A/N: As promised the second part to the abstinence talk.

And I guess I have to say this as much as it hurts me I don't own these characters. They are all Stephanie Meyers creation. I just like playing with them.

EPOV

"Edward, can we have a minute?" Theresa asked as I walked towards the dining room.

"Not now, I just really want to get this over with." I replied walking past her.

"Edward please," Theresa said grabbing my hand.

Wow, his hands are so cold, so firm and cold, maybe he needs me to warm him up

"Edward, I had this dream about you last night; you and I." She continued to explain. "I've felt like there is this connection between us." She placed her hand on my chest cornering me.

I could have easily gotten past her, but then there would probably be more explaining. To my relief Alice and Jasper silently came up behind her.

Wow, can you feel the lust, Edward you have an admirer. Sorry, Alice saw this happening after you left, we just thought it would be funny to sit back and watch you squirm. Thanks Jazz, I thought however thankful they had thwarted Theresa's plans.

"Is everything okay?" Alice chirped causing Theresa to jump.

"Oh, umm…Edward here was just explaining he was nervous about talking to everyone about his relationships. He told me to feel how quickly his heart was beating." Theresa explained.

I could hear everyone in the dining room as well as Emmett and Rose upstairs laughing. Jasper was trying not to burst into laughter as he frantically tried to calm everyone else down. Alice just looked over at Theresa and smiled.

"That's good." She smiled. "I was thinking you were some kind of sick demented individual like your husband."

Theresa's jaw dropped open.

How does she know what Tim's like? Did she know what my true intentions were?

The three of us walked out of the room hoping this put her in her place.

Theresa composed herself and reentered the room.

"Well, since Edward was just showing me how nervous he was" Theresa said as we all tried to control our laughter. "Why don't we discuss your life Bella."

I watched Bella pause trying not to burst into laughter. "Okay, what do you want to know she asked."

"Well Edward explained your attempted suicide to me, was that related to a guy?" She asked Bella.

"No." Bella replied not divulging any other information.

"I know this is off the subject but what happened that day?" Theresa asked as I sat back curious to hear what sort of story Bella would concoct.

"I jumped off a cliff, Jake saved me." she said flatly.

"Oh Bella, don't forget how we saved Edward." Alice added.

"You saved Edward?" Theresa asked her confusion again increasing.

"Yeah, my dumb ass brother decided he couldn't live if Bella was dead." Jasper said laughing.

"If it weren't for you I would never have left Bella." I retorted quickly realizing this situation was getting out of hand.

"Edward." Both Alice and Bella yelled at me.

"Sorry that was uncalled for." I apologized to Jasper. I really didn't blame him for the events of Bella's birthday.

He couldn't live without her? But I thought her and Jake? What's this about her and Jasper? I mean she's pretty but to attract all of these guys? Total Slut! Who would want her she obviously has some sort of mental defect. Who would die for someone?

If only she knew Bella did die for me.

"Edward, is this true?" Theresa asked.

"Yes, but I obviously didn't go through with it and it brought me back to Bella." I said grabbing Bella's hand. If everyone else was hooking up why couldn't we.

"So Bella, what happened between you and Jasper?" Theresa asked.

"Well, umm…" Bella started trying to describe what had happened.

"Bella was still kind of new to the family and I knew her and Edward were starting to have feelings but I made a move on her." Jasper explained.

Hmmm is that what were calling it now? I'll have to apologize to Esme for making a move on that Elk the other day.

I looked over at Carlisle as we both tried not to burst into laughter.

"But I rejected him." Bella explained.

"Okay, so Bella you and Edward are together now?" Theresa asked.

"Yes." We both responded in unison.

"So I take it since Jasper was hitting on you, you two have been together longer than them?"

"Yes."

"So are you two sexually active?" Theresa asked and I decided to be quiet and see where Bella took this.

"No." Bella said sadly. Theresa let out a sigh of relief until Bella finished her sentence. "No, Edward won't sleep with me."

The past was coming back to haunt me, all those time's I had told Bella no, all those boundaries I made. I felt like it was four years ago all over again.

"Bella, it's not that I don't want to sleep with you." I said remembering all the conversations of our past. "I just don't want to hurt you."

"Oh Edward, you won't hurt me, you would never hurt me." Bella said in the most dramatically exaggerated voice.

"I don't know you could get pregnant." Nessie giggled.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen." I exclaimed probably sounding a little too fatherly.

"Renesmee is right." Theresa agreed. "Bella, you are far too young to worry about having children."

She paused for a moment. I caught her thought and knew it was going to drive Bella crazy.

"Nessie, where is your baby." Theresa asked.

"Well I would think you would know considering you have been watching me like a hawk but I am having Rose baby-sit." Nessie replied sarcastically.

"Go get her." Theresa demanded.

Nessie went upstairs to get the baby. Bella glanced over to me as if to ask what was happening. I was scared to tell her so I just shrugged my shoulders and squeezed her hand.

Edward Anthony Mason Cullen you tell me right now what the hell this bitch is up to.

Wow, I was so mesmerized by her lifting her shield I didn't even care what she was saying to me, besides she's cute when she's angry.

"Her mind is too hard to read right now, she's being indecisive." I whispered low enough only Bella would hear. I hated lying to her but I honestly wanted to see her reaction.

Daddy, can you please talk to Uncle Emmett, I never want to see that again.

Nessie looked at me cradling her baby she had come to love. I didn't have to ask to know she had found Emmett and Rose in a compromising situation. I let out a low growl of frustration and looked apologetically at my daughter.

It wasn't that bad they weren't naked or anything, just…ick.

I smiled at the realization that my little girl was not fully grown. Bella glanced over at me wondering what had happened.

"Emmett." I whispered silently under my breath. She didn't have time to respond.

"Bella, I think that your desire to have a child is sick." Theresa said.

"I don't want a child!" Bella yelled.

"What?" Nessie sounded shocked. Bella looked over to Nessie. We all knew Nessie was just playing along but I could tell Bella was upset she had just said that.

"You don't want Kadidu?" Nessie asked quietly looking at Bella.

Alice and Jasper were practically on the floor laughing Carlisle once again had his head in his hands.

"No, I LOVE Kadidu." Bella said reassuringly.

"Good," Theresa smiled. "You can take care of Kadidu for the rest of the week."

"Your going to be a great mother." Nessie smiled as she passed Kadidu over to Bella. I had to agree.

"What's Kadidu mean?" Bella asked looking down at the baby.

"Dog" Jake said bursting into laughter.

"What, you named your child dog?" Bella exclaimed.

"I just thought it sounded pretty." Nessie said defensively. We all knew differently but it would be hard to explain to Theresa that Jake was really a dog; Okay technically wolf same difference right? and our daughter was in love with him.

"Well Edward, I guess your new daughter's name is dog." Bella giggled.

"Hey congratulations you're a father now!" Jake laughed.

"Can we be done here?" I asked looking at Carlisle.

"Yes." He said quickly not waiting for Theresa's response.

"Wait," Bella stopped us from leaving. "Since Edward and I have a baby together can we share a bedroom."

"Out!" I was shocked by Carlisle's reaction. Maybe we had put him through too much.