Chapter Twenty Five:
My lips were barely touching Godric's before I felt myself being pushed away roughly and with so much force I found myself flying out of the bedroom, through both doors, and straight into the hallway. I winced as my back connected with the hard wall, pain shooting up my spine. I shot Godric a confused stare, watching the mixed emotions cross his face as he just stood there, in the middle of his room, unsure of what to do. I tentatively took a step forward, my hand on my lower back rubbing away the pain, my eyes never leaving Godric's. I knew this was hurting him. I knew he was going through 1400 years of pain. As much as I should have hated him for nearly killing me, for nearly draining me until there was nothing left, I just couldn't. Yes, I was angry, angry over so many things. And yes, I wasn't sure if I could ever truly trust Godric again, much like with Eric. But this was still Godric. This was still the same vampire that had saved me from those two men in that alleyway almost a year ago. This was still the same vampire that healed me and gave me a home, a friend, a family. This was still the same vampire that gave me a reason to live. No matter what anger I held towards him, it would never change the deep feelings I would always have for Godric, both in friendship and whatever other confusing feelings I had.
"Godric," I stepped through the first door, pausing as he took a step back as I grew closer. "I'm right here. I'm alive. I'm okay."
"I almost killed you. I did kill you." He averted my gaze.
"No you didn't. I was just taken out of this world for a little bit. But I was still alive." I reasoned with him, slowly moving myself back into his room. "You're in so much pain; I can see it in your eyes. You feel responsible for what happened with Kyra."
"I killed her."
"No, that's where you're wrong Godric." I found myself in front of him once again, surprised that he hadn't moved away yet. I raised a hand up, grasping his chin and pulling his head towards me. "She gave her life for you to live. She couldn't bear to walk the world alone, to not have you there. So she sacrificed herself, for you."
"I killed her. I'm a monster. I almost killed you." He shook his head, brushing my hand again and going to take a step back. "You need to stay away from me, Elizabeth. You must leave."
"Unfortunately I can't. One, because there's crazy vampires after me and this is the safest place I can be, and two, I'm not going to let you push me away." I shook my head, crossing my arms stubbornly. "So you're just going to have to deal with that. I'm here Godric, and I'm not going anywhere until you just listen to me."
"Get out."
"No."
We stared at one another for what felt like an eternity. Godric didn't blink, and I tried desperately not to do so either. Of course, I was sonly human, and I eventually faltered and blinked. That millisecond was all that it took for Godric to grab a hold of my arms and push me back out of the room. I barely even knew what had happened until my eyes were open and focused on the now closed doors before me. I groaned as I pulled myself away from the wall I was sure was going to have a hole in the form of my body soon. I stared at the door, contemplating trying to get back in, but I knew it was useless. He just needed some time to himself. It was almost dawn, perhaps he'll be thinking more clearly after resting. Deciding on searching out Andre, I slowly strode down the hallway, my back aching as I walked.
"Stupid vampires." I sighed to myself, running my hand up and down my sore back as I began down the stairs. "Andre?"
"I'm in here, little Phoenix." I heard Andre's distant voice.
I looked down the hallway and began to where I thought I heard his voice. I poked my head into the kitchen, and saw him leaning against the counter, a True Blood in his hand. He offered me a smile, but frowned when he saw my slow movements.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. Just a very depressed vampire." I assured. "Feeling right at home, aren't we?"
Andre chuckled as took a sip of the synthetic blood. "I thought you would rather my nourishment come from somewhere other than your veins."
"Very thoughtful." I walked open and opened the fridge. I never realized how hungry I was, not having eaten in what felt like so long. "I understand now how fangbangers are so anorexic; tend to forget to eat around vampires."
Andre chuckled as I pulled out a bottle of water before moving passed Andre to the cupboard I knew the cereal was stocked. Grabbing out the least healthy box of cereal possible, I dumped a good portion into a bowl before hopping up onto the island across from Andre.
"So, you're a vampire..."
"Last time I checked, yes I was." Andre raised an eyebrow.
"Well how do I make a vampire less...well less depressed?" I asked, my mind still on the vampire a floor above us.
"Godric." Andre assumed. "It pains him for what occurred at the palace."
"Well add that onto 1400 years of pain and sorrow." I sighed. "Kyra, the last Phoenix that was in existence before me, well he and Godric were mates I suppose you could call them."
Andre nodded, encouraging me to continue.
"Well she found him after he was attacked by Weres, and he was slowly dying. She loved him so much that she sacrificed herself to save him. She somehow knew that he would be important some day. She offered him her soul, but he refused, not able to take it. But, vampires know better than anyone that..."
"Once a soul has left the body, there is no returning." Andre finished. "Truly amazing that such a creature loved a vampire so deeply to give her life for one."
"Godric meant the world to her. She couldn't see herself living without him. So she gave her life so he could continue on. Godric doesn't see it that way though." I frowned, picking at the cereal sadly. "He thinks he's a monster and that he killed her. He just needs to understand that this was what she wanted. She wanted to save him. She knew what she was doing."
"We like to believe we are very much different from humans once we are turned. We believe that we no longer feel the same emotions that humans do. It's of course a lie. Soulless or not, we can still feel." Andre set down both his True Blood and my bowl of cereal before taking both of my hands in his. "We can love like humans; we can feel the same guilt, the same pain. After hundreds of years, we've found ways to suppress such emotions, but they are still there. They still linger. He's gone through so many centuries of guilt and pain, that it cannot easily be changed, you must understand that Ellie."
"I know. I just...I don't like seeing Godric like this. He's always been so put together. I've always been the one who's been a mess, and he would just hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright. But now...it's reversed. I'm not sure I know how to comfort him."
"All you can do is try, Ellie." He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "You love him deeply. In a much different manner than how you care for Northman. But you do love him, that much is obvious. If he means that much to you, you will figure out what to do. Be there for him, talk him through it. You are a remarkable person, little phoenix, never forget that."
"Thanks Andre." I smiled at him before hugging him tightly. I could tell that he wasn't used to such a thing, but soon warmed up to the embrace. "It's almost dawn, you need to go rest."
Andre nodded as I pulled away, slipping down off of the counter.
"I don't think I can sleep, so you can stay in my room if you'd like. The entire house is blocked off from the sun, so you'll be safe there."
"I cannot take your room." He shook his head.
"Yes you can. I slept in the car. And I have a lot of thinking to do. And maybe some practicing." I shrugged, nudging him in the side. "It's the first door once you get up the stairs. There's a bathroom in there too. Just don't laugh at any of my things."
Andre smiled widely as he bowed his head and left the room. I waited a moment before tossing out the empty bottle of synthetic blood and finishing off the bowl of cereal. I glanced around the kitchen, and seeing everything in order, I left the room and headed towards the living room. I smiled to myself as I entered, looking around at the furniture. Memories of my first lesson on how to use my telekinesis, Godric guiding me through it, came flooding back. I had spent countless of nights after that, with the help of Eric, perfecting what I could. I would like to think that I hardly required much concentration at all when moving an object. Though I was still having trouble with larger objects, and containing my energy, I was proud at how far I've come with the gift after being thrust into it. But now, I was no longer confused about what I thought was once a curse. I had much bigger things to be confused about, like these mysterious Phoenix powers. I was determined to figure them out, so I could protect not only myself, but those I cared about.
And now seemed like the perfect time.
I was lying flat on my back in the middle of the living room when I heard movement upstairs. I cracked my eyes open, groaning as the lights of the room burned my eyes. I pushed myself up onto my elbows and glanced at the clock. It was just before sunset, and figured both vampires were now up. I peeled myself off of the ground, using the back of the couch as leverage, and looked around at the damage that I had caused.
Understanding my powers was much harder than I anticipated. I first practiced with the power I was the most familiar with, and that was what occurred while in the underground tunnel. I had closed my eyes, pictured warmth, fire, and anything else that I could think of, until I felt the familiar warm tingling in my body. Of course, not everything was so easy. I managed to sear the coffee table so badly that I was pretty sure it didn't even look like the same table anymore. I did however, understand that my anger didn't help anything at all. When I kicked the chair in frustration when nothing occurred when I tried to recreate the blue calming light that had engulfed Godric and I many nights ago, my telekinetic powers went awry and everything began shaking and moving. That was how I came to be on the floor. After vases, lamps, mirror, and anything else that could possible explode and cause a large mess, did just that, I found myself more tired than I had been in awhile. Still wanting to practice, I just laid down on the floor, and let my mind wander. I must have drifted off at some point, waking up to the rather loud vampires in the house.
"Keep anger under control, check." I looked around at the mess one last time before deciding on calling it a day. I wondered how angry Eric would be when he came back to find his living room destroyed. Maybe I should attempt cleaning it up before that happened. I didn't need a pissed off Eric on my hands, especially not during all of this drama.
"You've made quite the mess." Andre mused from the doorway.
"Shush, I'm going to clean it up." I walked over, feeling better than I had earlier from all of the practicing. "By the way, don't get me angry. I tend to blow thing up when I'm angry apparently."
"I'll remember that." He chuckled before his expression turned serious. "I don't believe Godric rested at all."
"How do you know?" I frowned.
"I can smell his blood. I can only assume he has the bleeds."
I sighed, rubbing the bridge of my nose. "I'll go and talk to him. Maybe bring him a true blood. If he's refusing to rest, I doubt he's eating either."
"Just be careful, little phoenix. We can become quite irritable and lose control of ourselves when hungry and restless." Andre warned.
"I'll keep that in mind." I patted his arm before walking past him and into the hallway. When I got into the kitchen, I popped a true blood into the microwave, waiting for it to be warmed up just like Godric enjoyed them.
As I began my way up to Godric's room, I wondered how I was going to get in. I doubt he would just answer my knocks. Maybe I would be lucky though. I was bound to find a little bit of luck at some point. I was pretty sure I deserved it after everything that's happened. And that's exactly what I found when I came to Godric's room. I opened the first door, only to find the second not fully closed. Godric must not have closed it all the way after pushing me out of the room. I inhaled sharply as I laid a hand on the cold metal, wondering if just walking into his room would be a good idea. But as I remembered the bottle of true blood in my hand, I knew I had to. If Godric wasn't resting or eating, he would grow weak. 2000 year vampire or not, he still needed to sleep and drink blood. That wouldn't change. And if he wasn't going to do it on his own, then by god, I was going to find a way to force him to.
I wasn't expecting what I walked into though. As the door swung open, I was met with a war zone. The entire room was destroyed, from the bed to the drawers, to every possible thing in the room. I raised an eyebrow, my worry growing as I looked around for Godric. I spotted him sitting on the floor on the other side of the destroyed bed and I walked tentatively around the room. My heart just about broke when I saw Godric, taking in his appearance. His clothes looked worn, and in fact, were exactly what he had been wearing when we were in New Orleans. The clothes were wrinkled and stained with his own blood. Speaking of blood, there was dried on blood all over his face, hands and neck. I could see blood pooling around his eyes, as well as dripping down both his nose and ears. The sight worried me, but set me straight into action.
"You need to eat Godric." I walked forward.
"Get out." He attempted to growl, but it only came out as a simple soft request.
"No. I'm not leaving." I shook my head. "You're going to eat."
When Godric didn't answer me, something snapped. I narrowed my eyes and stomped the rest of the distance over to the vampire.
"This is how it's going to go Godric." I knelt down in front of him, my lip pursed together. "You're going to drink the damn blood, and then you're going to take a nice long shower to clean yourself up."
Godric's eyes were boring through me, and if this were anyone else, I would have been running out of the room scared as hell. But this was Godric, and I needed him to get himself together, at least somewhat, before the King realized where I was. I couldn't do this on my own; I needed Godric's help. But he wasn't going to exactly be any sort of help if he starved himself and refused to sleep. It killed me to see him this way, and I just couldn't let him do this to himself. I knew he would do the exact same thing to me. Sometimes you needed a little tough love to get thing moving.
"And then you're going to sleep. I swear I will tie you to that bed...or one that isn't completely destroyed." I threatened. "Once you've gotten a nice long rest, we're going to have a little chit chat about how stupid you're being. Time for some tough loving, Godric. I can't let you do this to yourself. You can't push me away, I won't let you. You're going to pull yourself together if you want to or not."
I had no idea what was going through his head as I thrust the bottle of true blood into his face. I was almost certain that he was going to throw it back at me, or something much worse. I was surprised however, when he took the bottle, still staring me in the eye, and took a sip.
"That wasn't so hard now was it?" I stood, planting my hands on my hips. "Now, I'm going to give you an hour. If you're not showered and resting by the time I come back, I swear I will quickly figure out these powers I have, and kick your ass. Is that clear?"
I was wondering how angry he would be about this later. But I just didn't care. Things needed to change, and quickly. This wasn't the time for useless arguments. We needed to work together here if we're ever going to get through this ordeal alive.
"Godric?" I tapped my foot impatiently.
"An hour." He took another sip of the blood.
"I'm glad we could come to an understanding."
And with that, I twisted back around and walked out of the bedroom with my head held high.