Chapter 26

Carefully, I extracted my hand from Murphy's grasp. For a moment he continued to stare at me, only blinking occasionally as the stoicism etched across his features remained in place. I sat on the couch across from him allowing my head to hang low and my gaze focused on the fingers that were playing with the ring that I always wore waiting for Murphy to give a hint of answer to what I told him. I was beginning to second guess myself, feeling more than defeated as well as embarrassed. When I could no longer sit by and allow him to continue his relentless staring contest with the top of my head, I got up from my seat and headed out to the fire escape. Maybe a blast of that cold March air would get me to feel something.

I opened the window, listening to it squeak along its track, then closed it again to prevent the cats from getting out. Allowing my arms to dangle over the railing I turned my overwhelming thoughts to the brick wall just across the alley focusing on a set of bricks in which the mortar was clearly cracked and breaking away. I continued to stare at the structure watching a rather large insect of some kind burrow itself into the bricks, trying to escape the nipping cold air when I heard the window squeak open and close once again on its worn out track. My gaze never wavered as another blast of cold air brought Murphy's familiar scent to my nostrils.

"T'ought ya might be cold."

Breaking my focus on the wall for the first time in what seemed like hours, I watched from the corner of my eye with careful scrutiny as he brought his arms out and lifted my sweater onto my shoulders. I shrugged my arms in through the holes and returned my focus back to the brick wall. In all the time that I have been out here, I have not been able to feel much of anything on the outside. Internally, I could not help but feel like I had made a complete fool of myself. With the heavy silence that surrounded us after I had wrapped up my final thoughts I somehow felt that perhaps between what I told him and whatever else that my sister added earlier in the day that it was all too much for him to handle. Why would he, or Connor for that matter, want to stick around knowing that I am a psych patient, that I am off my meds, and that at any point in time I could have another relapse with my suicidal thoughts. Why would either of them choose to be around a budding alcoholic who would do nothing but spew out angry, hurtful words because she hears voices telling her she's worthless.

"What are ya t'inking about?"

"Little Lotte thought of everything and nothing."

"Phantom of the Opera. Are ya upset dat I didn't say anyt'ing after what ya told me inside?"

"Yes and no, but it's not you that I'm upset with; it's with myself. I'm not used to being that open with anybody. Like everyone else, I have my fair share of problems and then some but what has me the most upset is the fact that I can't figure out what to say to you that wouldn't have you or Connor running for the hills."

"Let's go inside and talk, it is 20-somet'ing degrees and yer out here in a tank top, sweater, and fleece penguin pants. Might I also add dat ya walked out barefoot and yer standing on a sheet of ice."

Oops, didn't think about shoes before I came out here; oh well better hope I don't get pneumonia. I allowed Murphy to place his hands on my shoulders to gently draw me away from the rusted metal railing that was threatening to break away from the wall it was attached to any given moment and lead me back inside. I had to shoo the cats away from the window so they wouldn't get out but once Murphy had me seated back on the couch he busied himself briefly by picking our forgotten glasses up from the floor and walking them into the kitchen. The heater was set to 70 so I decided to shed my sweater before Murphy returned, draping it over my frozen feet.

When he returned to the living room, he carried in with him a pair of coffee cups, the aroma of peppermint rising with the steam had a calming effect; something we both needed before proceeding with anything. Handing me one of the cups, he took a seat across from me; the silence between us caused the tension to ratchet up a notch or two but remembering that I was holding a cup in my hands I took a sip hoping that an action on my part may cause the words that we are both carefully contemplating to come out as a cohesive thought rather than word vomit.

"T'ought about what ya said earlier; about what ya need and not knowing what ya want. You have all da time in da world ta figure out what ya want and we can help ya figure it out as t'ings go on. But, I need ya ta know what I need from ya. Not gonna sit here and rattle off a list but ya need ta know dat both me and Connor are on a learning curve. We're both bound ta fuck up and yer no exception ta dat. If ya feel like somet'ing is getting ta be too much fer ya, tell us. You know us well enough by now ta know dat we love to tease folks but sometimes we don't know when ta stop. Before ya go and blow yer top, give us a fair warning. Also need ya ta know dat I intend on sticking around fer a while. I don't plan on leaving ya in da foreseeable future so I need ya ta get dat t'ought out of yer head."

"I don't know if I could ever get that out of my head."

"But ya need to. I get dat yer afraid dat you'll wake up one day and neither of us may not be dere fer one reason or anot'er but ya can't let yer fears take control of yer life. You can tell us anyt'ing ya want, it'll take a lot more den words ta have us running. C'mon, let me inside dat head of yers. I know it's hard fer ya ta trust someone with all of dat information ya just shared but knowing what I know now about ya is gonna help all t'ree of us in da long run. Before, when ya had dat distant look in yer eyes, we t'ought you were just lost in yer t'oughts. But now when ya get dat look we'll know ta ask, we'll know dat somet'ing's not right."

"Why are you trying so hard to fix me?"

"Because yer worth fixing; yer allowed ta hurt, yer allowed ta feel t'ings, yer allowed ta be human. Ya can't let all of da negative t'ings consume yer entire being. We can't help ya until you open yerself up enough to let us. Me and Connor both worry about ya sometimes, wondering if ya even know what it's like ta feel somet'ing ot'er den pain."

I allowed Murphy's words to sink in. Again, I wanted to choose my words carefully before speaking. This was all foreign territory for me and I had to tread carefully if I wanted something more with either of the twins or both of them. I had my doubts about this entire thing that Murphy was proposing. I have also been the type of person who prefers things in black and white, I don't like the unknown. As these thoughts started taking up residence in my mind, I couldn't help but to start chewing at the interior of my lips. It was something I did out of habit when I started getting nervous. Apparently Murphy picked up on my nervous energy and he was making an attempt to put an end to it.

"Look at me," he made sure I gave him my full attention before pressing on, "ya don't have ta be scared. I know it's a hard decision, but I can promise ya t'ings can and will get better fer ya if let us in."

"What happens then? What happens if I let you in? What happens if I tell either of you something about my past, what will you do?"

"Ya just have ta trust it. I won't t'ink any different of ya fer telling me what you've got on yer mind. I may be shocked or surprised by what ya may tell me, but I won't t'ink anyt'ing different of ya."

He took a hold of my left hand, rubbing the pad of his thumb over my ring, tracing the intricate knots that formed the trinity before sweeping the digit across the tops of my knuckles once again. Focusing my attention on the movement, I let his words take over the spaces inside my mind that started to free themselves from my selfishness. If there was such a thing as an emotional polar plunge, then I was about to jump in feet first.

"Okay, I will try but I can't promise anything."

I felt his arms wrap around my shoulders pulling me towards him into a warm embrace. This was far from the reaction that I had expected. Though I did not set my expectations too high, I had already started mentally preparing myself for him to just walk out the door at any moment.

"Dat's all I've been wanting ta hear fer a while now. I promise I won't let ya down."

"It's not nice to make promises you can't keep. Everyone gets let down by somebody; if you are going to make a promise to me, I want you to promise that you'll come to me if something's bugging you. I don't want you to hide it because then you'll dwell on it until it comes out as anger. Much like right now, there's something else that you have on your mind; I can see it in your eyes. You don't have to tell me what it is right this minute, but I'll be here when you are ready. And another thing, if you want me to stop sleeping with Connor, I will. I won't ask you to do anything in the bedroom that you don't feel comfortable with, but I'm sure you've heard Connor bragging about the things that I like done to me. We don't have to get into that right now though, just thought you should know."

"Connor and I are pretty good at sharing; he seems ta be a little more inta da kinky stuff den I am. Dat's not to say dat I'm averse ta trying new t'ings, I'm just not as adventurous as he is. I can't begin ta tell ya how nervous I've been waiting fer ya ta tell me what ya t'ought about everyt'ing I said dis morning. I just hate not knowing how someone is gonna react when I tell 'em somet'ing. Plus all dis shit on da news tonight with da kidnapping, da murders, and kids being hit by cars in broad daylight. Da world's gone ta shit and dere's not'ing anyone can do ta stop it so we try ta find people we can lean on who bring in small rays of light ta dispel da darkness."

"No offense, I think you're getting just a little bit too religious with that kind of talk. I'm not disagreeing with what you're saying, I fully agree actually, but if you're going to go around preaching to the masses of Boston on a soapbox about loving your fellow man and to stop killing each other then I'm afraid you're not going to get anywhere. Tell you what though, any time I hear another story on the news about those Saints, it makes me feel a little bit better. It may sound wrong because the reality of it is, is that they are committing murder, but evil men like the ones they've been doing in deserve what they have coming to them. It's not right that all they get is a slap on the wrist; 24 hours in jail, then get out on bail only to do the same things over and over again. If I knew them personally, I'd give them a list of names a mile wide of people they could kill. Sorry, I'm rambling now; how about I get you that dessert I promised you when I got back?"

"I t'ink I'll wait until later tonight when yer sister gets back. She's a bit of a bitch in my opinion and I t'ink hearing her sister getting laid is enough ta knock her down off of dat high horse of hers. It always works on Connor, so we'll see if it works on yer sister."

"She is a bitch, but I'm Queen Bitch. I kind of took that crown from our mom back when I was 11 and have worn it ever since. If she's trying to steal it from me, she's going to have to put some effort into her interrogation techniques while she's upstairs with Connor. Since you want to put off sexy times until later tonight, what do you want to do? I've got movies we can watch or ice cream in the freezer so you can have a real dessert…" I was cut off when he pushed me back onto the couch and pressed his lips to mine. It wasn't forceful, but rather sweet? Kind of reminded me of that kiss he gave me in the car that day he had his accident: passionate, deep, meaningful, and dare I say breath-taking. What have I just gotten myself into?

"I already had this long conversation with your brother and I'm going to be spending the next couple of hours having this same conversation with you. I get it that you just off work a little while ago and you're probably tired but I need to know what your intentions are with my sister. She might be two years older than me, but I've seen her suffer too much to watch her fall apart all over again because of another person who calls himself a man.

"When her ex died and she finally came home, she committed herself to a mental ward because she couldn't handle the fact that he was gone, at least that's the story she told us. She told me once while I sat with her at visitation day that she wanted to just end it all; that perhaps this world would be better off without her. I told her she was full of shit for thinking like that. Any time she starts feeling defeated or beat down these demons that she's been carrying around for years start rearing their ugly heads. She claims to hear voices telling her to kill herself, that no one would ever love her, that she will never be worth anyone's time and the time she is worth will only last until she has served her purpose then she'll be tossed to the side once again.

"She has the ability to love several people unconditionally no matter what their transgressions are. Granted, you've probably heard some of the stories about her ex from her friend Charlie, but what you probably never heard was that he was a murderer, heavily involved in drugs; I'm talking making, taking, and dealing, rape, kidnapping. The list goes on forever, but my point is he was the scum of the earth and she loved him because she was able to see past all of that. She was able to see someone buried underneath years of hurt and betrayal, she was able to keep him off the ledge when his father would lay into him about being behind on a shipment; she kept him somewhat sane until his brother came back to town and everything happened that led to his death.

"I need you to be straight-forward with me right now about what it is exactly you want out of my sister. If you just want someone you can fuck, that's fine; just don't use any words or phrases that might have her thinking you've got feelings for her. If you want something more than that, like what your brother wants, then you need to tell her that. It doesn't have to be right this minute, but you need to tell her soon. She surprised me tonight when she told me that she's made up her mind about Murphy; she's downstairs telling him now."

"I already told her everyt'ing I have ta say, but if you want me ta give ya da shortened version, I will. I pretty much told her dat I want da same chance dat she's giving Murph; I want somet'ing dat's more den just sex. Yer sister is an enigma dat I want ta try ta figure out. I probably never will be able ta accomplish dat in dis life, but dat won't stop me from trying. Murph and I may be twins and we've done an awful lot of sharing in our time, but we are not da same person. He wears his heart on his sleeve and his biggest issue right now when it comes to yer sister is his constant fear of rejection. He mistakes her silence as an automatic rejection and he starts shutting down. I'm da complete opposite; I'm pretty direct with yer sister about what I want and how I feel. My issue is dat I care too much about me brudder ta let him get hurt; I don't want ta see yer sister break his heart."

"And I don't want to see either of you break hers; know this though, if you do I'm coming back here to hunt you down, drag you both back to St. Louis, and we'll be having ourselves a family reunion while everyone has a turn at beating your asses. Though I still have my suspicions, I guess we can get started on your background. I don't want to hear a rehearsed story about how your dad left when you were a year old and your mom raised you all on her own. I don't want to hear about why you came state-side or how you ended up in a pretty shitty living situation like this. I want you to tell me about you. I want you to tell me everything that makes you Connor MacManus; tell me why you think you're man enough for my sister."

"Actions speak louder den words; I'm not gonna sit here and let you lecture me on da dos and don'ts of dating and relationships. Only t'ing you need ta know is dat I'm a much better man den her ex ever was. If she pisses me off, I'm not gonna haul off and hit her; if she's hurting, I'm gonna find out why and do what I can ta make da pain go away. If I want ta spend some time with her, just da two of us, she gets ta pick. More often den not she tells me ta pick or she'll ask if we can just stay in."

"I'm not trying to lecture you, I'm trying to give you some insight and some much needed information about my sister so you're less likely to fuck up and come off as a dick. She told me about the day you found out that she was talking with your mom and how you went nuts over it. She knew you were not in your right frame of mind the day everything happened and was still having trouble accepting the fact that your brother was in the hospital even after he woke up. Stressful situations like that are the reason why she chooses to bite her tongue and say nothing and also the reason why she will threaten you with bodily injury.

"My sister is doing the best she can under the circumstances to keep her anger in check but the two you going around assuming things rather than talking with her is not making things any better on her. You are one hundred percent right that actions speak louder than words but right now she needs to verbally hear what it is you want from her. I want you to let this sink in for a while: she doesn't want to see anybody new, regardless of it's you, your brother, both of you, or someone else because she has it in her mind that she's cheating on her ex."

"But he's dead, how can she t'ink dat she's cheating on him when he's dead?"

"Ask her and find out for yourself, it's not my place to say. Can I ask, is there anything significant that stands out in your mind that makes you want to get to know my sister better? You said you two have spent time together alone, has she said anything that maybe brought questions to your mind and just never asked?"

"I'm sure ya heard all about Murph's extended stay in da hospital-"

"Actually, she never mentioned any of it to me. The first I heard about from her was tonight at the bar. Told me there was a lot she wanted to tell your brother while he was out and being home now she doesn't know where to begin. She also told me how childish you were acting the entire time too. I'm not a mind-reader so I don't know what she wanted to tell him or if she'll even start."

"Long story short da person I was talking about during dinner, Rosie, hit him in da back of da head after he started cracking jokes. Boss called me after it happened and I ran down da stairs hoping I caught her before she left fer work. She drove me up ta work and den to da hospital. She kept a lot of us dat care about dat dumbass from losing it completely; even bailed me out of jail. I can tell ya with a fair degree of certainty dat of all da women I've dated dat she's da one who has given me what I wanted more den da o'hers ever have. I'm not talking just about sex, even t'ough she does let me do anyt'ing I want ta her. I'm not me brudder, I don't talk about me feelings or shit like dat but somehow yer sister knows when I need or want somet'ing without having ta ask. When it's just da two of us, we hang out and drink.

"Last time I had spent any time with her was da day before Murph's accident. She came up here, we watched a movie fer a bit before she started twisting her face around. Found out her back was giving her problems; gave her a back rub and somet'ing I don't t'ink she'll ferget about any time soon."

"She's always been the type of person who would prefer to stay in and watch movies. She's also always been the kind of person who will give everyone else her full attention and put their wants and needs ahead of her own. The reason she knows when someone wants or needs something without them having to ask is because she's able to read body language and can recognize the look in a person's eyes when something is off. My sister also has wants and needs but she needs to be reminded that she needs to take care of herself as well. I'm not talking about just physically or sexually, I have seen the contents of her pantry as well as closet and night stand to know that she can take care of those aspects of her life on her own. I'm talking about mentally and emotionally, she needs to be reminded; based on what you just told me about her taking care of you while Murphy was laid up tells me that no one has once told her to take a break or anything similar. I saw the look in her eyes when she was up here earlier and she is running on fumes. She is mentally and emotionally exhausted."

"And I'm not? Da fuck do you expect me ta do about it?"

"If you cared even an ounce about her overall well-being, I would expect you to tell her thank you every once in a while as opposed to the one time I heard about. I would expect you to fill that empty sack between your legs with a pair of balls and tell her to go home and try to sleep instead of being selfish and landing yourself in jail, asking her to use what little money she has to bail you out. I would expect you to leave her alone if all you want from her is sex."

"Already told ya, I want more from her den just sex. Been with enough women ta know how ta take care of dem physically, sexually, mentally, and emotionally-"

"You have never been with the likes of anyone like my sister. She is not like any normal woman you have been with before. She is not a normal woman at all and you need to stop comparing her to all the others you've had before. You keep saying you want more than just sex, so tell me what is it that you do want? I'm going to have another heart to heart with her in the morning and whether you like it or not, I'm telling her word for word what you're telling me."

"Don't have ta give ya fucking reasons or explanations fer dat matter. I know what I want from yer sister and she knows what I want from her dat's all dat fucking matters. Whether ya like it or not I intend on sticking around fer a while and does Murph. I'm not fucking blind, I know dat she needs a break from everyt'ing dat's going on, I know she's exhausted, and I know she's tired of watching ta make sure I stay out of trouble. Me hearing was last week and da charges were dropped but she wants ta make sure it doesn't happen again."

"I think you're lying to me; I don't think you've told my sister anything that you're feeling either because you have no feelings for her and think this all just some sort of game or you're too scared to admit how you feel about her because you have a hidden fear of rejection. You strike me as the kind of person who doesn't like to hear 'no' and will pull out all of the Irish charm that you can muster in order to trick the person into saying 'yes.' Overall, as a man? Your brother is the definition of a man, but you are a self-centered, selfish child who enjoys playing games with women. If I had my way, I would make sure that you never go anywhere near my sister again. I don't care how great the sex is or that she's able to let her kinky side out when she's around you. However, I do care if the man she is with is someone that can not only put up with her fears and insecurities, but I care that if said man is able to build her confidence and self-esteem up without letting her down in the end. Your brother is capable of doing all of that for her and more; you will never be able to accomplish that, at least not with my sister. You are a user."

"Are ya fucking done emasculating me now?"

"For the time being."

"Good, den you can just shut yer fucking trap and listen. I admit I was being selfish when Murph was laid up; never should've put yer sister t'rough as much as I did but da damage is already done and I can't take dat back. Probably should've told her t'anks more den just da one time, probably should've told her ta go home instead of getting drunk every fucking night. Dere's probably a lot I should've done but I didn't. She understood dat I wasn't alright and when I got ta be too much she made sure ta handle it appropriately.

"I was pissed when Ma called asking fer an update, asked her how da fuck she even knew somet'ing had happened and Ma told me dat da two of 'em had been talking; but I was grateful dat she even t'ought ta call Ma since dat one never crossed me mind. Ma gave her da okay ta slap me around as necessary and trust me, yer sister took full advantage of dat one. First time she hit me, kinda shocked da hell out of me. Ma got one hell of a laugh out of it and told me dat she hopes it keeps up; dat we both need someone who's not afraid ta slap us around a bit.

"I know it seems like I have a tendency ta fly off da handle and it's not somet'ing dat I mean ta do. I let me anger get da best of me, but dat doesn't mean I'm not sorry fer letting it happen. When I do fuck up yer sister makes sure ta put me back in my place and lets me know dat she's not gonna put up with it."

Connor paused momentarily, getting up from his chair and walking over to the fridge to pull a couple of beers out. Crossing back over to the rickety table he set both down, popping the top on his before picking up the nearly empty cigarette pack to fish out one of the last few remaining. Carelessly dropping the pack back on to the table, he swiftly picked the lighter up before dropping that on the surface of the table as well. Connor watched Red's sister carefully to see if she had anything she wanted to comment on while he took a moment to gather his thoughts.

He did not appreciate being verbally attacked in his own home but did appreciate the fact that Red's little sister was looking out for her. Even though their Ma would never tell them who was born first, Connor took on the role as older brother in almost every aspect of his and Murphy's lives. He had played the protector when Murphy's first girlfriend had shattered his heart when she told him that she only agreed to go out with him just so she could get closer to Connor. He had played the savior when the Russians hand-cuffed him to the toilet and were threatening to shoot his brother in the head out in the alley. Now he was playing the defender as he tried to fend off the accusations that flew at him. Connor knew he was lying when he said he had already told Red what he wanted; as the type of person who liked to plan things out, Connor wanted to take his time in making sure everything was to his standards when he did tell her, he wanted everything to just fall into place like a well thought out plan should which included the right words to say.

"Even t'ough it may not seem like it, I do care about yer sister. She's da type of person who would rather say somet'ing ta someone in a one on one instead of telling multiple people. She knows da two of us well enough by now ta know dat if she tells one of somet'ing dat we'll tell da ot'er. With everyt'ing dat's been going on lately, I never had da chance ta tell Murph what she told me da night we had our last one on one."

"What did she say?"

"We were sitting on da couch watching Pale Rider when she started squirming around. Her back was bothering her so I offered to help get rid of da kinks; never planned on it going as far as it did. Doesn't feel right telling ya what she said since it was so personal but da gist of it was dat she didn't know whether or not ta t'ank me fer da back rub or ta sleep with me. Asked her what da fuck she was talking about, told me dat anyt'ing her ex did fer her had ta be repaid in some form or anot'er.

"I did somet'ing fer her because I wanted to, not ta gain somet'ing in return. Dat was when I knew she needed da both of us. She needs Murph ta show her dat it's okay ta let her emotions out every now and again. She needs me ta let her know dat it's okay ta have someone do somet'ing fer ya without having ta do somet'ing fer 'em in return. Da back rub and what followed after, I did dat because I wanted to, I wasn't looking ta have anyt'ing done in return."

"Now you're starting to understand just how deeply her ex screwed her up. The type of people she's been involved with since his death are the kind of people who deserve to be shot to death. My sister does not deserve to be mixed up in all of that nor does she deserve to be treated as an object for anyone's amusement. Connor to be completely honest, you are still on my shit list. What I need from you when it comes down to what's in my sister's best interest is to continue showing her those small random acts of kindness and to teach her that not everything that is done for her is only to gain something in return."

"I make no promises, but I'll do what I can."

"Good, now what's this I hear that you two don't know who was born first?"

I had gotten up from the couch at least once to keep from fidgeting around too much. When I came back Murphy was outside on the fire escape smoking a cigarette, with his back to the window I couldn't help but stare. I continued to let his words sink further into my mind and I came to realize how right he actually was. I was allowing my fears to take over my life. Even though his back was to me and there was a thin wall of glass separating us he appeared to be in deep concentration. Maybe it was my turn to find out what was going through his head. After a brief search for a pair of shoes, my sweater, and a warm blanket I climbed outside onto the fire escape.

"Getting cold out here, thought you may need something warmer than a long-sleeved shirt." I told him, draping the blanket over his shoulders.

"Not dat bad out here, but t'anks."

"Guess you're just used to that cold Irish weather, huh?"

"Nah, just used ta not having a working furnace. Ya get used to it t'ough, I guess. What are you doing back out here?"

There was no hint of anger in his voice, but perhaps there was a bit of sadness behind it. I wasn't entirely sure why I was out here myself but I had a lingering question that I needed answered.

"Wanted to make sure you're alright. Today was a pretty big day for the both us emotionally and I wanted to make sure that you're alright with everything I told you."

Again, I waited for him to say something. Instead what I got was him turning on the spot, his arms reaching around him to take the blanket off his shoulders and placing it on mine, drawing me closer to him. His arms held the blanket where it was as he rested his chin on the top of my head; almost too naturally, my arms wrapped themselves around his waist. I had no idea how long we stayed like this but for the first time in a long time I felt like I belonged to someone.

"I'm alright if yer alright."

"Liar. You wouldn't have been standing out here for the last half hour if you were. Try again."

"And you wouldn't have timed how long I've been out here. Need some time ta meself ta t'ink t'ings t'rough."

"Figure out what you needed to?"

The question was not meant to set Murphy up for a specific answer; I wasn't fishing for one. It was more my curiosity eating away at me once again.

"Fer da most part; can't tell ya much of anyt'ing fer certain at da moment but all ya really need ta know fer now is dat I meant what I said: I don't plan on leaving in da foreseeable future. All I'm asking ya ta do is try. Ya don't have ta open da floodgates all at once and ya only have ta say what you feel comfortable saying. C'mon back inside before ya catch yer death."

We climbed back inside where we were greeted by the cats and a functioning furnace much to my delight. We seated ourselves back on the couch trying to figure out something to do since my sister had only been upstairs with Connor for about an hour or so. Eventually we settled on a couple of movies, one of my choice and one of his. I caved and put in Powder; I could never get enough of watching that movie no matter how many times it still made me cry. I think Murphy was a bit shocked to see me cry actual tears that did not stem from a series of nightmares. When it was over, I promised that we could watch whatever movie he wanted to watch next or if he wanted to take his chances at playing strip twister. For some odd reason, it was in a box that I packed up when I was in the process of moving to Boston and just kept forgetting to put in the donation bins. Again, he decided to forego anything that may go beyond that kiss and instead rummaged through my movie collection to find something that was more up to par with what he enjoyed watching. Needless to say, I was more than surprised that of all the movies I owned, he retrieved an old Cary Grant movie from 1944: Arsenic and Old Lace.

While the commercials were playing, Murphy was nice enough to pick our long forgotten coffee cups up off of the floor and walked both ours into the kitchen. After hearing a few dishes clattering around in the cabinets things kind of quieted down to the point that I was about ready to find out what it was that Murphy was up to in there. Before I could think to ask the question, his outstretched arm came to rest on my left shoulder and in his hand was a large bowl of ice cream that I had alluded to having earlier. He appeared in my line of vision shortly after I removed the bowl from his hand stating that he loved how childish it was that I not only had chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and cherries but also had sprinkles.

"You don't think they killed each other, do you? I mean they're both pretty hard-headed people and it could turn into a disaster if they find something they disagree about." I asked after climbing back inside, tossing the blanket onto the couch and making my way to the door to kick my shoes off and hang my sweater up. I came back to the couch to pick our bowls up off the cushion, walking them into the kitchen and placing them in the sink to soak.

I had decided to go outside one last time after Murphy's movie of choice was over. I just needed a few more minutes to myself to think things through. Even though I was mostly okay with building something with Murphy my mind would not let go of the fact that Connor was still very much a part of this equation regardless of whether or not he wanted something more from me than what he was currently getting. These twins are a packaged deal, you get one and you end up with both and I wanted to make sure everyone was in a mutual agreement.

Before he could respond, a knock came at the door and I jumped up to see who it was. I was relieved to see my sister on the other side of the door and quickly moved to grab her arm to drag her inside when I felt myself being tugged by my left hand and being thrown over Murphy's shoulder. She laughed at the shock that was painted across my face, shut the door behind her, and threw the chain into place.

"No matter what you hear, do not open this door; you may end up seeing some things you never wish you had. This is pay back for what you and Sam put me through when I slept on your couch that night we all got shit-faced on your birthday."

"Don't worry, I won't. Let's hope your screaming can't pierce through headphones. If you don't mind though, I'm going to use your shower. I smell like cigarettes and booze; it's nauseating."

I smiled inwardly because she was going to be in for quite a surprise when the water came out colder than hell. She also had no idea what she just got herself into when she agreed to sleep on the couch considering the back of it was butted up against the bedroom. When Murphy finally set me down on my feet, I made sure that the door was double-locked; I had installed a sliding bolt the day I moved in for a little added security and only used it when I wanted to shut the world out after a crap-tastic day. I turned around to find Murphy lying across my bed with his shirt thrown on the floor and his belt already unbuckled.

"Are you waiting for something?"

"Been waiting for my dessert for da past four hours. How about ya bring yerself on over and give me what I want."

"I could do that, but I won't. If you want something, you come here and get it. Besides, it's your own fault you chose to wait as long as you did when I offered it to you when I got back from the bar earlier tonight." I stated with a devious smile spreading across my face as I felt the temperature in the room begin to rise.

I heard the growl echoing throughout the room and waited with my back to the door, watching him look at me like I was prey. He all but leapt from the bed rushing towards the door, bringing his arms out to cage me in. I love being able to push his buttons to see how far he's willing to dig into his more animalistic, primal instincts. He reached one hand out, grabbing the rubber band that held my hair back and slowly began to drag it out, making sure I felt his fingertips brush against the back of my neck. When it was about half way down, he moved to bury his face into my neck, the tip of his nose lightly brushing against the flesh behind my ear and inhaling. His hand continued to draw my hair over his shoulder so the outside world couldn't see what he was doing to me.

"I want my dessert, and I want it now. Get yer ass in dat bed; ya won't like it if I have ta do it fer ya."

"No."

I apologize for not having updated this the past couple of weeks, however this is one chapter that did not want to get written so kudos to Valerie E. Mackin for helping to unclog my writer's block. I also have a niece on the way in the next couple of days so I had to help get her nursery finished up. Hope you all enjoy and as always feel free to comment or leave a review in the pretty little box below and if you have any suggestions, please PM me.