Two pairs of worried eyes watched me as I approached the table and took a seat across them. I was not actually sure as to why they were worried; I never did say anything or sound like I was stressed out on the phone call that morning asking my two friends if they were free. I was not going to lie, I was stressed but this lunch at a secluded looking café was anything by talking about what I was stressed about.

"So what's happening with you?" Gina asked casually.

It was a bright and sunny Saturday afternoon. The sunshine was peaking through the branches outside the café and shone over us causing Gina's brown hair to look lighter. Her dark eyes were lighter from the sunlight and revealed the details and different shades of colour in her eyes.

"Nothing really, you know how it is, work, work and more work. You should know because we work together," I chuckled.

She mirrored my actions and chuckled too, "Yes, but you have been slightly aloof for the passed few days."

"Have I?" Gina could always pinpoint the matter because she is insanely observant. "Tom is in New York, you know, gets lonely from time to time."

"About that, Tom usually has you fly wherever he is over the weekend, so you can still be close to each other. Hasn't he booked you a flight yet?"

That was another thing I could not remember. I saw the pattern as soon as I realised that the events that I have written down in my journal has no recognition in my memory bank. All those events that I could not remember were somewhat positive. This was more proof that I could not seem to remember the happy events with Tom. He bought me tickets to see him whenever he was outside of the country filming and I have no recognition of it. He never did as far as my brain could remember. Could this mean that I have not recovered yet from my amnesia? Or is absolutely everything around me pretending that the good things occurred between him and I never happened?

I should not even be asking that sort of a question because those things that were written in my journal were my handwriting and my words yet I had this worried thought that maybe someone set that up so I can feel that something was wrong with me, that I will never get on top of things with my memory. It is a coincidence that I have found and read my journal right after regaining most of my memories and breaking up with Tom. But then again, the universe works that way. The universe probably just wanted to smack me in the face and say, "You foolish girl, you have not remembered everything! Everything comes in time and that includes recovering from amnesia!"

I guess I should have waited to see if my memories would at top notch again and possibly should have opened up to Tom and explain to him what was happening with me. I was actually not sure as to why I did not do that and just felt my negativity towards him without questioning why and throwing him out of my life.

Now I would not be seeing the positive side with him flying me over to New York to be with him.

"No, not this time," I answered while looking at the menu to keep busy.

"That's quite odd," Therese sighed. "Well there is new rumour about you two if you haven't heard yet."

"Yeah? And what is that?" I was still looking at the menu but not really reading. I frowned and pretended that I was having a hard time reading it.

"You two broke up or something."

I looked up at her, "Oh," I paused to say something else, maybe a joke but my mind was not focused on that. How did they know about that already? Could this mean that all the single females of the world would be trying to win a date with him? I gulped at that thought and let go of the menu. My hands were sweating so I shook them about and ignored the sinking feeling in my chest and stomach.

"Tabloids do these sort of things all the time. It's not true but they love the fact that Tom is out there on his own enjoying the New York atmosphere and hoping that a lady would catch his attention. Just for the drama, I suppose, but we know what Tom is like and he's definitely not a dickhead."

I did not blame him if he were to be like that.

"But you don't believe it," Gina said with her eyes slightly squinting as she watched me.

"No, I do. I uh…" I paused as I tried to articulate what I wanted to say. "We uh… just um…" I took a deep breath and looked up at the tiny picture framed on the wall of the café. "Oh uh… we sort of um… the rumours," I gestured and shut my eyes. I could not even form a sentence from my nerves but I hoped they understood from some of the words I uttered.

"What about the rumours?" Therese asked while at the same time Gina gasped.

"You didn't!" Gina cried.

"I did," I placed my elbow on the armrest of the chair and started to fiddle with my lips.

"You ended it?" Therese asked.

I nodded, "At the time I thought it was the right decision."

"You better be telling us what these reasons were and they better be so damn good!" Gina frowned and rested her back on the chair with her arms crossed.

"Just don't hurt me when I say this," I raised my hands out as a defence and when they nodded, I rested my hands on my lap. "All I could remember were negative things that happened between us. Stuff like him not being able to make it because of his work -,"

"But that is not always a bad thing. He has made it up to you," Gina interrupted me.

"That's the thing though. I could not remember him making up to me about anything! It was one bad thing after another, never anything good. So I thought to myself, am I in an abusive relationship? Do I have no respect for myself and have this man treat me like this?" I paused and run my fingers through my hair. "I started to feel uncomfortable around him. He would still do sweet things for me but I kept thinking that because I have recovered and am still classified as someone being sick, he was being good to me. I couldn't shake the fact that all of this would go back to how it was, how my mind could remember it to be like.

I have been in bad relationships before and know how the abuse all starts and combined with my anxiety, everything was being messed about in my head. I started to distance myself from him and he was still being so nice to me. My heart would beat madly about it and the butterflies in my stomach would never stop every time he did a kind gesture or kissed me on my forehead. However those negative, worried thoughts just stayed in my head and constantly poked me. He was so angry with me when I pretended that I remembered everything about him, when he found out, he was furious! I don't blame him, but he was still there and did not dare cut our relationship ties. I think he thought he needed to give me time or maybe he just needed time from all the stress I create for him. It worked well with me to be away from him because I was alone with my thoughts and my thoughts were not good because all I did was analyse what has happened in the past with us. That moment before the car crash is something that I remember so vividly and I did not want that negative event with him to happen again," I sighed.

"So basically you overthinking and creating this illogical mess which caused whatever happened occur between you two," Therese said.

"Yeah. I thought I was fully recovered when I broke up with him. I thought there was nothing left to fight for."

"Until what happened?" Gina asked.

"Until I encountered my journal that night we were supposed to go out. All those happy things that happened were written in there and I was so shocked that I couldn't remember them."

"Every single one?" Gina leaned in.

"Every single one," I repeated, emphasising each word. "He took me to Italy on our anniversary. I don't remember it! Can you believe that? All of a sudden my dark and grey memories started to become messed up and I stopped see Tom as this gloomy man."

They both stared at me in awe.

"I really should go to my doctor about this to find out what's happening with me."

"No you will not!" Therese exclaimed and looked at Gina as if they were thinking the same thing. It would not be the first time though.

"Why? She will know best. Maybe medications might help with it."

"No, just forget the doctor for a minute. You can go to the doctor later," Therese said.

"Why later?" my eyebrows were raised.

"Because you're going to New York and explain what you just told us to Tom," Gina said monotonously.

"What? No way! I broke up with him. He won't see me at all!"

"Yes he will because he still loves you, if he didn't, we'd be hearing about all the clubbing and girls he's been doing," Therese explained.

"And you're still considered as sick, I mean, come on, your arm!" Gina gestured. "So he will pay some attention to you."

"If he doesn't just play the fainting game," Therese smiled.

"Or call him constantly, that could work too," Gina and Therese laughed leaving me quite anxious and indecisive about all of this.

I was not going. That was so ridiculous! It was something that would be in a romantic movie. It was such a dramatic gesture. I could not do that! I had too much pride to do that and fly off to New York. What was I supposed to do there? Stand out his window with a radio blasting some cheesy love song about forgiveness? No, I'd much rather wait till he comes back to the country or never see him at all. I'll just deprive myself from celebrity news watch and movies. I didn't like the movie Thor anyway.

It was another beautiful day on Sunday and I was thinking of heading out to a local park and soak in the much-needed sun I lacked in getting.

My door knocked and I hoped that it was not going to ruin my plans for the day. When I opened the door, I knew my plans were to be ruined because of the two familiar faces at my doorstep.

"You guys missed me already?" I asked looking amused.

"Keep dreaming," Gina replied.

Therese and Gina were both dressed in their running gear which gave me the idea that they must have thought about running around the park and decided to invite me along.

"I was actually thinking about going to the park to run about too, what a coincidence!" I laughed and let them inside.

"Actually, we're not going to run. We're going to be carrying and pushing things out the door," Therese grinned.

"Carry and push what out the door?" I narrowed my eyes at both of them.

"You'll see,' Gina winked and they both bolted into my bedroom.

I ran after them. My heart was pounding against my chest in excitement. What sort of thing were they up to? They have already locked the door when I got to my bedroom door. "What are you guys doing?"

"Nothing!" Therese giggled.

My mind was swarmed with many thoughts about what may be behind what they were doing. Maybe they want to go out to a random place? They may be looking for an outfit for a Sunday night outing or they are planning to take me out elsewhere, somewhere that I've always wanted to go to.

When they finally go out of my room, they looked out of breath but both very excited with their large grins plastered on their faces. Gina was holding an overnight bag that was ready to burst out with whatever was in there.

"What's going on?" I asked and hoped for an answer.

"You are," Gina searched through her pocket in her jacket and pulled out a sheet of paper. "Going to New York!"

"No," I muttered.

"Yes!" Therese squealed and started to push me along towards the front door.

"Let's not do this guys! I don't want to go! I'm not even ready!" I wailed.

I was dressed in my black tights and plain white shirt.

"It's the right thing to do Lara, you need to do this."

My chest was bubbling up with intense emotions of anxiety, fear and anticipation. I could not do this. This was not in my comfort zone!

I am so sorry. A lot has happened but it wont be enough of a reason as to why I have not been updating. I'm already writing the next chapter.

Please rate & review.