"And the World Martial Arts Tournament is finally back on track!" the announcer said. "Our next fight is the third fight of Round Two: Chi-Chi Son versus Contestant Shin!"
"Ready!" Chi-Chi said, prepared to kick some purple butt.
The Supreme Kai stepped into the fighting area and walked to the announcer. "I am most sorry, but I cannot fight," the Supreme Kai said. "I need to tell the other Kais about the death of Majin Buu, and I have to find Kabito in Other World."
"HYAH!" Chi-Chi shouted. She ran towards the Supreme Kai and gave him an open-palmed smack to the right eye.
"Augh!" Supreme Kai said. He stumbled backwards a few steps, and Chi-Chi darted forward with a series of attacks, attempting to knock him backwards even further. She landed three punches and a kick before Supreme Kai started dodging.
"Please, Miss!" Supreme Kai said, while trying to avoid being hit. "I wish to forfeit the match!"
"You let those two gray goons attack my husband!" Chi-Chi said. "And Goten died because of those creeps who were after you! You're going to pay!"
"I do not—ooof!—wish to fight you!" Supreme Kai said, while being hit in the eye again.
Vegeta would have approved of Chi-Chi's rage-filled attacks, had he been there to watch. She pulled no punches when attacking the purple-skinned man with the hideous outfit and even more hideous hair. Soon, the self-proclaimed god was sporting a black eye and a few bruises.
"ENOUGH!" Supreme Kai shouted. He flew up into the air, out of Chi-Chi's reach. "I am very grateful to you and your family for helping save the universe, but you Z-Fighters have been nothing but disrespectful to me ever since I told you about Bibidi, Babidi and Buu!"
"The Cinderella monsters," Videl snickered. Now that Buu was dead and not attempting to kill her boyfriend, he didn't seem like a very scary villain at all. The pink blob didn't even speak in complete sentences, after all.
"Like that!" Supreme Kai said. "It's like none of you have ever heard of a Kai before today! And now you physically attack me? Such impropriety is unbelievable! If you will not give me respect, I will earn it by showing you how strong I really am!"
The Supreme Kai focused all his energy into one, big show-stopping attack. "KA...ME...HA...ME..."
"Chi-Chi doesn't know how to do energy attacks! She can't counter the Kamehameha!" Goku cried. Or at least, he would have cried that, if he wasn't in the first aid area at the moment. The sensu beans had healed Goku and Gohan perfectly, but the doctors still wanted to run some tests to make sure they were okay.
"HAAAAAAA!" Supreme Kai shouted. All 110 units of his power level went into that devastating attack, which hit Chi-Chi square in the chest, killing her instantly.
Nah, I'm just kidding. Chi-Chi took two steps to the right, and the attack missed her completely. Meanwhile, the Supreme Kai collapsed onto the ground, completely spent.
"...So that's why he was constantly amazed that we could defeat Babidi's goons with no trouble," Eighteen said.
"Are you sure that's King Kai's boss?" Tien asked Yamcha. "His power level is even lower than yours!"
"Hey, that's not funny!" Yamcha said.
"I'm not joking," Tien said.
Chi-Chi started kicking the Supreme Kai, who was too weak to block the attacks. She frowned. It wasn't fun to fight an opponent who wasn't fighting back. She kicked him over to the side of the arena and off the ledge.
"Chi-Chi Son WINS!" the announcer cried. "She moves on to the third round!"
Meanwhile, our hero Sharpener was a-walkin' through the forest, tryin' to get back to the World Martial Arts Tourney. I call him a "hero" because he was no longer the villainous Majin Sharpener, not because he has any heroic qualities.
Sharpener didn't like being under the control of Babidi. Sure, it was cool to have superpowers and everything, but it was definitely not cool to have no control over yourself. Sharpener was shocked when he remembered the things he did under the wizard's spell, such as kill his friends and attack Videl.
Sharpener couldn't believe it. He attacked Videl! The girl of his dreams! All because of the Majin-ous influence!
So when Sharpener was brought back from DBZ Hell (AKA having to wait two years before getting new episodes), it was a godsend. He was determined to stop Babidi and Buu, to make the world a better place for everyone, and to become the best person he could be.
It was a great idea, and Sharpener was dangerously close to showing some actual character development for once, but alas, he still thought that "being a good person" meant "having a hot girlfriend".
And so he was just as useless as ever.
"When I defeat Bibby-bobby-biddy-buu, I bet a bunch of hot girls will want to go out with me!" Sharpener said. "Even though I'm all dead and stuff. Being dead isn't that bad, though. It's totally cool that I have a halo now. Halo is the most awesome videogame ever! Yeah!"
Yep, just as useless as ever. And speaking of useless characters, Sharpener saw someone in a nearby clearing...
"Muahahahaha!" a short pale green alien named Garlic Junior shouted, holding up his prize. Garlic Junior had recently escaped from the Dead Zone to wreck havoc on Earth. "I have the five-star dragonball! When I get all seven, I will be unstoppable!"
"What's up, dude?" Sharpener asked this stranger.
"What's up? I'm about to take over the world, that's what's up!" the dwarf shouted.
"Cool," Sharpener said. He leaned to the side, resting his elbow on Garlic Junior's head. "Say, do you know how to get to the World Martial Arts Tournament from here? I need to go there to fight someone."
"You're a fighter?" Garlic Junior asked.
"One of the strongest on the planet, little dude," Sharpener said.
"Oh," Garlic Junior said, smiling to himself. He needed some strong fighters if he was going to take over the planet, and Sharpener would definitely count as dumb muscle. Garlic Jr. decided the best thing to do would be to get Sharpener on his side.
"I can take you to the tournament, but only if you help me get revenge on the morons who trapped me in the Dead Zone!" Garlic Junior cried, running the tip of his tongue over his left fang.
"The...what what?" Sharpener asked.
"The Dead Zone! Another dimension which traps people inside forever!" Garlic Junior shouted.
"So, is it like the Twilight Zone or something?" Sharpener asked. "I don't like the Twilight books. They're, like, too full of words for me."
"No! It's a horrible place that you can never escape from!" Garlic Junior shouted.
"Gotcha! It's like math class!"
"NOOOOOOOO!" Garlic Junior shouted, his temper getting the best of him. "Watch carefully, okay?"
GJ jumped up into the air and opened a portal to the Dead Zone behind him. You'd think he would have learned to never open portals to the Dead Zone by now, but no one ever accused Garlic Junior of being smart.
"This is the Dead Zone," Garlic Junior explained. "If you get sucked into it, you're stuck forever! For-ev-ver."
Garlic Junior was forgetting, of course, that he managed to escape the Dead Zone, thanks to the Makyo Star of Plot Convenience. His second escape from the Dead Zone, which occurred less than an hour ago, was thanks to Majin Buu, believe it or not. When Majin Buu screamed at Gohan, he unknowingly opened a trans-dimensional portal—one of Majin Buu's random powers—and it just so happened that the portal was from the Dead Zone to Earth. Garlic Junior was in the neighborhood at the time, so he flew through the portal.
"How does it suck people in?" Sharpener asked.
"Like this," Garlic Junior said, turning on the inter-dimensional vacuum cleaner. The portal started sucking in everything that was close to it. And who was closest to the portal? Mr. I Open Portals Behind Myself All The Time!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Garlic Junior cried as the portal to the Dead Zone sucked him in. "Not agaaaaaaaaain!"
Garlic Junior and the portal disappeared.
"That was weird," Sharpener said, bending down to pick up whatever it was that his little buddy dropped. It was an orange ball with stars on it. Sharpener put it in his pocket and kept walking through the forest.
::FWOOOMP! FWOOOOMP!::
Soon after, a strange siren sounded. It was coming from a hoverjet, no less than thirty feet away. The jet landed on the ground, and out stepped our heroes Bulma and Trunks.
"The dragon radar says it's right here!" Trunks said, looking at the radar.
"Excuse me, but do you have a dragonball?" Bulma asked Sharpener.
"A what now?" Sharpener asked.
"An orange ball with stars on it," Bulma explained.
Sharpener pulled out his dragonball. "This thing? Yeah, I just found it five minutes ago. You dudes can have it if you want."
"YES!" Bulma and Trunks cheered.
"But only if you give me a ride to the World Martial Arts Tournament," Sharpener said.
"Deal!" Bulma said, shaking Sharpener's hand.
Dr. Chicka-Chicka-Boom-Boom scratched his head in confusion. "According to these reports, you two are perfectly healthy!" he said. "It's like you weren't unconscious ten minutes ago!"
Goku winked at Gohan. Tien's Sensu Beans had done the trick.
"Does that mean we can go now?" Gohan asked politely.
"Yes, but...but it doesn't make sense!" the doctor said. "By all accounts, you should have to be in the hospital for at least a week, but you have no injuries whatsoever!
"Gee, thanks a lot, doc, bye!" Goku said, opening the door to leave the room.
"GOKU SON, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, FIGHTING MAJIN BUU LIKE THAT? YOU COULD HAVE DIED OR GOTTEN STUCK—!"
Goku slammed the door shut immediately. "Er, on second thought, doc, I think I'll stay here and get another test after all! Maybe I'm still woozy!"
"Excellent," the doctor said, pulling out a large needle. "First, I'll have to take some blood and—"
Goku screamed. Trapped inside a room with a needle, with an angry Chi-Chi waiting for him in the hallway. There was only one thing for our hero to do. Using Instant Transmission, he disappeared and reappeared 200 miles away.
"Phew!" Goku said.
"Um...where did Mr. Son go?" asked Dr. Chicka-Chicka-Boom-Boom.
Gohan chuckled nervously. "To the bathroom, I guess? Well, I should be leaving, too, goodbye!"
Gohan ran to the door and went through it before the doctor could ask another question.
"GOKU, HOW DARE YOU—Oh, hello, Gohan," Chi-Chi said. "Are you feeling better?"
"I'm great!" Gohan said. "No injuries at all!"
"That's good to hear," Chi-Chi said. "I swear, if you had gotten hurt, I don't know what I'd do to your father..."
Gohan smiled. He was perfectly healthy, Majin Buu was dead, and best of all, no women were screaming at him.
"Gohan! What is wrong with you?"
Scratch that.
"Videl!" Gohan said, speaking to the messy-haired girl who had just entered the hallway.
Videl marched over to her errant boyfriend. "You and I need to talk right now, Gohan!" she said, crossing her hands over her chest.
"Um...Mom? Help?" Gohan asked out of the corner of his mouth.
"Go talk with your girlfriend, son," Chi-Chi said, involuntarily shuddering at the word girlfriend. She still wasn't used to the idea of any girl getting close to her precious baby boy. "I need to talk with your father."
Gohan let out a whimper as Videl dragged him away to a nearby empty room. He didn't like the looks of this.
"You'd better have a good explanation for what you did!" Videl said angrily. "Fighting Majin Buu like that!"
"Um...I was trying to save the world?" Gohan said, hoping that would satisfy Videl.
"Not that!" Videl said. "Doing that Function thing and disappearing! I thought you were gone forever!"
"Oh," Gohan said, scratching his head. To be perfectly honest, he could barely remember what happened while he was fused with his father. In fact, the only thing he could remember was that the Fused Warrior had chosen a really cool name, probably something like Goharott or The Great Saiyan Man. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you like that."
"Sorry's not good enough!" Videl said. "I thought you died! And if you don't have a good explanation, you will die!"
Videl glared at her boyfriend. He was the smartest boy she knew—how could he do something so stupid? Scaring her like that?
Gohan—who is now going to be referred to as The Worst Boyfriend Ever—wasn't paying attention. Videl's words reminded him of what happened seven years ago...
"It's all my fault!" Gohan cried. "He's gone, Mom! I killed him!"
"No," Chi-Chi said. "You didn't kill him. Cell did."
"Daddy's gone! I killed my daddy!" Gohan cried. His grip on Chi-Chi tightened, as if he was afraid he'd fall off the planet if he let go.
Goku sacrificed himself to stop a monster, despite the pain it caused his family. Gohan had long ago promised himself that he would never ever ever abandon his loved ones like Goku did...
...But when he was fighting Buu, Gohan was ready to do the exact same thing: give up his life to keep his loved ones safe. It was a noble intention, to be sure, but Videl clearly didn't see it that way.
"Well?" she demanded. "Are you going to say anything, or are you just going to stand there like the idiot you are?"
Gohan's brain scrambled for an answer, and being the nerdy fellow he is, he seized upon an error in Videl's logical thought process. That is, she was mad at him for doing something she did all the time. That's inconsistent, and systematic consistency is a vital part of any valid philosophical system!
"Why do you fight crime?" Gohan asked.
"What?" Videl asked.
"Why do you fight crime?" Gohan repeated. "That's really dangerous, and you could get killed."
"That doesn't have anything to do with what we're talking about," Videl said.
"Yes it does!" Gohan insisted. "What, you get to risk your life, and I don't?"
"Do you want to risk your life?" Videl asked, clenching her fists. " 'Cause that's what you're doing now, arguing with me!"
"I'm not my dad," Gohan said simply. "I don't do martial arts because I like fighting. But if I have to fight a monster to keep my family and friends safe, I will! What's wrong with that?"
"You didn't have to do it, that's what's wrong!" Videl said. "You could have let someone else fight Buu! There was Vegeta, or your dad, or hell, even the freaking god of the universes was there to stop Buu!"
"There was no way the Supreme Kai could have beaten Buu!" Gohan said. "Besides, you fought Buu first! I could say the same things to you!"
"What?" Videl asked. "I never fought Buu!"
"You went to Babidi's Hideout with Piccolo, Eighteen, Goten and the Supreme Kai!" Gohan said. "Are you telling me that you didn't fight anyone there?"
"That's not the same thing," Videl dismissed. "I didn't fight Buu."
"It's exactly the same thing!" Gohan said. "Do you know how I felt when you left to go fight unknown, dangerous monsters? I wanted to quit the tournament right then and there to stop you from getting yourself killed!"
"I can take care of myself, Gohan!" Videl said. It wasn't exactly true—as the weakest fighter in the group, she was the one who was most likely to be killed—but Videl never once thought her life was in danger while they stormed Babidi's spaceship.
"No, you can't!" Gohan said. "That's why I had to fight Majin Sharpener and Majin Buu! If I didn't step in, they would have killed you!"
"So I'm just a big weakling in your eyes, is that it?" Videl shouted.
"No, that's not it!" Gohan said. "I just don't want to see you get hurt!"
"Then stop hurting me!" Videl retorted.
"I'm not trying to hurt you, don't you get it?" Gohan said. "I'm trying to protect you!"
"From the evil bubble gun monster?" Videl asked. "Gee, thanks a lot, Gohan!"
Gohan was ready to respond with a really clever comeback—something like, "You're welcome!"—but instead a giggle escaped his lips.
"What's so funny?" Videl demanded.
"Evil bubble gum monster?" Gohan asked. He laughed out loud. "Hee hee...what happened to Cinderella monster?"
"I can come up with new nicknames if I want to," Videl said, pouting slightly.
"Hee hee...it's...it just sounds silly when you say it that way," Gohan said. "You were scared that the bubble gum monster got me?"
"I guess it does sound kind of dumb..." Videl said, and she almost smiled...but then she thought better of it and put her foot down. "That doesn't matter, though! He could have killed you!"
"But he didn't, so it's all good, right?" Gohan asked.
"No, it's not!" Videl said. "Look, I'm not mad that you fought Buu—I'm mad that you disappeared with no explanation!"
"But I couldn't have given you an explanation!" Gohan said. "I had no idea that was going to happen!"
"What do you mean, you had no idea?" Videl asked. "You're the one who did it!"
"I never heard of fusion before today," Gohan said. "I only did it because Dad said so, not because I knew what would happen. Don't you remember? He forced me to do it!"
Videl thought back to earlier. Goku yelled at Gohan to stop kissing Videl, then taught him how to do the Fusion Dance. Yes, Goku kind of forced Gohan to do it...and the fact that Gohan had to be taught how to do to the Fusion Dance proved that he had never done it before.
Besides, unless Gohan had somehow managed to get rid of his terrible lying skills, he was definitely telling the truth now.
"Oh," Videl said. "Right. I remember now." She turned slightly red. Why didn't she figure that out on her own? It seemed slightly obvious, now that she thought about it.
"Great, now I feel like an idiot," Videl said, turning aside so she didn't have to look at Gohan. "Sorry...I shouldn't have yelled at you."
"It's okay...I guess," Gohan said.
There was a moment of silence.
"So...you're not mad at me anymore?" Gohan asked.
Videl sighed. "No, I guess not. I mean...if it's not your fault, you...I dunno." She still felt upset, but she knew she couldn't take it out on Gohan anymore. Not after yelling at him for five minutes about something that wasn't his fault.
Geez, when did she turn into his mother?
Gohan patted Videl's shoulder in what he hoped was a boyfriend-like manner. "It's okay, Videl. I'm sorry for yelling at you, too...I guess."
The unhappy couple looked at each other sadly.
"This is going to be a problem for us, isn't it?" Videl asked. "The whole fighting thing?"
"Yeah..." Gohan said. "I don't want to see you get hurt while fighting."
"I don't to see you get hurt, either," Videl said. "But we're superheroes. Fighting bad guys is in our job description."
"That stinks," Gohan said. After a pause, he added, "I guess we're too overprotective."
"And now, it's time for the last fight of Round Two," the announcer said. "You're guaranteed to like this match, everyone! It's the battle of the champions! First up is the former World Champion, Hercule!"
"Ha ha, yeah!" Hercule said, while the crowd cheered. They were no less enthusiastic than usual, despite his first-round loss to Goku.
"And next is former World Champion, Jackie Chun!"
Master Roshi jumped into the arena, hoping to hear cheers and shouts of joy from all the beautiful young ladies in the audience. What he got was some polite applause.
"All right, Old Man!" Hercule said. "Do you think you have what it takes to fight the Champ? I know you won the tournament once, but that was, what, seventy years ago?"
Some people in the crowd laughed.
"You young whippersnapper!" Master Roshi said. "I can fight you with my eyes closed! Just look!"
Master Roshi flexed, and suddenly huge muscles popped up all over his body. Hercule immediately recoiled. The fight was not going to be as easy as he thought.
Author's Note: Sorry for taking so long to write this chapter. The conversation with Gohan and Videl was really hard for me to write.