Chapter Twenty Five: Ready Or Not

Inside my parents car, it was quiet. My dad was inside a convenience store, and my mother and I sat quietly in the car. It was hot, especially for this time in January. I rolled down my window to let out the unbearable heat inside that was making me sick. I heard my mother sigh, and her breath was shaky, so I could tell she was holding back the tears.

"Mom, talk to me... please." I whispered. I leaned forward in the seat to look at her, but her face was directed out her side window as she wiped a tear from her eye.

"What is taking your father so long in there?" She simply whispered to herself.

"I'm sorry." I sobbed. I laid my head in my hands, and wished that I could go back. To the time when I was six and I fell down, skinning out my knee. My parents came running and helped me. I was their little girl then, and now, their little girl was having one of her own.

"Don't be." She finally whispered to me. She turned towards me and I saw that her face was smeared with make up from crying. "This isn't your fault." Her chin quivered, and I felt my stomach sink. Did they blame this all on Nathan? Did they really think that I was still a little girl, and had no part in the action?

"Mom, don't blame Nathan, this is just as much my fault as-"

"No." She whimpered again, "It's my fault. I haven't been there for the past.. God only knows how long." She turned her head and I heard her sob harder. I just shook my head, but couldn't speak. For years I had been blaming them for not being around, and thinking they didn't care. But my mother could see that herself. She knew, and I felt like... Actually, I wasn't feeling anything but sick.

"So..." I whispered, as my father got into the car.

"The line up in there is crazy." He explained, the started out on the road again, to go back home.

"August." I said to myself, trying to make this more real, more open. My father nodded and my mother sighed again. I ruined them, they weren't as terrible as I had made them out to be, and just when things were getting back together, I ruined them, I ruined everything.

"What are you doing?" A familiar voice whispered. I looked over at Lucas, as he sat next to me behind the counter. This was familiar, just like the first time Nathan broke my heart, Lucas was right here sitting behind this counter with me. Here I was again, except so much had changed. Lucas wasn't my best friend, he was just a guy who claimed to love me, and I guy I didn't love. He was merely an old acquaintance, and it really hurt to have to admit that. But he wasn't the only thing that had changed. I wasn't the same shy, dependant girl I used to me. Now, I was bolder, and able to stand on my own two feet. I felt like laughing and crying all at the same time, it's just crazy how much can change over a year.

"Sitting." I simply answered. I looked down at my hands in my lap. Since last night, I'd been afraid to look anyone in the eye, afraid that they might see through me, and see my secret.

"I can see that, but the café is closed, my mom's on holidays. What are you doing here?" Lucas asked me again, eagerly. Before, it would have been normal for me to hang out here, even if it was closed. It was my home away from home... with much better food. But now, I hadn't realized it would be so strange to see me here again, had it been that long?

"I'm just..." Oh so man words I could use right now. Confused, terrified, numb- pregnant. But instead, I stuck with... "Sitting. What about you, why are you here?"

"I was just passing along, I was on my way to meet Brooke and I noticed the lights and I came in..." he began to tell me.

"You and Brooke huh?" I asked, trying to take my mind off of my own issues.

"Yeah, we're giving it a shot, and it's actually going really well..." He continued with his story, but I couldn't help but daze off and think about my own problems, my own life. I was seventeen years old, my boyfriend was moving away, and I was going to be a mother. Lucas must have noticed the worried expression on my face, "What's going on Hales?" he asked and he used that name. I loved it, it was as if we were best friends again. I just looked at him, wondering if he was being polite, like someone would who you randomly see once or twice a year, or if he was generally concerned, like my best friend would be.

"Well, my life is... over." I whispered.

"Oh come on..." He chuckled, nudging me playfully, "Whatever it is, it can't be that bad." Then I stared at him, with all seriousness, and he knew.

"Oh..." I breathed, feeling my chin start to quiver a little, "It is."

I needed someone. Nathan was gone out for awhile, getting ready to leave the next day. My parents were, well, currently not speaking to me. Or looking at me, because apparently, after I told them the news, they said they'd never look at me the same. But all I could think of was, pretty soon no one would look at me the same, because I'd have a huge belly sticking out, and guilt written all across my face, along with regret and loneliness. But tomorrow Nathan would be gone, and at this second he had no idea that he was going to be a father, and I had no intentions of running to tell him right away either. Was that a terrible thing, because I mean, he was leaving to start a life all his own, who would I be to crush all of that for him, by tying him down back here in Tree Hill? But, I guess, what kind of person would I be not to?

All in all, I was stuck. I could probably turn to Bevin or Faith, but that still just wasn't what I was hoping or looking for. What was I looking for. Someone who could tell me the truth. They wouldn't lie to me and say it'd be fine and everything would work out. But instead, they'd say that even when it did get shitty, they'd be there, whether Nathan was or not.

So I walked up his front stairs, knowing that his parents were gone for the week. I laughed to myself at how ironic it was, that I'd never been here before, especially after how close him and I had gotten. When he answered the door, I immediately felt better. As if just seeing him, a friend like him, things would be better. Right away.

"Hey..." he smiled when he opened the door, then he saw the tears in my eyes. "Haley?" He said again, then pulled me in and hugged me as I wrapped my arms around him.

"Chase... I ..." But I couldn't speak. I didn't want to. For some reason, as the thoughts of having this huge commitment ahead of me, knowing that no matter what happened, my future was already planned out for me. I wanted to kiss him. Maybe I was just upset, or maybe I was, tired and confused, or too alone. But I plunged up and kissed him, hard on the mouth, and he didn't pull away.

Short, I Know. im Sorry... but, the LAST chapter is comin soon! wondering how ill work all this out in one chapter? you'll be suprised I guess... or maybe not... we shall see...

Review Anyways Okay? )

Michelley P.