I own nothing
Ring Ring
"Hello?"
"HAY!!!"
"HAY!!! Rose, I'm mad at you."
"Why?"
"Because, you went shopping without me."
"So?"
"SO!!!! I'M SUFFERING FROM SHOPPING SEPARATION DISORDER AND YOU SAY SO?!?!?!"
"Ahhhh, yeah."
"I am appalled, Rosalie Hale, just APPALLED!"
"Good."
Nessie Tell Alice I said hi.
"YOU TOOK NESSIE!?!?!?! WHAT ABOUT ME!?!?!?!"
"Sorry, I was bored, and you weren't around, so I took Nessie with me."
"WHAT ABOUT BELLA?!?! DID YOU THINK TO ASK HER!?!?"
"I did, but she was kind of busy."
"WHAT ABOUT ESME!?!?!"
Esme Hi, Alice.
"ARRRR!!!!! Bella!! They went shopping without us!!!"
Bella Really? YAY!!! Oh… I mean… NOOO!!!!!
"BELLA!?! HOW COULD YOU!?!?! SHOPPING IS CALLING!!!"
"Bella doesn't shop remember?"
GASP "BELLA DOES TO SHOP!!! TELL THEM BELLA!!"
Bella …
"Bella? What's wrong with you? Answer me!! Gosh darn you!!! What are you starring at anyw… EDWARD!!!"
Edward What?
"STOP DAZZLING HER!!! BELLA, SNAP OUT OF IT!!!! FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!!! YOU HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR TEN YEARS AND BEEN MARRIED FOR TO EIGHT OF THEM!!! YOU WOULD THINK YOU WOULD HAVE GOTTEN OVER IT!!!"
Jasper Alice?
"WHAT?!"
Jasper Are you done yelling?
"NO!!!!"
Jasper Fine.
"Anyway… YOU BUTT!!! YOU WENT SHOPPING!!! WITHOUT ME!!! I MEAN SERIOUSLY!!!! I…"
"Alice? Hello?"
Alice...
Edward Nice use of dazzle, Jasper.
Jasper Thank you, Edward.
"HAHA!!! Alice is dazzled!!!"
Nessie Is that possible?
Everyone else who isn't dazzled Yes.
Rosalie You should see Esme when she is dazzled. It is very disturbing.
Esme I do NOT get dazzled.
Everyone else who isn't dazzled Yeah, you do.
Esme I most certainly do not.
Emmett Yeah, you don't get dazzled by Carlisle. Just like Edward didn't stalk Bella when she was human.
Edward I did not stalk Bella.
Bella (now undazzled) YOU MOST CERTAINLY DID!!!! Don't get me wrong, I LOVED it, but you were a stalker.
Edward Overbearing, maybe, but not a stalker.
Bella You watched me when I slept.
Edward What else was there to do? Sure, I was a little overprotective but…
Jake Overprotective? OVERPROTECTIVE!?!?! Dude, you wouldn't let her come to see me!! ME!!! THE COOLEST WEREWOLF IN THE HISTORY OF WEREWOLVES!!!
Edward She came home one day and her hand was broken.
Jake That was HER fault. SHE hit ME.
Bella Because you kissed me!!
Jake Can you honestly tell me you didn't like it?
Bella YOU are MARRIED to my daughter!!
Rosalie "I'm just going to hang up now… don't finish the conversation until I get home."
Hangs up.