A/N: No beta this chapter. can't find Casere. Hope everything is all right, and that her health has improved. So now u all are stuck with my bad grammar and me on cold meds. actually, it makes me feel a bit numbed, but quite nice. On the bright side, I've been able to stop smoking for the second day due to the violent, tiring coughs. Yaaay. hmmm...
In response to both of Gemini's reviews. Not sure what else to say, but if all my versions of Natsuki gave you such pain, you should stop reading all of my stories. Yeah...
Personal rant. I tried to keep chapter short...but this one is much longer than i thought..
CHAPTER 26: Time
Underneath her leather jacket, Natsuki was in a white tank top, fitted with a pair of black jeans. She was equipped with a shoulder holster, a belt holster and two ankle holsters, fully loaded with UV bullets. With her current condition, she wasn't going anywhere without her favorite weapons. She knew how to use them, and she had always been the best to execute them. Deadly aim was the only performance she was gifted with.
She strode through the dim hallway down to the infirmary. She stopped by the door, contented to see that her mother was still resting peacefully. She studied the woman, observing her painfully pale skin and black hair. Her mother was slightly taller than her, almost Shizuru's height, and was of a thicker built. Their raven hair was probably the only thing she inherited from her since she had the green eyes from her father. For a moment, she was lost in the sight of the stranger, who had abruptly appeared in her life with such a great importance to disturb her world. Looking at her mother now, she wasn't sure if it was a heaven's gift or a curse.
But, who would have refused a second chance at anything? Her life had traveled along the path of vengeance, and seeing her mother alive again caused such a deep uncertainty in her heart. How her life would have been, if only she knew? What would her father do now if he was still here? But, it only came to the same destination in the end. Her father was murdered in place of her mother. Everything was going round and again, and she didn't know how to stop this crazy world from turning.
At Natsuki's sigh, Nao, who was sitting on the chair next to the bed, jolted upright and turned to look at her.
Natsuki immediately casted her gaze down on the floor, her fingers fidgeted by her sides. "I… I haven't said this, but thanks for watching over my mother."
Nao's shoulders seemed to loosen a bit. She sank down in her chair and shrugged. "No problem. Have you seen Shizuru around?"
In an instant, Natsuki blushed, and it earned her an inquisitive glance from the redhead's narrowed eyes. "S—she—err—she's resting. She's just tired."
Nao stared at her for a long moment before rolling her eyes. She swung her arms across her chest, directing her gaze back at Saeko. "Yeah, sure, she is."
Natsuki bit her bottom lip, willing the shade of her face back to normal, but failed miserably. Was it that obvious to Nao? Or, was she overthinking it? "S—she hasn't slept much, and it's getting her, that's all. I'm pretty sure that she'll get up in an hour or something." She gestured towards an intercom mounted by the wall next to the door. "You can reach us in case something happens. It'll go through everyone's walkie-talkie. We'll hear you—"
"I know what that thing does. We had them at First District Library," Nao stated.
For some reason, the redhead's stern response aggravated Natsuki. It only confirmed her suspicion about the two vampires. Before her thoughts would delve deeper into more doubts and distrust, Natsuki straightened up. "Well, then. Thanks for being here." With that, she spun on her heels and left.
It was only when Natsuki stepped out of the lair that she reckoned the hours that had slipped by. She took a look at her watch and puffed. It was half past five, and the sun was slowly descending towards the horizontal line. Orange glow filled the whole area, illuminating the white mansion with its soft hues, warming the thick, green forest around them. Emerald eyes narrowed. She trudged down the road leading out of the mansion.
A kilometer down the path, Natsuki spotted the first roadblock ahead. There was a group of thirty Lycans gathering around. Each of them was carrying rifles, chatting with one another. She would have to check on two more roadblocks down the path southward. The plan was to try and stop Uriahn vampires, but she hadn't the most optimistic view of it. Uriahn vampires were centuries old, and they were in great number. Ruthless and secretive, they were. The young, tired Lycans who had still remained would be no match to them. They had a better chance to stay alive if they fled the lair. But, here they were, putting up their last fight to death. Perhaps, it was better to die at home.
Walking up to them, Natsuki greeted them with a nod.
"Kuga-san!"
"Good evening, Master Kuga!"
The Lycans bowed to her.
Natsuki stiffened, blushing at such formal greeting. As much as things were going smoother than she had expected, she still wasn't used to such a privileged treatment from her peers. Only a few months ago, they were cold towards her. They were mere strangers at best.
"A—at ease, people. In fact, I'd rather that you refer to me by my first name," Natsuki said.
"Right. Care to tell us where you have been, Natsuki?" A voice sneered.
Natsuki turned to see Haruka stalking towards her. The blonde leisurely hung both her arms over the black, slick, pyro rifle resting across her shoulders. Erstin must have already assigned the weapons to the troops.
Haruka was in a fitted, khaki shirt and a pair of worn, tight jeans, which showed her athletic curves. She had changed from attires from this morning, having mudded herself from carrying Saeko back to the lair all by herself. Natsuki had offered to help, but Haruka insisted that human strength wasn't needed. And, she definitely would not accept any kind of aids from Shizuru either.
Upon seeing Haruka approaching Natsuki, the crowd discreetly dispersed, although they still kept their curious glances on them.
With confident strides, Haruka walked up to her, disgust written on her face. "I can't believe you've lowered yourself to this. Kuga Natsuki, who loathed vampires more than anything in the world. Yeah, that was the only good thing about you, and now it's gone. Everyone knows what you were doing with that bloodsucker. It's amazing that you still have to the nerves to stand among us."
Natsuki glowered at the blonde, her jaw clamped shut. In due course, her affair with Shizuru would be revealed to the lair. Even though she hadn't expected the news to leak and spread this fast, she wasn't going to take it back. She hadn't planned to keep it secret either. Looking away, she ran her hair through her dark, silky hair. "It's my personal life. It's none of your business," she droned. She couldn't help but feel the slight heat on her cheeks. She was certain that it had sprung purely from anger, not embarrassment.
Haruka wouldn't give up. She walked up to Natsuki, circling around, hissing in her face. "You're one of them now? Why did you even come back at all? While we're facing annihilation, you were off, fucking some vampire you barely knew!"
Natsuki pushed Haruka with one hard shove. She wasn't sure if it was Haruka's words or her own action that immediately earned bewildered stares from the rest of the Lycans there. It took all of her strength not to deliver another attack at Haruka. "I don't need anybody's permission to love someone. I'm here to defend my father's memories. I don't owe you anything."
"Now, you admit that you hold that vampire's life over our lair!" Haruka clenched her fists.
Running towards the roadblock, Chie hurried to her master's side. Breathless, she looked back and forth between Natsuki and Haruka. The bodyguard must have just heard from the others of Natsuki's presence here. "Na—Natsuki-san…! W—we should go inside—"
Natsuki brushed Chie's hand off her arm, her gaze locked on Haruka. "I'm not gonna wait until my last breath to realize what I truly want, Suzushiro. Even with Yukino gone, you still haven't learned—" But, she was suddenly cut off by a swift leap from Haruka, plunging her down to the ground.
"Suzushiro…! No…! Stop it! Don't hurt her!" Chie tried to pull Haruka off Natsuki.
The other Lycans quickly jumped in to help, but they were shoved away by powerful swings of Haruka's arms. Again, they tried and succeeded, dragging the blonde away from the young leader.
Panting, Natsuki sat up, wiping blood from her lips with her knuckle.
"Don't you dare speak of her! Don't you dare!" Haruka growled, her whole body shaken in fury.
Natsuki pushed herself up, slightly quivered by the attack. However, she felt a strange surge of foreign power seeping through her. It almost lifted her up in a cloud of air. She didn't know what it was, but it made her feel safer in her powerless state. After a moment of silence, she stared into Haruka's eyes again. "I heard from Yuuki, and I wondered how Yukino died, while leaving you unscathed. A master would usually consume all of their slave's power to heal until the end. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out."
Haruka hauled forwards, but her peers tightened their grasp on her, drawing her back. "Shut up, Kuga! A selfish, weakling like you! You only think of yourself! I never wished to be enslaved like you have!"
"If you think that I wanted to be enslaved, you're sorely mistaken. Even now you still don't understand why Yukino did what she did."
There was a moment of silence from Haruka. It was as though the woman was reliving the last moments with her former master, trying to register what it all truly meant. Slowly, Haruka glanced up at the darkening sky. It didn't matter if she were a vampire or a werewolf now; the sun had been cruel to them all.
More had traveled up the road, joining them. Natsuki and the rest at the third station roadblock turned to look at the growing crowd. Approximately five hundred Lycans were gathering several meters down the road. The number alone was surprising and promising.
"They've come back… as soon as they heard about your return, Master Kuga. They want to fight with us," one of the Lycans explained, slightly out of breath.
Natsuki was chained to her spot. She had never expected it in such a dire time as this. Their return filled her with such a powerful force she could not channel. The look of hope in their weary eyes showed many things, and she wasn't sure if she was ready to take them. She was still trying to fill in the role of a leader, which she had reluctantly accepted. The result was much more overwhelming than she had ever expected. If only her father could see it, he would have been proud of his children.
All of a sudden, the low growl from Haruka caught Natsuki's attention. Emerald gaze steady, Natsuki turned to face the blonde again.
Haruka had finally released her arms from her peers' grips. She had moved to stand in front of Natsuki, hissing in her face. "Good. I'll beat you up in front of them, and see if they still want to fight with you."
Natsuki registered the threat with all her calm. She had every reason to be afraid as Haruka knew of her powerless condition. But, her fear had failed to emerge. As she had lived her whole life, she wanted nothing of deception. She wanted neither condition, nor faith. If it were going to destroy the lair's last thread of hope, she wanted it to be now.
Closing her eyes, Natsuki leapt into the air, evading the direct punch at her. To her own surprise, she could sense even the slightest movements in the air. Her ears picked up more than her eyes could see. Her senses were heightened to full alert, and she could feel the hair on her arms stood in anticipation. Effortlessly, she landed on her feet behind Haruka, her dark hair swaying in the wind. Her agility even amazed herself as her newfound flexibility was akin to that of a vampire elder.
Snarling, Haruka turned and delivered more attacks, fast and fierce. To her frustration, Natsuki managed to dodge again and again even in her human form.
Natsuki found herself cruising through the air, sensing each of Haruka's moves as if in slow motion. Gradually, she realized that her human strength couldn't have taken her this far. Her eyes widened as a memory struck her. It was how she had fought with Tomoe in the girl's room in Searrs headquarters. The young vampire had been powerless against her, but it had been Tomoe's understated nimbleness that eluded Natsuki's attacks. It had been how Tomoe had slipped through her grasp, like water—like air. She now realized that she had inherited the same ability from Shizuru through their bond.
How could this be—
When Natsuki's mind was distracted, Haruka's swing managed to catch her at last. Haruka's hard knuckle landed at Natsuki's stomach, sending Natsuki flying against a tree. Haruka didn't waste another second and transformed into her lupine form. Howling, she lunged towards the prone form, snatching Natsuki by the neck.
"Natsuki-san!" Chie tried to move between them, but was pulled back by the others, who feared for her life.
Her feet high above the ground. Her back against the tree. Natsuki clutched Haruka's thick arm with both hands, wheezing for air. Although her human strength could not have pushed Haruka away, she turned and spiraled in the air, twisting her position and freeing herself from the deadly grasp. As if flying with wings, she landed behind the blonde, gun drawn from her belt holster. The swift move earned her loud murmurs among the crowd. But, Haruka was fast to turn around and seizing her by the neck, holding her up midair.
"AAAAAAAAH!" Haruka roared in Natsuki's face.
Her feet kicking, Natsuki raised her gun, aiming at the beast's chest. However, as she was reluctant to pull the trigger, Haruka knocked the weapon out of right grip. The blonde, then, crushed her wrist in the process. Her blood shot out from the nasty wound, and Natsuki screamed at the top of her lungs. Beads of sweat soaked her whole body, her limbs numbed. She thrashed under the harsh grip, grunting through her gritted teeth.
The crowd gasped at the horror before them. Only Chie managed to step forward, yelling. "NATSUKI-SAN!"
At that very moment, the foreign energy erupted and burned within Natsuki again, stronger and fiercer this time around. It crawled along her injured arm, concentrating all its power over her wound. Her severed flesh started to heal. Her thick claws extended out, cutting deep into Haruka's arm, which was holding her up. Rapidly, the skin on her right arm was enclosed by thick, rippling muscle, and silky, raven fur. She felt the strength in her said arm returning, and even multiplying in its strength. She caught Haruka's wrist with her strong hand and removed the grasp away from her neck.
Clutching the blonde's wrist, Natsuki steadily lowered herself to the ground. All the while, Haruka struggled as she involuntarily descended to her knees, hollering as she tried to resist with all her might. As soon as her feet touched the ground, Natsuki thrust Haruka away with a flick of her transformed wrist, her left hand pulling out a gun and pointing blankly at the struggled Lycan.
Silence.
No one had dared to make the faintest of sound as Natsuki stood over Haruka, her aim steady. At this point, she wouldn't miss it, and everyone knew it. Her chest heaved fast at the exertion, secretly startled by the peculiar changes in her body. Even though her wrist wound seemed to have healed, the pain still lingered, thundering in the back of her mind.
Her body reversing into her human form, Haruka stared at the gun in her face, one hand clutching her injured wrist. She was kneeling, staying absolutely still. Her gaze watched as Natsuki slowly moved her index finger to the trigger.
"No…" Chie whispered. While other Lycans held their breath, watching the scene unfolding before their eyes.
Don't… do it… Walk away from this…
Her hand, which was holding the gun, began to tremble. Natsuki had no idea where the ugly urge to destroy had sprung from. It was crying for her to fulfill it with such animosity Natsuki herself hadn't realized its bottomless abyss. With Shizuru's power coursing through her still, she couldn't help but wonder if this had been the handiwork of their bond. Had Shizuru always felt like this? While Shizuru could only faintly sense her, the bond instead allowed Natsuki to delve deeper into it.
Finally letting out a shaky sigh, Natsuki's mind became a little clearer. She lowered her gun and put it back in its holster. Taking a deep breath in, she concentrated on her transformed arm and tightly clenched its wrist. Her whole body was slightly shuddering. Sheens of sweat soaked her chest and back. She could feel all eyes upon her now. She could even hear them holding their gasps back.
Please, let this work… Come on… Reverse…! Dammit!
Several moments later, the foreign power began to subside, and Natsuki's right arm reversed back to its normal state. Out of breath, she opened her eyes again, gulping. It took her enormous focus to control the transformation, but it did work. She couldn't help but wonder why Shizuru, being the master of the bond, had such a difficulty reversing her own arm, failing to fully control the new power growing through their connection.
Natsuki took a cautious glance at her followers, knowing that the Lycans had been stunned by the transformation. No other werewolf could transform only a part of their body. But, with Shizuru's power, she was the first to succeed. Whether it was fear or awe in her kinsmen's eyes, she wasn't going to decide it just now. She took off her torn jacket and tossed it at Haruka, who caught it firmly in her grasp.
Haruka covered her body with the jacket, grunting as she looked the other way.
Natsuki stared down at her wounded peer, and their gazes locked. "Yukino wouldn't use your power to heal, and she released you from the bond before she would kill both of you. I hope you understand what it meant…, because I'm willing to do the same for her," she said, turning away.
The crowd slowly dispersed, murmuring with one another.
At the sun slipped below the horizontal line, Haruka watched the raven-haired woman disappearing down the road. Hundreds of Lycans followed the young leader, loud chatters echoing through the forest. But, Haruka didn't register the pain on her body. She didn't even feel the humiliation in losing to her reluctant leader. But, all the unknown emotions exploded in her chest, clouding all other sentiments. What she felt was the deep regrets she had been trying to shun from her heart.
Being left helpless on the beach that day, Haruka had feared to taste its bitterness ever again. As much as she had despised to admit, she had been envious of Natsuki's natural ability to enable her master to walk in the sun. It didn't matter what had cost Natsuki to let Shizuru meet the ultimate wish of a vampire, because Haruka knew deep in her heart that she would do exactly the same for her former master. She would have given anything to keep Yukino alive.
Hot tears shot up her eyes, clouding her intense gaze. Haruka clutched the hem of the jacket. She could still feel the warmth from its texture, but nothing in the world could comfort her now. She buried her face in her folded arms over her knees. Her shoulders lacked their usual arrogance and superiority, drooping in bare exhaustion. There were countless times when she had tried to overly show her strength to those around her, but now wasn't one of those moments. In the face of defeat and dishonor, she could finally let herself be. And, it was made bearable only because of what Yukino had sacrificed for her.
Shizuru bolted right up on the bed, out of breath. Her gaze hazily drifted along the furniture of the room for any sign of intruder. Something had callously stirred her out of her nap, but she wasn't sure what it was.
Clearing her throat, she found that she was still in Natsuki's room. She was naked with the blanket pooling at her waist, covering the lower part of her body. It appeared that Natsuki had left. If it weren't for her torn clothes on the floor and the ache in her body, she would have thought that she just had the dreamiest dream of her life.
Pulling the blanket up to her neck, she felt a hollow in her chest as she recalled what had happened just hours earlier. She wouldn't exactly consider it the wisest decision on her part, but she was powerless to stop it. To feel Natsuki in her arms, claiming the woman as hers. The yearning had clouded her reasons, and now she would have to live with its consequence. She had always fiercely guarded her secret life. However, with Natsuki in tow now, she just couldn't ignore it. If only Natsuki knew what was going through her mind.
Shizuru stretched a bit, and the faint tremors along her limbs caught her attention. It wasn't the aftermath of their love making session. She sat still for a bit, trying to decipher what her body was telling her.
Natsuki… Natsuki used my power…?
Her head shot up at the realization. The fact that Natsuki was able to consume her master's power (even if only slightly) greatly surprised her. But, it only meant that the woman was forced to. Was Natsuki in danger now?
Shizuru shut her eyes tightly, concentrating all her awareness on her slave. As much as it had scared her before to delve into their link, for the first time, she willed herself to dive in, trying to sense Natsuki's whereabouts. After a moment passed, the faint sense of Natsuki appeared at the far end of her consciousness. She felt neither danger nor fear from her slave. Everything seemed to have calmed down. It appeared that their bond had deepened, and Natsuki could even bargain the gauge of power herself. The fact that Natsuki could borrow Kazuya's power to read Tomoe's memories, and then broke from his bond on her own cheer will, Shizuru suspected of what the Lycan could do with their bond. Crimson eyes opened, and she let out a shaky sigh of relief. Natsuki was safe.
Then, she could only silently grumble at the empty room. It would have been nice if Natsuki had woken her up.
Noting the drastic change in the room, Shizuru climbed out of the bed and walked towards an outlet on the wall. She inspected the doorway, which had emerged behind the shelf's prior location. It led to her own, tiny room, which was adjacent to Natsuki's. She blinked in mild surprise. Natsuki must have opened the secret outlet for her to see when she wakened up. Then, she blushed lightly at how Natsuki refused to give her old room, and put her in the adjacent room instead.
Shizuru entered her own room and glanced at the clock on the desk, noting the time. As much as she wanted to find Natsuki now, watching Saeko was her main task, and she didn't want to imagine how pissed of Nao must be now. As long as she could still feel Natsuki through their bond, it should comfort her that her slave was safe and sound.
Displease was evident in the jaded-colored eyes Shizuru entered the infirmary. Nao's arms were crossed stoically across her chest, her eyes narrowed as if accusing. Shizuru stopped a little at the glare. Looking away from her friend, she pulled at the hems of the black jacket a little, the garment she had borrowed from Natsuki's broken closet. With the noises she and Natsuki had caused in the room, she wouldn't be surprised if someone had caught it. If the gossip had spread this fast, she wouldn't know how to stop it, or if it was worth trying.
With four bags of donated blood in her hand, Shizuru moved towards the redhead and offered two to her. She had stopped by the kitchen and fetched the supplies before coming down to the infirmary.
"Oh, my, I've been starving! You're the best!" Nao beamed in an instant and gingerly fed herself.
Shizuru chuckled at her friend, and started to consume the much needed blood herself.
"Wait. How did you know I prefer type B?" Nao took down the last gulp, emptying both bags in less than a minute. It should keep her satiated for long hours. It did the job in soothing her sour mood, which was a result from having to stay awake during daytime.
Wiping the blood from her lips with the back of her hand, Shizuru tossed the plastic containers into the bin. Feeling refreshed, she turned to Nao again, smiling lightly. "You often ordered type B back at Searrs."
Nao's mouth popped into a soft 'O', and she looked down a bit as she decided to throw the empty bags into the nearest bin. "Well, thanks."
"You're welcome."
Quietly, Shizuru approached the end of the bed. Her attention was now on Saeko's calm, sleeping face. Her pale hand rested on the prosthetic rail, and it continued to apply pressure on the surface without her knowing it. Her knuckle was white. Her body stoic. Soon, she found her breath caught in her throat, her heart shaken. Seeing Saeko again had brought back many memories they had shared, good and bad.
Whether Shizuru had ever liked Saeko as a companion, it shouldn't matter now. The woman had used her for her own ambition, and Shizuru had used her to fend off the solitude. If a stranger's memories were the only thing that could comfort a vampire in their lonely nights, Saeko had come close to ignite the fire of life when they still spent time together. One would be mistaken to think that a rouge vampire's isolated way of life was their own choosing. Seasons passed by. Years turned into decades. Decades turned into centuries. But, the loneliness never faded. Time was the cruelest thing, and Shizuru had known it best. She didn't ask for it. She didn't want it. But, it was destined for her from the start. Now that she finally found someone, bound by their lives and powers, she simply found it hard to let go.
Shizuru rigidly lowered to sit on the edge of the bed. She stared at Saeko, wishing the woman never to wake again. However, against her own will, her cold hands found Saeko's feet. She lifted them up and rested them on her lap. Then, she began to tenderly massage the woman's feet, warmth generating through their skin contact. She recalled having done it whenever Saeko complained of body ache whilst carrying Natsuki. She would submit to Saeko's demands, and Ahn would question her later of the reason. She had never confessed to Ahn why. It was such a shame to admit that she only wanted human contacts. The simplest thing of all had become the only way to ease the pain. All through winters past, she still longed for it. Ahn couldn't see it, but Saeko could. And, Saeko had shown no reluctance to manipulate her with such desires.
Why…? Why did you come back…?
At the thought, Shizuru instantly let go of Saeko's feet, letting them fall back upon the bed. She shot up to her feet, looking away. She stared at the white wall, unsure of what she was really seeing or not at all.
Hands linked on her full tummy, Nao looked up at the older vampire, eyes wide. "What's wrong?"
Discreetly, Shizuru took a seat on the available chair next to the bed. "I… I'm sorry that I took a long nap. If you want to take a rest now, please do. I'll be fine by myself."
Nao just blinked in confusion, but shrugged. "Yeah, Kuga stopped by earlier. From the way she talked, I thought you'd be back here tomorrow or something."
Shizuru took note of what Nao had meant, but just nodded absentmindedly. It was likely that everyone in the lair must have learned about Natsuki and her now. She had no excuse, and she wasn't going to find one.
Grinning, Nao leaned over the bed, pointing at the sleeping woman. "Hey, I'm super curious, Shizuru. Kuga Saeko is alive. Alive! Can you imagine what she had gone through? Wanna try?"
Shizuru sharply turned to her friend. "Don't."
At the stern warning, Nao stopped. "Why not?"
"We don't know what Searrs had done to her. With the invention of 'Hypnos', I wouldn't want to be the first to assess her blood. She could be poisonous."
Nao raised her brows. "Oh… Yeah, good point there."
"Searrs was founded by a vampire, but the organization itself wasn't built up with the best interest of the immortals." Studying Saeko, Shizuru leaned back in her chair. "That's why we're here. Human interests have overwhelmed Searrs' true goal. Not that Krawczyk had much in mind but to avenge his family's honor. In the end, the immortals are just a tool to human ambition."
After a long moment, Nao perked her chin up. "Krawczyk died because he failed to get on that train to the future. He was stuck in the past. Just like Uriah…" She adamantly nodded to herself. "Yeah, it'll end soon."
Shizuru couldn't help but chortle at the idea. It was just wishful thinking to even dream of Uriah's end. If Searrs, under Krawczyk's command, wouldn't want to risk warring with the queen, Shizuru wasn't sure what could have ended it so soon. "With Krawczyk's passing, I assume that the immortals under Searrs must be more vulnerable than ever. They might even try to switch side to Uriah. Smith will do anything to keep them. But, of course, he needs strong, immortal allies to keep his immortal minions interested."
Her eyes narrowed, Nao stared at her friend for a moment. "Are you saying that you want to ally with Smith?"
"We are fortunate enough to still be alive and have the chance to consider which side we'll choose," Shizuru said simply.
Nao straightened up, worries in her eyes. "Do you really want to go back to Searrs? After what happened, you think we could work together?"
Shizuru mildly shook her head. "I don't know what's going to happen, really. I've always been a rogue, but I have no place to go now that… everyone knows. But, will you go back to Uriah? You still have your maker, don't you?"
Nao grimaced upon hearing about her maker. "Have I… Have I ever told you what happened to my maker?"
Shizuru kept silent, her gaze fixing on the redhead.
"Her name is Tokiha Mai. She was stupefied by her fiancé, a vampire twice younger than her. His failed attempt to erase certain bits of her memories resulted in her losing her mind… I—I think that she even allowed him to do that to her." Nao briefly looked away, her gaze darkened. "She doesn't even remember me now, so I don't really see how I could go back to Uriah. It's not like I had any friends there before the First District was destroyed."
Her hands rested on her lap, Shizuru solemnly nodded. She didn't think it was wise to mention her friendship with Reito at the moment. Things were making it hard for her since he seemed to be the enemy of both Natsuki and Nao. She couldn't be sure at all what would transpire the next time they meet. It was what came with having lived for so long: you couldn't tell who were friends or enemies anymore.
"Allying with Searrs might be a plan after all. Look at the losers around here. We're basically waiting for doomsday. But, will Kuga comply with this? It doesn't seem like she'd suddenly go friendly with the people who killed her father," Nao said, scratching her head.
Shizuru kept her gaze steady on Searrs' latest invention on the bed. Many thoughts ran through mind, and they were not the most optimistic. No other organization was known to be as highly-funded and capable as Searrs, and Saeko was undoubtedly their product. Could Saeko be the last surviving test subject, the fourth chamber, which had fled out of her grasp at the Searrs battle that night? Either way, Shizuru believed that Searrs would want their invention back somehow. Nobody ever invested in something without wanting any kind of returns.
"Natsuki needs more time to think things through. Her father's death was a blow to her," Shizuru said, staring blankly at Saeko. Maybe Saeko could keep Natsuki safe.
Maybe if I… Shizuru cleared her throat a little, trying to distract herself from the thought.
Nao rested her chin on her palm, concerns evident in her eyes. "Do you think Searrs would welcome us without any condition? I don't believe the mortals and immortals divisions in there were fond of each other. They probably weren't fond of Krawczyk either. What makes you think they wouldn't try to get rid of us?"
"It's nothing personal, I guess. It's only business." Shizuru lightly winked.
Nao narrowed her eyes for a long moment, her mouth gaping. "The Godfather."
Shizuru raised her brows. "You watched it?"
"Who didn't?" Nao rolled her eyes. "I know what a TV is. On a side note, they're really thin now. I didn't think anything could get thinner than supermodels, but TV just did. Amazing, isn't it? From black and white, grainy films to what we see now. My sad, boring, long life is now in full HD."
Shizuru chortled, flashing her white teeth. She shook her head in amusement.
For some reason, Nao's cheeks flushed, and she ineptly scratched her chin. "Although I find it amusing that The Origin had time to watch movies."
"Late night movie time. Ahn insisted. It did actually broaden my artistic side."
Nao couldn't help but smile. She looked away for a few moments as if to chase away the smile before she looked at Shizuru again. "So… we're in business or what?"
"That depends—" Shizuru paused when a slight movement from the bed was caught from the corner of her eyes. She turned to look at the pale face, and a familiar pair of eyes stared back at her. For the longest moment, she was transfixed under the fragile, yet intense gaze.
"I… Am I dreaming…?" Saeko's voice was coarse and dry, but remained the youthful and feisty tone Shizuru had always remembered.
Shizuru sat back, studying the woman. She wasn't sure if she had the right answer.
"Sh—Shizuru…" Saeko called out, but stopped. She was perplexed at the ties on her four limbs.
The moment panic began to rise in Saeko's eyes, Shizuru moved to sit on the edge of the bed, holding the woman's nearest hand to her. She lacked details of Saeko's physical and mental conditions, thus she wouldn't want to risk having Saeko's emotions stirred. She feared for the worst scenario, which had happened in the woods earlier today.
"It's all right. You're all right now, Saeko." Shizuru smiled. "I'm glad that you still remember me."
Saeko weakly frowned. "What happened?" After a moment, her eyes widened in comprehension. "Ah, the crash… The crash. We survived it…"
Shizuru briefly sent Nao a cautious glance before slowly unfastening Saeko's wrist from the belt. She lifted the hand and kissed the back of it, her lips lingering on the smooth skin. "Apparently, yes. We both survived it somehow."
A smile of relief washed through Saeko's face. Her gaze lit up as she clutched Shizuru's hand back, unknowingly pulling the vampire closer.
Shizuru toppled forwards, leaning down so close to Saeko's face. She noted the inhuman strength Saeko had failed to gauge. Saeko's powers seemed to be a mix of a vampire elder's healing power and a fearsome strength of a strong Lycan, although her transformed body had appeared to be smaller than that of a normal Lycan. It was proven that UV bullets weren't fatal to Saeko, but Shizuru didn't want to make a bet on silver nitrate rounds either. What could stop Saeko now? She wondered if a round of Hypnos would work on the hybrid.
"Where are we now?" Saeko's gaze flickered around the infirmary almost in excitement. Then, she paused when she realized how the vampire was struggling to keep herself upright against her pull.
Shizuru's face remained expressionless as she straightened up. There was a sudden hint of fear in Saeko's eyes as the woman stared up at her. Shizuru calmly placed their linked hands on her lap. "Listen to me carefully. We crashed that night and fell off the cliff. I was saved by Ahn, but you were laid dying on the beach. You lost your right leg from the accident. Your wound was so severe that we believed you to be dead. Do you remember any of that?"
After a quiet moment, Saeko's eyes widened as influx of memories came back and hit her like a speeding truck. Her body shook uncontrollably as she tried to twist and turn on the bed as if to run away from all the memories. Only the cold hand in hers had stopped her, pulling her back from the abyss of fears. She, then, peeked down at her own legs, confused to see that they appeared fine still. Out of the blue, flashes of white-coated men walking about crossed her mind. Their muffled conversations. Their laughs and nods in agreement. Their shaking of the bottles of cold champagne. Most of all, their scrutinizing gazes upon her. The flashes of memories rushed through her mind, skipping so fast, that she felt nauseous. She had to shut her eyes again.
"Saeko… Stay with me, Saeko…" The melodic voice spoke to her.
Saeko tried to focus only on the voice, her chest heaving fast. The memories were too much for her to bear. It took her a long moment before she could calm her breathing down, casting the bits and pieces of memories aside. She opened her eyes and glanced up at Shizuru, her mouth gaping. "You… You told me that you're… The Origin…" Saeko muttered.
Shizuru snugged Saeko's hand to her chest, her other hand brushing the damp locks of hair from her face. "Your memories are as sharp as ever."
Saeko froze. Her shoulders automatically pressed back into the futon as if to gain the most distance she could from the vampire. Her eyes were unblinking as she stared up at the face before her.
There was no 'Fujino Shizuru'. No old friend. 'The Monster' was all Shizuru could read from the horror on the woman's face. However hurt she felt, she continued to gently caress Saeko's cheek. "It's been forty eight years since the accident, Saeko. Ahn has passed away over a month ago. And, I believe you've been subjected to Searrs' trials of experiment all through the past decades. You've become an immortal just like me… Do you remember what happened during the time?" Shizuru said, commanding Saeko's attention on her with her fierce gaze.
For the moment, Saeko seemed to be attentive, taking all what Shizuru had said like an obedient child. "F—forty eight years…? I… I recall only vaguely of the men in white… I… Hideaki… Where is he? Where's my husband? Is—is he here?" Her gaze flickered in panic. She stared briefly at Nao, terror in her eyes to see another vampire nearby.
"This is going to be tough, Saeko. But, you need to stay here with me… There was a battle in which Kuga Hideaki tried to free your daughter from Searrs. He died only a few weeks ago."
At the information, Saeko's head snapped back to Shizuru. Her body grew frail. Her shoulders and hands were trembling. "No… How was that possible? H—he was the strongest Lycan! No, he couldn't have been defeated!"
Shizuru bit her bottom lip. "I am so sorry. Searrs had taken your daughter hostage, and it was a very brave thing what your husband did."
Tears bathed her face, Saeko tried to catch her breath. "M—my daughter?" She blinked a few times as if to recall more of her past. "Natsuki… My baby… Is—is she safe? Where is she? Why did Searrs take her away?" She started to kick and pull, fighting the belts around her three limbs.
"Natsuki isn't a baby anymore. She's become the only natural born Lycan in the world," Shizuru explained.
"Yeah, you got yourself one big weird family, and even weirder in-law," Nao said, eyeing the hybrid creature with both caution and amazement.
"Nao." Shizuru stressed her voice in a disapproving tone.
Saeko looked between Shizuru and Nao, gulping. She freed her hand from Shizuru's grasp and wiped the tears from her face. "I—I would like to meet my daughter. Where is she now?"
"How are you feeling, Natsuki-san?"
Natsuki looked up at Chie, who was only a few meters away from her. They found themselves a spot behind the rows of concrete barriers they had set up to hinder any ground movement from intruders. They had inspected the second roadblock, and now had stationed at the first roadblock down the road.
"This might refresh you." Chie knelt at the drinks container, fishing out two cans of beer. She tossed one to Natsuki.
Natsuki raised her hand and caught a can from her bodyguard. "That'll do. Thanks." She waited a moment before pulling the stay-tab. Cold drink spilled out a little over her hand.
Natsuki took the first sip as she scanned her gaze into the dark. After her fight with Haruka a few hours ago, she definitely fancied a break. She had explained to the returning members the safety rules inside and around the lair, and how they'd take turn, watching the whole area. Thankfully, the lair had now acquired roughly 700 members, easing the burden on the guards assigned prior. Their chance to defend their home against Uriah was slim, but there was nowhere else they'd rather be at this dire moment.
The sky was dark. The wind became even chillier than Natsuki had expected. In her white tank top, she regretted having lent Haruka her jacket now.
Urgh! She just disappeared!
Natsuki had hoped that Haruka would return and give back her jacket. Quickly, she gulped down some more, frustrated by the idea of shivering in front of her peers.
She grumbled inwardly. It had never been this hard to act among her kinsmen. She had always been herself, indifferent to anyone or anything. But now that she had all the responsibilities on her shoulders, she found it hard to just be keep up to their expectation. Her world had been in black and white, but shades of gray had ruthlessly threatened her stance. She realized now what it took her father to become the leader he was. What sacrifices he must make. And, she thought back how she sulked at his aloofness, guileless on how lonely he must have truly been.
Then, the thought of the stranger in the infirmary entered Natsuki's mind. She recalled her father's warm embrace, and couldn't help questioning what would be of their family now if only her mother had followed him to the ranch decades ago. To this place. It was supposed to be their quiet home. It was supposed to be many things. Had her mother returned to the lair back then, she wondered if she ever had to live through her father's bitterness and heartache. If they all had to go through such pain as they did now.
"What's on your mind, Natsuki-san?" Chie moved to sit next to her, and took a sip of her drink.
"Nothing important," Natsuki mumbled. The past should be remained in the past. What she should think now was the future, however bleak it may be.
"It just feels so nice that they've come back!" Chie said. Although there was a smile on her face, but Natsuki could see a tinge of sadness in her bodyguard's eyes.
Natsuki frowned at her companion. "Did you expect to see Aoi?"
Chie looked away for a bit. "Well, yeah… I thought that I meant more to her."
Natsuki sighed over her drink. "It sucks, doesn't it? We all wish that we mean more than we actually are."
It took Chie a moment to take the words in. She turned to her master. "What? I—I thought that Shizuru-san is… I thought that she has returned your feelings."
Frowning, Natsuki studied the deepening shade of red on Chie's cheeks. "Don't tell me that you were one who spread the gossip."
"Nn—no! I mean, I heard noises, b—but…" Chie scratched her cheek a little. "I went to your room to report the return of some members, but… Yeah, I guess I was a little too excited."
Shaking her head, Natsuki mildly shrugged. Chie was famous for spreading news and gossips around, and Natsuki wasn't surprised. Whatever they talked behind her back. After all, it was her personal life, and she wasn't going to let others decide it for her.
"Aoi… She's out of my reach now, but what about Shizuru-san? Shouldn't you be contented that you're linked with her? Besides, you could even selectively transform your body! How incredible is that? They were in so much awe to see it!"
Natsuki let out a small sigh. At least, her peers didn't freak out by the transformation of her arm. Turning to Chie, she stressed the seriousness with their locked gazes. "I gotta admit something… Suzushiro was right for being angry with me. We just found out today that, by being bound to Shizuru, she consumed my powers to the point that I couldn't transform or use my supernatural strength at all. Suzushiro was furious that I wouldn't break the bond."
Chie's jaw dropped at the revelation. "B—but you could transform your arm—"
"I really don't know how I did it. It must be some kind of a reflex, or something." Natsuki looked down at her drink, her hands slightly trembling by the cold wind. "Look… You don't have to guard me anymore. My father isn't here to scold at you any longer. From this moment on, I am no longer your priority. You can even leave the lair, and I won't hold a grudge against you."
Chie suddenly froze at the words. She, then, shook her head furiously. "No, it is my duty—"
"Live the most you can, while you still can. That's what I'm trying to do." Natsuki meant every word, and she was amused to see the bewildered look on her friend's face.
But, a grim look then appeared in Chie's eyes instead. "I would have chased after Aoi, Natsuki-san. I would have left everything behind just to get her back, if only she's worth it. It doesn't matter if she was a Lycan or a vampire. It doesn't matter if she had my life or my powers in her hand. Her action speaks for itself. She isn't worth it…" Chie looked down a little as if contemplating. "I think everyone here has an idea or two what will happen soon, but we still want to be here no matter what, because it's worth a try." She, then, widely smiled, and softly clanked her can with Natsuki's.
Upon hearing such commitment, Natsuki stopped and took in what Chie had just said. A strange kind of joy erupted in her heart. She relaxed in her post with a small smile curving up her lips. She lightly nudged Chie's shoulder. "Can I get another can?"
Grinning, Chie promptly moved to fetch another two cans from the cooling container. When she sat at her previous spot again, she handed Natsuki the second drink. She took a sip, and shook her head as if warring with a thought in her mind. "Say, Natsuki-san… You didn't sound very optimistic about Shizuru-san?"
"Shizuru is just being Shizuru. It looks like she just wants to run away all her life." Natsuki grumbled over her drink, fixing her gaze on the tiny glazes of ice around the can.
"Oh, come on! I've never seen you so unsure before!" Chie poked her master's knee with her own.
"Come on, what? I'd never been with a vampire before. Maybe they're just weird, which makes me weird… in turn…"
Chie chuckled. "I saw how she guarded you day and night at Ms. Ahn's home for weeks. I wouldn't know how to interpret it another way. I think she's very deeply in love with you."
Natsuki was thankful for the darkness around them as her cheeks was flushed with heat. "I think I know a—about her feelings for me. But, I have a feeling that she might just disappear if I let her break our bond. Things are so fickle… Life is," she muttered.
"Oh, Natsuki-san, you can't tell her to break the bond. She's the one, who can break it. The fact that she's still bound with you tells me that she doesn't want to leave." Chie winked.
"You're too smart for your own good." Natsuki diligently kept her attention on the drink.
"I'm curious though. What will you do, if she refuses to break the bond? I mean, one cannot easily give up the powers, can they?"
At the notion, Natsuki quizzically looked at her friend. She found the question absurd. Shizuru had been reluctant even to feel their link. After all Shizuru and her had been through, Natsuki had her complete trust in the vampire.
All of a sudden, Natsuki picked up the rays of light flashing in the dark, reflecting on the tree trunks. Her ears pricked up. A humming of an engine was approaching, heading their way. Without another second to waste, she shot up to her knees. She turned to lean over the concrete barrier. Her gun drawn, she fired two shots into the dark. Two bursts echoed through the woods, followed by desperate yelps. Natsuki straightaway knew that her shots had hit the wheels.
The nearby Lycans howled in anticipation. Fully alert, they rose to their feet, leaning over the barriers. Their rifles were drawn, aiming down the road.
Natsuki stayed still. She listened carefully, trying to pick up any sound of reinforcement. There was none, but the whimpers from two men, where the vehicle had skidded and fallen.
"Oiiiiii! Don't shoot! It's me! Don't shoot!"
"Please, don't shoot us!"
Natsuki frowned. Her armed hands lowered. "Yuuichi…? Is that you, Yuuichi!?"
"Hold your fire!" Chie shouted to the Lycans on the front, although they still held their aims.
"Natsuki!" Yuuichi called out, excitement in his voice.
Stuffing her gun back into its place, Natsuki leapt across the barrier and ran down the alpine road. She threw herself at her friend, tears of joy welling up her eyes. "You're back! I thought you were dead!"
Laughing, Yuuichi leaned back in her tight hug, so that he could get a clearer look at her face. "Sorry to disappoint you. But, yeah, I'm back!"
However, Natsuki's smile quickly disappeared. She only stared up at him, recalling what she had done in the tunnel. She couldn't forgive herself even if she was controlled under Kazuya's bond. They could have died before of her.
Natsuki's arms loosened from around his neck. "I… I'm sorry that I hurt you, and—"
"No, stop. We all know what happened, and you did the best you could. You broke his bond, Natsuki. I'm so proud of you," Yuuichi said, tightening his hold around her. Only when she began to lighten up, he continued, "I was able to escape Searrs' Fuuka headquarters before sunrise. Here, Masashi sheltered me through the past weeks. I wouldn't have made it without his help!"
Natsuki pulled away, retracting her arms from Yuuichi. She noted of the person standing behind her friend. Takeda offered her a smile. "Masashi-kun," she regarded with a surprised smile.
"Nn—Natsuki-san!" Takeda bowed so that his head almost met his knees.
"Thank you for taking care of Yuuichi and bringing my friend back to me."
Takeda straightened himself up, blushing heavily. "Y—you're welcome!"
Yuuichi gripped Natsuki's hand and pulled her closer yet again. His face appeared a little grim. "I heard about Master Hideaki. Are you all right?"
At the mention of her father, Natsuki stopped for a few moments to collect herself. She forced the words out of her dry throat. "I have to be, yeah?"
Yuuichi studied her for a bit and walled back his sigh. "You know you always have me, Natsuki." He enveloped her in a firm embrace, and they both clung to each other, swaying on their feet.
At a nostalgic moment of like this, their body warmth from an embrace only reminded Natsuki of their childhood days. The memories of her father yelling at them. How her father finally gave in and turned Yuuichi into a Lycan for her. How her father simply let their relationship bloom and died down like a young fickle love, letting her learn it as it came. He had loved her so much that he would grant her anything. Now, that he was gone, she wasn't sure how to hold onto the past that would never return.
"I miss him… so much…" Natsuki muttered, clenching her fists.
Yuuichi kissed the crown of her head. "Me, too."
Yuuichi only backed away from Natsuki when Takeda stepped up to them. Takeda quickly took off his brown, pilot jacket and offered it to Natsuki.
"Y—you're trembling, Natsuki-san. I think that the air is quite ch—chilly tonight!"
Natsuki frowned at first, but then her face lit up at the kind gesture. She, indeed, needed a jacket. "Thanks, Masashi-kun." She took the jacket and put it on. It was several sizes too big that she had to fold up the sleeves, but it helped fend off the cold air just fine.
"It's an honor, Natsuki-san!" Takeda's face was redder than a tomato now, if that was even possible at all.
"Let's go inside, eh?" Yuuichi smiled.
"Well, you guys must be tired. Go ahead with Masashi-kun. I gotta station here. We'll catch up tomorrow."
Yuuichi frowned as he looked around, taking in the surrounding. He had been too excited to see Natsuki again that he had neglected everything else. "Oh… Oh, wow, I could stay and help—"
"Nah, we'll be fine. Go get some rest. It's going to be a long day for you tomorrow." Natsuki turned to Chie. "Could you please take him back to the mansion and brief him of our schedules and plans?"
"Yes, sir!" Chie giddily waved at Yuuichi. "Welcome back, Yuuichi-kun!"
Grinning, Yuuichi followed Chie. Other members started to flock around him, greeting him.
When her friend began to trek uphill, Natsuki let out a big puff of air in relief. Today had been much more eventful for her than she had expected. To see her best friend, along with several hundred members, return to the lair was much more than she had hoped for.
"Uh, Natsuki-san, a—allow me," Takeda said, walking up closer to her.
Natsuki lightly snapped. She had just realized that Takeda was still around. His shaky hands reached out and pulled up the collar of his jacket for her, giving her maximum protection from the wind. If his face grew any redder, she suspected that it might actually burst like a crushed watermelon. It was pretty obvious now that he had a huge crush on her, and somehow she found his stutters, if not annoying, amusing. If nothing else, she had always been thankful for his help at Midori's old house, and for helping Yuuichi in his hard times.
"Thank you, Masashi-kun. I'm very grateful for your helps."
He scratched the back of his head, staring down at his feet. "It's nothing, Natsuki-san! I am willing to help!"
Natsuki hid her balled fists in the jacket pockets, studying the former Searrs agent. "What will you do now?"
After a moment, Takeda morosely nodded to himself. "I helped your father with the routes inside and out of the headquarters. Naturally, I can't go back to Searrs now."
Natsuki's eyes narrowed in heavy thoughts. "I've put you in a very difficult situation, Masashi-kun. You've repaid your debt to me. You don't owe me anything anymore." A look of horror flashed across his face, and she couldn't help but be taken aback. "No! I—I mean, you're welcome to stay with us. I don't mean to chase you away!"
At her reassurance, Takeda began to relax, sheepishly grinning. "Thank you so much, Natsuki-san! I will make myself very useful here!"
"I have to inform you that Uriah might come after us any moment now. Should you feel the need to leave, feel free to do so. It might be safer to stay away from us immortals."
Takeda's eyes brightened up in full energy. He pounded his chest. "Hah! All through my years at Searrs, I've never been afraid of the ancient vampires! They're all cowards, who only hide on that forgotten island! I have no fear of them!"
Natsuki only smirked at his enthusiasm. Some people could be so optimistic that she found it amusing. "Well, then, have a good rest tonight, Masashi-kun." She sidestepped to let him follow Yuuichi up the hilly road.
Saeko blinked a few times as she looked down at the white steps. She was now standing in front of the mansion. The frosty air accompanied her, softly blowing her short, dark hair back. Fortunately, Nao had fetched her some new clothes. Saeko was wearing a teal-colored shirt, a pair of faded jeans, covered with a black trench coat, and a white scarf around her neck.
One hand on Shizuru's extended arm, Saeko steadied herself, trying to gauge the weight of her body on her legs. It all felt so new to her like it wasn't even her own body. Feasibly, it really wasn't entirely. From what she vaguely remembered that morning on the beach forty-eight years ago, her right leg should have been lost forever. But, here she was, standing on two strong feet, her limbs much heavier than ordinary human being's.
On this night, she had come to stand in her husband's home—their family's home, only decades too late. She wasn't even her old self anymore. She was no longer the master of her own destiny. She was no longer chasing the vengeance she had desired. The delusion had ultimately led her here, punishing her with all the years absent, the chances of happiness forever gone. She couldn't even begin to understand or accept what had transpired. Where should she go from here?
"Are you all right?" Shizuru softly touched Saeko's hand on her arm.
At the melodic voice, Saeko snapped out of her thoughts. She turned to see the crimson gaze, and took in the familiar flash of worry. It was just like the old days when Ahn and Shizuru would frown upon her questions and plans. Her husband and her friends were worried for her, but she only had the chance to truly appreciate it now. How worthless her attempts had been?
"I think we should go back inside," Nao commented. The red-haired vampire was standing behind the pair.
"Saeko?" Shizuru repeated.
The pacified, crimson gaze always had a strange effect on her, and Saeko weakly nodded in response. "I'm… I'm fine. I would like to see my daughter, please." Possibly, it was Shizuru's unintended kindness that had indulged her into her suicidal pursuit. It was as though her delusion and ambition mingled and descended into one chaotic dream. Nothing had ever gone as planned. Not for her. Not for her husband and daughter. It was ironic how she was standing here now, feeling old and jaded in this young body, feeling unready to face the real world.
"She should be down the road. Follow me." Shizuru carefully retracted her arm. She waited a few moments to see if Saeko could stay on her feet on her own.
Then, the two vampires led the way down the road.
Gulping, Saeko took the first step into the open. She hugged herself as she took swift glances around the area. The whispers from the thick forest. The clean, clear air. The starry sky. It was what her husband had dreamed for them. Indeed, it was just a dream.
Seeing lights down the road, Saeko quickened her pace to catch up with the vampires. She hadn't realized how far she had come along the dark road. But, she believed that she had already passed two roadblocks. There were many groups of Lycans around, but, thankfully, most of them hadn't taken to the time to spare her a glance. Or, they hadn't the courage to scrutinize the creature she had become. All through her life, she had cast vampires as the pariahs, but now she felt no less relegated. The path was still dark ahead. Her mind became feverish in this cold night. Her body heated in impatience. She needed an answer. A way out.
"Wait… Sh—Shizuru…" Saeko called out in panic. She only halted to take a few deep breaths in when Shizuru stopped and turned towards her.
Wiping the beads of sweat from her face, Saeko straightened up. She, then, saw a slim figure leaning against the heavy, concrete barrier ahead. Emerald eyes gazed up and met with hers. They were Hideaki's eyes, or they reminded her as such. It couldn't have been mistaken. The young, raven-haired woman froze upon seeing her. She looked pale in the dimmed lights from bonfires and flashlights. A little too thin for Saeko's imagination of her own baby.
Na… tsuki… My Natsuki?
Tears shot to Saeko's eyes, and she couldn't tell exactly why. Last time she recalled having seen her daughter was holding the baby in her arms. How she remembered the angry look in her husband's eyes. How heartbroken and disappointed he was. Fate had the cruelest way to play with them.
Natsuki straightened up. Her gaze was unreadable. Slowly, she walked up to Shizuru. "Shizuru," she muttered huskily.
"I'll be close." With that, Shizuru, along with Nao, promptly retreated from the area.
Natsuki took a deep breath in as she turned to the lone figure standing near her. She stared at Saeko from head to toe. "So… you're awake," she commented dryly. "How are you feeling?"
Hands weakly clasped together at her chest, Saeko studied the stranger before her. Natsuki's gaze was intense and vibrant, even much more so than what Saeko remembered of Hideaki's. If not the color of Natsuki's eyes and hair, her facial complexion that was a mix of both Hideaki and her, Saeko would have a hard time believing it all. Had it really been forty-eight years? How much had happened since then? How much had been lost? The questions hung heavily in her heart, almost bleeding her in despair.
Natsuki kept the few feet distance from Saeko. She cleared her throat and asked, "This is Kuga Hideaki's lair? Have you ever been here before? Do you remember anything?"
It amused and saddened Saeko at the same time that the young woman appeared as though she was ready to run at any given moment. "I remember holding you in my arms before I gave you to Hideaki. I didn't know that it would be the last time I got to see you. That was… many, many years ago. Am I dreaming?" Saeko forced out the words, her voice shaky.
Natsuki lifted her indifferent gaze up at Saeko, her hand stoically serving herself another sip from the drink in her hand. "Yeah, tell me if I've been dreaming. I'd spent my whole life avenging your death. Tell me that it was all meaningless."
At those words, Saeko burst out and choked on her tears. She covered her mouth with both hands. "I'm… so sorry… Natsuki, I'm so sorry…" Deep regrets flooded through her heart as she only wished back for the time lost. If only Hideaki could be here with them. If only she could turn back the time, her daughter would not have stood here, pained and alone. Their lives would not have been as empty as their attempts at delusional retribution. Many would have fought for a second chance, but Saeko found it hard to face the opportunity now.
Natsuki stared down at Saeko as her mother was driven to her knees by her own sobs. She had made no move to approach the woman. It took her several moments before another word could escape her throat. "He once told me that you named me after your nanny," she said offhandedly, fleetingly glancing away.
Her shoulders trembling, Saeko looked up at her daughter, warm tears welling up her eyes. For the first time in her life, she was begging for forgiveness.
"I like it."
The words came curt, but soft. However, they filled Saeko with such deep sentiment that she couldn't even see its bottom of joy. "Wh—what else did he tell you?" she asked, braving herself of what she might not want to hear.
Natsuki stared into the dark, seemingly lost in her own thoughts. "He told me many things, but I'm not sure if I really want to hear your side of it… It scares me…"
Saeko's face screwed up in hurt. She pulled the collar of her trench coat closer, clutching it so tightly that her whole body ached from her force. As a former Searrs agent, she had gone through many life threatening situations. But, this moment rendered those times into nothingness. Gazing up at the green pools, she searched for a sign. Any sign that could tell her that there were still hopes in the years of their absence from each other's life.
"I'm scared, too." Saeko found herself admitting her fears, shredding all the confidences and resolutions, which had shaped 'Watanabe Saeko' as an infamous agent. "But I want to wake up from this nightmare. I want to be with you, to protect you, if you'll have me, Natsuki… Please, let me be a part of you—"
Natsuki threw the drink in hand against the concrete barrier. The can popped, crushed, earning a few glances from her peers. But, they were quick to resume their tasks and moved away. After a few moments, Natsuki straightened up. "I don't even know who, or what you are. I never needed you in my life. I certainly don't need you now."
Emerald gaze turned to fix upon Saeko. If there was pain in those eyes, Saeko mirrored its sentiment like a salted, flesh wound. Saeko bit her bottom lip, her body bent in submission. It startled her as nothing—no one could have ever made her surrender. Not even her ambition to reach Uriah. Not even death. But, here stood a stranger, commanding everything she had ever known. Her every breath.
"I don't know how I survived those experiments Searrs had put me through, but… I could only think that you're the only thing that's kept me alive. You're my everything, Natsuki. Let me protect you. It's the only thing I wish for." Shutting her eyes tightly, Saeko's hands trembled on her knees. She had poured out everything she had held in her heart. She wouldn't know if heaven had heard her as there had been only madness around her all through her life. It had plunged her deep into hell and back. She wasn't even sure where she stood now, and she only hoped that her daughter would be the light guiding her out of this darkness.
Sitting along the thick branch of a tree, Shizuru hung her legs down, both hand hands on the roughed surface for steadier support. From several meters away, she watched how Natsuki reluctantly knelt down beside Saeko.
The young Lycan took her mother's hands in hers. Natsuki appeared a little inept, as if she didn't know what she should do, or say to her mother. There was a hint of sadness in those green eyes, and the understated gentleness in Natsuki's grasp. Shizuru could see it clearly, and she believed that Saeko could as well. The mother, then, slowly rested her head against her daughter's shoulder, warmed in the hesitant hug.
For an immortal, a hint of humanity was perhaps the only thing that could keep the fragile fire in their soul burning through endless winters of solitude. Through the façade of indifference and candor, Natsuki's kindness had managed to shine with ease. It had burnt like a candle in the dark. It was young, fickle and bright. It was impossible for Shizuru to ignore. How long had it been since someone could make her truly feel anything, absorbed by hurts and longings?
Shizuru watched the scene below as her thoughts involuntarily revisited the past. It seemed so long ago. It was as if she was seeing someone else's dream. Then, a lone tear rolled down her cheek. Shizuru flinched slightly at the cold trail on her own skin. Frowning at her own slip, she looked at the back of her hand, which had tugged away the tear from her cheek.
Seeing Saeko again had brought back too many memories, good and bad. Shizuru's chest tightened. Her body icy. Involuntarily, her heart had secretly cried out for the familiar warmth of Ahn's arms. Their laughter. Their shared pain and joy. As much as she had tried to treat Ahn as a past, as she had done so for the past several years in preparing herself for the inevitable loss, their memories together had never been kind to her. She missed their fierce loyalty and devotion, which rarely came by all through the millennia. For an immortal like her, in the end all she had was time. Nothing else. No one.
"She's tired. I'll take her back to the mansion. You, be careful out here, all right?"
Shizuru paused as her mind registered the voice below. She turned her attention back to Natsuki.
Arden had approached Natsuki and Saeko. The blue-eyed Lycan tenderly touched Saeko's arms, urging her to stand up.
"Well, thanks, Arden," Natsuki said. Her brows furrowed in discomfort, possibly due to the prying eyes of the bystanders.
"Anything for you," Arden said with a shrug.
Natsuki stopped a little, but quickly turned to her mother. "I'll see you in the morning."
Saeko stood up, but shook her head. "I want to stay here with you, Natsuki—"
Natsuki rubbed her mother's shoulders. "We'll be fine. There're many of us here. Get a good rest tonight. I'll definitely need your help around the lair tomorrow. Good night… mom…" Her last word came out in a whisper, but Shizuru could catch it.
When Arden helped Saeko away from the roadblock, Shizuru looked up and caught a pair of vigilant eyes a few trees away from where she was.
Nao was occupying a thick branch herself. Her head resting back against her joined palms, the redhead stared back at Shizuru. "Urgh…, all right…!" Nao grunted. She rolled off the tree and landed behind Arden and Saeko. The pair stopped and turned to look at her questioningly, but she just shrugged as a response.
Arden knowingly gazed up and found Shizuru's whereabouts. For a long moment, their gazes were locked, harsh and searching. It was far from a friendly look, but Shizuru wasn't one bit perturbed by it. Without another word, Arden urged Saeko to continue their walk. Nao lazily followed them up the hilly path.
When the three disappeared from her sight, Shizuru turned her attention back to Natsuki, who was standing alone by the concrete block. She didn't trust Arden as the woman was openly associated with Searrs in the past. But, for immortals, the issue of trust could be tricky. It was what happened at Searrs, how Kazuya and Smith fell out. How the likes of Tokiha Mai responded to Uriah. They lived too long, and their alliances became fickle as centuries past. They just couldn't tell who was friends or enemies anymore.
Shizuru had considered taking Arden's blood to read her memories, but decided against it. Learning Searrs as the organization truly was, she wouldn't be surprised if Arden came prepared for any possible attack. She had tasted the bitterness of their invention, 'Hypnos', and she didn't particularly fancy the idea of tasting it again. At this crucial moment, she needed all the powers she could get. Her only goal was to protect Natsuki at all costs.
Contented as she hid behind the shades of the tress and leaves, Shizuru continued to observe the raven-haired woman, captivated by the sight of the striking, haunting face. Emerald orbs reflected the moonlight, shining their brightest against the stars above. Numerous times had Shizuru tried to ignore the yearnings inside of her, but failed every time. She continued to find herself walking back to the Lycan. She couldn't even fathom her own actions whenever Natsuki was concerned. This stranger had suddenly walked into her life and held such importance to her that she had repeatedly forsaken her centuries-old rules of secrecy. Had it been her curiosity on Saeko's child, the only natural born Lycan? Had it been the life, rage and compassion in those vibrant eyes, all the sentiments Shizuru hadn't felt in her for a long time? Had it all been just a means to fend off the torturous solitude she didn't know how to lose?
Here, they were tonight. Confused and cornered. Bonded and broken. Whatever it was, Shizuru found herself once again at the perilous path.
Before she could stop herself, Shizuru slid off the branch. She landed on her feet on the ground. Quietly, she walked up to the Lycan, who was still staring into the road ahead. She wasn't sure if Natsuki had registered her presence, but the other members had already increased their distance upon seeing her. She came to stand next to Natsuki, watching as the raven locks sway in the wind.
Natsuki was leaning over the barrier, her hands fidgety over her drink. She was staring up at the starry sky. "Tell me. You wake up one day, and your dead mother suddenly becomes alive. What would you say to her…? This world is so fucking crazy, isn't it?"
It is crazy that I'm still here with you.
Shizuru simply stared at her lover, her arms stiffened by her sides. Crimson burnt in callous fire. She forced herself to keep still before she would reach out for the younger woman. A sort of self-preservation she had tried to achieve ever since she had met Natsuki. She had tried so hard to bury her longings—to ignore the fierce desires within her. She had even forced herself to mentally block the bond between them, disabling her from sensing Natsuki's presence before. She had feared what would be exposed of her heart if she even let it open a slit.
But, the dam had been broken, and her desires had been released like a wild beast. Natsuki had ruthlessly barged into her life, singlehandedly destroying her determination to keep her road of solitude. Her slave had reached into her soul, succeeding in bargaining a slice of control over it. Now that Shizuru had let herself feel the bond between them, she found it hard to disregard it. For the short period of time they had been linked, its taste was a sweet addiction, high and mind-blowing. If only Natsuki knew the depth of her feelings. If only she could chain her slave with her at all times, she would. Whatever Natsuki had done, it was driving her crazy.
"This world is crazy, but you've kept me sane." Shizuru's words came out a soft whisper.
Upon hearing the words, Natsuki turned to look into the crimson eyes, slightly blushing. Her hand gripped the edge of the concrete block as her lips mumbled for words. "I—I wouldn't be here if not because of you."
"I guess that makes two of us." Shizuru stepped closer to the raven-haired woman. She scooped Natsuki into her arms, causing Natsuki's drink to spill out a little at her pull.
"Sh—Shizuru!" Natsuki glanced around with wide eyes. Her blush only lessened at the growing distance of her peers.
Shizuru leaned in and took in a deep breath of Natsuki's scent. She briefly noted the large jacket Natsuki was wearing, but instantly brushed the annoyance aside. She had Natsuki in her arms—in her control. No one could have taken Natsuki away from her now. "You smell like summer, fiery and rushed," she sighed into Natsuki's ear.
Natsuki raised her brows, now comfortably leaning in the strong hold. "And, you're cold like winter. Swift and harsh like wintry storms," she remarked, and chuckled.
Shizuru rested her chin on Natsuki's right shoulder, humming to herself. "Summer and winter. We don't even meet on the calendar. Where's autumn?"
Natsuki lightly slapped the back of the vampire's hand, shaking her head. "Stop being so silly."
"Oh, autumn is when you left me on the bed all alone." Shizuru playfully bit Natsuki's earlobe, causing the Lycan to snap and growl at her.
"Shizuru! Nn—not here!" Angrily blushing, Natsuki glanced around again in panic. Thankfully, the other lair members knowingly looked the other way. For once, the Lycans knew exactly what to do.
"Spring is when you decide to kiss me," Shizuru continued nonchalantly.
Natsuki smirked. "I can kiss you anytime I wish."
At the inviting words, Shizuru hugged Natsuki even tighter, if that was possible without hurting the woman. Her smile was jaded. Her embrace was rigid, and her thoughts were heavy. She didn't even know what had led her here. What had transpired today was far from what she had imagined. Stuck in a bond she didn't initiate. Hesitant to walk way.
No. She never wanted to leave.
Shizuru knew that she should have ignored Natsuki in the First District library, and escaped before dawn. She should have left Natsuki at Midori's old house, and avoided confronting Searrs agents. She should have fled Searrs' Fuuka headquarters, not bothering to fight Kazuya in hope to free Natsuki. There were many things she should have done instead. But, here she was with Natsuki in her arms. She had stopped running away like she had done in the past. For a moment, she was cherishing the bond between them, while another part of her was crucifying her for letting herself to go so deep down this dreadful path.
Shizuru's heart stilled for moments to come before she said, "Please do not be afraid of me." Her tone came soft, almost breaking at the nocturnal wind.
"I'm not." Natsuki clutched the vampire's hand, and brought it up to her cheek. She frowned slightly at the cold skin.
Shizuru took her time and stared into the emerald pools. If she could tear at its beauty and scare it away, she would. Helpless to resist the intoxicating innocence in front of her, Shizuru's fingertips slipped to Natsuki's chin, lifting the luminous face up slightly.
"Anything you wish, I will grant it to you," Shizuru murmured.
An empty promise only reminded her of her true self. It was another false hope, which she had given to those who had loved or cared for her. It was just another feigned attempt on her part to dream of the better tomorrow. Compassion. Honesty. Promises. It would take only a second of willpower to release Natsuki, but she knew just how to fake it. It didn't take much from her to ignore Haruka's protest at discovering of Natsuki's loss of powers earlier today. She knew exactly what she wanted, and she knew how to get it.
One could not reach the depth of possessiveness until having experienced it, welcomed it and breathed it. The allure of possession only overwhelmed her deeper each moment she had Natsuki with her. Had a bond between master and slave always been so dangerously enthralling? Her bond with Akane had been brief and bloodied, restricting her from feeding deeper into their connection. However, Natsuki's powers had pulled back her from the dead, granting her the rare chance to remain in her human form after such severe injuries. It was what her body needed now. It was what her soul had hungered for all along. All of this was more than a promise of a kiss—a faux perception of freedom. It was a vampire's walk in the sun.
Crimson eyes narrowed. Nothing seemed to make sense to her anymore. Saeko wasn't the only one who had just wakened from a dream. They all had.
"I won't let anything happen to you," Shizuru swore.
Natsuki guided Shizuru's fingers to her lips and kissed them. She clutched the hand as the vampire's warmth had failed to emerge. "You don't have to be afraid anymore. I'll protect you, Shizuru."
In the dark, Shizuru steadily gazed at the beautiful creature in her arms. "Strange. You're not nearly afraid enough for yourself." She let her own words echo in her mind.
Natsuki's hands dropped and hooked around Shizuru's arms around her waist. "Death shouldn't be as scary as it is. He… My dad was hiding for over a hundred years. Krawczyk, too, for how long I don't even care to count back. They all tried to hide, but it didn't' matter, did it? It still led them to the same end of the road. It was meaningless…" She let out a long sigh. "I don't remember my father being happy all that much. And, I seriously don't want to end up like him. I'd rather have one moment of happiness than to live forever with nothingness."
Crimson gaze spontaneously lowered. Shizuru found herself one of the frightened souls. Even worse than Kazuya and Hideaki, she had no one—no home of her own. For being what she was, she was all alone for most of her life. But, the young Lycan had brutally pulled her out of her hole and exposed her to a whole new world. A new life so dangerous, yet more alive than ever. In a long time, she had felt a connection with another being. For the first time in her life, she wasn't just a myth. She existed. After thousands of years, she simply could not let it go like a mortal desire.
Shizuru lifted her hand and touched Natsuki's chin, tenderly turning the woman's face to her. It seemed as though they had an eternity waiting, but not the time to be with each other. "When one is delighted, the other suffers. Everything always costs something, Natsuki."
Natsuki gazed blankly into crimson, but Shizuru grew unsure of what was going through the Lycan's mind. Their body stilled. Their gazes were intense, heated and seeking. Their cold and warm breaths fused into one, caressing their faces. Perhaps, Natsuki was willing to embrace their bond despite her own expenses. Perhaps, Natsuki was contemplating of the consequences now. Was she starting to be afraid? Would she learn to detest their bond the longer it develops? But, whatever Natsuki would ask of her, Shizuru knew only one answer.
You belong to me.