A/N: It's been pretty obvious from the beginning that I would have to do a QuilxClaire to make this a full cliché fic. I was pretty hesitant to do so, because there are so many great authors, like Alice laughed (deflate your head now!), writing these. But there are also bad authors. This chapter is aimed at them.

Please go read the submissions for the challenge: They're hilarious!

Haha, finally not one in script form! YES!

Full Moon

CPOV

"Claire, what's your first memory?" my brother figure/father figure/best friend/secret true love Quil asked me.

"Idk, my bff Jill?" He gave me a weird look, so I thought hard. "Well, there was this one time where you took me walking.

"Oh, I remember that!"

Completely Pointless Flashback (QPOV)

I looked my lover in the eyes, and she stared back with her huge blue eyes. I lifted the distance between us and began kissing her deeply. I placed my hands behind her shoulders and pulled her to me. Suddenly, I realized what a public place we were in. You forget these kind of things when you're in love with a two-year-old. I pulled her along with me down the street.

An old lady was further down, and gave me a shocked look. She must have seen the kiss, I thought sheepishly. Just then, she whipped out her phone and dialed a number. "Police!" she cried. I froze. "There's a young man molesting a baby! GAH! I'm on the corner of Elm and…"

Did I mention I hate old ladies?

End Flashback

"I didn't remember that part!" He gave me a look. "So, wanna tell me why you sneak around at night, especially outside my room? It's kind of creepy, even if you are the brother figure in my life."

He took a deep breath. "I'm kind of a…"

"Pervert? Child molester? Escaped convict?" I guessed.

"No! I'm a werewolf!"

"Oh, that's okay then." As long as he wasn't going to kill me or anything, I was fine.

"And you're my true love."

"Sure. And Aunt Bella and Uncle Edward are vampires," I said sarcastically.

"Yep."

Well, that wasn't as much as a shock as I thought it was. C'mon, how did I not notice all these supernatural creatures? How did I not notice that all the guys over in La Push disappeared mysteriously, only to re-emerge from the woods not wearing shirts? How did I not notice my Aunt Bella (family friend, although vampires and werewolves are mortal enemies) was a vampire? I mean, she was always cold, her eyes changed color, she never ate with us, she was inhumanly beautiful… It's like people were just giving me clues! I must be the stupidest human ever.

Quil started making out with me. "Not now, Quil," I waved my hand at him, "I'm thinking." For another hour, I thought about how stupid I was.

When the hour was up, Quil decided to marry me, and of course I got no say in it. Oh well, he was a hot werewolf guy who adored me. Wasn't that enough? I can't wait till I get ticked off about his over-protectiveness and leave him. Yipee!