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Chapter 25

Iris

EPOV

I sat in my car for a moment staring out at the small house I was getting ready to make my way to the front door. The grass was long, there were old tires, tools, and a car covered in overgrown weeds. The house was small and dark. It was obvious no one did any up keep.

I walked up the cracked cement steps and knocked on the white door with the cracked and peeling white paint.

When the door opened, I was greeted by the smell of liquor and stale smoke. The man on the other side was wobbly on his feet. His shirt was stained, and his gut showed slightly at the bottom where it met his pants.

"Hello, I'm Edward Cullen…I'm a friend of Jasper's…I was hoping I could speak to you?" I asked him politely.

The man opened the door for me and stepped aside unsteadily. The place was a mess, old beer cans, dishes, spills that were never cleaned up, and the stench was unbearable.

"What can I do for you? Make it quick," he said sitting back on the couch. I took a seat on the very edge of the couch, not really wanting to sit on it at all.

"Your son, he is very talented, very kind and compassionate. He has this way to connect to people, understand them, and their feelings," I began to tell him.

"And…?" His father questioned me, as if he could care less.

"And….I think it really sucks that his support system consists of his best friend Bella and her mother. I think he could really use a father. I am probably really overstepping my bounds but I just wanted to come here and let you know if you want help, help is available."

"Who are you exactly?" He questioned me, taking a swig of his beer.

"I am the youth group leader at Fountain City Church, sir." I told him.

"Well, I am not looking to be saved, so now that you can say you tried you can see yourself out," he said motioning toward the front door.

I stood to leave feeling like a failure. I stopped and looked at the broken man sitting in front of me. A man who had a wife, had a good job, and at one point had ten fingers. Here he sat, alone. He was lost, but he must still care about his son, right? Didn't he know what a difference he could make in Jaspers life? I took in a deep breath before I began to talk. "Have you ever wondered what marks our time here? If one life can really make an impact on the world? Or if the choices we make matter? Because, I believe they do, and I believe that one man can change many lives... for better or worse. I also believe that the choices you are making are hurting your son."

"Listen kid, I didn't ask for this addiction, I can't control it, it controls me. Like you said Jasper is a good kid, he is almost grown, he doesn't need me anymore."

"That's where you are wrong, Jasper is a good kid, but don't you want him to be great? He needs your support. He needs to know you care, cause right now all he is working for is a ticket out of here. I think he could get much more out of life he was working to make someone proud. We always need support. You may not have asked for this life, but you can control it. You are choosing not to control it by not asking for help…..Look there is this group called Celebrate Recovery at the church every Thursday night, it might be a good place to start." On that note, I walked out.

I watched my feet as I made my way out of the littered lawn, when I nearly slammed right into Jaspers chest.

"What are you doing here?" He asked me defensively.

"I'm sorry Jasper, I don't mean to intrude…I just thought I might be able to help your dad find some meetings or something," I told him.

"Listen, I am not your charity case. I don't need you acting like some god damn guardian angel!" Jasper spit at me. I raised my hands up in surrender and backed up. I wasn't there to fight.

"You are right. You are not a charity case, and I am not an angel. I would like to think that we are friends, and I like to help my friends if I can. I have come to learn that, sometimes, people put up walls, not to keep people away, but to see who cares enough to tear them down."

"I have done fine. I have been fine. I don't need that piece of shit in there!" Jasper yelled pointing at his house.

"Would it be a BAD thing to gain a father? So what if I wasted my time? If he doesn't change, what do you lose?" I questioned him, throwing my arms around. "BUT, if he DOES change, think of what you will gain."

"You have all this faith, all this love, all this fucking hope…I can't afford to have those things. I need to focus on the things I can control. I can't afford to be disappointed." Jasper finished with a loud sigh.

"The only thing wrong with faith, love, and hope is not having them."

There was a short silence before I decided to speak again, "I am leaving for the summer…I think Bella could really use a friend," I told him hoping he would go to her.

Hoping he could go to her.

"Long distance? Not many couples can make that work," Jasper said.

"It won't be easy, but we will be the couple that makes the long distance thing work," I told him confidently.

BPOV

And I'd give up forever to touch you

Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

Cause sooner or later it's over

I just don't want to miss you tonight

Iris, Goo Goo Dolls

It all came too fast. I wasn't ready. I needed more time. The one thing Edward could never give me was more time. It was time for him to go and do his thing, and as much as I was screaming and begging in my mind for him to stay, I would never say it aloud.

He had a job to do and I needed to stop being such a whiny bitch about it. Renee handled Phil's traveling fine and fuck at least my boyfriend wasn't leaving for war or something. I needed to stay optimistic. I needed to keep reminding myself that I can do this, that Edward and I could do this.

I tried my best to not even think about it. It's here now and I didn't think about it cause it hurt too much and now I just wish I had some time to think about it; process the information. I wish I had prepared myself better, but I didn't. How do you prepare for saying goodbye? Even if it is temporary? I let out a shaky breath as I sat in Edwards's house waiting for him to arrive home from work. I didn't want to miss one second with him.

Just then, Edward walked in the door. I jumped up and ran to him preparing to savor every second and to make enough memories to last the summer. I hugged him tightly and all I wanted to do was break down. I wanted to cry and beg him to stay. I forced back the tears and the urge to get on my knees to plead with him to stay.

"How was your day?" I asked into his chest.

"Perfect now that you're in my arms," Edward said before kissing the top of my head. I finally let him go and tried my best to smile at him.

"I need more time," I told him, practically breaking down. "I can't believe you are leaving for Nashville tomorrow," I was trying to be as honest with him as I could.

"I know Angel. I feel the same way. Do you know what Carlisle said to me when I told him how badly I didn't want to leave you?" I shook my head no, "he said, 'Edward, you should be thanking the Lord for giving you someone that makes saying good-bye so difficult.'

"I just feel like this is some sort of turning point or something," I confided in him as he pulled me into his lap on the couch.

"The time is here and it's what I have to do. I need to go; it's more than a job to me. It feels really good to inspire people and help them find their way when there lost simply by singing words that I wrote. All we can do is make the best out of this test we have been given. We have tonight left," Edward told me hugging me closely.

He was leaving at seven o'clock in the morning. Nashville wasn't that far of a drive so they decided to cut some costs and drive.

"It's not forever," I breathed. It had been my mantra the past few days.

"We are going to talk every day," he told me. "Actually I got you something."

"Edward, really you're the one going away, and your birthday is in like two weeks, I should have gotten you something," he just smiled at me.

"Bella, I have you. That's all I could ever ask for," he said kissing me deeply. "Anyway it's nothing big or anything and I have one for you and one for me."

"Let me see," I exclaimed like an impatient child. Edward excused himself and returned with a big frame with a simple red bow tied around it. He handed it to me and I let the ribbon fall to floor as I stared amazed at the picture. It was a picture of Edward and me at his moms wedding. We were dancing outside in the gazebo when we were all alone.

"My mom asked the photograph to snap a picture of us dancing since it was the only time we had to be ourselves the entire night," Edward explained to me. "Bella you looked beautiful that night." Looking at the picture, I nodded because I did look beautiful. I never thought I looked beautiful. I was happier then I had ever been just having told Edward I loved him. It was a beautiful moment and it translated into the photograph perfectly. You could easily tell how in love we were looking into each other's eyes.

"I had one framed for me too, since it was one of the best nights of my life, but I am leaving the framed here at my house. I have a wallet size to bring with me," Edward explained. I reached up and hugged him tightly. I didn't want to cry so soon, but it was pointless to try and stop the tears. I repeated my mantra in my head.

It's not forever. It's not forever. It's not forever.

There came a point where I am not sure if it helped it or made it hurt more because my silent tears turned into sobs and Edward just held me tighter.

"There are no goodbyes here Angel," Edward tried to reassure me. "Where ever we are, you are always in my heart." I nodded into his chest trying to compose myself.

"Talk to me Bella, tell me why this scares you so much?" Edward asked me.

"I guess, I just learned how to love someone who I can see every day and now I have to learn how to keep that love going over long distances. I don't know how or if it will work….what if you change your mind about me and realize you don't need me? Or want me?" I was honest with him, because he deserved my honesty. He has always been straightforward and truthful with me.

"Angel, I love you...I'm not going anywhere, I am here," Edward said pointing to my heart, "Distance doesn't have to change that, and some days will be harder than others, but every day is a day closer to the end. We just have to take this summer one day at time." I calmed myself down and forced myself to hold it together. I didn't want to spend my last night with Edward crying.

"What do you want for dinner?" He asked me.

"I don't really feel like cooking…can we just order in?" I asked him.

"If that's what you want, we can," he told me as he retrieved the delivery menus from the side table drawer. We decided on Chinese and Edward put in one of my favorite movies, Juno.

"I never saw this you know," he told me as he draped his arm around me.

"Not surprised," I told him.

"Yeah, well I saw it and thought of you so I bought it."

"Huh….well I love lots of movies, is this the only one you saw that wasn't rated R?" I teased him.

"I just prefer NOT to watch vulgar language, sex, or gore," Edward defended himself. I laughed and snuggled into his side. After the food arrived and we finished eating I feel asleep in Edwards arms.

I woke up to Edwards fingers lightly tickling my arms. I could feel his hardness pressing against my ass and I pushed back slightly, rubbing against it.

We both let out a moan. I loved nothing more than the sensation of being lightly tickled. I felt Edwards mouth move to my neck and up to my ear.

"I was hoping to do more than sleep my last night home for over three months," he whispered seductively in my ear.

"I am yours, whatever you want," I told him arching myself into him. Edwards's hands moved confidently to my breasts. His skillful hands began to knead my breasts. His fingers trailed down to my stomach and he drew light circles on the surface of my abdomen. Swiftly, Edward pulled my shirt up and over my head, he didn't remove my bra, instead he pulled my left breast out of the cup and pinched my nipple harder than he had ever before. "I'm gonna miss this so much," he breathed heavily into my ear. He trailed kisses down my neck and onto my shoulder, before his hand traveled to my waist. He didn't hesitate when he unbuttoned my jeans with one hand. Once there was room for his hand to fit he slid underneath my underwear and began to stoke me rougher then he normally did, and it was fucking hot.

"God that feels amazing, baby. Ahhhh," I moaned loudly as his fingers moved faster and harder inside of me.

I turned to face him forcing his fingers to withdrawal, but I needed to feel his lips, his tongue, I needed to be closer. I kissed him hard shoving my tongue deep into his mouth, he fought against mine, and grabbed my leg pulling it over his hip. I moved up and down against him creating as much friction as I could.

Edward's hand found the back of my head and he pushed my head harder to his lips. Edward bit down on my bottom lip, and it hurt, in such a good way. I could barley breath and was forced to pull away from his lips, my own felt raw; I even tasted blood from where Edward bit my lip. I licked my bottom lip as I reached down to remove Edward's shirt. "God you are fucking beautiful," I told him in awe. He grabbed me and kissed me hard again. As he kissed me, he unclasped my bra.

"No, you are the Angel," he said releasing my breasts before bringing them to his mouth. His fingers found my jeans and he pushed me back, "Stand up for me," he asked and I happily complied. He sat up, and his hands rested on my hips before he pulled down my jeans along with my underwear, and I let out a gasp. I had never been fully undressed in front of Edward. His eyes bore into mine as I stepped out of the jeans. My entire body felt like it was being lit on fire by his gaze. His eyes traveled up to mine. He licked his lips as his eyes traveled to my breasts, my stomach, and then my center. When his eyes landed on my center, his hands found my ass. He moved forward and kissed my stomach, licked my stomach, and sucked my stomach. I felt his hand reach between my legs from behind, and he stroked my clit the exact way I had showed him months ago. I groaned in pleasure and felt Edward's teeth bite down on my stomach. "Come here," he said lying back on the couch. I climbed on top of him and kissed his lips, his jaw, and his neck as his hands roamed my exposed body. "Come up to me…so I can taste you," Edward breathed heavily. I complied, and positioned myself over his face. I hovered there for a few seconds, and I could feel his breath hitting my center. "So hot," Edward spoke before his hands found my hips and he moved them down so his lips could meet mine.

I felt his tongue move in and out of my wetness. I could hear the erotic noises we began to create. I couldn't help myself when I began to rock my hips as Edward moved his magic tongue inside of me.

I felt my orgasm building and I arched back placing my hands on his thighs as I screamed out in ecstasy.

I didn't waste any time, I moved down to his pants and undid the five buttons of his evil, evil jeans. I moved my hand under the waistband of his boxer briefs and pulled his hard dick out of them. I stroked it a few times before I became overwhelmed with the need to taste him.

I swirled my tongue around the tip of his penis before looking up at him to make sure what I was doing was okay with Edward. He smiled at me and I knew in that moment he wanted his dick in my mouth more than anything.

I moved my mouth over his hardness and began to move slowly down to the base while keeping eye contact with Edward. His green eyes were stunning and I felt like I could get lost inside the pleasure I saw inside of them. "I don't want to come yet," Edward said stopping my mouth from moving up and down his length. I trailed my tongue up his body until I reached his mouth and he began to kiss me sweetly, longingly…and I remembered, this was our goodbye….

"I want to be closer to you," I told him. "I have a condom in my purse," I bit my lip nervously waiting for his response.

"Get it," he told me. I stood from the couch not one bit insecure that I was completely exposed in front of Edward. I bent over making sure my ass was facing in his direction and retrieved the condom. I came back over and handed him the gold wrapped protection. "I don't… I mean I never," he struggled to find the words. I nodded at him my understanding and ripped open the square package. I rolled the condom on him and he maneuvered himself over me.

I could feel him at my entrance as he started longingly into my eyes. He closed his eyes and let out an unsteady breath. "I can't…" he said pained. "I just can't…I'm so sorry," he spoke defeated, as if he failed.

I shook my head and grabbed his face, "Don't…please, don't be sorry. I am not sorry. It's okay." I assured him stroking his face. "Whenever you are ready."

"I feel like such an idiot," he said pulling down the blanket on the back of the couch and wrapping me in it.

I looked up at him, "I love you," I told him honestly. "I didn't mean to pressure you…I don't need sex to feel close to you." He kissed my forehead and held me for the next hour.

God please make this summer go fast.

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