Chapter Twenty-six - Friends

Back in Nashville the weather is wilder, windier, constantly battering the four walls of my house, pushing the porch swing with invisible hands. From my refuge in Starbucks I can watch the world go by, I can watch the world get torn by the wind. It's not much of a refuge, when I think about it; I'm meeting Josh.

I recognise his car pulling into the half-empty car park, cruising to a stop in a space away from the huddle of cars at one end. He gets out, locks the car with a flash of lights and walks towards the building. I eye him from my seat at the window. Ironically, it's the same table he was sat at when I met him that one time. Now I'm the one sat in his seat with a cup of coffee waiting for him.

He walks through the door and almost immediately homes in on me with that intense look. I smile tentatively and take an awkward sip of my hot chocolate. He strides over to me but doesn't take the seat opposite. Instead, he stands behind, hands clutching the top of the chair, knuckles white. There's a hard set to his jaw and a flare of anger in his eyes. I consider making a joke about this being familiar but I decide against it; Josh doesn't look like he's in the mood for humour.

"I got you a coffee," I say a little quietly, sliding the to-go cup across the table like he did with me. That was weeks ago; somehow it feels like it's been years since Josh and I were at least civil to each other. What went wrong again?

"Thanks," he replies, short and sharp. Yet he just stares at the cup, doesn't even bother to take a polite sip.

"You can sit down, you know," I add, gesturing at the seat, trying to keep the nervous waver from my voice.

"I'd prefer to stand." His tone is icy.

I sigh and lean back in my chair, releasing the tension from my shoulders. "Can you please just sit down and talk normally with me? You're making me anxious stood up like that. I'm here to apologise, Josh. I'm not here to have another argument."

He looks at me for a moment and something softens in his expression, as though he's dropping a few internal walls. But even as he takes a seat, I know the barrier is still there between us and it'll be a while yet till I can knock it down completely.

Josh waits expectantly, still not drinking his coffee. He interlaces his fingers, resting his hands on the table.

"I'm sorry about what happened with your sister," I begin. "It was wrong of me to call her a bitch, even if she was being immature-" Josh goes to interject but I stop him, "-and she was being immature, even you can't deny that. But then it was immature of me to retaliate like I did, so I'm sorry, okay?"

Josh watches me for a few seconds, his brown eyes studying mine, searching for something but I don't know what. He has this funny habit of making it seem like he can read your inner most thoughts, and I have to try not to squirm under his gaze. He eventually looks away.

"Okay," he replies, reaching for his cup of coffee. However, his hand stops halfway, hovering mid-air. He sits back and adds, "And you know what? I'm sorry too. I overreacted when I shouldn't have."

"Thanks for the apology," I answer, smiling at him as I take another sip of my hot chocolate. He returns the smile, and I don't know if that warm feeling is my drink or some kind of happiness.

"Although," he says, finally drinking his coffee, "you and Isabelle are just as bad as each other, I think."

I laugh. "Yeah, I can't disagree with that."

Josh laughs too, sitting back in his chair. His posture is now open and content, making me in turn feel more relaxed. "So," he starts. "I haven't seen you around for a while. What have you been up to?"

I shrug. "This and that." Definitely not running away from you in Macy's and going to a gig where your old band played.

Josh smiles over the lid of his cup. "Yeah? What's 'this' and what's 'that'?"

"None of your business," I reply, unable to stop myself smiling too.

Josh shakes his head in mock disapproval. "If we're going to be friends now then we can't be keeping secrets."

I pause for a second, my cup halfway to my lips. "Friends? Really? Is that a good idea? Wouldn't acquaintances be better?"

Josh shrugs. "I don't see why we can't be friends. Yeah there's the obvious stuff like Paramore but... you're not in Paramore and..." He pauses, stares into the distance, deep in thought. But then he shakes his head, clearing the mist and goes on with a small smile, "I suppose we've got to start making amends sometime. I guess me and you might be a good place to start."

I take a sip of my hot chocolate then bite my lip to stop myself from smiling too hard. "Yeah, okay. Friends it is then."