When we arrived at his place I noticed he was nervous. But he wasn't the only. My heart was beating out of my chest. It could happen any minute now. He would say he was in love with me and that he couldn't live without me.

"I need to talk to you." I could feel my hands becoming sweaty and warm.

"Yes."

"I'm in love with someone."

"Okay, who is it?" I asked him already knowing it would be me.

"Your sister, I would like you to set me up with her." It was as if I couldn't move anymore, couldn't speak, I was nailed to the ground. I had just heard him say that he loved me and now he was in love with my sister! He was lying! He has too!

"You know she's in love with Tom." I said softly.

"Yes, but as her sister you can convince her."

"No, I can't." I turned around and walked out of the door, slammed it and walked away, just outside. Degas greeted me but I didn't even noticed. I was just so mad! How could he say something like that? Maybe he was afraid of telling me but still! My sister!?

After a while I arrived at the Seine. There I would sit down and try to stop thinking about what had just happened. Why doesn't he just says the words. I love you. It's simple. Maybe he's afraid of commitment? Why does it have to be so difficult? Why can't I stop thinking about it? People were passing by without noticing the poor girl on the grass. It was already dark when I decided to go back.

Back there I saw my sister, she was carrying all kinds of stuff.

"I'm leaving to Tom, I can stay there. So if you want, you can go back to your place." I was glad for some reason, easier to avoid Toulouse who would never confess how he feels about me how painful that is. I nodded and walked upstairs to Toulouse, to collect my things and leave. I opened the door, I saw him sitting in his chair, holding a bottle of absinth.

"My sister is going to live with Tom." I said as if it was a good explanation why I started to pack everything I had. I got no reaction, he was just sitting there. Before I wanted to leave he suddenly started to speak.

"I'm a fool, I have finally found a good woman who I love and loves me in return and I let her go."

"That's all up to you." I closed the door behind me. I realised he had just confessed his love but it was too late. Besides, it wasn't a real confession. And the worst part, he didn't tried to stop me. He let me go, like he said himself.

My biggest wish was going back to Belgium. If I didn't recieve an answer from my mother.

Dear Jane,

I know you didn't expect me answer you but I did even after your hard and cold words. I'm happy for your sister, I knew she could make it in life but what about you? You are a nobody. You will always be that way. You call me mother? Well I have only one daughter and that's Louisa. Don't expect any kindness from me. I tried to kill her baby because I thought it would only bring her bad luck, I was wrong because it has brought her into the arms of a rich man.

Was my mother serious about this? There goes my only plan, going back to Belgium. Maybe moving to America was option? People were speaking so highly of it. But it was so far away. Besides I didn't had the money to do that.

A knock on my door. I opened it and saw Toulouse. He was drunk, you could tell. Crying.