Chapter 26: Return to Form
Process matters.
As much as I would like to wake up with my condition cured overnight, I have to be realistic. Change is a gradual thing, and results arrive not from magical thinking, but from down and dirty process. It requires time, patience, and all the things that people generally try to avoid—inconveniences such as effort, thinking, and planning. Once I lay it all out, I have to stick with the plan as much as possible, because the moment I try to cut corners is the moment I get burned, and I don't like to get burned.
I think Rikku and Hayner have something going on between them.
It's an innocuous suggestion at first glance, but one with grave implications. I have to be careful about this. One drop of water can disturb the whole pond. If I carelessly drop this into the Destiny High gossip network, it might be the first thing on everybody's lips the next morning, and that's not what I want. The difference between posting this at night and day is—well, night and day. I can't control information completely, but if I post this in the middle of the night, when most students are asleep, propagation will be slow—not to mention, Selphie's safeguards against junk rumors will be quick to react.
Selphie practices strict quality control. Just because she's gossip queen doesn't mean everything sticks. She has a reputation to uphold. Accuracy is a prized and valuable commodity, and it's something that she has in spades. She holds a startling 70% accuracy rate, a hard-earned number achieved through tight screening procedure. She didn't claw her way to the top by throwing out the juiciest rumors; she got there by being right.
Once I submit my post on Selphie's Kupo page, it will last for probably six minutes before it'll get trashed. A random Kupo by some generic username isn't going to last long, but six minutes is enough for my plan.
The Destiny High rumor mill works like a pyramid, and at the very top is Selphie. In the middle are rumormongers who specialize in specific gossip. They're divided into categories like grade, from freshmen to seniors; by party involved, like teacher or student; by nature of the act, either infidelity or violence; and among others. At the bottom is the student population that eats up everything that trickles down from above. While Selphie has a stranglehold on the mass market for general rumors, the niches are served by middlemen.
Gossip is a lucrative enterprise, and there will always be people who want a slice of that pie. Those who spread rumors gain notoriety and credit, and with credit is the ability to make life difficult for others, and that translates into power. The market didn't come on its own until Destiny High Times started filming here. The producers noticed how ratings increased when the cast had to wrangle with rumors, so they sponsored a new era of hearsay and speculation.
Destiny Islands thrives on rumors. It's only natural that our school, a mirror of our society, has a similar system in place. I'd be an idiot not to take advantage of it.
The vultures known as middlemen will pick apart the carcass of my Kupo and disseminate its remains immediately. Due to the dubious nature of middlemen, the trickle will be slow. By the time it reaches the student population, it'll join the ranks of other unsubstantiated rumors. The only ones who'll put stock in it are those with a vested interest—namely Olette.
Which is why I can't submit this post right now; there are too many eyes. If I release this too early, it will force a premature confrontation between Hayner and Olette, and I can't have them sorting out the issue before the pièce de résistance a la Rikku. I need Olette to be on edge the next morning, and then punch her in the gut with Rikku wearing her necklace.
You might think I'm overdoing it, but there's no such thing as being too careful. The events of yesterday are still fresh in my mind. My hastiness—or perhaps desperation—made me lose my cool, and I ended up spilling my greatest secret to another person—and a girl at that.
What can I say? She pried it out of me. It was on her turf, she had the leverage, and I was at my wit's end, cornered like a rat with no way out. I had no choice but to bite.
The only way I can get back into game is if I scheme, after all, it's what I do best. Nothing can match that feeling of watching a plan unfold exactly as I envisioned. It doesn't always work out the way I expect it to, but problem solving, no matter how messy it is, is still solving a problem.
I scheduled my post to show up at 4 in the morning. For all that hand wringing, the resulting action is as simple as that. Even the smallest actions can hold a wealth of intent. The margin for error is thin. If I fail, it will be spectacular. No matter how nasty the fallout, Hayner can't pretend that he didn't ask for it.
I gently stroke Tabby, who's been warming up my lap. The cat purrs appreciatively, exhaustion evident in its soft mewls. "You and me both."
Footsteps run up the stairs. With that kind of weight, it must be Roxas. I look at the guitar case leaning against the bed and recall all the trouble I had to go through in order to get it. It had better be worth it. I stand up, pick up the instrument, and carry it towards the door before peeking into the hallway. My cousin stands there seemingly lost in thought. "Yo."
"Oh, hey," he says, caught off guard by my greeting. "I was just, uh…" Dawdling around like an idiot? Yeah, I know.
"I got something for you." I open the door wider and show off the guitar. "What do you think?"
"Whoa, is that what I think it is?" His eyes light up like a kid on Christmas day. He crouches down and opens up the case. His fingers slide across the strings tenderly. "This looks…vintage." He takes it out and holds it in playing position. "How'd you get this?"
"I called in a favor… I think." I shouldn't owe Rikku anything for this. My secret is payment enough. "I've been curious as to how good you are."
He bows his head in embarrassment. "Don't expect too much. Let's see…" He tweaks the strings lightly. "Looks like it's tuned properly. Okay, here goes." He takes the pick and strums it across, wringing out a pleasant hum. He tests out a few chords but they sound out of rhythm. "Sorry, it's been awhile since I played."
"Why are you making excuses to me? Go practice."
"You're right." He puts the guitar back into the case. "Hey, Sora…" he trails off.
"What is it?"
He stares at the case and shuts it. "Never mind."
I suppress a sigh. "Am I gonna have to pry it out of you?"
"It's just a question I already know the answer to," he answers. "So there's no point in asking. Thanks for the guitar. I won't let it go to waste." There's more to it, I can feel it, but poking anymore will only make him retreat further. I'll just have to let it go.
"In that case, good night."
He nods and carries the guitar into his room.
I'm exhausted, and I've done all I can for tonight. There's nothing left to do except clock out. I drop my head on the pillow and teleport into the future.
With a new day comes new challenges. Life is a never ending struggle, and that goes double for those with mental issues. I don't doubt that there are countless others like myself suffering in silence. The only we can do is take it one day at a time.
Compared to yesterday, my walk to school is butter smooth with nary a bump in sight. Popularity is a fickle thing. Merely twenty four hours ago, I was public enemy number one, but today, I'm nobody. If I were anyone else, I might lament my breezy ten minutes of fame, but I say good riddance.
I arrive to school with an extra bounce in my step. Life's easy when you know what to expect. Unfortunately, nothing is guaranteed. One small miscalculation and even the best laid plan can collapse like a flimsy house of cards.
I'm here a little earlier than usual, and I've got about ten minutes to spare before first period. Even though there's no reason for me to hide out, I decide to go to the art room. I should be maximizing my time with a bonafide celebrity anyways. It's not a chance that comes around often.
I open the door and spot Naminé planted behind a canvas. She pokes her head out and eyes me warily. "Wasn't expecting you to show up."
"I got some time to kill." I walk around the desks and examine her painting. I see a mess of yellow and brown paint on top of stick figures. She is truly a terrible artist. "What's that supposed to be?"
"Just a scene from my show," she answers cheerily.
"It sucks."
She giggles. "I appreciate your honest opinion." My criticism doesn't deter her from vandalizing the poor canvas even further. I feel sorry for it. You must endure, canvas, I know you were meant for better things! "How quickly the winds change. It's not unlike the entertainment world. One day, you're a rising star, and the next, you're a washed up nobody."
"Surely, you're not speaking from experience?"
"No, but I see it all the time. And just as soon a star dips, either another one takes its place, or it comes back brighter than before. You've yet to shine, Sora. All you need is…the right stage." There's an underlying implication to that statement that I don't like at all.
"Thanks, but no thanks. My days of fame are long over. I'm happy being normal."
"Is that what you call yourself? Normal?"
"It's the truth," I assert firmly, if only because I'm trying to convince myself.
"If that's what you believe." She signs her name at the corner with her brush and nods in approval. "Can you help me up?" She stretches out her hand, but she's not wearing her gloves.
I gulp. This isn't just any hand; this is the naked hand of Stella Star, the daintiest of all dainty hands. It's slender, immaculately manicured, and infinitely feminine. Her head is still shrouded in a hood, which mitigates her overall image, allowing me enough breathing room to grasp her warm fingers. She slides off the seat and grazes my knuckles with her feather light touch, leaving a trail of tingles on my skin. I clench my teeth too keep myself from losing my head.
She slips on her gloves, oblivious to my struggle. "I'm looking forward to our date after school today."
"When did it become a date?" What's with these girls and their "dates?" It's just a friendly outing!
"If it's between a boy and a girl, it's called a date," she says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "I'll see you in class." She runs out before I can reply.
I take a few moments to gather my wits. I almost forgot that I planned an engagement with her. The hand job she gave me earlier threw me off. I chalk it up to her star power. If she were a normal girl, I probably wouldn't be sweating so much.
I'm starting to rethink things with Naminé. I might've let her celebrity status blind me the other day, because she's been acting erratic. Can't she pick a character and just stick with it? She's gone from super shy to perplexingly playful in such a short amount of time. I can't pin her down at all.
Alright, recovery complete. I exit the art room and head to first period. I open the door only to meet Ms. Holland's determined gaze from across the room. My hair stands on end from the sheer force of her will. Shit. She's not backing down. Sometimes, you knock somebody down so hard; they come back at you with a vengeance. I should've known better than to think that she would roll over and play dead for me.
"Hikari, I won't lose to you today!" she declares, aiming her finger at me in threatening fashion. Now that's just rude, and annoying. This must be karma for everything I've gotten away with. As long as she doesn't get in my face, Lightning style, I should be okay.
I take my seat and ignore her pointed stares. It's hot enough to set lesser men ablaze. I turn to the adjacent seat and spot Xion giving me a bored glance. "Good morning."
"Tch." She turns away as if laid on my lamest pick up line on her.
"That's not a proper response to a greeting, you know?"
"It's not something worth responding to," she argues. "The more I talk to Roxas, the more I'm convinced that…" I'm a nice guy? He must be fighting for my cause. Good job, Roxas. I knew you were good for at least something. "That you're a manipulative asshole." Never mind. Screw you Roxas! What the hell have you been telling her?
"What? Didn't you just apologize to me yesterday?"
"It's clear that he respects you, but the way he puts you a pedestal is unhealthy. It reminds me too much of… It's not good. I don't know what your intentions are, but I doubt it's anything good. I know what kind of person you are, Sora. You say nice things, but that's all it is, empty words. As long as you get what's yours, it doesn't matter how many other people get hurt."
"Be careful about the accusations you throw out there," I warn. "You wouldn't want it to blow up in your face." I hate it when people get preachy on me. Can't I go one day without somebody thinking they got me all figured out? Nobody knows me but me. "You don't know anything about me, so I'd appreciate if you'd stop pretending that you do."
"And what do you know about Roxas?"
"What about him?"
"You see, that's what I mean. All I'll say is this: if you hurt Roxas, I won't forgive you."
"That's my line," I mutter. Looks like Xion and Roxas are getting along just fine, enough that she'd be flying to his defense. Confidence is what he needs, not a white knight on his behalf.
First period is off to a bad start, and it only gets worse from here. As part of her revenge plot, Ms. Holland picks on me for every question in class despite my sarcastic remarks.
"Sora, do you know the answer?"
"No, but I'm sure the other students who are actually raising their hands do."
"So you don't know. Class, don't be like Sora and study hard so that you'll be able to answer questions correctly." And she goes on her merry way, lecturing with reckless abandon and gleefully enjoying my irritation. The wilting rose bares its thorns at last, and it pricks.
The bell rings mercifully, ending this bout of cruel and unusual punishment. If the teacher wants to act like a vindictive grade schooler, then that's fine. Better she do that than harass me with hugs and kisses—not that she would, but some forms of harassment are preferable to others.
I grab my bag and slip out of the room before she could rub it in my face any further. Today's like opposite day. The tables have turned and everything's gone topsy turvy. The Hayner-Olette plan is my only redemption. I'll have to salvage the day somehow.
I enter second period, History with Tifa, and instinctively watch for Olette. She looks under the weather. The dark circles beneath her eyes, the teeth-chattering agitation, and the repeated clutching of her skirt point to definite unease. My rumor has found its mark. I take out my phone and quickly scan the Kupoverse. My rumor's deader than a doornail, which means my shrewd info drop worked. That's the set up, the only thing left is the punch line, and that won't happen until nutrition.
"What's eating you?" I ask as I take my seat.
"Huh? Oh, hey Sora… Nothing's eating me, what makes you say that?" Because I see the giant monster known as jealousy chewing on your helpless mind.
"You look nervous."
"Really?" She laughs nervously. "It must be stress from school."
"Even though we're only four days in?"
"Oh? W-well, my other classes are killer," she excuses.
I keep my mouth shut and play it straight. Nutrition may be the first time Hayner and Olette meet today. Ideally, Olette woke up this morning to the preposterous suggestion that Rikku and Hayner are an item. With such devastating news, she'd probably need some time to herself before a confrontation.
Too bad, Olette, because time's up.
I take out my phone and text Hayner.
Sora: Introduce me to Olette at nutrition.
I believe it's time for the grand meeting, and this will give me a pretext to supervise and direct the proceedings. In case you're wondering, I pilfered Hayner's number from Roxas' cell phone when he wasn't looking. Besides, something as plain as acquiring phone numbers shouldn't require an explanation.
Hayner: today?
My text implied as such.
Sora: Yes.
He takes an awful long time to reply.
Hayner: dunno if thats gonna work she hasnt been replyin to me lately
That confirms my hypothesis. Damn, I'm good.
Sora: Just send her a text to meet you in the courtyard. I'll handle the rest.
Hayner: fine
Oh ye of little faith, have a little more trust in me. I keep an eye on Olette and catch the moment she receives his text. She sneaks a glance at her lap and I call out to her, "Olette!"
She jumps. "W-what is it?"
I attempt my best motivational speech, "You say you're stressed out about school, right? I guess I can relate. When you look at the syllabus, all those assignments and percentages can be daunting. You know what helps me get through it? I clear things up with the teacher. For instance, this final project is worth 30% of our grade, which sounds terrible at first glance, but when you get down to the nitty gritty, it's not so bad." Okay, I know I'm reaching with the metaphors, but that's what she gave me. It's the best I could do with such weak material.
She's completely bewildered. "Thanks…?"
"All I'm trying to say is, the best way to get rid of stress is to get rid of uncertainty. Get the answers you need, and I guarantee it's not as bad as you think." I don't think I can make it any more obvious than that while maintaining the illusion of ignorance.
"I… I think I understand. Yeah, I'll just ask him about it…"
"Him?"
"The teacher—I'll ask the teacher about it!" she covers quickly.
I grin. "That's the spirit." Whew, I think I convinced her. She seems to be hyping herself up in preparation. Glad I got through. I just have to add one last player before the stage is set. I punch in my message and send it.
Sora: You ready?
I don't get anything. Come on, reply already. My plan will be for naught if you're not there!
Rikku: ya… hope u kno what ur doin
I let out a sigh of relief and laugh. Who does she think I am? As long as everybody plays their part, everything will go splendidly.
It's high time I get back into my groove.