Knight's Bloom

by R2s Muse

Disclaimer: Dragon Age and its characters belong to Bioware. I'm just borrowing and enjoying putting words into their mouths.

A/N: Following their flight from Kirkwall, Hawke, Cullen and friends regroup and try to decide where to go from here.

Chapter 26: Goodbyes

From the top of the cliff where he and Marian were strolling, Cullen could see a swift, sleek ship pulling into dock. Its sophisticated bearing contrasted sharply with the more modest fishing vessels otherwise populating the small village where they had taken refuge. Unable to see its colors from this distance, he could only guess that it came bearing news. News that had been scarce in the two weeks since they'd fled Kirkwall.

The fishing village of Marlsburg was about 30 leagues down the coast from Kirkwall. It was small enough not to have its own local garrison of Templars at the Chantry and far enough from Kirkwall to give them a respite while they reviewed their options.

When they had first arrived, Marian had been frantic about the loose ends they'd left behind, and it had been all he could do to stop her from rushing back to Kirkwall. Luckily, Varric showed up three days later with Bodahn, his son Sandal, and the dog, as well as several small bundles of Marian's and Cullen's belongings. Bodahn, with his usual sixth sense about Marian's needs, had already discretely collected their essentials when Marian hadn't returned home and the Seekers had started asking questions about her whereabouts. Although the estate was under surveillance, it had been easy for Bodahn and his son to disappear one day while walking the dog. In parallel, Varric had convinced a kind noble family that owed Marian a favor to hire Orana.

Bodahn had only been able to spirit away the things Cullen had kept at the estate, which were now contained in one meager satchel. Cullen ruefully acknowledged that everything he really valued had been there anyway, so he tried his best to focus on the positive: that at least he had some clothes that fit and, somewhat impractically, the book Marian had given him for Solstice.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get any of your stuff out of the Gallows, Lover Boy," Varric had apologized. "Seems your friend Christiane has put the fortress in lock down as she consolidates her power in Kirkwall. Even I'm not talented enough to sneak in there now."

Apparently Christiane had wasted no time. She had installed herself as acting Grand Cleric, and although she had appointed Leon as acting Knight-Commander, it was clear she was really running the Gallows as well. She already had reverted to many of Meredith's old policies regarding the mages, revoking the freedoms Cullen had instituted. It cut him more deeply than he would admit to see his hard work unraveled in just a few short days. Picturing Tilda's response to these changes, he imagined it wouldn't be long before discord returned to the Kirkwall Circle.

Four days later, more news had arrived along with Aveline, Donnic and Merrill, and most of their belongings.

Aveline already had been questioned multiple times by the Seekers regarding Marian and Cullen's disappearance and Augusta's death. Apparently the story from Christiane was that Cullen had killed the Grand Cleric during his unlawful rescue of Marian from incarceration. Aveline and Seneschal Bran had tried to dispute these charges, but the evidence was rather damning in light of Christiane's "first hand" account.

After several veiled threats that suggested Christiane was removing any potential barriers in her rise to power, Aveline figured it was only a matter of time before she was implicated in the debacle as well. They were all shocked to learn that, in an attempt to avoid any negative consequences for the guard, Aveline had resigned her post as Guard-Captain. Then, citing all the instability and increasing strictures imposed by Christiane, the trio had decided further that it was time to move on from Kirkwall.

That had been the last news they had heard from the city and Cullen was anxious to know more. He turned to Marian. "There's another ship docking. Why don't we head back?"

She nodded and then turned to retrace their steps back down the picturesque bluffs where they had taken to walking in the afternoons. He joined her and tried to take her hand, but as with every other time he had tried to touch her in public since their exile, she gently pulled away.

He sighed heavily, deciding to say something this time. "Marian, no one can see us out here. And, even if they did . . . no one knows us. We don't have to be careful here."

"I don't want us to get too comfortable. I don't want us slipping up when we return to Kirkwall." She made it sound as if this were imminent.

"Return to Kirkwall?" he said in surprise. "I don't see that happening for some time yet. Maybe . . . we should be getting comfortable."

"No! We will go home. Once I set the record straight and clear our names. Once I find a way to fix this . . ." Her face was set in determined lines as she watched her feet pick their way down the steep path.

This seemed to confirm his suspicion that she was blaming herself for everything that had happened. "You know, this isn't your fault," he said softly.

She was quiet, but the stubborn set of her jaw clearly indicated that she thought it was.

"The Grand Cleric and Christiane have caused this," he continued, "with their intolerance and discontent."

"Intolerance of me. A mage."

He stopped walking and waited for her to stop and face him before he continued. "And retribution for what happened with Meredith. And intolerance for reason and fairness in the rule of a mage Circle. There are many factors leading us to this point. If we're assigning blame, I share as much as you do. If not more."

"I won't let us lose another home," she said mulishly. "Not without a fight."

"Maybe . . . it's time we begin to look at this differently. Perhaps this is a blessing in disguise."

"A blessing that we're fugitives?" She didn't bother to hide her incredulity.

"Well, not that part of it," he said with a smile. "But, I've been thinking . . . maybe we should just . . . leave. Embrace this as our chance for a new start somewhere else. Together. Without all the strictures that have been keeping us apart."

She was silent, staring at him wide-eyed, and suddenly the legion of insecurities he'd been holding back broke loose.

Before he could stop himself, he was backpedaling. "Unless . . . you don't want us . . . together. You know . . . just because we're both on the run, doesn't mean you're necessarily stuck with me. If you want—"

"No! Oh Maker, no, Cullen! How could you possibly . . .?" She advanced on him and roughly grabbed his tunic in two tight fists. "I do want us together. I need us together. I love you! I just . . . feel so horrible . . . so responsible for what you've lost. What about everything you've built in Kirkwall? Everything we've built?"

A small, tight knot in his stomach started to relax at her words. He took her shoulders gently in his hands. "Does any of that really matter if it is already destroyed or perverted with lies and slander?"

"So, you think we should just give up?"

"I think . . . even if we end up clearing our names, a lot of damage will have been done. Especially with Christiane now in charge, I don't think there's any way things could go back to the way they were. We'd just be waiting for the next challenge, the next threat, and constantly fighting more battles. Is that the life we want for our child?" He paused and then gave a small laugh. "And, honestly, I think our chances of getting our relationship blessed by Christiane are, um, rather small."

This elicited an involuntary gurgle of laughter from her. She loosened her grip on his shirt and sighed. "Cullen, what about the Order? How can you leave it behind?"

"Marian, the Order is always with me." He put his hand to his heart. "It's my inner moral compass. And, my duty. My duty has just . . . evolved now to protecting you and our family. I still have my purpose, and thankfully, I'm still able to fulfill that purpose. That's all any man can ask for."

While she considered this for a moment, he asked, "Is Kirkwall so hard for you to leave behind?"

She looked away, solemn eyes reflecting the churning sea that tumbled below them while she worried her lower lip. "Kirkwall has become my home. Almost eight years and I feel more a part of the people here than I ever did growing up in Lothering. It has given me my purpose." She looked back at him. "But can I leave it? I realized a few months ago that, yes, I could. The only thing I can't leave is you." She looked down at his shirt, idly smoothing the wrinkles she'd caused there. "You know . . . my Templar said he would always keep me safe. What else can I do but go where he goes?" She looked back up at him with crooked smile.

A relieved grin spread across his face and he felt the last of his uncertainties fall away. He pulled her into his arms, gratified that this time she didn't pull away, and held her closely. He closed his eyes and felt the stirrings of hope that his mad idea could work.

She rested her head against his chest. "You know, we'll be fugitives for the rest of our lives. Dodging Seekers and who knows what. Also not much of a life."

"So long as we're together, that's all the life I want or need. A life where we can finally walk in the sun."

He felt her smile against his chest. "Hmm, a life where one of us will finally have to learn how to cook."

He laughed long and hard at this, feeling the unspoken tensions from the last two weeks fully unwind at last. "You've found the fatal flaw in my plan!"

She looked up at him from the circle of his arms, smiling fondly. "Well, if Ser Cullen can put down his Templar arms, I suppose I can be brave enough to pick up a cooking ladle." She looked thoughtful for a moment. "I suppose this is also my chance for a normal life again."

He chuckled. "Hmm, I don't know that mage and Templar fugitives settling down together to welcome their precociously magical new baby would be most people's idea of normal."

She grinned. "I guess we're not most people. But, I do like the sound of the settling down part."

He tightened his arms around her and dropped a kiss lightly on the top of her head. "Now we just have to figure out where that will be."

ooXXoo

As she and Cullen walked into town, fingers locked together, Hawke could now see that the newly arrived ship was flying the Prince of Starkhaven's colors. She felt her stomach clench at the thought of seeing Sebastian. She was ashamed that she hadn't been in contact with him since he'd left Kirkwall, a short but eventful three months ago. She hadn't known what to say about Cullen, especially with her recent relationship ups and downs.

They entered the village's single inn, heading automatically to the private common room set aside for their use. She stopped uncertainly on the threshold. Sebastian was already in deep discussion with Aveline, Donnic and Varric, but they fell quiet when she and Cullen arrived. Sebastian's sharp eyes immediately noted their entwined hands. She smiled at him tentatively, and although he gave her a smile back, it was the Prince's diplomatic smile that masked any real emotion.

Cullen squeezed her hand, giving her a look of encouragement, and then wordlessly left room. The others followed and soon she was alone with the Prince. Now that her hands were free she couldn't figure out what to do with them, so she wrung them nervously.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you," she said.

"Actually, I've been in contact with Aveline and she had already warned me." His brow creased briefly. "I . . . was worried about you. You were in such a depression when I left . . . I wanted to make sure you were well."

"Still, I should have told you myself. I'm sorry you had to find out that way. It all just happened so fast . . . Was it really just a few months ago that we were dancing at a ball?" She gave a small laugh that just came out sounding awkward.

He approached her, replacing the Prince's smile with genuine warmth, and put his hands on her shoulders. For a moment, his face shone with the depth of his love for her, giving her a brief glimpse of what she had missed out on, but then it was gone, hidden behind his enduring friendship. "You don't need to apologize, Hawke. I have faith that everything works out as it should. Seeing the obstacles you have each overcome to be together, it seems that it was meant to be. I . . . also heard that the Maker has already blessed your union, and . . . congratulations are in order?"

She blushed and felt her lips involuntarily curve into a contented smile. "It seems so."

"Your Templar works fast, I will say that for him," he said with a lopsided grin. "I wish you both happy, Marian. Truly." He let go of her shoulders, taking her hands. "May the Maker watch over you and yours and guide your steps through the challenges to come."

"Thank you, Sebastian." She rashly threw her arms around him and embraced him tightly.

He gently disentangled himself. "I suppose I should let everyone know they can come back in without feeling uncomfortable around us. I have important news everyone should hear."

It wasn't long before all her friends had joined them in the common room. It had become their custom to gather in the evenings this way, ostensibly to strategize their next steps; however, more often they spent it chatting, playing cards and laughing, as if trying to enjoy these stolen moments away from the real world.

Looking around the room, Hawke tried to fix everyone in her memory. Isabela and Aveline were exchanging insults with their usual fondness. Varric was passing out drinks, insisting again that it would help everyone's thinking process and needling Cullen that he needed one most of all. Sandal and Merrill were trying in vain to get the dog to do tricks with bits of scraps from dinner, while Bodahn admonished them for spoiling the warhound. Fenris and Donnic were using the downtime for a quick hand of diamondback, each wordlessly frowning at their cards. At last her gaze fell on Sebastian and she realized that he had been watching her. He gave her a half-smile and then quickly looked away.

Once everyone was settled, Sebastian's first words threw the room into silence. "The Kirkwall Circle has fallen. The mages have finally rebelled against Christiane's strict new measures, following the rest of the country into chaos." He looked at Cullen. "This time, even some of the Templars have rebelled against her in support of the mages, the new Knight-Commander Leon among them." He then turned to Hawke. "Hawke, you might be pleased to hear that they again rebel in your name. But, this time, as a defender of mages."

Sebastian frowned, and if it were possible, his expression became even grimmer. "Also, word has come down from Val Royeaux. You and Cullen are considered fugitives from justice. You've both been officially charged with the deaths of Seeker of Truth Frollo and Grand Cleric Augusta. I . . . think there's little hope that you'll be able to return to Kirkwall, or even the Free Marches, for the near future. In fact, you may not truly be safe anywhere within the Divine's influence."

Hawke felt her mouth fall open as she stared at him, knowing she shouldn't be surprised at this but feeling stunned all the same. Trying to focus on something concrete, she asked, "Sebastian, what about Aveline?" She still felt horrible that Aveline had been drawn into this.

He looked over at the guardswoman. "From what I understand you are still a person of interest in the investigation. But, I was told that if you were to stay away from Kirkwall, it is unlikely to progress beyond that. No one else, to my knowledge, has been specifically implicated."

Aveline nodded her head in understanding, but Donnic looked concerned. She put her hand over his with a smile. "Good then that we were planning on leaving anyway," she said softly to him.

Hawke was still trying to absorb all of this, that she and Cullen had been branded murderers. That Aveline was essentially exiled from Kirkwall. It all seemed so unfair, but then again, she and Cullen were ultimately responsible for killing Frollo and Augusta. She was starting to feel better about Cullen's plan since it seemed now their chances for clearing their names were becoming increasingly slim.

"What of the Viscountess's seat?" Cullen asked.

"It looks like Kirkwall is headed for another power vacuum," Sebastian said. "The nobles don't know what to think about the charges against Hawke, but no one is brave enough to step forward. What's more, Christiane has made it clear that she will not extend her support toward appointing anyone new." He snorted. "Publicly she says it's because she is hopeful Hawke will someday prove her innocence and return to Kirkwall."

"So it's Meredith all over again," Cullen said softly.

"Indeed. Only worse. At least Meredith was forthright about her intentions, extreme as they were. Christiane, on the other hand, seems to speak with a forked tongue.

"On the bright side," Sebastian continued, "I've been in contact with King Alistair and Queen Elissa. Hawke, they've agreed to give you asylum in Ferelden." He nodded at Cullen. "Both of you. For as long as you need. I have a ship and escort ready to take you to Denerim in safety."

Hawke blinked in surprise at this and then looked up at Cullen where he stood just behind her shoulder. He nodded once, giving her a tender smile, and she knew that despite this offer of asylum, they would proceed with their own plan.

"Sebastian, thank you so much for arranging this for us. We're so grateful to you, and to the King and Queen, to all of you, for your help and support," she began, looking around the room.

Sebastian gave her a searching look, eyes narrowing. "But . . .?"

"But, we've decided . . ." she said, reaching up for Cullen's hand where it sat on her shoulder, "to disappear. Alone." The room fell into silence again as everyone seemed shocked by this.

"Despite the considerable protections the King of Ferelden can offer," she continued, "we'll never truly be safe out in the open. You said so yourself, Sebastian. I doubt the Seekers will stop looking for us, and we're too easily found if we're in Denerim. Instead we disappear, and no one will know where to find us."

"Disappear?" Isabela said. "You mean, even from us, don't you?"

Hawke took a deep breath. "We think that the less you all know of our whereabouts, the better. Now that we know what Seekers are capable of, we can't risk putting any more of you in danger."

Her eyes lingered for a moment on Aveline. Aveline had later admitted to her that part of the reason she had resigned as Guard-Captain was because of her continuing struggle with her memory. Even with what Merrill had been able to learn from the Seeker's amulet, the healing still hadn't been a complete success. Aveline and Donnic had decided to take it slow for a while and would be heading back to Ferelden, along with Merrill, who would continue to try to do what she could.

"What, Hawke? You think we can't keep a secret?" Varric asked.

"I—" Hawke had to stop, unable to speak around the lump in her throat as she too vividly recalled her own experiences with the Seeker.

Cullen smoothly stepped in. "We don't want anyone to have to take that risk for us. You've all already done so much. It's time we stop endangering anyone else."

"Where will you go?" Sebastian asked at last.

"We have some thoughts on that . . . that we won't share," Hawke said. "But as a decoy, I was thinking that you take ship anyway, like we'd been discussing. Isabela, you and Fenris take Bodahn and Sandal to Orlais, and Sebastian, you go to Denerim as you'd planned, taking Aveline, Donnic and Merrill, while we leave from here on foot, under cover of darkness. Hopefully that will be enough to put anyone off our trail for a time. After that, we'll just have to be clever." She smiled up at Cullen, who squeezed her hand where he still held it at her shoulder.

"Hawke, are you sure it is wise to go alone?" Fenris asked, eyes narrowed in concern.

"To be honest, I think we'll have more success getting away with fewer people. And, we won't be alone for too much longer." She laughed, pressing her hand to her stomach where she thankfully wasn't showing yet. "So, we'll need to move swiftly."

"So this is goodbye, then?" Merrill said sadly.

"Only for a time. We'll always be able to find each of you, and we will, once things become safer. You can't get rid of us that easily," Hawke said with a smile.

Varric chuckled. "Daisy, don't worry. There's no way Hawke's story would end yet. Just you wait . . ."

ooXXoo

The morning seemed to come too quickly, as Hawke and Cullen tiredly gathered their meager belongings and prepared to slip away before the sun rose. As she closed her pack, the slender gold band on her finger winked at her in the candlelight, making her smile.

Their last act before becoming nameless fugitives had been to go to the small village Chantry the night before and get married. While not the extravagant fairytale wedding her mother had always imagined for her, it was all the more precious for its simplicity and for being witnessed only by those who were most dear to them, during their last moments together as a group. They had observed the occasion with only a crown of daisies Merrill had woven for Hawke, and of course, their rings, which had survived their adventures safely tucked inside her locket. She knew she would always cherish the look on Cullen's face as the Reverend Mother gave the final blessings on their union, and they had officially slipped the rings on at last.

Afterward, they all had returned to the inn and said their final goodbyes. Most were short, since it felt like everything had been said.

Varric was going to return to Kirkwall. To keep an eye on the situation, he had said.

"Honestly, Hawke, no offense, but the machinations of the Chantry and the politicians rarely affect the daily lives of the citizens in Lowtown anyway. Life will go on. And profitably.

"Erm, speaking of which, here," he said, handing her a weighty sack that clinked with coins.

"What is this?"

"The Seekers will probably confiscate your holdings, and I don't want you to be destitute. It's what I could get my hands on with short notice."

"Varric, I can't take your money!"

He turned an odd shade of red, making her realize that she'd never actually seen a dwarf blush before. "It's not really mine. It's yours. I . . . didn't quite give you your fair share after the Deep Roads. Think of this as making up for it, with interest."

Hawke laughed, not caring a fig since her share already had been more than she could have spent in a lifetime. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, which made him blush even more. "If it makes you feel better. Thank you."

"Well, you've always been hopeless with money, so this should tide you over 'til Lover Boy gets you two on your feet," he said gruffly.

"Varric," she started with emotion, "I don't know how to—"

"Then don't. We'll see each other again. Count on it." He nodded and then strolled off.

She had tried to apologize again to Aveline for everything but had been firmly told to sod off.

"Hawke, we've been needing a change for some time," Aveline had insisted. "I'm looking at this as our chance to set down some roots for once. I've been a soldier for so long, maybe it's my time to just be a woman. And a wife."

Hawke had further embarrassed Aveline with a big hug, which the warrior had actually returned for a brief moment. Aveline had then turned away quickly, hurrying to her room with Donnic while a muffled sniff drifted back to Hawke.

Hawke's goodbyes with Isabela and Fenris had been short, neither of them being partial to emotional farewells. The pirate actually had business in Orlais from her fledgling trade enterprise. Fenris had convinced her to try some legitimate work on the side and apparently it was becoming quite profitable. She had assured Hawke that it was no trouble to take the dwarves with her, making a crack about how that was the least exotic cargo she'd ever carried.

Sending Bodahn to Orlais, where he'd recently talked of going, was the only thing Hawke could really do for him after his years of dedication and service. Since her recommendation no longer meant much, Sebastian had provided him a letter of reference which she hoped would open any door they might need.

It bothered her that she hadn't actually gotten to say a true goodbye to Sebastian. When she had finally located him, she had been intrigued to see him speaking to Cullen. She hadn't been close enough to hear what they were saying, but after a few minutes they had parted with a firm clasp of hands. Sebastian had looked at her from across the room for a moment, nodded his head, and then returned to his ship. Sadly, she supposed they'd already said their goodbyes. With a silent look of understanding, Cullen had put an arm around her shoulders and guided her to their room for a few hours of sleep.

As they tiptoed out of the inn in the pre-dawn darkness, she felt Cullen's hand creep into hers. She locked her fingers in his, and when she looked up, he gave her a boyish grin. She felt her heart flutter with happiness. The curious feeling crept over her that everything was as it should be, and at once she knew that they had made the right decision.

With their few belongings on their backs and the dog at their side, they walked into the sunlight just breaking over the distant hills, hand in hand, toward a new beginning.