Happy new year everybody! Hope you all had a good, safe one!
"Let's go, get up." Marie said pulling the blankets off both me and Hailey.
"What're you doing here?" I asked sleepily rubbing my eyes.
"We're going home." She said standing there with crossed arms.
"We are home." I said rolling my eyes as I looked over at the sleeping little girl.
"No, we're going home to-"
"Oklahoma home there honey." Lori Anne said coming into the room with bag.
"Wait, what are you two talking about?" I asked sitting up, getting angry. They just burst into my room and start speaking crazy talk, who does that?
"We're all going to Oklahoma for the weekend, Hailey wants to meet grandma and grandpa and I think you're going to need it." Kyra said coming out of my bathroom. I felt so confused.
"Who's we?" I asked looking around, I half expected someone to walk into my room with another explanation.
"Me, you, Hailey, Marie, Pake, Lori Anne, and Adam." Kyra said sitting on the edge of my bed. I sighed running a hand down my face.
"How is this going to work?" I asked doubting this plan.
"We go for two nights and come back on Sunday. Just spend the weekend up there. I think it'd be good for you two." Lori Anne said from my closet. She was packing my bag for me I guess. Not a big surprise there.
"Do mama and daddy know?" I asked with a sigh as I rubbed the back of my neck.
"Course they do." Pake said from the doorway. I rolled my eyes.
"When are we leaving?" I asked looking around.
"As soon as you shower." Lori Anne said putting my bag on the bed and going over to my dresser. I rolled my eyes with a little smile at my best friend.
"Let me pack Hailey's bag real quick." I said getting ready to stand. Kyra pulled me back down.
"Already taken care of." Pake said from the doorway. I looked over and he pointed down by his feet where the bag was sitting. "Now shower so we can get going." He said like only Pake could. I laughed a little, feeling a little bit better already.
X xx xxx xx x xx xxx xx x xx xxx xx x
"Let's go mommy!" Hailey said excitedly grabbing my hand and pulling me out of my room. I laughed.
"Where we going honey?" I asked when we got down the stairs.
"I want to show you my present for your mommy and daddy!" she said dragging me into the kitchen. I laughed again.
"Okay, where is it?" I asked when we stopped. She giggled.
"Right here." She said pointing over at the table. There was a picture of a deer smiling at a guy in a vest with a red shirt underneath it who was also smiling. It looks like the picture I showed her. I walked over and picked it up; I smiled. There was another one on the table, I picked it up and smiled with tears in my eyes. It was three people, one redhead holding a little blonde girls hand, and a gray haired woman holding her other hand. I felt my throat close up with tears.
"Are you okay mommy?" she asked hugging my legs. I smiled.
"These as so beautiful Hailey." I said kneeling down at her level and hugging her tight. I tried to hold the tears in but felt them fighting just as hard to fall.
"Thanks mommy." She said proudly into my shoulder. She pulled back and looked at me with a smile. "I have a surprise for you too." She said reaching under the table cloth and pulling a few papers off of a chair. She handed them over to me. I took them from her and felt myself feel proud, happy, and sad all at once. The one on top was a picture of the house, it was all colorful and happy, it looked like summertime. The next one was of a bunch of horses that had big smiles on their faces. I felt a big smile spread across my face, blurring my eyes with tears. The next one was a group of people in a room all smiling.
"It's all of us at Cheyenne's." she said smiling. She pointed to two people holding hands. "That's you and Scott, you probably knew because of your red hair though." I laughed a little.
"It does look a lot like me doesn't it?" she smiled at me nodding proudly.
"This is Cheyenne, Van, Elizabeth, and Matt." She said pointing to a group of people all holding hands. "That's Kyra and Adam." She said pointing to another pair of people holding hands. "I made her hair lighter than yours, hers is longer too." She said causing me to smile big again.
"Where are you?" I asked looking up at her. She smiled at me.
"I'm by Jake, he doesn't have a girlfriend. I didn't want him to feel left out." I laughed really hard at that.
"I have such a sweet little girl." I said pulling her into another hug.
"I'm still by you, but Jake looked lonely." She said when we pulled apart. I just laughed as I shook my head.
X xx xxx xx x xx xxx xx x xx xxx xx x
"What're you doing?" Kyra asked when I pulled my phone out. It was me, Hailey, and Kyra in the backseat.
"I'm going to call Scott and let him know what's going on." I said dialing his number.
"I already talked to him about it for you she said taking my phone from me. I looked at her confused.
"Why? What's going on?" I asked a little annoyed by this point.
"I'll explain it at the next stop." She said looking forward.
"The next stop is at the farm Kyra." I said plainly.
"Then that's convenient." She said with a little smile. I rolled my eyes and took my phone back. "Who're you calling now?"
"I'm calling Cheyenne." I said looking at her. She rolled her eyes.
"Hello?"
"Hey Cheyenne, have you been informed of anything?" I could tell Kyra was watching me out of the corner of her eye.
"No, not really." I raised an eyebrow.
"You don't?"
"Oh, you mean you guys all going up to Oklahoma? Yeah, I heard about that." I rolled my eyes at her tone. I could tell she was smiling.
"You knew?" I asked looking over at Kyra.
"Of course I did. I helped Kyra plan it mom." She made it sound like it was suppose to be obvious.
"Then where are you?" she'd never miss this.
"I have school mom, that big seminar I told you about? It's tomorrow, otherwise I'd be there."
"Oh, well do you know what's going on? Nobody will tell me anything on this end." I said flatly. I saw Kyra look over at me suddenly. I pretended I didn't notice.
"There's just a lot going on mom, you need a weekend away." I felt like there was more than what they were telling me going on.
"Oh, alright then." I said oddly.
"Not to cut the conversation short here, but I have to get Matt to his eye doctor appointment. I'll talk to you later tonight okay?"
"Alright, give the kids a kiss for me."
"Can do, bye."
"Bye." I put my phone down with a sigh.
"Do you think we're going to throw you in a ditch or something?" Marie asked from the driver's seat with a smile.
"No, she's just worried we're kidnapping her." Lori Anne said, making both of them just crack up. I rolled my eyes.
"You two are just jerks." I said trying not to smile.
"You know we love you honey." Marie said laughing. I rolled my eyes laughing a little too.
X xx xxx xx x xx xxx xx x xx xxx xx x
"Oh daddy I've missed you." I said into his shoulder as he squeezed me tight. I did miss him so much. I felt like crying being home with him again. We pulled apart and my mama stepped over. She pulled me into a quick squeeze. I smelt flour and a hint of vanilla perfume.
"I missed you too mama." I said as we pulled away. She just smiled at me.
"We've missed you too honey." She made a face. "Now I hear there's a pretty little girl in our midst's." she said raising an eyebrow. I smiled over at Hailey who was hiding behind Lori Anne.
"Do you want to meet my parents Hailey?" I asked walking over and crouching by her with a smile. She peeked at me from Lori Anne's jacket that she had pressed to her face. She hurried over into my arms, hiding her face in my neck.
"I don't know them mommy." She whispered. I held her close.
"Those are my parents honey, remember us talking about them?" she nodded a little. "Why don't we go say hi okay?" I said trying to pull her back a little bit. She held me in place; I didn't object.
"Are they my grandparents?" she asked looking up at me a little at a weird angle. I smiled a very sad, dreadful smile. They might not be after this weekend…
"Yes they are." I said shaking those thoughts away. This was going to be a good weekend, not a pity party one.
"Do you like them?" she asked pulling back a little more. I laughed.
"Yes I do, very much." She pulled back a little more with a smile. "I'm right here with you okay?" I said holding her hands. She held my eyes.
"Will you always stay with me mommy?" I felt my throat close up and my eyes start to glaze over.
"As long as I live baby girl." I said looking into her eyes. She threw her arms around my neck and squeezed me, I had both my arms wrapped around her holding her as close as I could to me. I felt a tear sneak out and fall into her hair. When we pulled back she just looked at me.
"Why're you crying mommy?" she asked wiping my tears away.
"Because I love you so much." I said poking her nose. She smiled, making me smile too.
"I love you lots too mommy." I just wanted to cry but instead, I kept a smile on my face and stood up, taking her hand.
"Ready to go meet your grandparents?" she looked off to the side nervously. "What's wrong honey?"
"I've never had a grandparents before. What if they don't like me?" she asked looking up at me. I smiled.
"I don't think it's possible for them to not love you to pieces." She smiled a little. I started us over to my parents. "Mama, daddy, this is my Foster daughter Hailey." I looked down at Hailey. "Hailey, this is my mama and daddy." Daddy got down on one knee, like he did when we were kids, with a bit of trouble and a big sigh before looking over at Hailey with a smile.
"Well miss Hailey, I've got something for you." He said with that crooked little smile of his. She held onto my arm and hid her face behind it.
"What is it?" she asked me in a whisper, looking up at me. I laughed a little.
"You're going to have to go find out." I said raising my eyebrows. She snuck a peek back over at daddy.
"Well I'm not gonna bite ya honey." He said laughing a little.
"Go on, I'm right here." I said. She sighed before letting go of my arm and taking two steps towards him. He looked over at her with a smile.
"Could I get a hug little miss?" he asked. She nodded, smiling a little bit. As soon as I saw her wrapped up in my daddy's arms I felt something change all around me. This little girl completes our family. She's the missing piece to the picture. If I lose her, there's going to be a gaping hole inside of me. She went over to mama and hugged her too. I just stood there with tears in my eyes, oblivious to what they were saying, so wrapped up in my own thoughts. I felt Lori Anne lock elbows with me.
"Don't think I can't read your mind there honey." She said in a quiet voice. I blinked back a few tears.
"What do you thinks' on my mind?" I asked not looking at her.
"You're thinking about what life will be like if you lose her." I didn't say a word. "You're not going to lose her Reba." I still didn't say a word, I couldn't. "Even if you do lose her, you still have all of us. You're not going to be alone if she does leave honey." She said trying to comfort me. I pulled my arm out of hers and looked at her through narrowed, tear filled eyes.
"You have no idea what I've got to lose with that little girl. You don't understand and I don't expect you too; you don't have a child. You don't know her like I do Lori Anne; you have no idea what I've been through or what she has." I said feeling my heart break a little bit. "She may not be mine and everyone seems to think I'll just move on but that's not true. She's my baby, I may not have given birth to her but it's damn well close enough." I said a little louder than I should have; feeling my heart break and my anger rush out of me. Everyone was looking at me. I turned and headed for the path in the woods I use to walk when I was distressed. I need to calm down.
"Reba wait." Lori Anne said coming after me. She grabbed onto my arm. "Don't just storm off like that, you know that's not what I meant." She said frustrated too. I pulled my arm out of hers and walked away anyways. She just stood there. I went back in the woods and found the little creek I sat by most of the time growing up. I felt safe.
"Why're you doing this to me?" I asked looking up at the sky through the trees. "What did I do so wrong to deserve this?" I asked as a tear rolled down my cheek. I felt like my chest was getting tighter.
"I should've known." I heard Pake say from behind me. I wiped my eyes quickly and turned to look at him. He started over and sat beside me. "You always did come here and pray when you were upset." He looked up at the trees, leaning back on his elbows. "And you'd read the bible out loud when things were good." He made a face. "I never understood that. It's like you were reading it to the squirrels." I laughed a little.
"Reading to the squirrels?" he shrugged.
"No one was around to hear it." He looked over at me. "Why would you read it out loud by yourself?" I shrugged a little.
"I felt like I was talking to Him in a way. Like by reading it out loud He was right there beside me, holding a conversation with me." I paused for a long second. "It's stupid I know." I said shrugging again.
"That's not stupid honey; that actually makes a lot of sense."I smiled a little. "So are you gonna talk to me or what?" he asked looking over at me.
"I thought we were talking." I said making a face.
"You know what I mean." I let out a sigh.
"I don't know what to say Pake." I said looking at the water.
"What's the first thing that's bothering you?" I looked over at him stupidly. He rolled his eyes. "Besides little blondie." I rolled my eyes at his little nickname for her.
"Everything with Scott's getting better. But if I lose Hailey, I don't know what's going to happen between us." He didn't say a word, just kept his eyes forward, something Pake has never done. He always has something to say. "What?" he shrugged.
"I think you need to talk to Kyra."