Dear Nymphadora,
Sorry, I know you hate this name.
How can I start then? I feel stupid calling you Tonks... I'm your mother, after all. Which mother calls her children by their surname? Ted and Remus always called you Dora... well, I'll call you Dora then.
Dear Dora,
You're dead and dead people can't read letters. Well, I'm not sure. I don't know really what dead people do. Before you died I always imagined them still, like statues, in the eternity.
But when you died, I thought that I just couldn't picture you still. Therefore, I'm sure you run, laugh and fly. I'm sure you do.
Dear Dora,
I keep telling everybody that I'm fine. You know, everybody is so daunted in these days, and I don't want people to worry about me. I try to have something to do all the time. I voluntereed to help at St. Mungo's, I go visit Molly Weasley (is her son next to you, Dora?) and I take care of Teddy.
I don't want people to be concerned about me. I don't want people to pity me. I want to act as everything was fine, as I hadn't been ripped of my husband, my daughter and the man my daughter loved (strange, but I hadn't got used to call him 'my son-in-law' that he died).
Dear Dora,
I keep telling myself that I must be strong for Teddy. So I change his nappies, I talk to him and I try to make him laugh, I sing him lullabies and I feed him.
People come see me and ask me how I feel. Even though he has been so busy in these days, Harry Potter has come a lot of times. He actually was the one who told me what had happened at the Battle. He was very kind. I tell him that I'm fine, that Teddy is fine, that everything is fine.
But everything is not so fine, Dora. It's just not fine.
It's not fine that I went to Hogwarts to take your bodies. Last time I had been there it had been for your graduation. I remember your smile, as you tripped over your own feet when you reached Dumbledore to take your degree, as you told me that you wanted to be an Auror, and I told you that it was way too dangerous, and you told me that you didn't care.
It's not fine that I roamed through that Castle, trying to find a sense to what had happened, trying to realise that you had really left me that I encountered the Mirror of Erised. Do you really need me to tell you what I saw?
You and Remus. Yes, even Remus. And, please, if he is close to you, tell him that I didn't really mean all the bad things that I told him when you two got married and when he left you. Tell him that I admire his braveness and strength. I'm so glad that you married him.
But everything is so not fine.
It's not fine that Teddy keeps looking around, like he's actually looking for you and Remus. But he can't find you. And he cries.
It's not fine that I'm supposed to pack up all the things that there are in your and Remus' house. I don't know from where to start. I looked at the two toothbrushers in the bathroom and I cried. I saw all the mess that you had left in the kitchen and I cried. I saw Remus' shirt on the couch and I cried. There was a note on the floor. It was your handwriting 'I'm at the grocery. Coming back soon'. I cried while I was reading. I entered into your room and I saw on the bed table a picture of your wedding day. I took it and I cried.
Everything is so not fine.
I mean, you were young. You were in love. You had just become a mother. You were beautiful, and cheerful and funny. You had a big heart and you always wore it on your sleeve.
And I'm so sorry for all the times we fought and we bickered, because it was such a waste of time. We could have done something different. Talk. Have fun. I don't know, just something different.
And I'm so sorry that I told you off so many times, disapproving your Metamorphogus Abilities, your language, your clumsiness, your job, your husband.
I'm so sorry for all those things I have never told. For not telling you that I was so proud of you. Because you were brave, and you didn't care of what the others thought. Because you fought for what you believed in, because you fought for love, because you loved, Dora, you loved without asking anything back. Because you were full of enthusiasm and ideas, because you used your Metamorphogus Abilities to make people smile, even in those horrible times. I was so proud of you, Dora.
And I am so sorry I have never told you. It's just that, you know, my mother has never really loved me. She always preferred Bella and Narcissa, because they behaved as they were supposed to. I didn't. I don't remember her rocking me, I don't remember her telling me she loved me.
So, it hasn't been easy to be a mother as I had never really had one.
But you were going to be such an amazing mum, Dora. You were perfect. And Remus was a perfect father.
But you have left me and Teddy.
And you have left me in my clean, tidy, gloomy house. Everything is at his place. Ted's socks aren't on the couch, your clothes aren't scattered all over your room. No one laughs, sings, talks aloud. But this will change, Dora. This will change.
I promise. Teddy will live in a cheerful house. The Weasleys are already becoming his second family, you know, and then, after all, he has Harry Potter as godfather! He will have love, caresses, joy.
He won't have you or Remus, though. He will miss you for all his life. I will miss you for all my life.
But we will try to move on. We will try to be happy.
Because I want to see your smile on his face.
Love,
Mum
Andromeda rose her head and she looked at Teddy, who looked back at her.
'We're going to be ok, Teddy. You're going to be ok. I promise' she said, chocking back her tears.
The little boy looked at her again and for a moment, for a very small moment, Andromeda thought she had seen both Dora and Remus' faces on his little face.
'We haven't really lost them after all, have we?' she muttered.
And it almost seemed that Teddy had nodded with a smile.
And death shall have no dominion (...)
When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone
They shall have stars at elbow and foot
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.
Dylan Thomas
A/N Thanks to all the reviewers, especially the new ones. I hope you've liked this chapter as well, which I can only know if you... review!!