SURPRISE!

It has been forever. As in, months. And I am sorry that I am keeping over a thousand people (still getting used to that number) in suspense, but my muse has been focused elsewhere for a very long time. It will likely remain that way indefinitely, but I scraped it together for a bit to put out this chapter. Thank you to everyone who is still favoriting/following despite the time since the last update—you guys are surprisingly motivating.

Part 26

It was bad enough that Zangetsu hadn't been able to properly rest and recover for three days now. But this? This was beyond his limits.

"You're not getting out of this," Ichigo told him flatly.

"And just why are ya so desperate t' have me in your family meeting? Ya can sort this out on your own."

"I can. And I will. But you are proof, and Karin and Yuzu saw you already. If you're not there, they'll notice."

"No," Zangetsu said. "No, I'm not gonna do this."

Ichigo scowled. He had bags under his eyes from several nights of interrupted sleep; Hell had relinquished its grip only on Ichigo's conscious mind. At night, Ichigo tossed and turned and screamed until his brain finally scared itself awake. "Look, I get that you're trying to make me independent or whatever—"

"Hey, you noticed."

"But this isn't the time to make a big thing out of it."

Zangetsu crossed his arms. "If not now, then when?"

"I don't know, how about when my family hasn't just been nearly torn apart by dead people from Hell."

A valid point, but Zangetsu wasn't going to budge on this. "I'm your Zanpakutō spirit, King, not some stupid problem solver here to talk all of your issues outta existence. I already had that talk with Dad, I ain't doin' it with the whole family. That's your territory."

"Zangetsu—"

"I will be happy t' answer any questions you direct my way. Otherwise, it's up t' you."

Ichigo looked to be caught somewhere between wanting to punch Zangetsu and wanting to convince him without violence. Zangetsu uncrossed his arms and ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

"Okay, I get it, ya want help. And I've almost always been there t' help ya. But I can't do it now, not this time, and probably not ever again like I've done. I'm counsel, not king. Ya don't treat the Old Man this way, and at my core I'm the same as him: a part of you. A part that ain't in charge. Understand? I'm not tryin' t' hurt you. Just givin' you space t' learn. This is your world, your life, and I am willing to help find ways to solve problems I've caused. But it's up to you to do the actual solving."

Ichigo took a long time to answer. "So you aren't willing to be materialized."

"Right."

"But you'll give advice. And pay attention to the conversation."

"'Course. I ain't gonna leave you out to dry."

"Yeah, because that's the feeling I've been getting."

"No need to look at me like that."

"At this point, Zangetsu, there is always a need. And don't respond to that."

Zangetsu stuck out his tongue.

Ichigo handled himself well during the talk. Despite the stress and anxiety churning on the horizon, Ichigo's inner world remained blessedly free of rain, at least for the time being. Between offering snide comments and actual advice to Ichigo, Zangetsu messed around with his Quincy half, absently throwing out ideas for when they could introduce Ichigo to the idea that he was the sum of four parts: human, Shinigami, Hollow, and Quincy.

"I mean, he can't kill both of us at once," Zangetsu said. "You take the hit, and I'll run."

"Given past circumstances, I believe he will be inclined to strike you first."

"Okay, rude."

"But correct."

"Shut up. We could do it during his next school break."

"And ruin his vacation?"

"Better than makin' 'im lose focus on his studies, right? 'Sides, he'll be better equipped to handle it then. And we can bring Dad in on it too. Dude's kinda important in Ichigo's life, after all."

The Old Man hummed for a moment. "And what would we do afterwards? We should have a better plan than improvisation. That did not go well after the Hollowfication incident."

"'Incident'?" Zangetsu repeated incredulously. "It wasn't that bad!"

"Yes," the Old Man said rather firmly, "it was."

There was no arguing with him when he spoke in that tone. Zangetsu rolled his eyes. "All right, all right. Fine. But what are we supposed to do? Can't exactly give him a therapy session in here, unless you got an education when I wasn't lookin'."

Zangetsu held up a hand before the Old Man could respond. Ichigo was asking him to clarify how Zangetsu affected his powers. "You're still Shinigami, but the more Shinigami power you use, the more of my Hollow side you draw upon. That's why your Reiatsu turns black and red i—" in bankai. Which you don't know yet. "Well. Cosmetics aside, I just give your abilities a Hollow tint. After all the crap we've been through, you're gettin' pretty good at controlling it. We're still working on strictly Hollow powers, though."

And Ichigo's attention was directed outside once more.

"We may not be therapists," the Old Man said, "but we can point Ichigo in the direction of someone who is better equipped—or have this conversation there in the first place."

Zangetsu snorted. The Old Man was missing a key point. "Who do we know that's better equipped than us?"

The Old Man tilted his head to acknowledge that flaw, but he didn't look happy about it. "So we do not know one singular person. Perhaps we can arrange to do it in a group, and should Ichigo choose to share to get support, he may."

Zangetsu rolled that idea around in his head. It was logical, though Ichigo would have to be very close to this group. They would already have to know some of his darkest secrets, would have to have helped him in his battles and—

"The Visored," Zangetsu said. He looked up from where he'd cast his gaze down to his feet and saw the Old Man nodding. "Yeah, they'll work. I can get in contact with Shinji and see if he's up to a group therapy session. Yes, I know that's not the right word. No, I don't care."

Ichigo was trying to get Zangetsu's attention again. Zangetsu gave it to him—but not before he saw the Old Man roll his eyes.

They were back in Ichigo's room. The family chat had clearly wrung Ichigo out; he was face-down on his bed, seemingly trying to become one with the mattress. Zangetsu had materialized and taken up his usual spot on Ichigo's spinning chair, his feet propped up on the desk in a position that Ichigo usually discouraged. Because of the talk that now had Ichigo orbiting semiconsciousness, Zangetsu didn't have to worry about being spotted by the rest of the Kurosakis anymore—in theory. Even with that knowledge he was wary of being so casual. Besides, the rest of the world was still largely ignorant of Zangetsu, so it would pay to keep being careful. In that vein, Zangetsu had decided to start checking the barriers around the house daily. They kept any of his Hollow energy from leaking out to where the Gotei Thirteen could detect it.

So far, the barriers were holding strong, despite being many years old. Zangetsu had set up other barriers for Ichigo's benefit as soon as he'd been able, and despite Isshin's evident confusion during their first appearances (before Ichigo had even had a real grasp of the Shinigami world), the barriers had remained.

"Zangetsu," Ichigo groaned after a while, "what do you want to talk about?"

Zangetsu stopped spinning his chair back and forth. The creaking sound it made was very irritating. "What makes you think I want t' say something?"

"You're materialized." Ichigo rolled over onto his back. "And you're fidgeting with my stuff."

Somewhat affronted, Zangetsu put down the three-dimensional puzzle he'd been fiddling with. "I am not." Ichigo just stared at him. "Okay, I was. Was." Ichigo rolled his eyes. Brat. "Look, what I want t' talk about is a little serious, so I don't want to do it if you're not feelin' up to it. It can wait."

Ichigo was quiet for a little while. Then he sighed and sat up, swinging his legs over the side of his bed to rest his feet on the floor. "You want to talk about Hell. What happened to Yuzu and Karin."

"Yeah."

"Fine." Ichigo's tight-lipped smile wasn't really a smile at all. "But I want to talk about Hell too—how you reacted to it. And I want to do that first."

Oh. Zangetsu shifted. "I handled it."

"Zangetsu. Don't lie to me."

"When you give an order like that," Zangetsu muttered under his breath. "It sucked, okay? A hundred thousand things in my head all trying to get out when I thought I'd had 'em locked away for good. All the shit Hollows are supposed to be, 'cept magnified." He shuddered at the memory. "Bad. Very bad." Almost as bad as the War, just in a different sense; this was his pain, not Ichigo's. But he'd stopped it from reaching Ichigo. He'd done his job. He'd protected the King.

"Zangetsu," Ichigo said, and why was he speaking so softly, "I'm not expecting you to be fine after that."

"Of course I'm fine," Zangetsu snapped. He wasn't the one that had—

"You don't need to compare your problems to mine," Ichigo said. "We're the same whole, Zangetsu. My problems don't—they don't invalidate yours. So if you've got a problem, please tell me." He leaned forward. "Please."

"You don't need to say please."

"As long as you actually answer."

"Is that a request or an order?"

"Whatever you want it to be."

"King."

"Zangetsu."

The stare-down wasn't really a stare-down. Neither of them was really pushing for anything; Zangetsu was just trying to buy time and parse out exactly what it was that Ichigo wanted him to say. The problem was, that ideal answer wasn't immediately obvious. It was a question with no real response. If Zangetsu said there were no problems, Ichigo would know he was lying. Or the Old Man would tell Ichigo the truth, and then Zangetsu would be really screwed.

With a frustrating kind of realization, Zangetsu realized what Ichigo was doing: it was the exact same kind of thing he did during the War in the scant moments of free time they'd snatched between battles. Ichigo had always been paying attention without seeming to be, and every time he managed to trip Zangetsu up by boxing him into a corner with questions before Zangetsu realized what he was doing.

Tricky bastard.

Zangetsu grabbed the puzzle and began messing with it again just to give an outlet for the nervous energy making his muscles twitch. "Okay, fine. I'm not doin' so well." There was the weird tattoo markings, the dark thoughts he hadn't been able to lock away like he had originally after Hell shook them loose the first time, the chaotic energy lurking in Ichigo's Inner World that should not have been there at all, the hundred and one plans he had to keep juggling in his mind. "I'm stressed, I'm tired, and the farther along we get the harder it is for me to anticipate stuff. I don't know exactly what I've changed or how it really affects you, and—" he stopped.

"And what?"

The puzzle pieces clicked against each other.

"Zangetsu?"

Zangetsu blew out a breath and tipped his head back. This was a thought that had been rolling around his head for a while, not articulated but unsettling all the same. He needed a minute to piece together the parts that had remained stubbornly separate. After Hell, though—for some reason, now he could do it. Now he could look at what he was doing, look at himself, and see—

"I don't know what I am t' you, King," Zangetsu said. He very deliberately avoided looking at Ichigo. "Originally, I went from enemy to untrustworthy ally to partner. 'N now I'm...I dunno. I was a guardian, kind of. Teacher. Instructor, whatever. Guide. Partner, in theory. But I can't pin it down. I'm not in a specific place and it's. Strange. I'm a spirit created with a purpose, and that purpose has changed so much that I'm not sure what it is anymore."

Ichigo didn't move for a while. "Toss me the puzzle," he eventually said. Zangetsu complied, and Ichigo began to solve it. Now he was the one avoiding looking at Zangetsu. "I know that what you're describing—it's not a simple problem." Click. "Not something that can be solved by—well, the power of friendship." Click. "But." Click. "No matter what you've been to me—this time around, anyway—you've been a friend. Despite fuck ups and bad decisions and lies, you've been trying to help. So I figure—" click—"if you can help me without knowing exactly what you're doing, I can do the same." Click. "Neither of us may know what we're doing, but we can at least do it together. Sound good? You help me keep living, I'll help you find a place where you fit."

He tossed Zangetsu the completed puzzle, now in two separate pieces. Zangetsu caught it on reflex, his mind sticking on Ichigo's words. That question—what am I to you—had an answer that simple? Just, we'll figure it out? Well, not that simple. It wasn't them skipping off into the sunset, but it wasn't a bottle of poison and a dagger either. And Ichigo's response was—

It was something Zangetsu had never really paused to consider. Ichigo valued him—not just as a teacher or guide or weapon, but as a part of himself. And that was a level of acceptance Zangetsu had never even considered; there was no magical milestone that signaled when Ichigo passed another test; he just did.

Zangetsu had a lot to think about. But he could save it for later.

"Sounds good," Zangetsu said. He turned the small metal parts over in his palms, watching the worn metal reflect the light coming from the window. "But if we're going to be in this—together, more aware than before, more committed—then you need to tell me how your head is. I was in Hell too, King. And we're different parts, sure, but we're of the same whole. So you got affected, and I—I want to know that you're good. Or if you're not, so I can get you there."

Ichigo picked at his nails, a habit Zangetsu hadn't seen in years. "I'm better than I was," he admitted. "And the more time passes, the better I get. I think—something about Hell. The atmosphere. Stuck in my head. And it wouldn't go away."

The reason for Zangetsu's inability to fully relax, then. The lingering thoughts he couldn't erase still reached Ichigo, even if then they were only echoes.

"But," Ichigo continued, "I can handle it. I will handle it," he repeated with more force. "Karin and Yuzu agreed to the training—and, well, you're probably not going to be surprised, but they're pretty excited about it. Especially Karin. It was like introducing her to soccer all over again." The amount of brotherly pride in Ichigo's voice made Zangetsu's chest ache. "So I'm not—not where I was before, no, but I can get there. And I trust you and the Old Man to help me."

"Huh," was all Zangetsu could say. Ichigo smiled a bit.

"There's something we're both overlooking, though."

Zangetsu raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Uryū, Chad, and Orihime saw me hollowfy in Hell. They know."

Zangetsu's memories of the time immediately after leaving Hell were sketchy at best. "Did you talk to 'em?"

"Not really. I, um. Was preoccupied."

Fretting over Yuzu. Reasonable, and acceptable given what had happened to her. "So what are you gonna do?"

Ichigo bit his lip. "I was thinking I could just...bring them over here tomorrow and explain. With my family as backup, instead of just my word."

"In case they think you're crazy."

"Um. Yeah. Pretty much. You are a Hollow in my head."

Well, when he said it like that.

"Fair point. What do you want me t' do?"

"I can handle most of it," Ichigo mused. "Maybe bring you out as proof—they'll probably ask questions. And if there's anything you don't want to answer, we can just go to Kisuke's. I'm sure he can at least confuse them until they forget the question if he doesn't want to answer it."

Zangetsu had memories of the shopkeeper trying to do just that to him. "Yeah, that'll work."

Ichigo nodded and fell back down onto his bed. Zangetsu could feel him slipping into sleep within a minute and figured there was no point in him staying materialized. So he left the puzzle, once again whole, on the desk. Then he disappeared.

A/N Much to everyone's surprise, Ichigo and Zangetsu talk some things out without violence or shouting. And it looks as though Ichigo is starting to figure out how to take command (Zangetsu is so proud).

Reviews:

Harbinger of Kaos: The Old Man (Ichigo's) is not an ally of the Quincy. But Zangetsu is aware of all the shadow-stuff going on, which is why Ichigo is spending minimal time in Soul Society.

Enjali: The Old Man was a part of Ywach, but he is not Ywach. His knowledge is mostly based on Quincy techniques, not Ywach's memories of events.

Brytte Mystere: Thank you! I always try to keep their interactions realistic without being OOC.

Shini Guest Mi: For the Quincy bit, I addressed that with Kaos. As for Tatsuki, I have plans.

sanjiyanunkara: Keep in mind that this is a Zangetsu that is far separated from canon. If you still disagree, that's perfectly fine.

general zargon: Zangetsu and the head captain clashing will never cease to entertain me.

grandshadowseal: I'm ignoring that superhero stuff. Too much to keep track of.

Boyy2k: Pal, how do you think I write conversations?

ben 10.000: That is for me to know and you to find out.

Zivyx: Some of 'em.

TheNextExorcist: Thank you!

Verteller: Interesting. Honestly, I am winging 99% of this story. Almost all of the "character development moments" are spontaneous.

DragonsFlame117: Thank you!

RosesInTheShade: You should see my response to Verteller.

Rae: :)))))

CrazyClouds: Honestly, anyone who could kidnap Zangetsu would be a much bigger threat than Zangetsu himself.

xoxo: OH MY GOD YOU REVIEWED. Sorry. Couldn't resist.

Andrey258: Eh.

Eternal Love's Eclipse: See my response to Verteller.

Guest: I do know all that.

Donni: You're welcome!

There are so many reviews. If I didn't response to yours, know that I still read and appreciated the compliments/comments.

The next chapter will probably take just as long as this one. My schedule is hectic—but on the bright side, I have nearly finished writing my novel, and that should increase my writing time for fanfiction.

-RoR

Please review.