to laugh, which was muffled by Effy's lips as she kissed her slowly.
A/N#2: Reviews welcome, as always...
Until next time...
~GN~ xo