At last.
You know, I've been working on this fic for almost three years. Crazy, right? I intend to finish it this time.
Goku
We stood at the top of the hill. Behind us, the town was starting to go to sleep, with the lights shutting off and the voices disappearing, but I could still smell dinner lingering in the air, and everything seemed peaceful, for the moment. In front of me, I was looking at a long, flat ocean of darkness—black grass against a dark blue sky. The moon was only half a moon, peeking out from behind some clouds, and the stars looked like scattered handfuls of glittery dust. A cool breeze blew through my hair. I heard it rustle Sanzo's robes. I looked up at him, saw the worried look on his face, barely hidden by calm, and his gold hair flowing back in the wind. He was scowling really bad, and he was smoking kinda' quickly. He'd been through four or five cigarettes since we'd come out here with Kougaiji and Dokugakuji, and it had only been twenty minutes or somethin'. Five cigarettes in twenty minutes was crazy-fast smoking.
I didn't blame him though. I turned to watch the wavering line of dim, orange lights as they moved closer and closer to us. I couldn't see them yet, but I knew that the DethBreed was marching across the field. It was just a matter of time before they were on toppa' us.
Tightly, I clenched my bo and tried to focus. I couldn't be on edge right now. I couldn't be nervous or distracted. I had to be ready for the fight.
On the other side of me, Kougaiji and Dokugakuji were muttering to each other. Something about the way they acted was almost like Hakkai and Gojyo, so I was pretending that they really were Hakkai and Gojyo. Just until the real ones showed up.
"Sure are a lot of them." Pretend Gojyo said.
Pretend Hakkai nodded. "More than I expected."
Sanzo snorted, "What did you expect? That maniac has an army at his disposal—nothing less."
I watched the lights some more. They were freakishly closer. I took a deep breath and tried to count them, but there were just too many. More than a hundred, maybe.
That's a lot. That's way too many…
I tried not to let it scare me, but…that was just so many, and I didn't know if we could do it by ourselves. When we fought the DethBreed in that other town, a few days ago, they almost crushed us, and I wasn't sure why. I played the fight over in my head, again and again, trying to figure out what went wrong exactly, but I didn't know for sure. There were so many—any time we killed one, it was like there were two more to take his place. Even that wasn't a big deal though. The big deal was that they were so…blank. Nothin' hurt 'em. Nothin' scared 'em. You bust 'em up, and they just stood up again. Fighting an enemy like that is really hard.
The scariest part about that though, was that swinging my bo around, breaking heads, wasn't good enough—when your enemy didn't care that you'd just shattered his arm, but that was the only way you knew to fight, what were you supposed to do?
In that last fight, I'd gotten so overwhelmed…it was hard to feel like my way of fighting wasn't good enough.
I shrugged and tested my injured arm. It didn't feel too bad—just sorta' stiff and sore. I wanted to tell myself it wasn't a big deal, but I was already in a bad way, knowing that fighting with my bo wasn't gonna' help much, and I didn't want to think my hurt arm might slow me down. I couldn't afford to get slowed down.
Sanzo looked at me suddenly, "How's your arm?"
"It's okay."
"You'd better be able to fight." He snorted.
"I can."
Pretend Hakkai and Gojyo were looking at me too now, "What happened to your arm?"
"Nothin'."
They glanced at each other. I wondered what they were thinking. I guess, if I was them, I'd be kinda' worried, knowing one of your allies wasn't at their best…
Then again, maybe they were even more worried than I could tell, 'cause Sanzo wasn't at his best either. Nobody was. They didn't want to get killed doing this.
The lights in the field were closer now, and I bit my lip, turned to take a long, hard look over my shoulder. I thought maybe I'd see Hakkai and Gojyo—the real ones—coming toward us, calm and smiling and ready to fight.
They weren't there. They just weren't. Even though I knew they were in the town right behind us, even though I'd seen Hakkai with my own eyes, just a coupla' hours ago, even though I knew they wouldn't wanna' let us down…they just weren't there.
Maybe…maybe they're really not comin'…
I shook the thought away. I didn't want to think that—ever—they were going to show up. They were going to be here soon.
"Don't waste your time." Sanzo said under his breath.
I watched the lights again. They were getting so close—I could smell them now, a weird, half-dead, half-alive smell, kinda' like blood and sweat and rotting flesh, and I could almost hear their footsteps in the grass too, as they climbed the hill.
"They're gonna' show up." I said, almost to myself. "They've gotta'."
"I'm telling you, they won't." Sanzo practically snapped.
"They're in town though. Why wouldn't they-?"
"Goku. Enough."
I gave it up with a sigh, switched my bo back and forth between my hands, took another glance over my shoulder. I turned to look at Kougaiji. "Can I ask ya' somethin'?"
He kept his eyes fixed on that line. "What is it?"
"What made ya' decide to come out here like this? Isn't Ryptcore on your side?"
For a sec, he hesitate, and I saw him glance at Dokugaku, kinda' a weird look, then he said, "Ryptcore isn't on a side, Goku. He believes himself to be everything: the beginning and the end, and I knew when I heard that he'd been unleashed, that as long as he's roaming the world, there'd be no chance for the revival to succeed, no more than there is for you and your friends to restore order to Shangri-La. I knew that, until he's removed, there are no 'sides', there's just us, and him."
"So you're not just helpin' us 'cause you think we're cool?"
He snorted. "Believe me, if he were anyone else, I'd let him trash you, then I'd come and take the sutra."
I didn't believe him at all. I mean, all that stuff about there not bein' any sides right now, and everything, sure, I got that. But I didn't think he'd actually let Ryptcore kill us and then take our sutra. I didn't really get Kougaiji, and I didn't know what he was after, but I knew he wasn't like that. For being a bad guy, he sure was a good guy.
I know a lotta' guys like that.
Again, I checked over my shoulder.
Nothing.
The lights were almost to us. Just a couple more minutes…
When the fight got started, I'd have to make sure I stayed real close to Sanzo; I couldn't get separated from him next—I was terrified of that happening now. We had so many enemies—the whole world was against us—and they were all so strong, and the guys weren't around yet, they were just taking their time about showing up, so it was up to me to make sure Sanzo was okay. Not like I thought I had to protect him but…
I thought about the message Ryptcore had left us in the other town: Ded End. I thought about how he'd killed all those people, and how he'd found that guy who looked like Sanzo, dressed him like a priest, and hung him from a tree. I didn't know everything, but I got that loud and clear.
Yeah. Maybe this time…maybe I do.
It would be really cool if I didn't have to do that all by myself.
One more time, I looked over my shoulder, and this time, I was really, really, really sure they'd be right there.
And they still weren't.
"Stop looking for them." Sanzo hissed. "Keep your eye on the enemy."
Quickly, I turned back to watch the DethBreed. "D'ya' think-"
"Don't ask me about them, Goku. I'm sick of it."
"I wasn't gonna'. I was gonna' ask if ya' think Lei's okay."
"Hmph. How would I know? I don't see why not. As long as she stays in the town-along with all the townspeople—and Ryptcore stays out of it, I don't think there's anything to worry about."
"That's up to us, right? Makin' sure Ryptcore stays out?"
"It's not up to us to protect this place or any of these people. The only reason we're out here is to eliminate distractions. This fight is going to be hard enough without having to worry about a bunch of damn on-lookers getting in the way."
He was right about that. This was going to be a super hard fight. I couldn't help wondering if I was going to do okay the way I was now. Was I going to be enough? I was so strong… Sometimes I could barely believe how seriously strong I was. But these days, it didn't seem like it was enough.
I reached up to touch my diadem, finger tracing over its engraved design.
"Can I ask ya' somethin' else?"
"If it's about them, I'll kill you."
"No. It's about-"
Behind us, there was a loud burst, like a million soda cans popping open all at the same time, and bright, orange light lit up the field so I could see the glowing, emotionless eyes of the DethBreed soldiers that were just a couple yards away now. The ground shook, and I almost fell. A warm wall of wind and the smell of sulfur and fire hit me like a punch in the back of the head.
"What th' heck?! Gah!"
We all spun around as fast as we could.
There was a thick pillar of dark, almost purple smoke rising up out of the town, and a small building that was near our inn was collapsing and burning. I could barely make out the shape of someone standing there against the background of flames: he was tall and bulky with wild hair. He raised his hand and gestured for us to come.
"Ryptcore." Kougaiji snarled, taking a step forward.
"How the hell'd he get there?" I demanded, holding my bo tighter. This was bad.
Ryptcore went on waving for a second or two, and then he turned and disappeared back into the town, and now I could hear screaming and clattering and the sound of breaking glass.
"They're in there. The DethBreed."
This was so bad. The soldiers who we'd come out to fight were right behind us now, almost on top of us, Ryptcore was in the town, with who knows how many more men, and they were tearing it up in there, probably killing people and destroying everything they came across.
"Dammit!" Sanzo shouted. "It was a trick all along!"
I heard rushing footsteps right behind me, turned just in time to see a handful of soldiers surge toward us.
"Crap!" I twirled my bo and smacked them, knocking them back, but I knew they weren't dead.
More came at us. Sanzo fired off a few shots and I focused on forcing back the ones that attacked me. Kougaiji and Dokugakuji started fighting too, side-by-side. The soldiers didn't even scream when we hit them or killed them.
"What now?" I called, when I had a moment.
Sanzo shook his head angrily, "We have to go after that lunatic. It's the only way to ever make this madness stop."
A really crazy-looking youkai with wild eyes and foam on his mouth tried to claw me open. I smashed his face, and he fell back, gurgling. "Yeah, how're we gonna' do that? We gotta' deal with these guys." And now that they were all here, I was pretty sure there were more than a hundred, and that meant it was going to take a really long time to get rid of them all. Who knew what Ryptcore would do in the meantime?
I thought about Lei and the guys, and all the villagers, and Deshi…I thought about the other towns Ryptcore had destroyed….especially the last one, where he piled up the dead people in a bloody, grody heap and just left 'em there. I couldn't let that happen again. I couldn't let anything happen to my friends. I couldn't let Ryptcore get away with the crazy shit he'd been doing.
I couldn't leave Sanzo.
So what should I do? What could I do? I felt so helpless and useless—I had no idea what to do now: this problem was too big for me to solve all at once, but I couldn't just do nothing… As I busted in another freak-soldier's face, I thought about my diadem again, wondered if maybe, just maybe, that other part of me might be good enough and strong enough to figure all this out.
I beat down another youkai with a stiff blow.
I don't wanna' do that…I don't wanna' be that.
"Sanzo…" I said, a little desperately, moved closer to him. "What should we do?"
He was grimacing, firing off shot after shot, flooring the soldiers around him. He ran out of bullets, pistol-whipped the next soldier who came at him, and stepped out of range to reload his gun. "Like I said." His voice was tight and strange. It made me want to ask if he was okay. "We have to go after that freak."
"Yeah, but how?"
"I don't know, Goku." He snapped.
Kougaiji finished knocking a guy into next century and then moved closer to us, "We'll cover you."
I stopped to gawk at him, almost got my face scraped off, and had to remind myself to pay attention.
"Why would you do that?" Sanzo scoffed.
"As I said earlier, we're all in this together, and I think the best thing we can do is try to face Ryptcore all together—the four of us, and your other friends too—that's the only way we're going to beat him. So Dokugakuji and I will cover for the two of you while you hunt down Ryptcore; we know that the rest of your team is in this town, and I'm sure they'll come to help you, at some point. In the meantime, we'll finish off this group and join you. It's the only thing that makes sense."
I listened to him as I fought, cracked another skull and felt blood splash the front of my shirt. "Yeah, but, isn't that really dangerous for ya'? Dealing with all these freaks by yourself?"
"No more dangerous than it'll be for the two of you to go after Ryptcore."
"So then shouldn't we stay together?"
"We don't have time." He glared at me, "While we're out here debating about it, he's in there killing innocent people. So now." Suddenly, the two of them were between us and the DethBreed. Kougaiji snapped the neck of the guy I'd been fighting and said, way too calmly, "Get going, before it's too late."
I stopped to look at Sanzo.
He was watching Kougaiji with an unreadable expression. "We don't have a lot of time to wait for you." Was all he said.
"I don't think this will take us very long." Dokugakuji snorted suddenly. "There aren't that many."
Kougaiji smiled at us, "We'll be there as soon as we're done with this."
Sanzo growled, "You'd better hurry then—those other idiots aren't showing up." Then he turned and started running back toward the town. "Goku! Let's go!"
I hesitated a second, wondering if I should say something to Kougaiji, but they were already back to fighting, and I didn't want to distract them, so I just said, "You guys be careful." And then I ran after Sanzo, dashed through the grass and the dark, plunged into the shadows of the town, where I could hear agonized screaming and smell the reek of death.
Already the place was trashed. Buildings were broken into, doors ripped right off their hinges, windows smashed. The fire was spreading, slowly, but we broke through a wall of flames and kept running, rounded a corner to where it was cool and dark again. Everywhere, people were screaming and running, crazy members of the DethBreed chasing humans around, grabbing at them, tearing at them with their nails and ripping their throats out. I saw them everywhere—in the houses, on top of the buildings, on every street, lining every wall. We had to break through them and fight them off at every corner. Through it all, I thought I heard Ryptcore laughing hysterically, his voice louder than everything else around us, and sometimes, I think I saw him ahead of us, and then he'd duck around a corner, tall guys with weapons and armor right behind him.
I watched for Hakkai and Gojyo, thinking they'd show up at any second now, but they weren't around anywhere, and now I didn't have Kougaiji and Dokugakuji to pretend they were Hakkai and Gojyo. I felt so nervous, it was worse than being hungry. My stomach felt like it was in knots, my chest hurt from the pound of my heart, and my mouth was dry. What now? What if I lost Sanzo? What if I let him down? It was just the two of us… What if the guys didn't come at all, ever? What if Kougaiji and Dokugakuji didn't catch up to us?
What if the guys don't come…?
Could we do this by ourselves?
"Sanzo? What's the plan?"
He didn't answer me. I saw how dark and hard his eyes were and how deep his frown was. I didn't know if I'd ever seen him look so…
"Sanzo?"
"We confront Ryptcore."
"Yeah, and then?"
He shook his head, and I'd never seen him look so unsure before. I was so used to him being confident all the time. "I don't know, Goku. At this point…I really don't know."
I was quiet for a long time. Sanzo always knew what to do, no matter how bad things were. He always knew exactly what to do, and it scared the crap out of me to hear that this time he had no idea…
We were close to the middle of the town now. Ryptcore's crazy laughter was louder than ever. I noticed how narrow the streets were, how close to me the walls seemed to be, and I felt even worse about the situation. If it came down to a fight now, it would be really, really crowded and hard to move.
A few steps ahead of Sanzo, I tore around a corner, slid to a sudden stop, and Sanzo bumped into me, almost knocking me down.
Ryptcore was just standing there, looking crazy. His eyes were shining blood-red, his hair was matted and tangled. The last couple times I saw him, he was wearing some armor, but now he was just shirtless, and I could see all the old wounds he'd gotten from fighting us last time. No one had done anything about them, so they were half-healed, oozing and sorta' dirty, but he didn't look like they bothered him. He had the creepiest smile on his face.
There was a wall of men behind him—so many blank, freaky faces, I couldn't even guess how many—rows and rows of them, crammed together like sardines, and there were more in the alleys on either side of us to, blocking them up so we couldn't go through if we wanted to. I turned around to see a bunch more filing in behind us. My heart was pounding like a drum. There were just too many.
"Well, Sanzo." Ryptcore said, his icy voice almost soft. "Here we all are."
Sanzo pointed his gun right at Ryptcore and said, "I'll give you one chance to give it up before I kill you." But he sounded tired, and he looked pale and nervous.
Ryptcore laughed at him, "You sound completely demoralized, my little friend. Don't tell me our little game is starting to wear you out?"
Worriedly, I looked up at Sanzo again. Was he worn out? He totally looked like he could be.
"A lot has happened." Ryptcore said, moving forward, positioning himself for the fight, and I held my bo tighter, getting ready too. "A lot has gone wrong. And where is the rest of your team? They didn't really abandon you, did they?"
"'Course not!" I shouted. "They're gonna' be here any minute now, and the four of us are gonna' kick your ass!"
Ryptcore's booming laugh echoed through the streets, and everything else was quiet. "Of course they are. Those two freaks couldn't stay out of this fight if they wanted to. Even if they don't show up on their own time, my men will drag them here, as soon as they find them." He leveled a really nasty look on Sanzo, "I want to make sure your team is all together to watch what I do to you, Genjyo Sanzo."
Sanzo didn't bother saying anything, and I saw that his hand was shaking just a little.
"Don't tell me you're scared, Sanzo."
"We ain't scared of ya', ugly-face." I shot back. "Why don't'cha' quit your talking and let's get going?"
"I can't blame you if you're scared, little priest. This is your last night alive."
I didn't think Sanzo was scared—he didn't really look scared—but he was definitely upset. Maybe because of the stuff Ryptcore said. Or maybe just 'cause of everything that had happened in the last couple of weeks. Maybe because the guys hadn't come yet.
That all upset me too.
Again, I checked the faces around me, looking for anyone I knew, but I was surrounded by enemies.
"Aren't you excited?" Rytpcore hissed, coming in closer, and I shifted my stance. "Death is the final boundary within mortality; when you die, you'll finally be able to test the truth behind that religion of yours. It almost makes me jealous—an immortal creature such as myself will never understand the profoundness of a moment like this one."
He couldn't really be immortal, could he? There was just no way.
"Just shut up." Sanzo growled suddenly, and it was really good to hear his voice. "Are we going to do this or not?"
With another laugh, Ryptcore started marching toward us.
I got ready.
Sanzo fired his gun, and Ryptcore dodged it easily. He sprang at us suddenly, and we both had to dodge backward. He hit the ground hard and chased after Sanzo, laughing hysterically and swinging blow after blow, like he was totally out of control. Sanzo fired at him over and over, but he always dodged, and he never stopped laughing.
I rushed him and swung my bo at his head, but he twisted away just in time.
I barely missed knocking his block off.
"Dammit!"
He grabbed the front of my shirt and threw me into Sanzo. The two of us stumbled back into a wall, struggled to get our footing back, dodged out of the way just in time to avoid being smashed by Ryptcore as he slammed against the wall.
"You really shouldn't be too worried." He taunted, going after Sanzo again.
Sanzo fired. This time I saw the bullet go into Ryptcore's arm, but he acted like he didn't even feel it.
"Your friends will come soon—the four of you possess a foolishness that knows no bounds: their loyalty will bring them here, if my men don't."
"You're wrong."
"You think?" Ryptcore lunged at Sanzo, pinning him against the wall, deranged face just inches from his.
Sanzo hit him hard with his pistol and managed to slip away before being torn open.
"Those bastards aren't loyal; they're not coming."
I couldn't believe he'd say that to our enemy. What was wrong with him? He was acting really weird now.
"Don't you want them to come?" Ryptcore demanded, taking another swipe at Sanzo.
I hit him hard, right in the back, and he lurched forward, fell down head over heels, jumping up just a second later. Direct attacks really meant nothing to him.
Sanzo danced out of reach. "I couldn't care less." He fired three more shots.
Ryptcore dodged two and ignored the third when it ripped through his shoulder, blood gushing down his arm and chest. He burst out laughing, "I understand."
I went at him head-on, missed the shot I took at his face, tried to break his knees instead, but he just jumped over my attack.
"You don't want to watch them die. You don't want them to see me rip you apart. You're afraid, Sanzo. Afraid to be weak in front of them, and you definitely don't want to see them being weak. It would be too much for your fragile, little, bleeding heart to handle. Am I right?"
Sanzo just repeated, "You're wrong." He was backing up, not taking any more shots, and I figured he had to reload, moved in to try to cover him.
While we were standing there, right next to each other, he hissed at me, "I have an idea, but I need your help."
"What is it?" I watched Ryptcore prowling toward us, listened to the familiar chink of Sanzo putting bullets in his gun.
"Do you remember what the Makai Tenjyo did to those DethBreed soldiers we fought the other day?"
I remembered exactly how it had torn through them, easily, and left nothing behind. "Yeah."
"I think it could work on this bastard too, but I need time to do it. I won't get a chance if he keeps attacking me."
"I'll buy you some time."
"But." He grabbed my arm before I could dart forward, and gave me a serious look, "You have to stay out of the way."
"Right. So, um. Distract him, but keep some distance between us. Right?"
"If you can." He said stonily. He was staring at the crowd around us now, eyes searching.
"Don't worry, Sanzo. They're coming."
All he did was snort again, "Think you can get that done for me?"
"Sure I'll try ta-"
I squawked and dove to the side, just as Ryptcore came at me, driving the two of us apart and raving, "No more whispering, Sanzo!" He gave Sanzo a vicious kick to the stomach, knocking him flat on his back, and the he pounced at me, roaring, "How would you like to watch Son Goku die?!" His eyes were wide and crazed, and deep inside, I felt a shiver of pure terror started to crawl up my spine.
He attacked me like a total psycho, taking swing after swing, and I blocked and dodged most of them, but with every swing, his claws were just a little closer to slicing me open. I could feel it, right away: This was different. This wasn't like the last two times I fought him, or like the way he'd been fighting just a couple of minutes ago. This was totally not the same. He was trying now, really trying to kill me.
Ryptcore swung at me.
I knocked his attack away with my bo.
His other hand raked across my stomach.
Shouting, I stumbled back against the wall.
He pinned me there and we stood face-to-face.
I heard Sanzo's gun cock, and then Ryptcore was swinging me around by the collar of my cape, putting me right in the way. Four bullets tore right through me—stomach, leg, arm, even my chest.
"Goku!"
Next thing I knew, I was on the ground in a heap, screaming and screaming, blood flowing from every part of me and dripping. My Nyoi-bo was gone.
Ryptcore kicked me.
I flew and hit the wall hard. Bricks crumbled, and I bounced off, rolled to my feet and made a run for it. He landed right where I had just been. If I'd laid there even a split second longer, he'da' crushed my whole body.
I felt something catch onto my cape, and then I was flying again, hit the ground hard.
Ryptcore laughed.
Sanzo was screaming.
It was all I could do to writhe in pain.
"Here I always heard such remarkable things about the Sage who Equals Heaven. What do you say, boys?"
His DethBreed was freakishly quiet.
"That's what I thought too. What a disappointment."
Shouting, I jumped up again, bo in hand. I charged him, jumped up, took three swings—I went for his neck, his face and his chest.
He dodged all three, grabbed me and flipped me up over his head.
I landed on top of Sanzo, and we struggled to get up. He was coughing and moaning like I'd really hurt him.
As soon as I was up again, Ryptcore grabbed a handful of the back of my hair, swinging me around into the arms of his soldiers. He came at me with his claws while they held my arms. I screamed and struggled.
Sanzo was off to the side, firing and firing.
Ryptcore didn't care when the bullets hit him.
The two soldiers who were holding me crumpled to the ground, suddenly.
Sanzo screamed, "Goku, run!"
I dove out of the way, and Ryptcore's claws barely scraped my shin. I felt blood start gushing down over my ankle, scrambled to get to Sanzo's side. He was reloading his gun, hurriedly.
"He's so strong…" I panted.
Sanzo didn't answer. His eyes were wide with fear, and he wouldn't look at me. I knew what he was thinking. I knew he was angry and scared and guilty.
I touched his robe. "Sanzo?"
He didn't say anything still.
Ryptcore was taking his time coming toward us, gloating and bragging and laughing.
"The Makai Tenjyo…" Sanzo muttered. "If I could just use it…"
I looked down at myself, saw how much I was bleeding, and I knew our strategy wasn't working for some reason. He was never going to get to use it at this rate.
The first time we fought Ryptcore, it had been so strange. He'd trashed Gojyo in the blink of an eye—he'd almost killed him—but everybody else got out with just a couple scratches. We were strong enough to run away. There was just no way…
He wasn't messing around this time. He wanted to kill Gojyo the first time we fought, and the only reason he hadn't was because we'd stopped him. Well, now he wanted to kill me, and he would…if I let him.
When he's done with that, he's gonna' kill Sanzo.
No. Just no way. I couldn't let that happen. I'd do anything to keep it from happening.
Anything…
"Sanzo. I can't do it." I murmured.
Ryptcore was closer now. There was no telling when he'd charge at us and keep tearing me apart. He wasn't going to leave me alive much longer.
"You have to try harder." Sanzo barked. "Useless monkey."
"I can't. Not like this. Not when I'm this way."
Sanzo turned his wide-eyed, freaked out stare on me, mouth falling open, "What?"
"There's just no way I'll ever beat him if I ain't using all my strength. He's way, way too strong."
"Goku."
I nodded and spat out a wad of blood, "Mmhm. Yeah, he's way strong. But he's not stronger than me."
"Do you even know what you're saying. You can't do that. Do you understand? It's out of the question."
"If I don't, we're both gonna' get killed."
"Aren't you listening to me?" He grabbed my shoulders, really, really tight, shook me hard, "You have to try harder, Goku! Just distract him for a while and I'll-"
I pulled away from him. I didn't want to. I wanted to grab onto him and hug him as tight as I could. I wanted this nightmare to be over. I didn't want to be that way. I was scared to be—scared of what I was going to do—but I knew it was the only way. It was the only thing I could do to stay alive, or to keep this maniac from killing Sanzo.
Maybe I won't even come back. I ain't like Hakkai…but…I still might not…
Even then, it didn't matter.
Sanzo was screaming at me, "Goku! Are you listening? Just forget about it—that is not the answer!"
Grinning, I looked up at him, "It's okay."
"Okay?! Monkey, have you lost your mind? It is not okay. It's not okay, Goku!"
Wow, he sounded totally nuts now. All this shit was really getting to him, and I think he was starting to really lose it. All the more reason I needed to end this.
I fingered my diadem.
Sanzo grabbed my wrist, "No, Goku!"
"Don't worry, Sanzo. The guys're gonna' show up soon, an' they can help ya' get me under control."
He looked like I slapped him or something. He even stammered. "A-are you fucking with me? Goku. Get it through your head—those assholes aren't coming back. Ever. They're never coming back, Goku!"
"Yeah, they will. They're gonna' be here. I know it."
"You're an idiot! They aren't coming back, because they don't give a shit about what happens to you or me! They ditched us, and they're probably heading back east as we speak, so you might as well just give up on this ridiculous, half-baked, little idea of yours, and pull yourself together."
I didn't think I should bother arguing with him. He was the one falling apart. It wasn't my fault he didn't think the guys were coming back. All I knew was, I didn't have a choice.
In the beginning, I thought that, if the guys came, we'd actually have a chance at this. Ryptcore had never fought all four of us at the same time—he'd never had to—not when we were at our best anyway. I knew that all four of us, at our best, on a real good day, would take him apart like eating pie. Really, yummy pie. But it didn't work out that way. He came along at the worst possible time, when Sanzo and Gojyo were fighting about nothin', and Hakkai was going nuts over some demon woman, and Gojyo started thinking about leaving us to stay with Lei, and now Sanzo was falling apart 'cause he thought they abandoned him. Ryptcore was definitely not facing us at our best, and that was the only reason he could get away with the crap he'd done.
I wasn't stupid. I knew there was no way he was ever going to fight us at our best, because by the time we were all back to one-hundred percent, he was gonna' be dead and gone.
That was why I had to do this. I had to take one for the team—I knew Hakkai and Gojyo would show up, and when they did, the three of them would figure something out, 'cause they always did. We'd defeat Ryptcore. I was sure of it.
I wished Sanzo were sure.
He was still trying to talk me out of it.
Ryptcore was standing back, watching and listening to us.
I touched Sanzo's arm for a sec, "Believe me, Sanzo. They're comin'. You just gotta' hang on until they show up."
It sounded like he sort of choked. "No. No, you stupid monkey. Don't do this. Don't even think about doing this. We can't leave this up to them."
"I think we kinda' hafta'." I let go of him and stepped past him.
I thought he'd keep trying to stop me, but he didn't say anything else. I didn't have to look at him to know how upset he was; I smiled to myself, hoping I'd get to see him again. Hoping I wouldn't go crazy. Hoping I wouldn't kill him.
"I see." Ryptcore sounded almost reverent, "So you're going to face me as your true self, are you? I look forward to having a rematch with the Seiten Taisei."
Instead of answering, I reached up to touch my crown again, smiled back at Sanzo. "See ya' later."
I caught one last glimpse of the horrified look on his face, and the fear shining in his purple eyes.
Then it was off, and I was gone.
Hakkai
The inn was in sight again, and I was feeling considerably anxious, as if something else was going to go wrong before we could so much as reach the front door, so I kept my eyes open for any sign of trouble. I noticed that Gojyo also seemed more than usually alert, and nervous as well, biting on his cigarette and looking all around, off each shoulder, alternately, and behind him, frequently, staring hard into every shadow we passed. We walked by an alley and a stray cat leapt atop a trashcan, startling Gojyo so bad, he jerked back with a soft, animal-like snarl.
Lei pressed lightly against him, and they continued walking, but he stared back over his shoulder for a few extra moments.
He glanced at me suddenly, and I smiled, uttered a quick, reassuring, "It's okay."
Gojyo snorted, "What? Yeah, of course. I'm just tired. What about you? You okay?"
I wasn't surprised he was determined to downplay his nervousness and act tough in front of us, but I was also familiar enough with his mannerisms that I saw it for the front that it was, and I held his gaze until his posture was a little more relaxed.
"Hell…"
"I seem to be doing all right." I answered slowly. "It seems that the further I am from danger, the better I feel."
Gojyo nodded, looking exhausted, "Good."
"It will certainly be nice to finally reach our room, don't you think? I believe it's been nearly twenty-four hours since you slept."
I didn't mention that I too was completely drained from lack of rest, but then again, I hadn't nearly died last night, and I hadn't stumbled into town, bleeding to death, and I felt guilty all over again in knowing the ways he'd suffered for my sake.
"I can hardly believe we'll get there…" he murmured.
"I know exactly what you mean."
Lei looked as if she was asleep on her feet, head leaned on Gojyo's shoulder, eyelids drooping all but closed.
I led the way into the inn where it was warm and the light was soft and comforting, smiled at the desk clerk, then turned toward the stairs.
Behind me, Gojyo cursed and muttered something about stairs, and I answered kindly, "Not far now."
Partway up the staircase, his footsteps ceased to follow, "H-Hakkai…"
I turned back to see him leaning against the wall, slumped against it, expression demoralized, eyes dull and bleary from emotional strain and lack of sleep, skin a shade or two paler than usual, giving all the appearances of being moments from passing out cold, but, in spite of this obvious weakness, he was all but holding Lei up, cradling her against him. His free hand was partially raised, as if the thought had crossed his mind to reach out to me and had promptly changed his mind.
Calmly, I descended the few steps between us and, without a word, pulled him carefully, but firmly, the rest of the way up the staircase. I felt the natural urge to scold him for pushing himself, or to warn him to be more careful from now on, but I knew it was my fault he was like this, so I bit the words back and escorted him to the room I'd checked into, unlocked the door and entered, half-afraid I'd find some terrible enemy awaiting our return.
The room was empty, half-dark, and silent, dry and warm, and had a heavy sense of security to it, so I hardly minded how dirty and shabby it looked, or the fact that there was but one bed, or that the bare, wooden floors creaked beneath us as we entered.
"Huh." Gojyo chuffed, "Never been so happy to be in a shitty motel room in my life."
I pushed him lightly, "You two can take the bed."
He balked immediately, "Yeah? What're you gonna' sleep on?"
"The floor, of course." I didn't want to sleep on the floor, needless to say, when I was tired and downhearted myself, but I took a pile of the extra blankets I'd thought to order earlier and began to arrange a bed for myself there just the same. They were a bit threadbare, but I hardly cared. I couldn't wait to lie down and rest, even if it was just for a handful of minutes.
Jeep swept down from my shoulder and landed on a bedpost, began preening himself.
Gojyo's voice was quiet and sorry, "…You don't hafta' do that, man."
"I don't see any other options, do you? Unless, of course, you have the money to finance an upgrade to a bigger room."
"I…just feel kinda' bad."
"No need. I'm as accustomed to roughing it as you are. Now why don't you just accept my gracious offer? I don't know when the next time you'll see me hand the bed over without a fight in this type of situation is." I added teasingly, "You're lucky I'm not making you play me at cards for it."
Gojyo yawned, heavily. "'Kay…if you insist."
I pushed him again, a little more firmly, "Adamantly."
He kicked off his boots and stretched out, careful of his injuries, and Lei crawled onto the bed next to him, curled up with her back to him, and fell asleep at once.
I went back to making my bed, made sure the door was locked behind us, then produced some of the food I'd purchased for Jeep earlier, sat down at the table to feed him, humming, until he folded his wings and fell asleep in my arms, and only then did I feel a bit of comfort and calm beginning to fill me, went so far as to close my eyes, exhaling deeply, relaxing for what felt like the first time in days.
Gojyo's voice came to me from across the room, "You ain't gonna' go nuts in the middle of the night this time, are you?"
I opened my eyes slowly, wondering at that myself. I felt a bit calmer now, but I still felt tightly wound, and I could feel my youkai instincts as they gnashed their teeth inside of me, chomping at the bit to be released, my unseen claws aching to tear through flesh, tongue thirsty for blood. I wondered if I might fall asleep and have some sort of brutal nightmare, and awake, completely gone, completely set on killing everyone around me, Gojyo and Jeep included. I had told Sanzo that only violent stimulation could set me off, but…what if I was wrong?
"'Kai?"
"Mm. I don't think so. Jade isn't around, and as long as she doesn't appear suddenly, I believe I'll be all right. Probably."
"Don't 'probably' me right now." He murmured, sounding more tired than ever, and even a bit anxious.
I rose, left Jeep curled up on my blankets, and stood over Gojyo, "Don't worry about it, Gojyo. I know that after what happened last night, it's easy to be nervous, but it's been a long, difficult day, and I'd rather you didn't lose sleep over what may or may not happen. I have no intentions of going crazy in the middle of the night, obviously, and though it may sound inexact, that's the best I can do. For now, you'll just have to trust me."
He snorted, "I never said I didn't trust you. It's that bitch I don't trust."
"No, of course not."
Moaning, he turned onto his side, head pillowed against his arm, "Damn..."
"Are your injuries bothering you?"
"No. Not really."
"That's good at least." With any luck, we'd all be in much better shape tomorrow.
I watched him close his eyes, then leaned over to shut off the lamp, "Please try not to worry, Goj; I'm going to handle everything."
"You think so, huh?"
"It simply isn't fair to expect you to do it."
"I'm not that messed up."
"No, but you're tired."
"Not that tired. Maybe we should take turns keeping watch or something. Wake me up in a couple hours, and I'll-"
"Just get some sleep, Gojyo, and don't compel me to knock you out."
He scoffed but relented, "Fine. But if you change your mind, it's cool."
I sat down there on my blankets, leaning against the bed, thought a moment, "You know, you told me once that I don't always have to be tough, as long as you're nearby to watch my back."
"Yeah, you don't." he sounded half asleep now.
"I wonder if I ever explained that it can go both ways with that. I know you're not inclined to look weak in front of anyone, but…I want you to know, I am watching your back, in case, at some point, you do feel the need to express anything less than total strength and indifference, and my opinion of you won't change."
He didn't answer.
I added, "I feel that you're there for me much more often than I am for you, but I don't think it's because you don't experience your share of difficulties or insecurities; rather, I think you're convinced that you have to face them alone. It's very Sanzo-like of you."
Gojyo still didn't say anything, but I knew he wasn't asleep yet.
"I'll always be there for you, Goj."
He reached down, and I felt him grab my shoulder, fist his hand in the fabric of my t-shirt, and I knew it was the only answer I was going to receive.
We were silent a while. His grip slipped away, and I thought he'd fallen asleep, and I was beginning to nod off as well.
Suddenly, his voice came to me again, "Hey, can I ask ya' somethin'?"
"Of course."
"I was gonna' ask you before, but Lei came along, and…"
"What is it?"
"It's…no big deal. Just, that bitch…she's totally convinced that she can get you to do anything she wants, because she reminds you of Kanan."
I was quiet a long while, turning that over in my head. I should have known Jade would come to that assumption, especially after what had happened while we were making love in the woods.
'…you lost someone…what happened to her? Did she die…?'
Still, it was disheartening to think of that. I wondered how true it was—Jade did remind me so much of Kanan, in a very disturbing, confusing sort of way, and I wondered if she might actually have me more wrapped around her finger than I realized. If that were true, everything I'd just said to Gojyo might be invalid.
At last, I answered, and he shifted on the bed like I may have woken him up, "While I certainly wish I could reassure you that it isn't true, I'm afraid that I'm just not sure anymore."
"Yeah, well, even if that's what you think, I ain't given up on you yet. Just…don't kill me for it."
"As I said earlier, I won't let that happen again. For anything."
Perhaps he didn't believe me, or perhaps he would have liked more of a guarantee, because he didn't respond.
I didn't have any guarantees, unfortunately, so in the meantime, I ventured to ask, "You had a question, didn't you?"
"Nn. It's not really a question so much…"
"A concern then?"
He hesitated, and I could sense that he was nervous, or that he didn't want me to think he was weak or afraid, even after what I'd just told him a few minutes ago.
"Dunno'." He said at last, "I mean, if you had to choose between me and getting Kanan back—even just part of her, or just the feeling of being with her—I know you'd pick her. I don't have any beef with that, but…if you kill me 'cause Jade tells you to, then neither of us will be around anymore."
Silence filled the room.
That was a very true statement. Facing the loss of Kanan had been difficult enough, and there had been some days, like the first anniversary of her death, when I didn't think I would have made it through the depression without Gojyo's unyielding optimism and strength and understanding. I had come to the conclusion, eventually, that, at least if I had to soldier through the rest of my life, dealing with Kanan's death and not having her in my life, as much as I wanted her, I had been fortunate enough to come by a very loyal and true and inexpressibly good friend to help me deal with the pain of that loss. It was a strange, almost supernatural trade, in a way, Kanan for Gojyo, but I knew that I could never have found room for both of them in my heart at the same time, and so, in a way…as much as it pained me, everything was as it should be.
To think of a world where I didn't have either of them, where Kanan was still dead, and Gojyo had followed her…
Honestly, I didn't even want to entertain that grim possibility, not for so much as one second.
Last night, I'd almost killed him by my own hand. Now, in the face of these thoughts, I realized how terrible it would have been, how incapable I likely would have been to continue living. I probably would have indulged whole-heartedly in the blackness of my youkai self, just for the sake of avoiding having to deal with what I'd done, the beloved life I'd sponged out with my own claws and teeth.
I shuddered, and the room seemed colder.
I rose suddenly, crossed the room to look out the window, staring at the moon a long while as my heart hammered within me.
Behind me, Gojyo sat up on the bed, and I felt him watching me, soundlessly.
"That's not necessarily true." I said, at last.
"What's not?"
"Obviously, it would be an extremely difficult choice to make, and I'm thankful that such a choice will never affront me, however, it's not necessarily written in stone that I would forsake you out of the belief that I could be with Kanan again, or that I would leave you behind to be near her. I…"
I couldn't bear to finish. My heart was too full, and it was aching. I choked on my words and was silent again, eyes still fixed on the moon.
His voice was forcibly flippant when he answered, "It's cool though, dude. If you did…I'd get it."
"It's not something I wish to dwell on."
"I think it sounds like a pretty easy decision."
I came out of my reverie at once, "Ah, is that so? Well, then you must excuse me—that's my fault—apparently I've failed to accurately convey to you just how important our friendship is."
Or else, he was too dense to really take note of it.
"Kanan meant a lot to you, Hakkai."
"You mean a lot to me, Gojyo. It's a very different type of relationship, it goes without saying, but never-the-less, you are equally irreplaceable in my mind."
He sighed, suddenly, and I heard him lie back down, so I assumed he was reasonably reassured, "Anyway. Not like it matters now, right?"
"No, I suppose not."
Kanan was dead. Gojyo was alive. There wasn't a choice to make, because regardless of what Jade thought, she was not Kanan, and she never could be, particularly not after what she'd done this morning. I already felt a fierce flame of hatred towards her sprouting up deep inside me.
"Go to sleep now." I urged. "None of this matters if we're too exhausted to fight when the time comes."
"Right. 'Night."
"Sleep well."
Soon, I could hear him breathing deeply and regularly.
For some time after that, I stood out the window, still looking out, letting the tiredness in me grow, and my legs began to feel like noodles again, and my eyes began to feel weak and heavy once more. I'd nearly forgotten about my own physical fatigue when Lei met me in the street and told me what happened to Deshi, and from there, I'd been so occupied with attending to the matter and reassuring Gojyo, I hadn't considered how tired I still was. Now, in the dull, darkness of the room, I felt it slipping over me again, and I slowly turned back around to go to bed.
First though, I observed the two Children of Taboo, lying side by side, arms around one another, even though they hadn't laid down that way. I knew, having had the experience myself, that Gojyo generally wound up either pillowed on or wrapped up in the arms of whoever happened to be next to him while he was asleep, depending on who it was. I supposed that subconscious craving for either affection, or merely the desire for physical contact, was insuppressible after he went to sleep.
Again, I felt a wave of tenderness flood through me, and I wished I could somehow go back and make it so that this day, and the events it entailed, simply didn't exist, because I so hated the pain that had been caused him.
As I was standing there, looking at him, I thought I heard footsteps on the far side of the room, just behind me, and then a voice whispered, just as frigid and unfeeling as a blast of winter wind. "You feel too much, my love."
The voice had my heart racing immediately, with despair and fear. I couldn't understand how she'd come to be in the room without opening the door or the window, but it was certainly her presence I felt, and her voice I was hearing, much like the night Sanzo and I had been locked up at the hanyou village.
"On the contrary." I retorted, angrily, "You hardly feel at all, and therefore, any slight consideration for anything would seem like 'too much' for you."
"Do you really think so? Or could it be that my standards are higher—that I know something is worthless when I see it?"
"I think your perception of value is very skewed. Consider what he put himself through to spare me the loss of my sanity."
"Blind heroics. It's selfish, more than anything: he clearly doesn't want to let go of you, doesn't want you to be happy in your freedom as a youkai, because he needs the validation of having you around. Do you know why?"
"You don't know a thing about him."
"It's because he knows just how worthless he is. You take pity on his meaningless existence, and it makes him feel like he might have some purpose in being alive. Naturally he wouldn't want to let you go, in light of that, even if it's the best thing for you."
"Enough." I snapped. "You can't walk into a friendship that's already existed for years and assume to understand it."
"He's simple enough to read, isn't he? That guise of nobility masks selfishness and insecurity."
Angrily, I turned to look for her, but she wasn't there. It was just an empty room with moonlight streaming through the window. I shut the curtains with a snap, telling myself I was imagining things due to a lack of sleep.
Just the same, I felt her, pressing close to me, hands on me, breath blowing over my neck and face, "Don't you want to know? Don't you want to know what I did to him?"
"I'm not interested, even remotely, in that information, Jade."
"He was right, I guess—he has more experience than you—but I think you're a much tenderer lover."
Rage shuddered through me. I would have thrown her off me, if I could have. Still, I wasn't exactly sure why I felt so angry; was I jealous?
"Aside from that, the sight of you doesn't disgust me. You're a full-blooded youkai, after all, and he's nothing but a sickening, little half-human."
"There's more human in me than you realize, Jade."
"Just what do you mean by that?"
I stopped myself just in time, knowing that if she realized I'd been human once, she'd take advantage of the information and use it against me. She already had more than enough to use against me, and I couldn't afford to give her more fodder.
"I understand them, that's all. I can sympathize. I don't detest them as you do, and I don't think they're lesser than we are, and so I don't find it sickening to be human, or partially human."
"Ah, then you're foolish, my love. We are undoubtedly superior, and your friend is the lowest of the low."
Angrier than ever, I growled, "Stop it. I won't tolerate one more word of slander against him."
I heard her laugh, lowly, and it had me glancing around for her again. This time, I thought I could make out the shape of her shadow standing in the corner, hidden by the darkness, eyes sparkling. "I find the two of you so fascinating. I've never seen any two creatures so in love before—I'd like to watch you fuck each other."
"I said stop!" I stormed toward her, fist cocked, but when I reached the corner, there was nothing there, not so much as a coat rack.
Her voice was behind me, calm and mocking, "Tell me. Who's the seme? You're physically stronger, and behave dominantly, but he seems more masculine and doesn't look as delicate."
I whipped around, "I'm warning, you Jade. I've nearly had it with your head games."
"I had such a good time with both of you." Her voice seemed to be coming from everywhere now, "Some time, soon, all of us should have a three-way. How would you like that?"
"Not at all." I snapped my teeth.
"We can kill him when we're done. It will be glorious—the beauty of sex and violence combined into one final showdown."
"You're insane! You can't honestly think I would agree to something so vulgar!"
"The murder? Or the sex?"
"I'm not going to listen to you!" I was almost screaming now.
"But you'll consider it, won't you?" She laughed.
I spent a few minutes pacing around the room, furiously, searching every corner for her. I threw open the bathroom, and then the closet. I even went so far as to look under the bed, accidentally rousing Jeep in the process, and he fluttered up to sit on the edge of the bed. No matter. She wasn't there. She wasn't anywhere.
"What do you want from me? Why won't you just leave me alone?"
I heard her laughing, somewhere above my head, perhaps, "I told you, darling. You fascinate me. Your love for him is clearly nothing but a weakness, but you cleave to it, and you rebuff my efforts in favor of his complaints, so much so, it makes the relationship seem homosexual in nature."
I scoured the ceiling for any sign of her, but there wasn't so much as a lock of black hair.
"I can't say I'm not jealous."
"Stop this nonsense and come out and talk to me face-to-face." I ordered.
Her voice hissed in my ear, and I felt her breath, "It truly makes me hate him."
With a vicious punch, I spun around again, trying to knock her face in, and my fist slammed hard against the wall, bruising on impact, and Jade was nowhere to be seen.
"If you have any idea what's good for you…" I panted, "you'll leave him alone. Get out of my life, and leave us both alone."
"There it is again: that protection and consideration. I hate him even more when you say things like that. I want so badly to kill him, Cho Hakkai—you have no idea. Today, I could barely keep myself from tearing him limb from limb."
The words made my blood turn cold, my heart starting to slam, loudly, against my sternum. "I'm warning you, Jade—if you value your life, you will never, ever do such a thing. I promise it will be the death of you."
Her laughter rang through the room again, like the tinkling of a bell, "But don't you understand?"
I looked up, thought I saw her, seated motionlessly on the edge of the bed, her hand caressing his hair. "He keeps us apart. He alone prevents our union, prevents your very freedom. We can never be happy as long as his heart continues to beat, and although you don't want to accept that, it is reality. Think on it a while, and you'll find that I'm right. He continues to stand in our way, out of his own selfishness, while you're condemned to keep living this miserable existence—a youkai dressing like a human. A wolf in sheep's clothing. A tiger ashamed of his stripes. It's utter slavery, all for the sake of one filthy, cursed, ignorant, smudge of impure flesh."
Suddenly, I burst into laughter myself, "Oh, Jade."
She watched me through the darkness.
"I apologize for laughing, dear, but I feel…so, so sorry for you."
"Sorry? For me?"
"Yes. I see that you must be living a very lonely life, indeed, without any touch of warmth or friendship, because anyone who's ever had a friend that was even a fraction of what Gojyo is to me, would know that what you're saying is just a terrible lie, and yet you honestly believe it. You honestly believe that if I abandoned my friends and lived wild and free with you, I would be happy. You honestly believe that my loyalty to them is slavery. Haven't you ever loved anyone in your entire life?"
"I love you, Cho Hakkai."
"I highly doubt that, Asahara. If you loved me, you would hold the things I care for in much higher regard—you would leave me alone, and you would renounce your vow to kill Sanzo, you would help me kill Ryptcore and then vanish from my life, and you wouldn't sit there and tell me all about how much you'd like to kill Gojyo."
She was silent. Then she said, "It's true though. I love your violence and your insanity and the murder I can sense inside you. You have no idea how it feels, sensing into your soul—there is such thick blackness there, and such tragedy. You are truly a creature of night and chaos, powerful and beautiful and bloodthirsty. I've never met anyone quite so intoxicatingly dangerous.
"Your young friend, the Sage, he's dangerous and chaotic and insane as well, but he goes about it so purely, with such cheerfulness. The remorse and the heartlessness you possess puts his power to shame."
"You're the only one of the three of us who's insane, Jade. Goku can't control that danger—even I'm constantly on the edge of losing all control—but you willingly choose to live that way, murdering and twisting things and trivializing the good in this world. It's a wonder you ever had a husband to begin with; any man who gets so much of a glimpse of how nightmarishly psychotic you are would surely run the other way."
I could almost sense the anger that invoked in her, "Don't poke fun at my mate, Love. I think you're in a precarious position for trying to mock me—I could crush him right here, in his sleep, and you'd have nothing left but a bloody smear on the mattress."
"Let me make one thing clear." I answered, as coldly and violently as I could, "If you ever touch him again, I'm going to do more than kill you. I'm going to make you suffer."
She didn't seem bothered at all, "See? That dark look on your face is just what draws me to you, Cho Hakkai. It's terrible."
"You should pay less attention to my face and more to what I'm telling you."
"No, I don't think you could ever kill me."
"And why is that?"
"Just a hunch I have. A reasonable theory that leads me to believe that you wouldn't be able to stomach harming me in any way. In fact, I believe that, under the right circumstances, you'd sooner slay him than raise a hand against me."
"Well, I believe you're wrong."
"I guess we'll have to wait and see."
My heart seized up again, I clenched my fists and my teeth, shuddered deep in my bones, "We will not see. You stay away from my friends, including Sanzo—I don't care if he did kill your brothers and husband—I won't tolerate you terrorizing them."
"You know, there's nothing you can do to prevent it."
"I don't recommend you test that hypothesis, Jade."
She retorted slowly, "It's only the truth. When Ryptcore is dead, I will come for the Sanzo. If the Sage tries to stop me, he'll be next. I intend to kill Sha Gojyo out of principle alone. There won't be a thing you can do to stop me once I've made up my mind to destroy them, and once they're dead, it won't matter if you kill me or not, because they'll still be gone, and you won't be able to get them back, and at that point, I'll be the only one you can turn to: me, and your own insanity, together. Forever."
It was the last thing I could bear to listen to, and I went for her, hands reaching out, fully intending to seize her by the throat and snap her neck, or squeeze until her eyes popped out.
She vanished at once, dissipating into the darkness.
I stopped short, barely catching myself before I fell down on the bed, and I turned around and around, looking everywhere for her, but she was gone. I waited for her voice, but it didn't come again.
"Jade?"
Nothing.
Had I imagined it?
"Jade?"
Perhaps I'd been asleep.
Rubbing my forehead, absently, I tried to still the beating of my heart, stood over the bed again, where Jeep had curled up on the pillow, beside Gojyo, and Lei was clinging to him like they were lovers. The three of them hadn't stirred throughout my exchange with Jade, and I wondered if that was because the conversation hadn't really taken place.
"I am very tired." I reminded myself. "When one is exhausted, it's easy to let the imagination run wild."
There was no physical evidence that Jade had been there, and because of that, didn't I have every right to assume that I'd been hallucinating or dreaming? Couldn't I tell myself that every word she'd spoken, including the violent threats, had been made up out of my own subconscious fears?
I could only hope.
Immensely unsettled, I went back to the window and stared out.