Girls are Mean
"Remind me again why we are taking this class," James complained as he tucked his hand under his jaw and stared into the depths of the milky white orb that rested on the table in front of him.
Sirius sighed from his chair opposite of James's. He barely eyed the crystal ball before replying, "We need to spend quality time together, Prongs. You know, away from the girls."
"I just don't understand why we have to take this class of all classes. I mean, it's Divination! It's the most useless class ever invented. I wonder why Hogwarts even offers it."
"James," Sirius laughed as he rocked his chair back onto its hind legs. "It's a rubbish class that we use for guy time. Take it for what it is."
"I can hang out with you without having to take Divination," James rebutted.
Sirius merely shook his head and laughed once more. "No, you really can't. If Evans is even in a 100 meter radius, you are reduced to the mental capacity of a chocolate frog."
"Why the frog?" James asked.
"You know, mate. They've only got one good hop in them."
James joined in with Sirius's snickering. "Well," he began after he had managed to maintain a straight face. "You aren't much better when Rory even enters a room. I think you drool then more than you do as a dog."
"Touché," Sirius praised James as they both started to laugh again.
James laughed. "So that is why we take Divination. We need to get away from the women in our lives."
"I thought that was why we took History of Magic," Sirius mused, thinking out loud.
"No," James replied, shaking his head. "That's for general Marauder bonding. We put up with this nonsense for strictly you and me time apart from Remus and Peter."
"We did say we needed time away from the girls in our lives," Sirius laughed.
"So Divination is absolutely necessary."
"Disastrous things would happen if we didn't spend enough time together," Sirius voiced with a touch of sarcasm.
"Astronomical," James agreed.
"The plague would be released."
"Typhoons would wipe out millions of muggles."
"Fan girls would forget how to swoon."
"Because the hottest guys to ever exist would no longer be in the same room," Sirius finished for him with a cocky grin.
"Exactly," James chortled. Sirius laughed as well but then kicked James in the shin. "Bloody, ow! What the hell was that for?"
Sirius shushed James and then jerked to his right. "Professor Vague dost approacheth," he muttered out of the side of his mouth. James hid his grin as he directed his attention back to the swirling mist that resided inside the crystal ball. Professor Vague, although he did not always know what was happening in his classes, did not usually condone his and Sirius's behavior. His threatening to keep them in detention for the rest of their academic lives after they had started to bewitch objects to fly across his room in a faux Quidditch match comes to mind, for some reason. However, his odd, spacey attitude had resulted in Sirius's nicknaming him Professor Vague. In fact, they had been referring to him as that for so long, James could not even recall his real name.
"Mr. Potter," the man said, peering down at James with a far-away look in his eyes, as though he was concentrating on something much more important than the final class on a Friday afternoon. "Could you please predict Mr. Black's future for me? I'm sure this should be riveting."
"Sure, Professor," James replied, making an effort to not use his actual name. He glanced at the ball with skepticism. He was never very adept at Divination and was shocked when he had managed to scrape an Exceeds Expectations on his O.W.L. Nevertheless, he did not hold the subject in any esteem, so he had never exactly tried in class. "Er," he began, scratching his head. He looked at Sirius for help, but he was focusing too hard on not bursting out into fits of laughter to be of any use. James decided to abandon all hope of trying to be the least bit accurate and just went to the old stand-by. He made something up.
"Sirius is going to have a life-changing decision to make in the coming future, which will result in the demise of many," James invented wildly as he directed his gaze back up to
Professor Vague. He did not even dare to look at Sirius, who, by now, had forced his fist into his mouth to stop the guffaws of laughter from being heard.
"Very good, Mr. Potter," Professor Vague complimented James. "It's good to know that you have not forgotten the basics of Divination," he added as he left them to go speak with another table.
Just then, the dinner bell rang. James sighed. He and Sirius gathered their books and quills and tucked them into their bags in a rush. As soon as the two exited the classroom, they both exploded with laughter. Sirius, who was hunched over with his hands on his knees for support, turned to James.
"A life-changing decision?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Oh you know," James chuckled. "Tomorrow you are going to have to decide whether to wear black socks or charcoal ones. The whole world hangs in the balance!"
"Nothing like making up a load of rubbish for such a bollocks class," Sirius replied, clapping his hand on James's shoulder.
"Let's go eat," James suggested.
"Good idea," Sirius replied. "I'm starving."
"Sirius, learn to eat with your mouth closed," Rory said disdainfully.
"Yeah," Sarah agreed. "You eat like an animal."
"A mangy dog," James, whose own eating habits were also a little less than satisfactory, chimed in as well.
"I think that there is only one Marauder who actually has decent manners," Lily stated.
James sat up a tad straighter, ready for Lily's extolling.
"Remus," all three girls said in unison and then laughed at the outraged expressions on Peter's, Sirius's, and James's faces. However, the funniest by far was Remus, who had turned a bright pink and had attempted to hide behind a plate of baked potatoes.
"I can be polite!" James directed towards Lily.
"Can being the key word," Lily muttered into Rory's ear.
"I'm polite!" Peter argued, not noticing practically everyone at the table rolling their eyes.
"I, Sirius Black, am the quintessence of a gentleman."
"Where'd you learn such a big word, Sirius?" Rory asked.
"Yeah, they don't have them in the how-to-read section," James added with a smile.
"I peruse the occasional novel,' Sirius said as he took another bite of his chicken.
"He means the occasional adult novel," James murmured in an undertone to Peter, who promptly spit out his pumpkin juice.
"Gross, Pete!" Sarah exclaimed.
"Here you go," Remus said, offering Peter some napkins and putting his hand on Sarah's knee to calm her down.
"Moony" James asked. "How is it that you always get the girls?"
"Yeah," Sirius added. "Even our own girlfriends like you better!" he pouted.
"The trick is to not behave, well, the way you two do," Remus replied.
"I think it has something to do with his little bunny," Sirius stated.
"'Little bunny?'" Sarah asked skeptically.
"His 'furry little problem,'" Sirius rephrased, rolling his eyes.
"Yeah, he's damaged goods," James said.
"Thanks, Prongs," Remus muttered.
"He just means that you have that whole 'trouble life' aspect that girls go crazy for," Sirius explained.
"That's me," Remus spat sarcastically. "How about next full moon I just bite you two dunderheads?"
"Thanks, mate!" Sirius replied.
"Oh, Sirius," Rory sighed. "You are so much cuter when you don't open your mouth."
Sirius grinned and wrapped his arms around Rory, bringing his lips to her ear. "I think you would miss my tongue, love," he whispered tantalizingly into her ear.
As he did this, two Hufflepuff girls walked by. One of them, a blonde with a rather pointed noise, turned to her friend. "Look at Sirius Black with that girl," she said rather loudly as she pointed out the couple.
"I know," her friend replied acidly. "I thought they would have broken up by now. She must be a good shag."
"That's the only reason he would keep her around."
Rory turned around to stare at the two girls with the iciest glare she could muster under the circumstances.
"Oh," the first girl said, fully aware that everyone knew that Rory had been listening the whole time, but pretending like she was unconscious of the fact. "Hi Whory, I mean, Rory," she corrected herself before grabbing her friend by the arm and walking back to the Hufflepuff table, giggling the entire time.
"I'm gonna go," Rory said, dropping her fork down next to her only half-eaten dinner. "I just remembered that I have to do something," she added before hastily leaving the table and nearly sprinting out of the Great Hall.
"I need to go follow her," Sirius told his friends as he left the table and rushed after her.
"Rory!" Sirius shouted as he ran down the corridor after her. "Rory, come on!" he yelled again as he glimpsed Rory's dirty blonde ponytail round the corner. "Rory," Sirius said finally as he stopped and found her looking out a window with her back to him.
She did not say anything in response; she merely stared out the window as though she was admiring the cloudy weather.
Sirius pulled at his tie in an exasperated manner. "Love, don't listen to anything those bloody girls say. They're just two idiots trying to get a rise out of you."
Rory wiped a single tear away from her cheek before turning around to face Sirius. She was frustrated with herself for letting those two ruddy girls get to her, a tad annoyed with Sirius for not really grasping what was going on with her, and above all, pissed at those bitchy
girls. "You just don't get it, Sirius," she said.
"Then help me," Sirius pleaded.
Rory took a deep breath. "It's not just today," she said "This is the sixth time in this past week that I've overheard people saying rubbish about us being together. Well, mainly, it's just something rude about me. I just freaked this time because all of my friends were there to hear it, too. And you were there," she finished, looking up at him.
"Rory, you know none of it is true, right? I'm not in this for a shag. You aren't just some girl to me. This is different."
"You say it is, Sirius," Rory began, "but do you really mean it?"
"Of course I do!" Sirius exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. "Have I ever given you any reason to doubt me?"
"No," Rory replied. "It's just that I don't know if I can take much more of this."
"Are you saying that you don't want to be with me anymore?" Sirius asked, unable to hide the hurt look on his face.
"Of course not!" Rory answered. "But I don't want to be called 'Whory and Black' ever again."
"Then we'll just have to give the pathetic girls of Hogwarts something else to call us."
"Like what? Sirius Black and the girl he is currently dating?" Rory asked dryly.
"Well, I was thinking something along the lines of Sirius Black and the girl he is madly in love with."
"It's a tad long, don't you think?" Rory replied, smiling despite herself.
"Aurora Black sounds pretty good to me," Sirius suggested.
"Aurora Black," Rory tried out the name, enjoying the way her lips formed the words. "It has a ring to it, but I don't know if it's that simple, Sirius."
"We can make it that simple."
"How?" she asked.
"First off," Sirius answered. "We'll 'accidentally' set off about a hundred or so dumgbombs in the Hufflepuff Common Room, and then we'll take things from there."
Rory laughed. "I guess this is the price for dating Sirius Black," she sighed.
"I'm sorry," Sirius replied quietly. "I wish there was a way I could change that."
"I'll manage," Rory said. "Those girls don't scare me."
"I'd bet a million galleons you could take them," Sirius laughed. "We could even throw some mud in there to make it more--"
"Sirius!"
He threw his head back and laughed. When it had subsided, he said, "I love you, Aurora Daniels."
"I love you too, Sirius."
Sirius engulfed her in a warm embrace and then kissed the top of her head before pulling away. Hand-in-hand, they walked to the witch's statue, the nearest secret passage way to Hogsmeade, to see a man about acquiring some dungbombs.
Later that night, James and Lily were patrolling the second floor for delinquents out after curfew. The night had been rather uneventful so far. All they had found was a second-year couple snogging in a broom closet when they were about to do the same.
"My feet hurt," Lily announced suddenly. She wiggled free of James's grasp around her waist and turned around to face him. James took a step backward in surprise. They had been silently strolling through the barren corridors for the past 45 minutes and then suddenly--
"My feet really hurt," Lily reiterated with a wince.
"Maybe that's because you've been wearing those torture devices called shoes for the past week and a half, Lils," James suggested.
"They are not torture devices!" Lily argued. "These happen to be very fashionable shoes!" she added, lifting up her left foot to show James.
He eyed the shiny red pump warily. It was strappy and had a long, spindly heel that looked like it might snap if a particularly strong gust of wind happened to come through the
corridor.
"James!" Lily squealed as she noticed his gaze had left her foot and was now slowly traveling up to the hem of her black skirt. She whacked him on the arm.
"Hey!" James replied, holding his hands up in surrender. "It's not like I told you to wear them!"
"It's just that you are so much bloody taller than me!" Lily explained.
"Sorry, Lils, I'll go back I time and change my DNA, okay?"
"I'll get the Timeturner," Lily muttered. "While you're there, can you change a few other things, as well?"
"Like what?" James asked indignantly.
"Like that abomination you call hair," Lily laughed, reaching up to tousle it with her fingers.
"I happen to know for a fact that my hair is one of the things you love the best about me."
"Yeah, says who?"
"You," James laughed.
"Damn," Lily muttered. "I need to stop telling you things. I still think that our height differences are a bloody nuisance, though," she added.
"I like that you have to look up to see me," James mused quietly as he lifted Lily's chin up and held it between his thumb and pointer finger.
"Well, maybe you do, but I sure--" she was cut off by James's finger being pressed onto her lips.
"And I like that you have to stand on your tip-toes to kiss me."
"You're going to break your neck from leaning down so much," Lily murmured before closing the gap between her and James with her lips. When she finally resurfaced for air, Lily gasped. "Oh, sweet Merlin!"
"I know," James replied cockily. "I do that well."
"No, you pompous git," Lily spat. "My feet!" she finished, practically biting back tears.
"Sit over here," James said, guiding Lily over to a nearby bench. "Put your feet together."
"And what? Say 'there's no place like home' three times?" Lily asked acidly.
"What?"
"Oh, never mind. It's a muggle thing," Lily sighed.
"Oh," James replied as he examined Lily's feet. She had really done a number on them. As he had suspected, they were covered in blisters. He waved his wand to repair the damage.
"You wouldn't really get the reference, being pureblood and all," Lily continued, her eyes squeezed shut as if that would help alleviate some of the pain.
"That's one thing I love about you, Lily," James said, now performing a cushioning charm on the left shoe and moving to do the same on the right. "You come from two completely different worlds."
"That's me," Lily agreed. "I'm the girl whose both magic and muggle and still does not have the proper sense to wear comfortable shoes."
"Which world do you like better?" James asked as he sat down beside Lily on the bench.
"They're both wonderful," Lily said, opening her eyes finally and turning slightly to smile at James. "The muggle world has my family and my home and all my childhood memories. But in the magical world, everything is new and exciting. Hogwarts is the most amazing place I have ever been to. I feel so lucky that I am able to be here, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to go home every summer. Though, I must say, recently the wizarding world seems to have a slight advantage."
"Only slight?" James questioned, pulling Lily to her feet.
"Yep," she replied.
Lily's eyes went huge. "It doesn't hurt anymore!" she cried.
"I know," James replied. "I charmed them for you."
Lily flung her arms around James's neck and kissed him. "You are a god among men," she stated. "Why did I ever wait so long to go out with you?"
"I dunno," James shrugged. "How could anyone ever resist my amazing good looks, wonderful personality, and Potter charm?"
"Oh, right," Lily said flatly. "That's why."
James laughed as he grabbed Lily's hand and began walking down the corridor again. A few
minutes later, he stopped suddenly and said, "You know? I like your shoes."
"Oh, really?"
"Yes, the sound they make is incredibly sexy."
"James!"
A/N: poor rory. cute sirius. adorable james. it's the perfect combination, really. haha. please tell me what you think!