Love Left Behind

by breathbookslove

Serena and Nate were married. And had a daughter. Supposedly as in love and complete as possible. Until Nate woke up one morning and Serena was gone. Packed her clothes and everything that was hers in the house. With a simple note on her pillow. I'm sorry. Now 5 years later. It has been Nate and Suzie. He's erased her from his life. But has yet to get divorced.

26. Chapter 26

Love. Left. Behind.

Chapter 26

"She's not going to let go until she sees for herself that there's nothing left to hold on to."

Months Later

After almost a year. Suzie and I have found a new home.

About a block away from our old neighborhood.

Which Suzie has grown to love.

Meeting new kids. While still being able to go to her school.

And stay close to her old friends.

She sees her dad plenty of times during the week.

He takes her to school one half of the week. And I take her the other half.

Weekends we spend time together as a family.

It put's Suzie at ease to see the both of us together.

Doing the same activities, we always did.

When she has school events we meet up and watch her.

Then celebrate afterwards. And she goes home with either me or him.

Depending on what day and time of week it is.

Ben is dead. From what the reports said.

Other inmates killed him.

As for Blair, she's serving her time.

And seems to be staying out of trouble.

That is from Chuck's recount of the one visit he had with her.

They don't keep in touch.

As for Henry, he calls her and has visited.

But Chuck doesn't want to overwhelm him.

And I get it. I would be the exact same way.

Chuck and I are even closer now.

Which I didn't think was possible.

Suzie and Henry are extremely close.

And that is really comforting to know.

As for Nate and I.

When we aren't doing, something involving Suzie.

The exchanges between us are short and very on the surface.

We haven't talked in depth or at all about everything that happened.

When I see sometimes. I get this pull in my chest.

Like my heart is breaking into pieces.

I asked Chuck to draw up divorce papers for me.

He did after putting it off for a while.

And all they do is sit there.

In my drawer.

I looked over them once.

When I first got them.

By the time I reached the end I was in tears.

Deciding then to not look at them again.

Unless I was planning to fill it out and file.

Chuck took both Suzie and Henry to get some dessert.

We had just eaten dinner at Chuck's place.

Me, Nate, The kids, Doretha.

The idea was very spur of the moment.

I think he sensed a feeling of need in the air.

And took the opportunity.

To give Nate and I some space to talk.

So here I am. Back at my house.

Nate and I staring at each other.

I used to wonder what he thought when he looked at me.

Now I find myself wondering what he thinks.

When I look at him.

Taking a breath.

Rubbing my hands together.

It's colder in here then I thought it would be.

Turning my head towards him.

As I notice him starting to speak.

"I miss you."

"I miss us and being together as a family."

"I know that it was my mistakes that drove us to this point."

"But I've been working on myself."

"During my free time."

"I talk to a therapist."

"And I've made a lot of progress."

"And I really see a difference in who I am and who I want to be."

Nate said to her.

Putting her hand on top of his.

While she spoke.

"I'm happy for you."

"I still see my therapist as well."

"She's been a great help to me."

"It's good you're getting help to be the best version of yourself possible."

"I wish you all the happiness in the world."

I said looking at him.

Ignoring the ache in my chest.

As we locked eyes.

"Now when it comes to the two of us."

He began to say.

The way he looked at me.

Caused tears to well up in my eyes.

"I was wrong and I hurt you."

"More than I ever thought was possible."

"That will always be the biggest mistake I've ever made."

"That night being with her."

"Meant nothing to me."

"None of it ever mattered."

"Until you."

He said putting his hand on my face.

I could feel his emotion.

His eyes. The gentleness of his hand on my face.

"How can I trust you.?"

"With my heart and my body."

"After I saw the pictures."

"I watched that video."

"Those images are burned into my mind."

"The way you looked at her."

"And touched her."

"It seemed like that was exactly where you wanted to be."

I said.

Taking a breath.

As I wiped my eyes.

"I was home waiting for you."

"It was my own fault."

"For believing in you and me."

"Thinking I was deserving of any of it."

"I don't trust you."

"When it comes to what you tell me."

"Or what you do."

"Because if you loved me at all."

"You would of left that night."

"And told me what she said to you."

"Instead you gave into her."

"Which I think is exactly what you wanted to do."

"For a long time."

"But you were stuck with me."

"So you couldn't act on it."

"When the opportunity finally presented itself."

"You went for it."

"I'm sorry."

"For holding you back."

"Me and my inability to love and let someone in."

"See me raw and untethered."

"Changed because of you."

"And I wish that I could forgive you."

"And move forward."

"But I can't."

"It physically hurts to look at you."

"Do you have any idea.?"

"How sad that makes me.?"

"I always felt safe with you."

"Simply being in your presence or wrapped in your arms."

"But now I feel empty."

"My heart is broken and I can't piece it together anymore."

"I trust myself either."

"Loving you hurts and scares me."

"And I can't and won't risk it again."

"I am done with love period."

Serena said.

Wiping the tears from her eyes.

"You don't mean that."

"S."

"I know you and you know me."

"We fit and make sense."

"I'm in love with you."

Looking into your eyes.

"I can see you're that you're scared."

"And that you're in love with me too."

"Honestly tell me that none of that matters."

"We should walk away from each other."

"And never look back."

"Ignore the connection, friendship, and love."

"That obvious anytime we are in the same room."

"Tell me that you want to me go."

"Everything that I'm telling you."

"Right now isn't effecting you."

"Seeping into your skin and rebuilding your heart."

"Because you know that I'm telling you the truth."

"I love you."

"With every part of who I am."

"Who I was."

"And who I have yet to be."

"You are the only person on earth."

"Who knows every secret, broken piece, vulnerable side and moment."

"I've ever had and experienced." "You know every story and scar."

"The times my heart broke and how it got pieced back together."

"Why that is because it started with you."

"I knew I was worth giving a chance to."

"Because for the first time in my life I saw myself."

"Through someone else's eyes.

"And saw pure love looking back at me."

"I wanted and needed to try."

"Savor the reflection."

"The feeling of safety, strength, and understanding."

"Made me feel free enough to let you see me."

"And in return."

"I saw you."

"And our souls intertwined."

"My heart was not mine from that moment on."

Nate said.

Wiping his eyes.

His heart pounding.

His heart aching with the love for her."

"He had yet to fully express."

Feeling his face turn.

As he felt her hand on him.

Their eyes now locked.

His words filling her.

The aching parts of her.

Desperate to cling onto the hope she found in them.

Taking his hand.

Gently running her hand on his face.

Wiping his tears.

Gasping for breath as she tried to speak.

Trying to voice what she wanted or needed.

Instead she looked at his eyes.

Then his lips.

Craving the feeling of want and hunger and need.

She remembered. When they're lips touched.

Tears blurring her vision as she got up.

"I should tell you to go."

"But I don't want you to."

I said.

Taking his hand.

…

Author's Note: The push and pull. The love and hurt. These two are everything to me. Let me know what you think happens next in the reviews.