This is my all time favorite update. I hope you guys enjoy it. You are almost caught up with where the fic actually is at the moment. Let me know what you think.
Everyone is so wrapped up in Meredith and their own grief that no one notices the familiar dark-headed figure walk through the front doors of the hospital with several females following behind him.
Derek inhales deeply as the double doors open in front of him. A week and a half. He has been gone for a week and a half and now he is back. He is back and today is the day that Meredith is supposed to tell him what she wants. Today is the day that they are supposed to find out the sexes of the twins. That is why he took an earlier flight. He didn't want to run the risk of missing her appointment. He would not miss her appointment. He refused to miss anything. He wants to be there for it all. He wants to be there for it all with her.
Unfortunately, the moment that he told his mother and sisters about his impending fatherhood they all decided that they would accompany him. They don't understand how complicated things are. They don't understand that at all.
Derek looks around the hospital and that is when he stops in his tracks. Everyone looks so sad, like someone died. He spots Mark over by the nurses' station and his mouth falls slightly open. Mark is crying. Mark doesn't cry. Derek walks towards him, but no one notices Derek's presence. He leans against the nurses' station, but Mark keeps his head down.
Derek: Who died?
Mark jerks his head up and he jumps back slightly. He blinks a couple of times, almost as if he is afraid that it is just his imagination playing tricks on him.
Mark: You did.
Derek starts back and stares at Mark for a moment.
Derek: What?
Mark points up to the television screen where the carnage from the plane crash is being televised. Derek stares at the screen and his mouth falls open. His family standing behind him claps their hands over their mouths as they stare at the screen.
Mark: We thought you were on that plane.
Derek doesn't take his eyes off of the screen as he answers.
Derek: I was supposed to be, but I changed my flight. I didn't want to miss Meredith's appointment.
Derek finally tears his eyes away from the screen as he feels Mark's strong arms wrap around him. Derek doesn't fight the embrace, but stands there numbly. He was supposed to be on that flight. He could be dead right now. He could be. Oh God.
Derek: Where's Meredith?
Mark pulls back and looks at Derek. He had forgotten about the state she was in.
Mark: They had to take her to an exam room to attempt to calm her down. She was freaking out.
Derek's eyes widen as he feels the panic within him begin to rise.
Derek: Is she okay?
Mark just shakes his head.
Mark: I don't know, man. I think they are having to sedate her right now.
Derek: Where is she?
Mark begins walking and Derek follows him. He feels as if his feet could not carry him fast enough. He forgets that his family is trailing behind them. His only thoughts are on Meredith and needing to see her. Everything else, all of the pain and the problems of the past few months, melt away.
They approach the door of the exam room and Derek can hear her sobs. They tear at his heart strings and cause him to begin to run. He needs to reach her. He needs to take away her pain. He needs to. All of her friends are standing around her door and they turn to look at him as they hear someone approaching. He fails to notice the tears in their eyes as their mouths fall agape in shock at his reappearance from the dead.
He skids to a halt in the doorway to her room and the sight before him brings tears to his eyes. Chief is holding down her arms as Meredith struggles against his grip. Addison is standing next to Meredith, tears running down her cheeks, as she tries to replace the oxygen mask over her face. Derek's eyes quickly take in Meredith's tangled hair and tear stained face. He notices the look of anguish and pain on her face before his eyes travel further down her body. Her body is contorted as she struggles against the Chief. The IV in her arm threatens to be pulled out as she struggles. He then notices the fetal monitors that are wrapped around her stomach. It is as his eyes are resting on her stomach that her voice reaches his ears.
Meredith (sobbing): No. NO. Let me go. No. I can't. Please. Let me go. I need him. I can't. Oh God. No. No. NO. NO. He can't. He…no…Let me go to him…please…I don't…NO…Oh God..
Derek feels the tears running down his cheeks. No one has noticed him yet. His family stands behind him, tears now running down their cheeks as they watch the scene in front of them. Derek takes a step into the room.
Derek: Meredith.
He is hoping to make her aware of his presence, of the fact that he isn't dead. All of the heads in the room snap in his directions, all of them but Meredith's. Addison puts her hand over her mouth as she stares at him. The Chief opens his mouth a couple of times before he is able to find words. Meredith. Meredith's screams in anguish as she believes that his voice is originating in her mind.
Meredith (almost screaming): Please. Please come back for me. Please, Derek! Oh God!
Sobs shake her body and she curls into herself as the Chief releases her from his grip.
Chief: We thought..
Derek takes a few more steps into the room.
Derek: I took an earlier flight.
The Chief nods and quickly wipes away the tears that have fallen. Addison clears her throat.
Addison: We have given her a sedative, but it isn't working. You need to get her to calm down, Derek. Her BP is too high.
Derek doesn't take his eyes off of the shaking form that is lying on the bed in front of him. The Chief steps out of his way as Derek approaches the bed.
Derek: Meredith.
A loud and anguished groan escapes Meredith as she curls up into an even tighter ball. The fetal monitor starts to beep loudly as she moves it out of place.
Derek takes another step forward so that he is now standing next to the bed. He reaches down and places his hand on her shoulder.
Derek: Meredith.
Meredith turns abruptly and stares at him. Her eyes widen as she stares at him for a moment. She quickly jumps up and reaches out to him, the IV ripping out of her arm, but she doesn't feel it. She doesn't care. She reaches out and begins grasping at Derek, needing to touch him, needing to feel him, needing to know that he is really there.
As soon as her fingers graze the soft material of his sweater she starts crying anew. Derek runs his fingers through her messy hair as she clutches his sweater in her tiny fist.
Meredith: Derek? Derek??
Derek leans down and places a soft kiss on her forehead.
Derek: Shh…it's okay…I'm here…
Meredith shakes her head forcefully. There is blood trailing down her arm, but she doesn't notice.
Meredith: You're dead. Your plane crashed. You're dead. You left me. You promised you wouldn't leave me.
Derek cups Meredith's face in his hands..
Derek: I took an earlier flight, Meredith. I'm here. I'm here, Mer. I'm not leaving you. I promise. I am here.
It finally dawns on Meredith that Derek is alive and she begins to run her fingers quickly but softly over his face. She wants to memorize him. She wants to engrain him into her memory. She wants to feel him alive beneath her touch.
She runs her fingers over his chest until they come to rest at the hem of his sweater. She begins to tug on it. Derek chuckles, trying to make light of the situation.
Derek: I don't think now is the time, Mer.
Meredith ignores him as she tugs harder.
Meredith: I need to hear it. I need to feel it. I need to feel your heart, Derek. I need to feel you breath. I need to feel you live. I need to…
Meredith begins to sob again and Derek quickly reaches down and pulls his sweater over his head. He lies down on the bed next to Meredith as she tries to pull him down. He unbuttons his undershirt as Meredith's soft hands continue to roam over him. Meredith's tears wet his shirt as she waits impatiently to be able to feel his chest, to feel his life. The blood from her arms begins to stain his shirt as well, but she still doesn't notice.
As soon as Derek's chest is exposed Meredith places her ear over his heart and she rests her hand on in front of her face. That is when Derek feels her blood that is beginning to run down his chest. He brushes a strand of hair out of her face as he can feel that she is already beginning to calm down.
Derek looks at Addison and motions to Meredith's arm. She nods and walks over to retrieve something to clean up the blood and to stop the bleeding. But Derek's attention is quickly drawn back to Meredith as he feels her tears on his chest.
Meredith: I love you. I love you. I don't hate you. I love you. I have always loved you. Oh God, I love you.
Meredith begins to sob again as she tries to get even closer to him. Derek runs his hand over her back as he feels her stomach pressing into him. It is the first time he has ever felt her stomach.
Derek: I love you too. I have always love you, Mer. I'm here. I'm here.
Meredith (sobbing): You can't ever leave me. Please. Please don't leave me, Derek. I can't….I can't live without you.
Derek looks at her shaking form through the tears in his eyes.
Derek: I promise I will never leave you, Meredith. I promise.
Meredith sniffles in response as Addison hands the materials that Derek asked for to him. He lifts her bleeding arm off of his chest and begins to clean her up. She lets him. She doesn't protest. She doesn't protest as the rise and fall of his chest combined with his still beating heart attest to his existence.
As soon as Derek finishes bandaging Meredith's wound and cleaning up her blood he looks up and meets several crying faces. All of her friends, his family, Addison, Mark, and the Chief are all watching them with tears cascading down their faces. He feels Meredith's body begin to relax in his arms as the sedative finally begins to kick in. Derek continually runs his hand up and down her back as her breathing deepens.
His family sees her love for him as does everyone else. Meredith is no longer the only person who doesn't know that Meredith loves Derek.
Derek looks up at Addison as she readjusts the fetal monitor that is strapped across Meredith's abdomen. Derek smiles weakly at her through his tears as she reaches down and squeezes his hand gently. Addison then exits the room, the rest of their audience exiting with her. Cristina comes back and closes the door, granting the famous couple their much needed privacy.
Derek feels his eyes getting heavy as Meredith's deep breathing signals her deep, drug induced slumber. For the first time in what seems like forever, Meredith and Derek fall asleep in each other's arms.
This entire fic has been leading to this update. This update was what started this fic. I was lying in bed...and this scene came to mind..and that is how this fic was created...The fic isn't over...by any means...but yeah...I really hope you liked it and I hope it was worth the wait.
-Marci