A/N. So I'm in love with this story because Logan is just so cute and James is so sad and Kendall and Carlos are trying to help. I don't own anything.
"James?" Kendall asked softly. "How is he?"
James nodded to Logan who was still sound asleep in his arms. "He's still burning up, but he's sleeping so. . ."
Kendall nodded in understanding. "Are you hungry? Dinner is ready. We all ate so Carlos and I can watch him while you take a break."
He hadn't eaten since breakfast that morning and it was now past six in the evening. But James' worry for Logan made his hunger non-existent and he shook his head. "No thanks," He whispered. "I'm really not that hungry. Besides, I don't want to take a chance of him waking up. He needs to rest. I'll be okay for now."
Carlos came in then and sat down on the floor. "Do you mind if we keep you company then?" He asked hopefully, not wanting James to feel lonely.
James smiled and nodded. "Sounds good to me. Kendall, can you get the thermometer for me? It's right over there on the nightstand. I want to check his temperature real quick." He nodded his thanks and slid the thermometer in Logan's mouth, relieved when he didn't stir. "Do you guys trust me with him?" He asked as they waited for the quiet beep.
Without hesitation, both Kendall and Carlos gave firm nods. "Of course we do, James." Kendall assured him. "No one is perfect but only cowards run away when they make mistakes. You kept fighting to stay with us even though we know it wasn't easy on your relationship with your parents. You're taking counseling because you're not afraid to admit that you need help and. . ." He trailed off and smiled at Logan who was as close to James as possible, a peaceful look on his feverish face. "You're so incredible with him."
"Then why," James asked, his eyes on Logan. "Then why can't I do anything right anymore? It's my fault he ended up like this in the first place and then there was that whole mess when he cut himself-" He broke off and traced the long, jagged scar on Logan's arm, swallowing hard. "Then today I lost him and now he's sick. Maybe he's better off without."
"No way," Carlos said, swinging his head back and forth. "It would destroy him, James. I t would destroy all of us if you left."
"The cutting thing is mostly my fault." Kendall said, his eyes downcast. "But remember what Carlos said when that happened? We're not helping Logan by blaming ourselves and throwing pity parties over everything that has happened to us. For Logan's sake, we need to move on. Today was really scary but we all saw how crowded it was. I told you earlier that it could have happened to anyone. And as for him getting sick, that's not your fault at all, James. Besides," He added, a smile lightening his heavy features. "Look at you now."
As Kendall spoke, the thermometer beeped and James quickly withdrew it and stared at the numbers. "It's higher now," He said nervously. "102 even." He looked at Kendall pleadingly. "Get your mom."
Kendall left right away leaving James and Carlos with Logan. James forced himself to look away from the thermometer since it was scaring him. "Is all Kendall said true?" He asked as they waited.
"Every single word." Carlos promised. He started to say more but soon Mrs. Knight walked in with Kendall and Katie right behind her.
Mrs. Knight had a phone held close to her ear and was alternating between talking and listening to what sounded like a doctor. "Let me see," She said, pulling the phone away. "Logan? Sweetie, wake up."
Logan groaned and shifted away from the gentle hand on his shoulder. "Go 'way," He said, swatting weakly in the air. "I wanna sleep more 'cause 'm really tired."
"Logie," James whispered. "Wake up buddy. We want to make sure you're okay."
At the sound of James' voice, Logan unwillingly opened his eyes to narrow slits. "I'm 'kay," He said, yawning. "Just sick 'n tired."
"He's perfectly responsive," Mrs. Knight spoke into the phone. "Should we bring him in?" She smiled reassuringly at the boys while they waited nervously. "Okay, thank you very much. Bye."
"Well?" Kendall demanded as soon as his mother hung up the phone. "What did they say?"
"If it gets any higher or if we have trouble waking him up and responding to us. Or if he complains of something bothering him. But for now, they said to just let him try and sleep it away."
"But what if he just keeps getting worse?" James asked, annoyed with the doctors' lack of interest in Logan's illness. Granted, the virus had been going around and it probably wasn't serious, but he was afraid to think that simply waiting would make anything better.
Before anyone else could speak, Logan opened his eyes a little more. "You worry too much, Jamie." He said yawning yet again. Remember The Lion King? Hakuna Matata. It means no worries. You should worry a lot less than you do, else you're gonna end up with gray hair."
"I'm working on it, Logan." James sighed and gave Logan a small smile. "It just might take a little time, that's all. How does that sound?" But Logan didn't answer him because he had already fallen back asleep. He sighed again, the smile falling from his face as he was once again consumed with worry for his friend. "When should we check his temperature again?" He asked Mrs. Knight.
"Oh, I think we can give him so time, James. At least an hour. He'll be fine, I'm sure." Mrs. Knight smiled gently. Honestly, that this point in time she was more worried for James than she was for Logan. "He has his best friends looking out for him and I can't think of three people more competent right now." She motioned to Katie and the two of them left the room quietly.
James sighed again and leaned back in the bed, holding Logan close. "Thanks, guys." He said quietly. "I don't know what I'd do without you. I. . . I honestly don't think I could-" He stopped when a sudden sob shook his body. "I don't think I'd be alive without you."
Fear shot through Kendall's body and he and Carlos were at James' side in an instant. "James," Kendall's voice shook. "What are you talking about?"
"I probably would have killed myself." James admitted in a rush, tears flowing silently down his pale face. "Because sometimes I don't think I deserve to live. I destroyed Logan's life and I almost killed him and now-"
"Of course you deserve to live," Carlos said, his heart pounding. "We've been trying to tell you and I'm sure Logan has too, but you really are a wonderful person. Just hang in there, okay? Don't-" He choked and stopped. "Don't do anything, James, please. We love you and we need you."
"I don't think anyone needs me and I don't see how you can love me." James bent his head, ashamed of his tears and his cowardice. In his sleep, Logan shifted and draped an arm over James' chest, burying his head under James' chin and on his shoulder.
"How can you doubt that?" Kendall asked James, smiling despite the terror that he still felt. "James, you're our best friend. We can't lost you, okay?" Careful not to disturb Logan, he wrapped both arms around James, trying to take deep and steady breaths. "We love you, bro."
Carlos gently nudged Kendall aside and nearly strangled James with a hug. Before he could stop himself he was sobbing quietly into his friend's shoulder, trembling with fear and grief. "You have to believe us, Jay. Please. I don't want you to die. None of us do."
"I-I'm sorry," James stammered, shocked by their reactions and upset that he had made both of them cry. But now he had no choice but to believe their words. He looked over at Kendall who was trying to comfort Carlos and then he glanced down at Logan, still burning with fever but looking more comfortable. "I don't want to die either," He said softly, realizing how stupid that idea had been in the first place. As horrible as it was to have Logan so hurt the way he was, he wouldn't have wanted to miss it for anything.
"Are you okay now?" Kendall asked, his voice still shaking.
James nodded. "Better than I have been in such a long time." He said honestly. "You guys are the best friends I could ever hope for and I-I love you all too."
A hesitant smile crossed Carlos' face. "Good," He said. "I'm glad you know that. We're here if you need us, James. Just keep being the amazing person that you are with Logan."
"Am I really?" James asked with a childlike hope that was heartbreaking to see.
"Of course you are," Kendall said. "I mean, look at you right now with him, James. Do you have any idea how long you've been here just. . . holding him like that? It's been hours and you haven't moved. And I don't think you're about to, not until he gets better anyway." Kendall blinked back tears. "I mean, the way you look at him, James, when you're not sad I mean, it's like he's your whole world and no one else matters."
"You guys matter," James said, trying to make Kendall feel better. "You guys matter just as much as Logan."
"We know," Kendall nodded. "But it's different with Logan. I was thinking about it a while ago. He's my little brother to me and I'll do whatever it takes to protect him. Carlos is the steady rock that he needs. James, you. . . you're like a father to him with the way you watch out for him. It's amazing to see. You're amazing and don't believe anything else, okay?"
James couldn't speak so he simply nodded and bent his head, hiding his tears as he pretended to be absorbed in Logan. "I-I don't know what to say, Kendall." He finally whispered, stroking Logan's warm forehead.
"You don't need to say anything." Kendall told him. "Just believe us, okay?" He placed a hand on James' shoulder and gave it a quick squeeze before standing up. "Carlos, do you want to get your stuff and sleep in here tonight? James isn't going anywhere."
Carlos nodded and sprang up from the bed and hurried off to the room he and James had been sharing, returning in a minute with his pillow. Without waiting for Kendall to say anything else, he laid down next to him on his bed, his eyes on James and Logan the entire time. "Night, guys." He said sleepily.
"Night, buddy." Kendall replied. "Jay, try to get some sleep okay? We're all here if Logan needs us. You don't need to be afraid."
James nodded but the thought of sleeping never crossed his mind. He wasn't afraid anymore but he just had to make sure that Logan would be okay. Even when Carlos and Kendall dropped off to sleep, James stayed awake, checking Logan's temperature every hour and breathing a sigh of relief every time it remained the same or went slightly lower. Finally, at 3:30 in the morning when Logan's fever broke completely, James closed his eyes and relaxed. For once it was easy because all he had to do was think of what his friends had told him. He was at peace.
"Kenny. Carlos."
Kendall sat up at the same time as Carlos did and the two boys just missed knocking heads. "What is it, Logie?" Kendall asked, taking note that James was at last fast asleep. "Hey, you look a lot better." He crossed the room and felt Logan's forehead, relieved when the skin was cool to the touch. "How do you feel?"
Instead of answering him, Logan lifted his head and pointed to James. "I was right," He said, a hint of sadness in his voice.
"What were you right about?" Carlos asked in confusion.
"Jamie," Logan took Kendall's hand and laid it on James' forehead. "He's sick now."
"Oh, James." Kendall sighed, taking in the flushed, sweaty skin and the way James was shaking. "Don't worry, Logan. We'll take care of him just like he took care of you."
"Good," Logan said happily. "That means he'll get better real soon."
"Yup," Carlos said rising to his feet to get Kendall's mom. "We'll take good care of James."
A/N. K, I'm tried and sad. I shall go dream of my new story idea, okay? Okay. Please enjoy the double update I so lovingly gave you. Carpe Diem!