AN: Hey lovelies, I'm sorry for the delay I was in Georgia seeing my best friend graduate from the military. Just a heads up, the bold italics are flash backs from some of the things Callie said to Arizona when she cheated. Anyway, enjoy.
How Not To
Chapter Twenty-Five
(Arizona P.O.V.)
This cannot be happening. Not a chance in hell. Unable to form words I nod in the direction of Lauren as she makes her way to stand beside me at the head of the table. Upon receiving an apologetic glare from Bailey, I turn and face the rest of the room even though the five sets of eyes behind me have been burning holes in my back. My eyes automatically fall on Callie who is sitting abnormally calm for the situation. Her face is relaxed. Her shoulders aren't tensed. Okay, so she's either unfazed or so pissed she's calm. Both options are horrible. I shake my head slightly to myself in agreement.
I chance a look at the woman standing beside me who is explaining the procedure to the board members. I can feel my stomach start to form knots. My insides feel like their turning inside out. The sound of my own heart pounding in my ears becomes deafening. The memories of that night come crashing through my mind. I'm going to pass out. I feel it. I try to control my breathing but it doesn't help. I feel eyes on me. I'm too scared to look up to find out whose. I jump at the small voice whispering in my ear.
"Robbins, take a walk." I nod my head as Bailey places a hand on my shoulder and gives it a light squeeze. I take a chance to look at Callie who has her eyes set on me. I take a deep breath when I see only love and concern coming from her. I give her a nod letting her know to come find me when she's done in here. When she nods in understanding I quickly make my exit. Once I'm out of the room my vision starts to blur over with unshed tears. Apparently, I lost you. I start off walking but the farther away I get from the room the faster I walk causing me to end up in a full on run.
My body makes full force contact as I hit the door to stairwell causing the door to crash open. How could you! We have a child! We're married! Hunching over I try to calm my erratic breathing. I lean against the wall and slide down it. I close my eyes and relish in the cold cement behind me. I cover my face with my hands as I feel a panic attack coming on. She shows up here with this act and you're just going to take her side. It's an act! I can't catch my breath. Things start going black. My body starts shaking as my chest tightens. I don't think it was a mistake. I pull my knees up to my chest. The seconds that pass feel like minutes. When the door to the stair well swings open I jump and look over at who the culprit is.
"Arizona?" I tense when it's not Callie's voice. I slightly calm down as I see navy blue scrub pants and not the black dress slacks that Lauren was wearing. My eyes fall on to the black and grey paisley print clogs Meredith wears. She turns to face me but I can't meet her gaze. I can't bring myself to look up at her. She slides down the wall beside me. "What do you need?" I start shaking my head in an attempt to calm my raging thoughts.
"Callie?" I know she knew the name was a question rather than statement. Fear sets it when Meredith doesn't answer right away. She ran. She didn't give me a second thought after seeing Lauren.
"She got paged 911 to the pit a few minutes ago." I nod my head. We fall into a silence. I feel myself starting to calm down with Meredith's presence beside me. Leaning my head on her shoulder I let a few tears fall that have been threatening to slip. "Everything is going to be okay." I don't move from her shoulder but I place my hand on top of hers as she places it on my knee.
"How are you so sure? She tore Callie and I apart the last time she was here. I can't lose her again Mer. We're so good right now. We're finally back together. But what if Callie seeing Lauren makes her want to back out. That seeing Lauren reminds her of all the mistakes I made." I let out a sob I had been holding back at the thoughts of losing Callie again. I close my eyes as Meredith squeezes my knee tightly.
"Arizona, you two are so much stronger now than you were back then. It all comes down to a choice. You made your choice last time and it wasn't the best. Callie isn't the one to turn and run at the first sign of trouble. She has changed. She doesn't want to lose you either. She has accepted your mistakes. She loves you regardless. This is just one hurtle. You both can make it past this. She says you two have been talking. Keep talking to her. You need to communicate. Don't let this one thing tear you two apart already." I look up to meet her gaze with blurry vision. I give her a sad smile that she returns. "Look close your eyes and think about this…" I do as she says and I empty my mind. "Sofia yelling for you or Callie because her younger sibling keeps pulling on her hair. The dogs running around the dining room. You're standing in the kitchen washing dishes from dinner. Callie walks up behind you and wraps her arms around you with her hands cradling your swollen baby belly." I feel a lump forming in my throat as I paint this scene in my mind. I feel a smile pulling on my lips.
"You can't forget the chickens outside." I open my eyes when I hear a laugh from Meredith.
"Callie was serious when she said you had a thing for chickens huh?" I nod as my smile gets bigger. "Well, my point is. Don't jeopardize your future. Something you want. Because of a fear from the past. You are strong Arizona. You're a good man in a storm. Don't forget that." I pick my head up from her shoulder and meet her gaze.
"Thank you." I offer her the best smile I can at the moment as I wipe my face of tear streaks.
"No problem." She stands up and offers me a hand up which I gladly take. Once I'm up I make my way to the door but Meredith grips my wrist which causes me to spin around and face her. "Arizona…?" I cock my head to the side.
"Yeah…" She takes a step forward and give me a hug. My arms wrap around her as the rest of my worries float away at the contact from a friend.
"I know we're not best friends but I'm here. Whenever you need me. We have more in common than just a plane crash…" She pulls back and gives me a sad smile.
"Thank you, Meredith. Really…" I watch as she makes her way through the door. After taking a few calming breaths and straightening my scrubs I finally make my way out of the stair well. I can feel the stares of the people I pass but I only greet them with a smile. I make my way to my office casually but in reality, I'm still freaking out.
Once behind the closed door I find a spot in the rolling chair behind my desk. I pull my hair tie from the end of my French braid and run my fingers through the weaved hair letting it fall into waves around my shoulders. I rest my head against the back of the chair as I close my eyes. It'll be okay. Meredith was right. We've both grown. Just because she's back doesn't mean she is going to try anything. I sit up straight and run my fingers through my hair then part it to give myself bangs in the front. Glancing around my office I look for different things to do but honestly, I know I need to go talk to Lauren about to case. I grab my phone from the pocket of my lab coat and debate on sending Alex a text asking him to give her our information on the case. With a huff, I decide to be the bigger person. But that can wait a few minutes. I contemplate on playing a round of Candy Crush but Panda Pop wins the battle. Becoming so wrapped up in beating the next levels I lose track of time and a knock at the door pulls me back to the real world. Pushing the home button on my phone I see about an hour has passed. I put my phone back in my pocket then the realization hits me… What if it's Lauren? A second wave of panic falls over me. Be cool Robbins. Don't freak out unless you have to! A second knock on the door startles me. Shit…
"Come in…" I bite the inside of my cheek in anticipation. A sense of relief washes over me as Callie makes her way into my office but a tiny sense of uneasiness still lingers because I still can't read her face. She's changed into her scrubs and her hair has been pulled into a side braid. She doesn't say a word as she makes her way over to me. There's a glimmer of something in her eye that sends chills of worry running through my body. I know she sees the worry that's in my eyes because a small smile falls on her lips. Maybe she's okay. Just as I start to talk she brings her lips to cover mine as she rests her hands on the arm rests of the chair. All of the worry I had been carrying melts away in less than a second. I can feel my body physically relax. I'm caught off guard as Callie sits on her knees to get to eye level with me.
"I need you to listen to me. I need you to hear me. I need you to believe me." My heart breaks at the pleading in her voice and the concern that has started to become evident in her brown eyes. "I love you, so much. I trust you so much. I don't trust Boswell. You are in a better place now than you were back then when this happened. I trust that you won't put yourself in a situation to get hurt again. I love you. You love me. And none of the rest matters, right? I know you're worried. I can't tell you not to be but just know that I love you so very much. We can and will get past her. Together. I'm not going anywhere. I promise…" Callie places her hand on my cheek and I lean into the touch. Maybe things are going to be okay this time. I smile down at her as she wraps her arms around my torso. Callie's words sent me into a state of relief causing a weight to be lifted from my shoulders.
"Have I told you lately how much I love you?" A small chuckle falls from Callie which causes me to smile.
"Yes, you have actually. But I love you too." My eyes track her movements as she stands to sit on the edge of my desk facing me. "I just needed to come check on you. I was really worried when you pretty much ran from that conference room earlier…" My smile slightly falters as sadness and worry flashes through Callie's eyes.
"Yeah, Mer came and found me… she was a lot of help." I drop my gaze as my embarrassing break down runs through my mind again. Callie must've seen the look in my eyes because she hooks her finger under my chin and makes me meet her gaze.
"Hey, this can't be easy for you. I get that. But it's the past. We can't let it drag us down. I'm not the happiest person in the world right now because she's here but that doesn't mean I'm going to run away and start throwing your past in your face. It was a mistake. All those years ago. I love you. So much…" I can feel my heart breaking with every word she speaks. This woman loves still loves me after everything we've been through, through all of the mistakes I've made.
"What did I do to deserve you in this life again…" My eyes flutter closed as she caresses my cheek again.
"What did I do to deserve to be let into your life again…" I open my eyes and find Callie staring down at me with love and devotion with a small smile on her lips. I lean in to place a kiss on her lips but I stop in my tracks as a knock on my office door pulls us from our moment. I groan as I pull away from Callie. "I guess that means it's time for us to actually go do work. I'll let them in…" Callie places a kiss on my cheek before she stands from leaning on my desk and makes her way to the door. I straighten my clothes out and make myself presentable. "Dr. Boswell, come on in." My eyes shoot up to see Callie greeting Lauren in my door way. My body automatically tenses as I watch the display.
"Dr. Torres, thank you. It's lovely to see you." Chills wreck my body as she speaks. I watch intently as Callie sizes her up and Lauren takes a step back.
"As it is to see you…" Callie steps to the side to let Lauren in to my office but catches her elbow and stops her in her tracks. "Oh, and just a little reminder. If you so much as breath near Arizona the wrong way I will break every bone in your body so badly that they will have to call the second best ortho surgeon to fix your ass because I will be locked up. I'm not scared to go back." Callie sends Lauren her best socialite smile that would have even made Lucia Torres proud. I hold back a laugh as Lauren's face drops and becomes washed with fear. Brown eyes fall back to me. "I'll see you at home beautiful." I send Callie my best heartfelt dimpled smile as she leaves my office leaving me with the wicked bitch of the west. My eyes fall to her to find her standing unmoved beside the satin grey couch with teal and pastel pink throw pillows. I throw on my best professional façade and take a deep breath.
"Dr. Boswell, how can I help you?" I gesture to the chair in front of my desk but she takes a seat on the couch. Maybe she's just trying to keep distance.
"Really? We're going to use formalities?" She crosses her right leg over her left knee as she finally meets my gaze.
"Yes, we are going to use formalities because right now you are nothing more than the homewrecking bitch who tore my family apart. So, I refuse to give you an inch to budge." I stand from my chair as anger starts to boil in my blood. "Now if you are here to fuck me over or mess with my head then I need you to leave. You are here for a short time. Only a short time. I will be professional with you but if you can't be professional I will get Dr. Karev to lead on this case and have the board reevaluate your time here at Grey Sloan having you being kicked out of this building so hard you bounce when your ass hits the ground." My words start coming from behind gritted teeth and my hands have balled into fists rested on my desk. My vision goes red as a small smirk forms on Lauren's lips.
"You think my ass is bouncy…" In a blur I round my desk to stand in front of Lauren. I take a fist full of the front of her dress shirt and lift her to stand on her feet. Her smirk falls from her lips as my anger filled eyes meet hers.
"How about I drop you from my window and we'll see how much you bounce…" I hear her gulp as my face turns to stone.
"So professionalism. I can do that. Dr. Robbins." Plastering a fake smile on my face I release my grip on Lauren's shirt and take a step back.
"That sounds about right…" I make my way over to my desk and sit in my chair. "Now, lets talk about this case, shall we?" I gesture to the chair across from me but Lauren finds a spot on the couch again.
"I'm good right here…" I smirk as we start going through the case file. Maybe this won't be so bad.
AN2: Alright... So I hope I did it justice. let me know what you think. Until next time I love you all!