"Eight."

I dug my fingers and toes into the stiff sheets below my outstretched body.

Anything to convince myself that I really was still there.

Sometimes the injections sent me into a state that I could only describe as "nothingness." In those moments, it was very hard to remember who I really was. And that was more terrifying than anything I had ever known.

"Seven." I continued to count back from ten and it was all I could do to say it out loud. I had only gotten through three numbers and it felt like it had been an eternity.

Laura's recent math lesson had inspired the counting. I was six years old and I had only just learned how to count to ten, but that wasn't so strange to me then because I didn't know any better. I was quite proud of the fact that I could also count backwards and it was the only thing keeping me from going completely insane in that moment.

"Six." I didn't dare open my eyes. The sickening glare of the fluorescent lights was enough to set my skin crawling without the threat of losing myself once again.

Despite my efforts, I knew how it would end. No matter how hard I fought it would always happen the same way, but that didn't stop me from trying. I didn't give up willing my mind to stay grounded in it's body. And I would continue to push past the exhaustion that followed after, usually sending me into a deep sleep.

Having finally grown past the constant pain and nausea for the first five years of my life, I was eager to fight the sleep which would soon follow the nothingness. Laura had begun to read more than her children's stories and I was finally beginning to feel like I might go somewhere. Where that some was, well I had no idea and I sure wasn't going to figure out if I was in another mini coma.

"Five." My hands shook pitifully as I felt my hold slipping away.

"Four." And just like that I was gone.

But I wasn't.

I swallowed hard and opened my eyes. I was still in the room. The lights flickered but their buzz didn't reach my ears. My muscles tensed and I was surprised to find that my mind seemed to still be very firmly planted in my head.

"Three." I continued the countdown for good measure.

I raised from my pillows with only a small headache and moved to sit along the edge of the bed. There was no squeak of the mattress or shuffle of sheets. And most peculiarly, no beeping monitors. I stood and looked around the room. Everything was just as it always had been, machines and all. I hardly even noticed the liquid that sloshed against my feet.

I looked down and was horrified to find water reaching just high enough to touch the top of my ankles. The ground still felt hard beneath me but the water was green and I could see what looked like mud at the bottom. The sounds of moving water brought my glare back up and my room, everything I had ever known, was gone. The cold walls were replaced with thick green trees on either side of me. In front of me lay a wide strip of water that seemed to have no end in sight.

My gown blew against my body and I turned to face away from the intrusive wind. And that's when I saw where, not ten feet away from me, an enormous bridge sat in the water. The great arch rose so tall I had to look up and squint against the bright sky. The stones were covered in greenery, as if the plants were slowly eating it. Beyond the overpass was the same endless stretch of water.

"Two." I didn't move an inch. Even when I saw two shadowy figures perched comfortably on top of the rocks just beneath the right supporting leg of the bridge.

"You're here!" A curly head of hair popped out of the darkness and bounced its way towards the edge of the rocks.

I couldn't stop my shaking hands from grabbing the edges of my gown and bunching it up in a nervous vice. The voice belonged to a young girl around my age. Her bright blue eyes blazed along with her jumping hair. The other figure stayed sitting higher up on the rocks.

"Am I dead?" It wasn't very far-fetched after all.

"Of course not. You're just... Here." At that she waved around.

"Where is here?" Perhaps I really had lost my head after all.

"Well you call it InBetween. I'm still working on an official name. What do you think about World of Wonder? No, that's not it. Maybe WonderWorld? Yes, that's getting closer." At my silence she continued, "Oh don't worry too much. It always comes back to you in time."

I turned around once more, searching for anything familiar and trying to convince myself that it wasn't real. Everything was just as vibrant and mesmerizing as before, still no room. If I had known any better, I would have surely believed that I had gone mad. But somehow, in the very souls of my feet it felt right, it all made some kind of sense in the strangest way. It felt right.

"What comes back?"

"Your memories silly. Oh it's so frustrating having to go through this every time. Peter, it's your turn." The girl turned to face the other figure and I had to look very hard to see past the shadows and finally find a face.

He was a boy. Slightly bigger than me or the girl. Where her eyes were warm and blue, his were a striking green. Where the girl wore a gown similar to mine, the boy had a white shirt and pants on. They both shared the same dark skin and hair.

"Belle." His voice was young but it held something very serious just behind its youth.

"Oh come on, she'll be fine once she knows. She always is." The boy did not respond and the girl returned to me, taking it upon herself to fill the silence once again, "You see, we're neighbors. Not here, but back in the rooms. You don't know it when you're awake, but when you sleep... Well it's not really sleep but…"

The boy interrupted her rambling with a hint of annoyance in his voice, "You're not telling it right."

"Then you do it." With a murmur and a sigh, the girl began to crawl up the rocks past the boy and towards the trees before calling back, "See you soon, Alice." I still hadn't moved.

The boy finally rose and moved to stand exactly where the girl had been along the edge of the rocks. Then he took one step further and settled into the water, soaking the bottom of his pants. All of a sudden, the serious face was gone and he smiled with his arm stretched out towards me, "Want to hear a story?"

My head spun as the world did the same. I felt weightless for a fraction of a second before smashing face first into the ground and sending a pile of leaves flying into the air. I struggled to control my breathing as I inhaled the wet dirt of the forest. With a huff and a rather crude choice of words, I rolled over and onto my back.

Somehow I had managed to untangle myself from the protective branches of my new napping/lookout tree while I slept. I hadn't even known that I had drifted off but the serenity of the calm night sky had managed to dissolve my worries and I was gone before I knew it. The fall was the least of my worries though, as flashes of a green bridge and a boy in white plagued my vision.

Belle had been real. I was sure of it as I felt the star shaped scar just behind my ear. But Peter. There were so many questions that I couldn't even begin to form answers for. Still in the thralls of the vision, I struggled to make connections with it all. The mysterious boy I had encountered in all of my memories of InBetween was indeed familiar. Even as I recalled the day in the fields with Monty, I now knew with certainty that those green eyes belonged to the boy named Peter.

But where did he fit into it all? Belle had said they were my neighbors. If that were true, then he was a prisoner, just like me. He wore the same white scrubs as I once had and when I tried to recall every time I had seen him, I could swear he never wore any shoes. There had been an extra door the day I tried to escape, could he have possibly been behind it? It was all too much to comprehend however, and as it had happened before, distraction found its way in the form of Octavia bounding through the trees.

"What are you doing on the ground?" Nothing could phase this girl, even as she kneeled beside me and picked several leaves from my hair. She reached for my arm and made to pull me up.

"Flying of course. Can't stick the landing yet." I realised my mistake too late as her grip released and I went falling back on my butt.

"No way. Don't mess with me on this, Alice. Are you serious?" I could see the constant pent up energy just waiting to burst out in her excitement. I helped myself up this time.

"Unfortunately no. I was taking a nap and I fell." I pointed to the tree and brushed the rest of the foliage off of my clothes.

"I can't believe you. I actually thought for a second… Anyway, I'm not giving up on the whole flying thing."

"Serafen do not fly. They fall." Lincoln emerged from behind a cluster of trees and leaned against the bark of one of the smaller ones. A small patch of sweat had begun to pool on his forehead and his breathing was slightly labored, but he kept his stance locked with determination.

"Oh I'm tired of hearing all this prophecy nonsense. She's Alice. Just Alice." Octavia distractedly moved to Lincoln's side and seemed to study him, as if she were worried he might collapse right there and then.

Their relationship had certainly grown since the night before and I could only imagine that it was just the beginning. Long after Finn had left me with his strange words, I had escorted Octavia back as promised and after a short exchange of awkward pleasantries, I left them alone to return to my tree. It was clear that Lincoln had shared all he was willing to just yet and there was no point in lingering when I wasn't needed and I myself was in much want of a solitary moment alone.

"You're doing much better. You'll be up and running in another day, I'm sure." I approached the two but kept my distance.

"Octavia is quite the healer. The supplies you brought were very helpful as well." Once again, Lincoln managed to display both gratitude and prudence in addressing me.

"Good. We should get going." I looked to the sky to find that more time had passed than I thought. I couldn't help but think of Finn and his forbearing remarks.

"I'll be back tomorrow." With a kiss on the cheek and a skip, Octavia left Lincoln and joined me in the descent to the camp.

"Don't you think a break would do us good? Bellamy will be getting suspicious once he notices that you're sleeping all day and it's only a matter of time before we're caught sneaking out." Not to mention the fact that I was suffering from lack of sleep and subsequently, so was my ability to focus and keep Octavia safe.

"Bellamy is too wrapped up in his little army to notice anything right now and you found a way to get us out unseen. I know you Alice and I know you're only trying to watch out for me. But you don't have to. I memorized the way here and I can do it myself now. You should get some sleep and stop worrying. It's starting to show." Octavia patted underneath her eyes and seemed to suggest that my own were looking worse for wear.

"You must be crazy if you think I'm letting come out here alone and I'm sure Lincoln would agree. You heard him yesterday, the Grounders are searching the entire forest for him. They need answers and Lincoln is the only one who knows what happened the night I was attacked." It had been established that Lincoln planned to lie to the Grounders once they found him, and they would. We just hadn't managed to think of a very good excuse for his partner's death or my own survival.

"We might have mentioned that tonight. There may be an answer for that but I didn't think you would like it very much…" Octavia avoided my intrusive stare by looking up through the trees and into the dark sky.

"Well, go on then?" There wasn't much I wasn't willing to do to protect Lincoln or anyone else in the camp for that matter.

"Lincoln explained it this way…" Octavia paused and seemed to gather herself in preparation for her explanation, "The Grounders respect strength. They knew you had powers but if they think you are unstoppable or invincible then… Well they might stop trying to kill you and want to join you. They might even want to create an alliance with the camp as well." We were nearing the camp walls but Octavia stopped and turned to me to warrant my full attention.

"I don't know about an alliance but anything to end the death order is worth a try. How exactly do you propose we make them think I'm unstoppable. If you hadn't noticed, I am very much prone to… Incident." I could understand that strength was a valued commodity in a world so dangerous, but it didn't seem very likely that the Grounders would change their mind on me so easily.

"See that's the thing. You've been beaten down but you always survive. You're strong and you can do things that no one else can. The Grounders' belief in Serafen goes much further than parlor tricks and fairy tales. To them, you would be like a god. Lincoln believes that his people would value that. But there are a few minor details that we might have to... tweak if you will." Octavia seemed very intent on avoiding the actual answer to the question, but she did seem to truly believe what she was saying.

"Which would entail?" I was still listening.

"The other Grounder that Lincoln killed, if it had been you that took him down… And then there would be the arrows. He could say that all three hit you and you didn't even flinch. And the storm actually was you so that wouldn't be a lie. Do you see what I mean? You really would sound like a god." Octavia's voice began to rise in her frenzy and I had to shake my head to make sure I was hearing right.

"Wait a minute. You want to say I killed the Grounder? How could that possibly make things better? That might as well be starting a war. And I could never hurt anyone. I would never." I was furious at the selfishness of my thoughts. If the Grounders thought I was an invulnerable killer, they would surely fear me. The first thing that came to my mind was the way they might look at me. Like a monster.

"They're not like the Arc. It's a completely different way of life down here. Nearly everything they do is ruled by their religious beliefs. Sure if one of the 100 attacked they would retaliate, but you aren't Sky Crew to them. As much as I hate to say it, you are Serafen."

I plopped down onto a protruding tree root and rubbed my temples. I would have never believed that thinking could be more exhausting than running through a forest or escaping a river monster. Octavia's points were somewhat valid, but they sounded so far fetched and desperate that it was hard to find solidarity in them.

"Sky Crew?" One question at a time.

"It's what they call us."

I could feel my resolve fading. I had no idea how much time we had left until something else went wrong and I certainly wasn't in the right state of mind to think of a better solution. The Grounders' reach was far according to Lincoln and there was no denying that I would have to face them eventually.

"You two sure did have a lot to talk about."

"Well, it wasn't all talking." Octavia's shift in emotions nearly gave me whiplash. How she could go so easily and effortlessly from survival strategy to kissing and Lincoln was far from me.

"Alright that's enough for one night." I held up my hands as if that might stop me from hearing whatever else she was about to say, "Get back to the camp and try not to sleep all day. If I'm not mistaken, Monty has a surprise for the camp later today." The statement hit me that it was already the next day.

"What about you?" At the mention of sleep, Octavia yawned and I had to strain to understand her past the noises and muffling.

"I'm going to clean up first. I won't be far behind you." I examined the dirt in my nails as I spoke. Clean would be nice.

"Whatever you say. Hey! Tomorrow is Unity Day. Find me later and I'll do your hair. It's my own little tradition!" Octavia was already through the trees before she could finish and I just sat there with my hand in my hair.

There was no point in telling her that Unity Day was not actually a tradition for me. I had only just began to comprehend the concept of holidays several days before when one of the campers had spoken of the different celebrations on the Arc. Unity Day in particular, held a certain amount of irony for me. It was a day dedicated to peace, harmony, and a past that didn't really belong to me.

Unwilling to dwell on the dangerous thoughts of things missed, I forced myself to stand and move on. More specifically, I moved on to the secret water hole. I busied myself by peeling off my now dirty clothes and setting them on the edge of the water. I refused to take off my undergarments, despite the fact that no one was around to see for several hundred feet.

The first dip into the water was enough to convince me to stay in for the rest of my short miserable life. The water was just the right amount of hot and cold and the moon's reflection almost made it look white in the darkness. The smooth liquid seeped over my injuries and caused a painfully pleasurable sensation to replace the familiar aches. I waved my hand through the water, sending ripples across the small pool.

The strange weightless feeling of the liquid reminded me of my latest revelations. In my mind, I could see the green water that ran across my feet just before I entered InBetween, but I couldn't feel the same sensations that I felt just then in the pool. It occurred to me that I shouldn't have recognized as much as I did in that visit to InBetween. I had just barely grasped the concept of numbers and counting let alone a fictional setting on Earth, which I didn't even know existed at the time. All I had ever known was the cold floors and hard walls of my room. I didn't have the mental experience, capacity or knowledge required to make up such a place by myself. I shouldn't have understood that I was standing in water, or that it was a bridge that crossed over the running rapids. Even mud was a foreign concept to me.

I learned all of this later from Laura and her device, when I was awake of course. But the fact that I had understood it in InBetween must have meant something. When I was there, it all made sense, like I had known it all along and it was just taking a while to come back to me. That was what Belle seemed to be trying to tell me anyway.

The InBetween was a place that I had visited many times before. It was a place where I knew Belle and Peter and it was a place of imagination where anything was possible. With such thoughts in my mind, I couldn't help but wonder if it was all merely insanity. The product of isolation and abuse.

No. I wouldn't accept the fact that they had broken me so inconceivably. Belle and Peter were as real and fantastical as my own powers and I could prove it to myself right then and there. I stopped waving my hand in the water and let it sit with my fingers breaching the surface. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the movement of the water. I could feel it molding around me and when I raised my arm into the open air, I could feel something rise with it.

The breeze picked up just enough to chill the water droplets on my arm and I looked up. There in front of my hand was a floating ball of water. It wasn't perfectly round and water dripped from the bottom, but it was floating nonetheless. I was doing that. I laughed and felt the unmistakable bliss of my epiphany. It was significantly more easy to accept my powers when I was in control. And if I could control my powers, maybe I could control my future. All I had to do first was understand my past.

I let the water fall and submerged myself in it. My hair extended in the liquid and floated in the bright pool around me. I will find a way.

With renewed clarity, I rose from the water and looked into the reflection of the moon. To my surprise, I could see my face quite clearly. Octavia hadn't been lying about my eyes. They were red and dark circles had begun to form just around the lids. As sad as it looked, it did bring out the little green that was still left in my irises. The rest of my face looked slightly thinner than I remembered. If I wasn't mistaken, my hair had grown slightly longer, despite the short time that I had been awake to even notice it. There was something else that was different about the way I looked, but I couldn't quite place it.

With the tiniest sliver of light beginning to emerge from the horizon, I hastened to beat the dirt off of my clothes and dry my hair. It wasn't long before I had snuck back into camp without a sound and found a secluded area to rest myself. The nap in the tree had done little good and my eyes felt dry and heavy. It was quite a bit longer until the morning sun would fully show itself and I planned to take that opportunity to pass out.

It's strange how quickly my mind could go from hyperdrive to a complete flatline. I didn't exactly remember the moment that I finally went to sleep, but it wasn't hard to distinguish my awakening as a loud bang threw me out of my little slumber. I frantically looked around only to find that someone had accidentally dropped a crate of supplies over the entrance of the dropship. Unfortunately, I also spotted Bellamy who had apparently seen my little startle and now smirked from a distance.

"You look better." Clarke's voice tore my horrified eyes from Bellamy and I realized that she sat not too far away from me.

"I didn't realize I looked so bad before." I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and tried to look to sky to gauge how long I had been out. It must have been at least midday.

"Just tired. You've become quite popular you know. I've been fending people off all morning. I figured you could use the rest. We've both been so busy around the camp that we haven't had much time to talk to each other." Clarke herself looked a little tired. Whether it was from work, worry, or both was uncertain.

"It's kind of strange. It's been so quiet." I looked to the trees, expecting anything to jump out and punish me for such a bold statement. The quiet was always just before the storm after all.

"Enjoy it while you can. When the Arc comes down who knows what will happen." I followed Clarke's line of vision to find Finn and Raven sitting together across the camp, affectionately holding one another. Clarke was definitely distracted, otherwise she never would have said what she did and she realized it only afterwards.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to… Everything will be okay when they come. We'll figure out. I haven't told my mom about you like I promised, but when I know it's safe and no one is listening, maybe I could convince her to… We're not really talking right now either but..." She was at a loss for words. I nearly laughed at my current predicament. At present, it seemed more reasonable to face the Grounders than the Arc.

"Clarke, it's okay. One thing at a time. Right now, food would be good." Damn my appetite. I would have to do some serious adjusting to my new needs. While it had provided a good distraction, I was no fan of the raging hunger that seemed to appear out of nowhere and control my every thought and move.

Clarke laughed and rose, waiting for me to follow, "I wondered when you were going to get your appetite. I don't think I've ever seen you eating? Huh." I only laughed along and conceded to the fact that I couldn't really hide anything from Clarke. She didn't have to know about the feeding tubes, however. No one had to know about those.