Chapter 26 – A Few Bad Moments

My dad finally came home a week or so after my truck died, but he was still crazy busy at his local precinct, so I still didn't see him much. He paid to have the truck worked on, but the part it needed was expensive, and would take a few more weeks to come in. So, in the meantime, I was stuck getting rides with Mike.

"Good morning, Bella," he said strangely after picking me up. We didn't usually speak much, and when we did, it certainly wasn't as chipper and overly-friendly like the tone he was currently using. It made me uneasy. "I picked you up some coffee, and your favorite Starbucks pastry," he added.

"Um… thank you," I said warily, wondering if he spit in it.

As we drove, he started talking, and he talked so fast and bubbly that I was beginning to get scared. "Okay, what's going on?" I asked when my concerned conscience wouldn't shut up for a moment longer.

"Nothing is going on, why?" he asked with faux innocence. "Can't I just bring you some breakfast without there being something going on?"

"No."

When he came up to the next stop sign, he sat there for a minute, as if he was suddenly lost in thought, and then whatever occurred to him made him turn in the opposite direction.

"Where are we going?" I asked confused.

"I'm kidnapping you," he said casually.

"You're what?" I nearly spat. "Mike, what the hell?"

"Look, I just heard about what's been going on with you, and I feel like shit. I had no idea you were going through such a hard time, so I'm sorry."

"Okay, who told you what?" I asked, getting increasingly angrier the farther away from work we were getting.

"People at the store yesterday were talking about Edward's suicide attempt, and how the Cullens all left town for a while, and whatnot. They said you found him on the verge of death? Shit Bella, it's no wonder you've been like the walking dead lately. I can't believe something so horrible happened to you, and you didn't even tell me."

"Why would I tell you anything?" I asked irritated. "We're not friends. We're not anything!"

"Yeah, well, maybe that's a mistake," he said audaciously. "We used to be really good friends, and it seems to me, you don't have many friends around here left."

"And that's none of your business!"

The fact that random people were talking about Edward's incident was just one more crappy aspect of living in such a small town. I was actually surprised it didn't make the local news.

"Come on, Bella. Please don't get mad. I just wanted to hang out with you for a bit. I know you have your dad and cousin, but sometimes people need to talk to someone outside the situation. I mean, besides those first few days after all that happened, you haven't taken any time off. Have you even seen any of the Cullens since then? I'm just concerned about you."

"Okay, well you can be concerned about me when we're not on our way to work. We're going to be late."

"It'll be fine. I'll just let my dad know we won't be in today."

"What?" I spat. "Like, at all? What the hell happened to you blaming me for all the work we missed last summer, and you needing to be more responsible, and all that shit?"

"Some things are more important. My dad's not going to fire me or you. He will understand after I explain this to him."

"Explain what exactly?" I asked, unclear about what he was actually planning to do.

"We needed a day off. Well, you need a day off, and I'm just making sure you get it."

"Mike, I can't afford to risk this job," I told him.

"Like I just said, it will be fine. Bella, if you don't take a break, you're going to burn out. Trust me. I've never seen you more tense than you've been these past couple weeks. I just can't believe you've been keeping all this bottled up. I know how much you care about Cullen, and I know you must be having the worst time ever, so I'm insisting that you take a break from it all."

"Mike, really. I've been lectured enough by my cousin, and my dad, and everyone else that knows what happened. I don't need it from you too. Can you please just take me to work?"

"No. If you don't come with me now… I'm going to fire you."

"Uh, that's extortion…or blackmail… or something."

He shrugged. "Well, if you want to sue me, go ahead, but today we are relaxing."

As much as I couldn't stand him, and cringed at the idea of going anywhere with him, I found myself keeping my mouth shut, and just going along with it. Perhaps I needed a break more than I was willing to admit.

We spent the next couple hours at the beach, just sitting in the sand, watching the waves crash in. Mike surprisingly didn't suffocate me with his unbearable chatter, or any insufferable nonsense. He just sat with me, and let me enjoy the loud sound of the water as it drowned out all my other thoughts.

Since Edward went away, my silent times alone had been so deafeningly loud, that I could never have even a moment's peace, but out at that beach, with the waves rumbling, and the gulls squawking, I finally couldn't hear the horrors that had been plaguing my mind. It was just… peaceful.

"Thanks for taking me out here. I had forgotten how calming the beach could be," I said sincerely as we headed back to his car.

"Yeah, I always come out here to clear my mind too. Well, you remember that. No matter how tense I feel, this place always seems to soothe it away… at least for a little while."

"Yeah… Maybe I'll make a point to come out here more often."

"I can bring you any time you want," he offered.

"That's nice of you, but…"

"It doesn't have to be a set thing. Just let me know if you ever need a ride out here."

"Uh…"

"Hey, why don't we grab a bite? I'm starving," he said while pointing at our old favorite diner we used to frequent while we were dating.

"Mike, listen… I appreciate you trying to be nice to me and all, but… I think you should just take me home now, if that's okay."

"Okay, but… aren't you hungry? We missed lunch," he said while looking at his watch.

"Yeah, but… coming here was bad enough, we can't have lunch together," I said apologetically.

"Bad enough?" he asked confused.

"Mike… I'm never… we're never going to… be a couple again," I said, realizing that was probably the real reason he was being so nice to me.

"Look, I know you're not in the right place to date right now, especially after what happened to your pseudo-brother-boyfriend, but…"

"I'm pregnant," I told him bluntly, hoping he'd stop whatever he was about to stay. I certainly didn't want him to think there was even the slightest chance for us to ever be together again.

"Oh…" he said in surprise. He looked past me for a moment, and then he looked down at his feet as he roughed up the sand with his shoe. "Yeah… well, I heard a rumor about that."

"You did?" I asked surprised. "If you thought it was a possibility, then why would you even…"

"I know how this may look, but I honestly didn't bring you here for anything like that."

"You didn't?" I asked surprised.

"No. We were once really good friends, remember?"

I shrugged, not really agreeing that we were ever "really good friends", but I didn't feel the need to argue that point.

"It just looked to me like you needed a friend. I promise, that's all this is… And hell, I don't know what the future will bring..."

"But I'm having another guy's baby," I reiterated.

"Okay, so you can't have friends?" he questioned.

"Not if you're still hanging on to the possibility of there being a future for us."

"I'm not hanging on to anything, that's not what I meant; I'm just not closing myself off to any possibilities. All I'm saying is that I know feelings change, and people change, and I have no idea how I will feel in the future or who I will end up with. Could be you, or someone I haven't met yet, or even Rebecca from the produce department."

I raised my brows at him with a smile. "Oh, Rebecca from produce, huh?"

His face immediately reddened with embarrassment. "Yeah, well… I may have a little crush."

It was amazing how relieved I felt from his admission. The truth was that he was right, I did need a friend, and as it stood, all my other friends were long gone. If Mike truly understood we didn't have a romantic future, and he was okay with that, and even dating other people, then perhaps I didn't have to hate him so much. Any amount of stress and negativity off my shoulders was definitely welcomed.

…

I didn't think it was possible, but time kept speeding forward. I was still stuck in that horrible moment of the last time I saw Edward, but somehow I kept breathing, and life continued to move on, even without him.

Before I knew it, I was six months into my pregnancy, and hiding it from people outside my family was getting just about impossible. Of course, most people assumed the baby was Mike's, which was frustrating, but understandable at the same time. Nobody knew about my brief relationship with Edward, but even if they had, Edward was gone, and Mike was there – he was always there...

"We may have to get you a bigger uniform soon," he teased me as I clocked in one morning. Even though we had been on friendly terms since our beach excursion, I still felt awkward around him at times, and had to remind myself to not be so irritated by everything he said.

"It is getting a little tight," I admitted. "I think the apron still kind of hides it though. What do you think?" I asked as I turned to the side.

"Eh. You want the truth, or the lie that would probably make you feel better?" Mike asked in a teasing manner.

I forced a laugh since I was sure he was trying to be funny. "Just lie to me."

"Yeah, the apron totally hides the basketball under your shirt."

"Ugh," I whined. "Why am I so big? I still have over three months left."

"Its because you were so thin before. There's no fat to hide it. That's how my sister looked during her pregnancy too."

"Wonderful," I said sarcastically. "Hey, did you change the schedule for me?" I asked as I looked over the calendar hanging there.

"Yeah, you need to get off early today for your doctor appointment. Right?" he asked, just to clarify.

"Yeah. Sorry, I keep messing up the schedule, but I really do appreciate you being so accommodating," I said sincerely.

"Nah, I think it's great that you've been doing so well in school. My dad likes hiring college students anyway. Makes him feel like he's contributing to the leaders of tomorrow, or something like that."

"Yeah, but allowing me to cut back to only part time, and working around my doctor appointments. That's asking a lot, so I just want you to know I am grateful."

"You know what, it actually works out, because I was able to hire Jessica to fill in for you, so you guys are both able to work part time for the same cost as one full time employee. With jobs so hard to come by around here, I'm glad I get the chance to give some work to my buddies."

"Yeah, I felt so bad for Jessica when she came in here last month, and talked about how she needed to come home from where she was going to school abroad. She just looked so lost," I said, feeling like I could relate to that feeling. Life post–high school was definitely harder than most of us were expecting.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I can't ever schedule you to work together. Splitting one job means you're never in at the same time, and I know that sort of sucks for you both. You guys are such good friends and never get to spend any time together."

"It is what it is. We are just both happy to have jobs."

"Do you ever wonder what it would be like to leave town? You know, start over somewhere else. I'm sure it would be easy to get jobs in bigger cities. Small towns have so many drawbacks. It's like you can never be anything more than this crap," he said while gesturing towards the store.

I raised my shoulders. "You can leave. I mean, if you hate it here, just go find something else. What's keeping you?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm just afraid to go alone. Maybe if I had someone to share an apartment with, and all that. Who knows. My dad would probably disown me though."

"You have to do what makes you happy," I told him.

"Yeah… Hey, you know what would have been awesome? If you, me, and Jessica found a place together, and just… got away from all this shit," he suggested.

"Uh, in case you forgot," I said while pulling the apron tighter on my ballooned stomach so it was clearly visible.

"Yeah, I know, I just mean it would have been cool, you know, if things were different. Heck, it would still be cool. We can find like a three bedroom, and you could just keep the baby in your room for a while."

"Yeah, I don't think my dad or the Cullens would be cool with me skipping town with their grandbaby," I told him while shaking my head.

"Didn't you just say you have to do what makes you happy?" he pointed out.

"Yeah, you and me are in two entirely different situations. It's not just about me and what I want. I have to consider what's best for my baby."

"So, what is your plan then?" he asked curiously.

"I'm still not sure," I said honestly. "My dad and the Cullens want me to continue to split time between their houses, even after the baby is born, but I just don't know. That sounds so… unsettled."

"But I thought you said you haven't been to the Cullen's house much at all since everything happened, and that you still keep having anxiety issues every time you even think about going there?" he questioned.

"I know," I said quietly. "I'm working on it… but they understand. They've been coming to see me at my dad's house since they've been back in town, and Esme takes me to all my doctor appointments, but they're still hoping I'll be able to stay there again soon. So… I guess we will just have to wait and see."

"Well, like I said before, just let me know if there's anything I can do to help," he said kindly.

I smiled at him. "Thanks, but I'm already taking advantage of your help with this schedule. I can't ask for anything more than that from you."

"Sure you can. What are friends for?"

"Well, I appreciate it, but I think I'm good for now. It's been a lot better for me since my dad finished his case. The Cullens are home again too, so… I'm doing okay."

"And yet, you're still stretching yourself entirely too thin," he retorted. "You're just as busy as you were over the summer; probably even more-so, since now you have homework on top of your long hours here and at school. You should really cut back a little."

"I'm fine!" I insisted, trying not to get angry. I was so sick and tired of all the lectures. In fact, part of the reason I was staying so busy was to avoid the incessant lecturing from everyone.

Nobody understood. I had to keep moving, otherwise I was sure to drown.

"Okay," Mike said gently, clearly trying to diffuse my oncoming bitterness towards him and his unsolicited advice. "All I'm saying is that it's just about time for another beach trip."

I shook my head no. "I can't miss anymore hours in here than I already am, and with school…"

"I just so happen to know you don't work tomorrow since Jessica asked to take that shift, and there's no school on Saturdays, so no excuses. We need to get out there and decompress."

Without having a good enough reason to get out of it, I reluctantly agreed, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't secretly hope Jessica would call in sick so I'd have to work after all.

The day dragged on, but eventually it was time for my doctor appointment, so I allowed myself to feel some excitement. It was always a good day when I got to see my little peanut. It was truly the pickup I always needed to keep me going.

"Hey sweetheart," Esme said as I got into her car. "How was your day?"

"Boring," I said honestly.

"Well, hopefully it's going to be far less boring here soon. Maybe we will finally get to see the gender," she said eagerly.

"I swear it moves around all the time, but then it just refuses to cooperate for these things," I said with a light laugh.

"Emmett was the same way. He would not open his legs for anything. And then on my last appointment before he was born, we finally saw his little penis. Alice cried and cried. She wanted a sister so badly."

I smiled at her story, but then I couldn't help but think about all the horrors poor little Alice went through not long after that. Emmett was just a few months old when Alice was kidnapped, and after a couple years of torture, she had a little baby boy of her own – A little baby boy that would try to kill himself eighteen years later.

"Bella, honey… are you okay?" Esme asked when she noticed my eyes squeezed shut tightly, as I tried to fight away the violent memory.

"Mm-hmm," I mumbled, and then I tried to force my eyes open. I needed to get my mind off of it, so I tried to think of anything else. "So, how's Emmett doing at school? I hardly see him anymore since he rented that place with Rose to be closer to campus."

"Oh, you probably talk to him more than I do. He is almost as busy as you are with his job and school. I don't know how he and Rose even have time to spend together. But I do know he's been meaning to head over here to take you to lunch."

"Me?" I asked surprised. "That's sweet, but why?"

"Are you kidding? He misses you like crazy. You've always been a sister to him. Of course he loves Alice, and all, but they had a hard time connecting. Not like he always has with you, anyway. Besides, he hasn't seen you with your big belly yet. It seemed to really pop out these past few weeks."

"I know, I feel huge all of a sudden," I agreed.

"Oh sweetheart, you're only going to get bigger."

"Ugh," I moaned playfully.

When the baby refused to cooperate and we still couldn't see the gender, I figured it was probably for the best. Alice wouldn't be home from Canada for several more weeks, and I knew she'd love to find out that surprise right along with us, so I was happy to wait for it as well.

After Esme dropped me off back at Charlie's house, I got dinner prepared and in the oven, and as I waited for my dad and Jasper to get home, I did my homework. I actually had quite a bit of it for the week, so I wasn't about to put it off until the last minute. I was only taking a couple General Ed courses, so it shouldn't have been overwhelming, but I was still struggling with it all. My nightmares continued to keep me awake most nights, so I found it incredibly hard to concentrate, therefore my grades were suffering. I wasn't failing, but I definitely wasn't doing as well as I should have been.

That night my nightmares were at their bloody worst, and I was pretty burned out the next day, so I was happy to have an excuse to get out of the beach with Mike, but I should have known he wouldn't give up that easily…

"So, since you bailed on my yesterday, I'm forcing you to come out with me today," Mike said as I was finishing my work shift that Sunday afternoon.

"I still have way too much homework" I told him unwavering.

"The beach is fifteen minutes away, and I already packed a picnic lunch. You have to eat, especially for that baby," he said, refusing to back down.

"Mike…"

"Don't 'Mike' me. We need to go, even if it's only for a little bit. Come on. Clock out and get your coat."

It wasn't my first time going back to the beach with him since we decided we could be friends, but I never really felt comfortable with it, and I always tried to find ways to get out of it. However, it seemed that particular time, I was stuck.

Mike packed all my favorite snacks, and a sandwich he knew I'd like, and then we sat there and watched the waves for a while. He seemed to thoroughly enjoy himself as he kept blabbing on and on about a bunch of crap that I was regretfully not listening to. I wasn't trying to be rude, but it was hard for me to focus on his problems when I had a million things on my mind.

Finally, after an hour and a half, he agreed to take me back to the store, so I could grab my truck and go home.

"Thank you, for forcing me out today," I said graciously as he walked me to where I was parked. "Sorry I wasn't better company "

"Nah, I had a blast. I think we should make a habit out of it. Once a week. We can do every Sunday afternoon."

"Uh, there's no way I can commit to that," I said while opening my truck door.

"Okay, but at least once a month," he suggested.

I shrugged. "Maybe. We will have to play it by ear."

He nodded. "Okay. Well, we will plan something in a few weeks then."

"Okay, great. I don't work again until Wednesday, so I'll see you then," I told him while turning to my opened truck door so I could get in.

"Bella, wait," Mike said, and then everything was a blur as he grabbed ahold of me, and kissed me hard and fast.

I didn't even realize what was happening until I heard someone say "What the fuck?"

His lips were only on mine for a second, but it was enough to change everything. I pulled back, and turned to see Emmett standing there looking seriously pissed, and then I felt all the heat rush from my face. He quickly turned and stormed away, so I tried to follow him, but Mike grabbed my arm.

"Bella, I need you to know…"

But he didn't have time to finish his words because I quickly punched him on the jaw - which I was sure only hurt me more than him. "What the hell, Mike!" I shouted, just as I saw Emmett's car speeding out of the parking lot. "Damn it!" I screamed. "Why did you do that? Why couldn't you just be my friend like you said you would?" I cried.

"I am your friend, but I love you. I love you so much, and no matter how hard I try, I cant turn it off. You're freaking pregnant with some other guy's baby, and I don't care. Bella, I promise you, I will love that baby like it's my own."

I shook my head angrily, so he added – "Look, if you're still not ready, I understand, but someday… someday you might be, and I'm going to be here waiting for you."

"I thought you understood," I said with a huff. "It doesn't matter how much time goes by, I'll still always… wish Edward was here with me. Even if he never came back, it just wouldn't be fair to anyone else, so I'm not dating at all. You said you understood that. You said you just wanted to be my friend. I needed a friend, Mike! Now it's all just ruined," I said with tears streaming down my face.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I won't do that again. I just thought maybe you were feeling it too. We will just forget it ever happened, okay?"

I shook my head. "I cant," I said before getting into my truck, and driving as fast as legally possible to see if I could catch up with Emmett.

He may have been like a brother to me, but Em loved Edward with a fierceness, and he was the only person in our family that was confident we were going to end up together. I didn't share in his optimism that Edward would even ever come home at all, but I hated knowing he got the wrong idea from what he saw, and I was determined to explain what really happened.

The truth was that Edward didn't want me, and he was gone, and I was single, so if I wanted to kiss someone I had every right to, but that didn't change the fact that I absolutely hated the idea of Emmett even thinking that was something I wanted to do. Maybe a part of me needed Em's unyielding faith in Edward's love for me, because he was the only one who had it left, and he was the only one who gave me even the slightest sliver of hope, but I knew that was all washed away in that one stupid moment. I suppose my life was always going to be defined in horrible moments, and it just made me sick.

But the worst part of it all was knowing it was, once again, entirely my fault. I should have known Mike would do something like that. I knew he still had feelings for me, but I was living in such denial because I was so desperate for a friend, any friend, and it came back to bite me in the ass.

Why did I keep putting myself in those horrible situations?

I only wished that horrible situation was the worst one I found that day.

My mind was so clouded by what had just happened, that I didn't notice the stop sign until it was too late. The last thing I saw before everything went dark, was the front of a full size van as it slammed hard into the side of my truck...

…

***A/N: This is me hiding from all your rotten tomatoes. Lol. I know this chapter probably made a lot of people angry, but try to have a little faith. Some things are necessary for story and character development ;-)

Thanks!