Chapter 26: The Return
BPOV
The ride home is comfortable, which is not something I expected. Especially from Edward, I mean, I'd thought his attitude would be a bit more maudlin than than what it is, what with his mental break down and all. But hey, I was not really complaining. He's happy, so I'm happy. Throughout the whole ride my eyes keep drifting over to him, sizing him up, making note of any differences. Besides the slight bags under his eyes which are darker than usual, there aren't many.
The sky is still as thick with overcast as I remembered, but something about the day seems brighter. Maybe because I'm finally out, or maybe because Edward's by my side. I guess it could be a combination of both.
"And. . . Here we are." Edward announces, after driving up and down the street to find a decent place to park.
"Finally!" Alice exclaims from the backseat. I turn to see her quickly gather all the bags in her hands, with a wide smile on her face.
"Gee, Alice. What's got you so peppy?" I ask with a smirk.
"Life," she murmurs.
"Or Jasper. . . ."
"Who's Jasper?" Edward asks, adjusting his seat, back the way Emmett had it, I assume.
"No one - "
"My doctor." I say with a smirk.
"Your doctor?" he repeats with a hitched eyebrow.
"Her hot doctor." Alice adds.
"Yes, my very hot doctor." I agree, halfheartedly. I'm not going to lie and say he wasn't pretty damn gorgeous, because he was. His curly blonde hair and Texan drawl could have been a done deal for me if I hadn't met Edward already. And besides, I much rather prefer New York accents.
"Hotter than me?" he asks, pulling the keys out of the ignition, looking at me with a slight pout.
"Never," I promise, smiling at him cheekily.
He nods to himself, seemingly satisfied.
"Yeah, yeah Bella. We all know who you have the hots for," Alice mumbles with a smirk on her face.
I shoot her a look that tells her to shut her trap, which she does, but not without smirking at me first.
I hop out of the car, holding onto the car door to help Alice with my bags. Edward walks around with my giant teddy bear in one of his arms and my flowers in the other. He glances towards our apartments and then back at me, a concerned look on his face.
"Um, this isn't going to be too far for you is it?" he asks. It's just down the street.
"Edward," I roll my eyes and keep walking.
Alice has already started ahead of us, skipping happily down the street. I'll have to get the details out of her later.
By the time I've reached our apartments, Mr. Garrett is already holding the door for me.
"Bella!" he exclaims with a toothy smile.
"Hi, Mr. Garrett! How have you been?" I ask, dropping my bags on the floor to give him a hug.
"I'm fine, just fine. How are you? I trust you are feeling a lot better?" I nod. "Good, good. Now, Bella dear, I want you to know that if you need anything, me and Maggie are just a phone call away, you hear? Anything at all."
"Thanks, Mr. Garrett. I'll keep that in mind."
"Great, great! Ah, Edward! That package arrived for you a minute after you left. Shall I fetch it for you now?" Mr. Garrett bustles. I turn my head to look at Edward, who eases behind me, inhaling his scent as subtly as I possibly can.
"Um, later. If that's okay?"
"That's fine."
"Alright, well. We'll be seeing you," Edward says, guiding me towards the stairs. I let him, and throw a quick smile at Mr. Garrett. I feel my cheeks heats as Edward places his hand on my back. The physical contact has my mind reeling. I know it's a little silly, he's just touching my shirt, but I feel it. With just this simple contact I remember the way his hands felt in mine, how callused and firm they were. How my hands seemed to fit in them. Then I remember the kiss. . .
Yeah, I'm a goner. But in my defense, it's not like I've had that much experience anyway.
I take another peek at Edward. Does he even remember that kiss we shared in the hospital? Did it mean anything to him? It must have. I mean, he clearly liked it, didn't he?
Oh yeah, he did, Agnes snickers in my head. Thinking back to his reaction makes me blush even harder. Of course he was interested. His body made that quite. . .quite clear.
"What's got you blushing so hard, Ms. Swan?" Edward asks suddenly. His voice is husky and quiet, as if it's only meant for me. If only.
"Nothing, Mr. Cullen." I murmur, keeping close to him as we trudge up the stairs.
"Are you sure? You seem to be a little flustered. Are you feeling well?" he asks, taking a long look at me. I duck my head, my bangs falling into my face.
I blow a breath to clear my eyesight, but it falls right back into my eyes. It's been awhile since I've had a hair cut. I'll have to ask Alice if she knows any good spots.
"I'm fine, Edward."
"Are you - "
"Edward." I state sternly, eying him. We've finally made it up the stairs, so I lean against the wall behind me. I take a deep breath and look down at the floor then back to him. His green eyes are squinted at me, and he looks a bit nervous as the silence goes on. "I'm fine. Really I am. And. . . I sincerely appreciate everything you've done for me. Honestly I do, but. . ." I take another deep breath and Edward shifts uncomfortably.
Why does he look so nervous all of the sudden?
"Um, let's just not talk about it anymore, okay? I'm out, I'm fine, and I'm as healthy as I possibly can be. I don't. . . you don't have to worry." I say, smiling at him a little.
"Bella," he starts.
"No, Edward. None of that. I'm – just. I'm alright. You don't have to care so much, ya know? I mean, I know we're friends but - "
"Friends." he states, abruptly.
"Yeahhh?" I draw out, a little confused. That's what we were, weren't we? I mean, I pretty much remember him telling me that I was one of his best friends. And since he obviously doesn't want to further that. . . I mean, he's got a lot on his plate, and so do I. From what I gather from all the stories I've heard, relationships require a lot of hard work and patience and leave one ultimately vulnerable to the other. How much more vulnerable can I possibly be for someone?
That doesn't mean I don't want it, because I do. Lord knows I do. I've never wanted so much out of someone as much as I do with Edward. But Edward's wish-washy attitude and relationship with me, all though it has definitely improved, it just. . . isn't at that point yet. And he has things he needs to do, Alice has made that clear to me more than once. Hell when I first met her, she told me to give him time. And a relationship? I may be inexperienced, but I'm not that stupid to the point where I would selfishly expect that out of him.
No. I could wait. We both could. I hope. I mean, what other choice do we have?
"Right," he nods. "I'm sorry, I was under the impression that we. . ."
"We what?" I blurt, quickly backtracking and deleting that whole previous monologue from my brain.
What? Did he want a relationship now? I could do that.
No, Bella! No! Stop being selfish!
Selfish, hell! I deserve some happiness!
No! He's not ready. You just got out of the hospital for Christ's sake!
The hell with that! Agnes shouts, Let me have him!
"Nothing," Edward says quickly, straightening himself out. and jerking his head towards my apartment. "Come on." I just nod stiffly and follow behind him dumbly, a little upset.
This is what I meant. One moment I am completely sure and in control and then the next I'm confused as hell and not knowing where exactly we stand. That's Edward. I don't know if I'm mad at him or mad at myself.
When we get to my door, Edward knocks on my door. He looks down at me and smiles chastely.
"Surprise!" I hear as my door opens. It's Emmett's booming voice, accompanied by chiming peals of laughter from the background.
"Hi," I mumble, smiling confusedly up at him and around my apartment, which is adorned with streamers and confetti and rather large giant cake, sitting on my kitchen island. Oh, and the people gathered all around. I smile despite myself and step inside, only to be swept up into a bear hug by Emmett.
"Missed you, Bells." he murmurs into my hair. I hug him back, speechless.
I'm back home, safe and surrounded by friends. That much I am sure of.