AN: Music has a huge influence on my writing and inspires me with how certain characters are thinking and feeling. Mostly I have songs on my mind that remind me of Eric and Sookie's relationship. Here is some music I'm listening to: This Love by the Veronicas, Babe I'm Gonna Leave You by Led Zeppelin, Skeleton by Bloc Party, Meet Me Halfway by The Black Eyed Peas, A Lack of Colour by Death Cab for Cutie, My Beloved Monster by the Eels, A White Demon Love Song by the Killers, Toxic Girl by Kings of Convenience, Don't Try to Fool Me by Miss Li, Undisclosed Desires by Muse, So Jealous by Tegan and Sara, Fernando Pando by the Virgins. Listen to them, their all great!

Thanks for your reviews! I'll update again as soon as I can!

Chapter 26: And Now We Don't Remember

Working at Merlotte's in the summer could be really brutal some days. The heat was breaking records this week and I was sweating my buns off serving the customers their lunch. Growing up in the south had certainly caused me to adjust to the weather like clockwork. I couldn't help but feel like moving a little slower while doing my job, but since it was a Saturday, my attentions were demanded of me during the rush. I didn't have time to slow down as more people entered the bar and I hurried over to fetch my next order. I really enjoyed work, especially when I was busy like this.

Sam winked at me from behind the bar and I smiled at him, relishing in the pressure to be quick and efficient. Holly was working by my side, stressing just as diligently. I loved the synchronicity that had been established after years of working off one another. We'd dodge each other gracefully and help the other out when the time called for it. We didn't have to talk. We didn't have much of a friendship outside of work but we clicked into an unspoken relationship when we were at the bar.

This routine worked pleasantly for the next couple hours and finally, the lunch rush dissipated. I had no more customers in my section at the moment so I sat at the bar with Sam, who served me a ginger ale.

"Busy afternoon," he remarked.

"It's summer. People need the chance to get out of the sun," I said, relishing in the cool drink.

"Listen, thanks for working the double shift tonight, cher. It means a lot," Sam said, leaning over, his blue eyes looking bright today.

I smiled. "No problem, Sam." I finished my drink just as Tara and JB du Rone walked it. I beamed as they took a seat in my section. "Back to work!" I said gleefully and Sam eyed me before I turned away from him. I jumped off the stool and rushed over there.

"Oh, wow, Tara, should you even be leaving the house?" I asked her, staring at her massive stomach. "You look like your due..."

"Any minute," she grumbled sitting down clumsily.

"She wanted to get out of the house. I told her I could make her lunch at home, but she didn't want that," JB fretted sitting on the other side of the booth.

"Well, fresh air is good," I said slowly.

"It's too hot," Tara said.

"Yes, well. It's summer and it's Louisiana. What can I get you?" I said cheerily.

"Can you not talk so loud?" Tara snapped.

I exchanged a look with JB who just shrugged. "I'll have just a water, Sookie, thanks," he said.

"I'll have an iced tea," Tara didn't look at me. I wasn't going to take it personally.

"Sure thing," I said, relieved to get away from the tense pregnant woman. Sam smiled, overhearing our conversation and I winced at him, as he handed me my drinks.

I went back to them and asked them what they'd like to eat. They told me and I, not as loudly, told them I'd get it for them quick. I sort of hung back, realizing that Tara wasn't really in any mood to deal with happy people, so I didn't bother them too much. I mostly chatted with Sam about mundane things as the afternoon wore on.

When Tara and JB left I told her I hoped the baby came soon and she just glared at me. Oh well. As the day drifted into night, the sun set, and people came in looking for dinner, one of those included my brother. Jason had come over last week to mow my lawn and I hadn't seen him since. He was on a date tonight, so I carefully sidestepped talking to him on a personal level. I rolled my eyes at him, because really, at this point it was all I could do when it came to my brother. I was happily miding my own business, enjoying my evening when I stiffened seeing who had just walked into the bar.

Somehow, the significance of no sun had slipped my mind. I couldn't deny that I always noted that night's were usually my busiest since meeting vampires, but lately I had a regular schedule of crawling into bed at eleven when Merlotte's didn't require me. Tonight, I didn't get the chance to say to myself, 'Oh, look, the sun has set and the vampires are up. You know what that means?' because it didn't mean anything to me anymore.

I hadn't seen Bill since Las Vegas and the fact that he thought it'd be alright for him to show up after all that, was almost cruel. For all I knew, he could be sneaking around my house every night, but I didn't know and I was glad that I had received the distance from the vampires like I had been assured. Now, seeing him take a seat in my section, I didn't know what to do with myself.

Sam saw me panic in the middle of the room and came over to me, putting comforting hands on my shoulders. "Sookie, I can take care of it if you want."

"No, no," I said hoarsely. I cleared my throat. "It's fine, I got it." I took a minute before I headed over to Bill, who was just as calm and cool as before. He had certainly healed up nice. He looked completely back to normal. I wondered if Alina was still here...

"Hello Sookie," his icy stare boring into mine.

"Hi, Bill!" I said, plastering my nervous smile on my face. "How you doin'?" I didn't really want to know, but it was the polite thing to do.

Bill looked me up and down. I had gained some weight, most of what I had gotten back from the fairy attack in January, and I tried not to feel too self conscious. He looked at my hair, which I had cropped to my shoulders, It was in a pony tail now, but the significant change was there.

"You cut your hair."

"Yes," I said, feeling strained now. "Feeling better?"

"Perfect, now," he said.

"Good, good," I said, sincerely, I was just uncomfortable. I had forgotten, however, the cool silence that vampires brought me. As tense as I was at the moment, I was focusing in on Bill's empty void of a brain and was also more relaxed than I had been in months.

"I'd like to talk to you, Sookie," Bill said.

I heard the cook shout, "Order up!"

"Can you hold that thought? What would you like to drink?" I was grateful for the busy dinner shift to pull me away from Bill.

"The usual," he said. I remembered which one. I procrastinated going back to Bill's section as I busied myself with everyone else firstly. I was avoiding him, it was cowardly, I know.

Eventually though, I had no choice but to see how he was doing. I leaned against the other booth and stared at him.

"How are you doing, Sookie?" The dreaded question. I pursed my lips and avoided his gaze. Now that Eric was king, Bill would probably babble like a brook about how I looked and how I acted to him. I didn't want that.

"I'm fine," I said smiling. "Anything else?" I really wanted to ask him how Eric, Pam and Alina were doing. I was so curious. It wasn't easy breaking ties off with vampires, I had discovered. I missed it, a lot. I missed the action, the forbiddingness, the scariness, the excitement, the dangerousness – I had been so involved in the vampire world for two years, that stepping away from that was really hard.

Bill didn't say anything. He looked as if he was calculating what he should say next. "I miss you, Sookie. The fact is we all do." I didn't know what the heck he meant by 'we' but I was not going down that path.

"That's great, Bill," I said, feeling anger ebb into my good mood. "But you know what? That doesn't matter anymore. You're playing a cruel game on me right now and I'm not going to stand here, playing along. You can come in here and talk to me whenever you want, but these subtle reminders and hints, are just a nuisance. Is there anything else I can get you?" I said sharply.

Wow, I didn't think I had it in me. I must have looked as surprised as I felt. Bill shook his head and stood, staring me straight in the face. He wasn't so much taller than me, so I didn't have to crane my neck at all.

"I apologize for the intrusion Sookie. But I would like to see you again."

I nodded slowly and he walked out the bar. I let out a long sigh of relief. I felt as if misery would pull me under the surface for a second before I shook my head and was bombarded with everyone else's problems. I beamed as best I could and continued on with my job.

It was just me and Sam closing tonight. We laughed over the scuffle between the two girls fighting over Jason a couple hours ago and how ridiculous it was that they thought they had any claim on him. I liked these moments with Sam lately. He relaxed me. He reminded me that there is a calm aspect to life. I had forgotten. Our friendship had improved over the last three months. I didn't know what I'd do without him.

As we walked out of the bar, closed for the night, he stopped me before I could reach my car and he could go home.

"How are you, Sookie?" he asked me, cautiously. Why was everyone so damn curious tonight? I looked away from him and into the night, scanning for any creepy dead guys spying on me. I always did this, but I never had any proof that it was happening.

"I'm fine, Sam," I said, testily. He asked me this every couple weeks and I always had the same answer.

"You seem better."

"Well, I am," I snapped. He smiled at that, although I didn't see it as anything amusing.

"The slow life suits you, Sookie," he said. I didn't like that. I didn't like that at all, because the truth was, I was pretty sure the slow life wasn't for me. As much as I complained about being left alone over the years, without the vampires, my life felt...incomplete. How could I say that to Sam? He relished in this life and I didn't judge him, but it bored me, just like it had before Bill walked into the bar. I was looking for something else and I had gotten it.

"Yeah," I said. I turned to walk away but Sam pulled at my arm. I looked back at him, to find his eyes fixed on mine. It had been three months since I last saw Eric – that was all I could think of. "Sam?" I could catch glimpses of what he was thinking and I wasn't sure I was ready for that. He wanted to kiss me. He pulled me closer to him, and stepped forward so that we were almost touching. "Sam," I breathed out. It may have sounded like a sexy noise, but it was more of a sigh.

He kissed me, tentatively, his hand on the back of my neck. My arms hung loosely at my side. I had forgotten what kissing felt like. Sam was good, he was relaxing, he was trouble-free. His kissing became more focused and he held me tighter, pulling me in closer. Sam was warm, but so was outside. I put my arms around his neck, finding something to do. As I concentrated on the kiss, my mind was subtely reminding me that he was my boss and my friend and I needed that right now, not a kissing partner. But I liked the connection. I liked the intimacy with a man. I had been alone for three months.

That's not anyway to look at it. I didn't need a man. I didn't need Sam to be that man, not now. But I kissed him back, in the moment, allowing myself this. His kisses were becoming fevered and I knew I should pull away soon.

I heard a car screech loudly on the highway and I yanked myself away looking through the trees. It seemed rather pointed to me.

Sam's arms fell away from my body and I slowly looked back at him.

"Are you alright, Sook?" he asked me.

I nodded, my lips felt swollen. They hadn't in a while. "Thanks," I said. I kissed him on the cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow, Sam."

He smiled, big. I turned to my car and safely got in. I sat with my hands on the wheel for a while, going over everything that had happened today. Licking my lips, I turned the car on and headed home.

It was just after one as I pulled up behind my house. I got my keys at the ready and hurried to my door. I was still uneasy about doing this, even though I had done it a million times. When I got inside, the silence, the emptiness hit me like a ton of bricks.

I hated being at home now. I looked around, feeling a bit lost in my own kitchen. I turned on the lights and made myself a quick sandwich after hearing my stomach growl. I let my hair out and it fell to my shoulders. God, I missed my hair. I regretted cutting it. It felt wrong, but hey, what can I do? It was growing steadily and was actually past my shoulders now, but I missed how it used to hang down my back. I sat at the table and chomped on my sandwich, trying to think as less as possible.

Amelia had plans to come up to Bon Temps as a visit for a couple weeks. She had stayed with me almost for three when she drove me back from New Orleans three months ago. Having her there was a big help. I talked to her often on the phone and she had plans to visit again. But she couldn't stay; not now anyway, she had her coven there and was dating a few people.

I cleaned my plate, looking lazily out the window. My mind was elsewhere and I thought I caught a glimpse of someone outside my house. Alright, déjà vu. It could be Bill or Sam or Bubba. I would not panic until I was absolutely sure it wasn't any of them. I angled my head to see if I could catch a glimpse.

I saw the culprit. Standing there, allowing me to see him for a second before slinking off into the night. My heart thumped in fear and I backed away breathing heavily. I ran to my door making sure all the locks were in check. What the hell was Claude doing here?

Gasping, I raced to my room, shutting the door firmly behind me. I was fine, though, right? Amelia had improved the wards around the house when she had visited last. Things should be fine. I locked every lock in my house at night, learning from past experience. Mind you, there wasn't a whole lot I could do to protect myself from the supernatural.

Eric had threatened Claude – so what was he playing at? Maybe he just wanted to talk? Oh, yeah, Sookie, people who creep outside your house in the middle of the night just want to stop and say howdy. I went under my bed and pulled out the iron hand shovel I kept under there. I also had a silver knife that my brother had gotten me when he found out I broke up with Eric. I was surprised he spent so much money on me, but accepted it anyway.

I took the shovel to the bathroom and laid it on top of the toilet seat while I got ready for bed. I had cleaned the shovel before I brought it to my room, so when I had it safely under my pillow, grasped in my nervous hand, I didn't worry about remaining dirt messing up my sheets.

As usual when I was alone, in my bed, waiting for sleep, I began to remember the vampire King of Louisiana, Arkansas and as far as I knew, Nevada too. I had heard bits and pieces of things over the past few months about Eric, but not enough for me to know how he was fairing. Apparently he had gotten rid of quite a few sheriffs around Louisiana and Nevada and he was cleaning up after Felipe's mess – his scared underlings. There was a lot more to do in Nevada, so I assumed that's where Eric had been.

I had to get some sleep though. I forcefully shut my eyes. I was visiting Hunter tomorrow morning before my shift that night. I couldn't be dead on my feet when visiting my young nephew.

I had been spending a lot of time, helping Remy with Hunter since I got back from Nevada. It was really helping me with a good distraction and I was coming to really love having them as my family. I had invited them over several times for dinner and we would played board games. It was going fairy well.

Remy was having a hard time with dealing, but he was doing the best he could to do right by his son. I sympathized with him, I did. I knew how hard it had been for my mom and dad and Gran, it wasn't easy raising a telepath. Hunter was pretty fine with all of it, a lot more than I was. He could control his telepathy amazingly well for his age and I was more impressed by his smarts as the days went on. I loved that little boy immensely; he brought a light to my life.

I tried to relax, breathing evenly. I tried to clear my mind as best I could but it would always remind me about Eric the most at night. I scowled and let out a frustrated scream into my pillow. I was exhausted. I needed sleep. So like most nights, I succumbed to memories of Eric and waited until my tears brought me to sleep.

I woke up the next morning, feeling better when I saw the sun. I hopped into the shower and made myself some eggs for breakfast. Today would be better – the day always was. As I ate my eggs I remembered several things about last night: Bill, Sam and Claude.

After months of nothing happening, like always, I was bombarded with several important issues all at once. I scowled, cleaning my dish. As I stared out the window, at the sun-filled lawn, I looked for Claude, realizing I was in the same situation as I was last night. No, I would not be scared to live my life. I was separated from the vampires, the fairies had retreated to the fae land, so why the hell couldn't Claude get bent?

I dressed in some jean shorts and a bright pink sleeveless top pulling them over my swimsuit and embarking on my day. I drove to Remy and Hunter's house. Today we were going to go to the nearby lake and go for a nice swim. I had packed a lunch for us yesterday morning, putting it in the fridge to keep it fresh and put it in a basket. I honked my horn, smiling brightly as Hunter burst out of the house a t-shirt over his swim trunks. It was eleven in the morning and the sun was already brutally hot.

"Hey, Hunter!" I shouted, as he opened my backdoor and hopping into his seat. Remy was running a bit behind, having to keep up with his son. He was wearing the same ensemble as Hunter and he came out with a bag and a hat.

"Hey Aunt Sookie!" Hunter was bouncing in his seat, excited for a trip to the beach.

"Hunter, you forgot your hat!" Remy scolded, passing it to him through the rolled down window.

"Sorry," he said to his dad.

"Hello Sookie," Remy said, when he got into the passenger seat.

"Hey, how are you?" I asked starting up the car.

"Good, this guy could barely sleep last night he was so excited," Remy pointed his thumb over his shoulder.

I smiled weakly. "Neither could I."

"Aunt Sookie I got you a present for your birthday next week!" Hunter announced.

"Wow? Really? Don't tell me until then," I said. Right, I forgot I was turning twenty-eight. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. That put a bit of a damper on my mood. But I've quickly come to realize you don't have time to feel sorry for yourself when there's a child around.

"You're really going to like it! Can I give you a hint?" he asked. I was purposely avoiding reading his thoughts, which were probably screaming out the answer. I rarely had a surprise coming to me, unless I was with the supes.

"Hunter, let Aunt Sookie have her surprise," Remy said.

Hunter shut his mouth, secretively for about a second before blurting out, "It's really good! And it starts with the letter 'S'!" And just like that I knew exactly what I was getting, the answer slipped through the cracks. "Oh now you know, now you know!" he exploded gleefully.

"Yes, but I don't want it until my actual birthday!" I said. Remy rolled his eyes and stared out the window.

I tried not to feel frustrated with Remy most days. He was really trying to understand. I bit my lower lip and continued to the beach, vowing on having a nice day in the sun. I had gotten my tan to exactly how I preferred it in the summer and was excited to proudly show it off.

Hunter and I swam for a really long time. He had these adorable blue water wings in place and was flapping around in the water. We played tag and Remy even joined us for a little bit. I had to leave soon and get ready for my shift tonight. Near the end, Hunter was getting sleepy, we enjoyed our lunch and began packing up. I dropped them off and headed back home to get changed for work.

I had a nice day but the closer I got to Bon Temps the more I had this feeling that something was going to happen tonight. I thought about Sam and what our kiss last night might mean to him. I really hoped – I still needed time. Things had to go slow. Could I settle in a relationship with Sam?

This thought troubled me greatly when I got home and changed into my uniform and settled my hair as best I could after swimming in the lake. Sighing, either way, I had to let Sam know I didn't want to rush anything. Yes, I would do that tonight. It still didn't ease the pull I was feeling. It reminded me of the bond but I hadn't felt it in months and it was the daytime. Oh well. Time to face the boss.

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