26. Guilt

Dear Lily,

Look, I wrote you, you can stop freaking out. I'm not dead, unless I'm a zombie, but I'm not quite sure zombies know how to use the post. I ask the next time I see one.

I saw Remus tonight. He said you were worried. You don't have to worry I'm fine. Just ask Remus. Don't bother asking Remus, just trust me.

So yeah, I'm fine, not a zombie and you shouldn't worry, I'm just busy with work and stuff. Thought I saw him the other day there. So how's it going at home? Petunia still as lovely as ever? She's a joy, your sister.

I miss you tons. Sorry for being such a terrible friend lately. I'll make it up to you at school, promise.

Lots of love, Vienna

Lily quickly shoved the letter into her book as the dormitory door opened, but it was just Mary. She bobbed in, blonde curls bouncing, huge smile on her face.

"Guess what Lily," she said with the air of someone relaying the meaning of life.

"What?" Lily asked in a voice she had mastered in second year.

"I just saw Chelsea Morris and Derek Harrington snogging by the statue of Barnabas the Bleary!"

"Barmy."

"What?"

"Oh, its Barnabas the Barmy," Lily said quickly.

"Whatever! They were totally snogging!"

"That's great!" Lily said forcing a smile.

Mary was about to tell her just how great this was when the door banged open and Vi walked in, one side of her hair matted with what was undoubtedly blood.

"Vi, what happened?" Lily said quickly sitting up.

"Don't worry about it; I just lost a fight with a desk. And yes, I've been to the hospital wing," she added with a smirk. She raised one hand in the air as if she were leading barbarian troops into battle. "Off to the showers!"

Lily snorted as Vienna charged into the bathroom. "Did you get another concussion?" she called over the sound of running water.

"Yep, and I am loopy," Vienna called back. "Whatever Madame Pomfry gave me if really strong."

"I bet," Lily said laughing.

She turned back to her book and pulled another letter from its pages. Her stomach dropped as she saw the smudged ink and the water stains. It was the first one she'd sent after she'd left school last summer.

Lils,

Had to leave for Auntie's funeral. Won't be back this year, have to set her affairs in order.

Caught Sirius in the broom closet with some half naked girl. Didn't say anything, like an idiot. Feel free to tell him his ass is so broken up with. Obviously I'm not good enough for him.

I'll write you soon. Vienna

The next one was the worst. Lily suspected she'd been drunk when she'd written it, half because Vi wasn't one for talking about feelings and half because she was pretty sure the stain on the upper left corner was Firewhiskey.

Dear Lily,

I don't know what to do. I miss him and I shouldn't and don't know why. Well I do and that's because I'm in love with the dumb bastard.

He makes me feel sick and weak and pitiful and I just hate it and I just wish I could forget everything and go back to how it was because it was nice. It was nice to feel needed and wanted and loved.

Now I just feel like shit.

Miss you Lils. Vienna.

Lily shoved them back into the book and lay back, pulling the hangings shut as she did. She stared at the book for a moment before tossing it under the bed. A single tear dripped down her cheek.

She wondered if she was doing the right thing. If Vi would still wish to forget now. If she was doing the right thing in keeping her silence.

All right, so I think I like this, thanks SuchStuffAsDreams. Wow, my first genuinely angry review. No, I'm serious, this one was pretty pissy. So Guest numero dos, yes, I can get mad at Sirius and no, it's not hypocritical, it's probably mildly schizophrenic. Another thing to think about, would the plot be as good if he didn't cheat? If you like lovey dovey fairy tales (the Disney kind, not the real ones, they're pretty badass) then yes. But that's no fun. Where's the amnesia in that? Also, threatening to stop reading if I add in any Vienna/Remus 'thing': not a good move. Let's just say challenge may be accepted. Although what's in a slash? (We all know what's in a slashfic, but that's besides the point:P) I'm definitely not loving the Remus-hating I'm feeling right now. He's my little furry jumper-wear, (extra dark) chocolate-eating, book-carrying baby and I love him to pieces so please excuse me while I go all mama bear on your ass.

So anyway after that interesting little rant right there I leave you with this:

Should Lily tell Vienna?

Do you think Vienna really wouldn't want to know?

Who else loves Remus with the burning passion of three exploding suns? (Yes, I know I'm weird, but I promise I'll keep writing!)

What about all those letters in Vi's apartment? Christmas break is coming up…

So thanks again for reading and reviewing and everything. Sorry for the rant. I'll try to refrain from them in the future! LOL, you should have seen the one on sparkly vampire for the school paper but OFF TOPIC! Please read and review, you make my day, even the angry ones. This one kind of made me laugh, but I think that's the sleep depravation talking. So anyway

STAY CLASSY CYBERWORD. (Yes that's an Anchorman reference:P) Love you all. Bye!