Over the next week Maddie sunk deeper and deeper in to depression about the baby, I visited there house about every other day and she had bags under her lifeless eyes. She would sit at the table with me and Ed when I came over to see them but she would stare of into the distance without focusing at all on what was happening around her if she saw something that reminded her at all of the baby she would burst into tears and run out of the room to the nursery which had been decorated for the baby that I found out the found out was a girl just before she died. They had a grave marker made and put in the local cemetery with the name they had given her after she died: Angel Ann Gardiner. One of the biggest problems that I thought was stopping Maddie from getting better was that almost everything reminded her of the baby, I had talked to Ed about it and we had come to the conclusion that they either needed to move or just get away for a while, a long while- somewhere Maddie could heal and forget about the death.
But, even with the misery and gloom that I seemed to bring home with me every time I visited Ed and Maddie Jane was remarkable happy and the reason for it was obvious, Charlie. She had been going out most days even just for a walk with him and it became overly obvious over the next few weeks that he was just as in love with her as before and she just as much with him. The both had blissful grins on the faces whenever I had seen them. I was happy for Jane but I thought I might be looking for a new flat mate sometime soon, which while I was happy for Jane I was dreading at the same time, people who were not as adept as Jane at being there for me and looking for a way to make me happy, who wouldn't help me with my leg most likely and people who would be discussed with it to be sure. As I thought about this all late at night I couldn't stop the dread filling up and overwhelming me. I wasn't ready for Jane to leave me but I knew that if I stopped her she would end up hating me, but the problem was that most of the time Jane will do what she thinks is best for others and not herself without consulting the people she thinks she might hurt if she chooses otherwise. I rolled over and tried unsuccessfully to put it out of my mind so I tossed and turned all night.
The next morning I woke up tired and a little on the grouchy side of things. I also woke up late which meant that Jane had already left for school and I was alone all day to do nothing so I went over to Maddie and Ed's after I had gotten dressed and become accustomed to the light streaming through our living room window, what I wasn't prepared for was the harsh wind that also was present outside of our apartment. I ran back in side and got a coat.
When I got to Maddie's Ed answered the door again and it was painfully obvious that he had been crying for a while, I immediately walked forward and hugged him where he broke down and sobbed, he just stood in my arms and sobbed. I carefully shifted and made him walk back in to the house and sat him down to go back and lock the door.
When I got back I asked what was wrong "My aunt died" he said "And the baby died" he hiccuped "And Maddie almost died" he looked down at his lap like a scolded child "Did I make them die?" he asked almost like he was talking to himself "I should of died when I had cancer but I didn't so now everyone that I love is cursed," he looked up at me "What if Maddie dies next?" he asked.
"Ed, Ed she is not going to die and nor is anyone else you love" I said sitting down beside him, I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and looked up to see Maddie standing at the bottom of the stairs with silent tears running down her face, she ran over and hugged him to her and he held her to him like his life depended on it.
"I would never leave you" she said just loud enough for him to hear and I suddenly felt like I was intruding so I got up quite nodded at Maddie and walked in to the kitchen where I made cookies and was just putting them in the oven when they walked in whispering to each other about who knows what but the both smiled at me and for the first time in ages they both looked somewhat happy even though the bags under their eyes would give away to strangers that something was wrong.
"What's up guys?" I asked
"I told you that my aunt had died right?" Ed asked
"Yes" I said a little warily
"Well she left everything to me and that includes the cottage she lived in most of her life in Wales" he said "and because of the painful memories that are here we thought this was a good opportunity to move for a while and put her life in order, she also left me quite a bit of money so we will be okay financially, and if you came over for amount just to help us get settled, then when you come back you could run the shop and everything for us but we think personally that you are too good for our little café." Ed said
"Lizzie" said Maddie "you have a gift, do us a favor and share it with the world somehow, we could hire someone to work the shop we already have to for the time that we are away for visit Wales with us, Lizzie. There are many parks and things and Ed's aunt lived a couple of minutes from the sea so you could come and look at all the local beaches and apply to a cooking apprenticeship of whatever they call them" she smiled at me and I crumbled at her kind hearted smile and how tempting the offer sounded, learn more of cooking and go to an amazing place isolated from most of the world? Who would say no to that? I defiantly wasn't going to.
"Yes"