Title: There's No Such Thing as a Hot Grandpa
Summary: Grandpa, an old man who is two generations older than you and turns up to family events smelling of tobacco and scotch. Doesn't really describe Edward does it? It will now. Follow Edward and his fifteen year old make their way through life as patterns of family history begin to repeat themselves.
Rated: M because well we're going to be talking about making babies here!
Pairings: EXB and RX? Everything will be clearer in the end.
Disclaimer: All recognisable characters are those created by Stephanie Meyer, but Dylan is all mine people!
Edward
I was smiling like a fool; I was going to be a Dad again.
Bella was going to have my child.
It was so unreal.
Plus we got cleared to take Lela home with us as soon as possible, so Bella and I arranged for it to happen in two days. She was coming over today to help design her room.
Our house was in a bit of chaos. Bella was running around trying to make sure all three kids were ready to go back to school next week while I tried to sort out my job so I could reschedule my time off for after our baby was born.
My Mom offered to take Danny and while Ness was happy Danny was being looked after she was pissed at me for un-expectantly going back to work.
No we hadn't told the kids just yet. We decided to wait until Bella was at least three months along so that we were sure no complications would arise. That and Ness was still hammering on about me abandoning her for my new family. Telling her about the baby would only launch another tantrum and really I couldn't have that sort of stress on Bella. It was unfair.
Another reason for the chaos?
Mike- I really wish I could punch him –Newton.
I hate that kid I really do, but the courts awarded him three visitations a week. They wouldn't take a bad word against him because it wasn't often that teenage boys stepped up to be fathers and they thought Mike was an upstanding citizen. I was waiting for it all to blow up in all honesty.
But until then we had to put up with Master Newton, gracing us with his presence. He looked so smug sometimes, whenever I saw him I felt like hitting him.
Plus I really felt sorry for Jacob, because of Ness' grounding he was trapped in the house with her. But when Mike came over he just got up and left. I could tell it made Ness upset but again she wasn't talking about any of this, just getting angry and then lashing out at Bella. I couldn't help her if she didn't talk to me so there wasn't much I could do. Every time I tried to she ignored me, seeing as she was still pissed at me for grounding her.
I was pulled out of my musings when the doorbell rang.
I got up and opened it to find Lela standing on the other side.
"Hey Edward" Lela said shyly as she stood in the doorway.
"Hey Lela come on in" I said opening the door wider.
"This house is incredible" She said as she walked in. "Who designed it all?"
"I did" I told her.
"You're an architect?" she asked curiously.
"Yeah me, my brother and my brother in law own CCW" I told her. "You're interested in architecture?" I asked her.
"Yeah, most little girls play with Barbies, I tried to figure out the dimensions of Barbie's dream house" She joked and I laughed.
"Your Mom just went to the store to get school supplies with the other two for when you all go back to school." I explained when I heard a cry from the baby monitor. "I'll be back in a second" I told her and she nodded "Make yourself comfortable" I added before jogging up the stairs to the nursery. Danny stopped crying the minute I walked into the room. "Hey Little Guy did you have a nice nap?" I asked him and he stretched his arms up to me. "Oh so you're awake now?" I asked picking him up. I carried him downstairs and into the kitchen.
"Is that your Grandson?" Lela asked. She was sitting on a stool in the kitchen.
"Yeah this is Danny" I said bringing him over so she could see him.
"Aw he's really cute" She said with a smile on her face.
"I have to say it comes from his maternal side" I told her and she laughed. "Danny this is Lela" I told him and he looked at her strangely like he does with all new people.
"How old is he now?" she asked.
"Just coming up to two months" I told her and she smiled down at him. "Do you want soda or anything?" I asked her.
"Yes please" She said.
While I was getting the soda out of the fridge the front door open.
"Daddy, guess what I got!" Dylan yelled coming into the house.
"Oh you better not have woken Danny up" Ness hissed at him and I could practically hear Bella gritting her teeth trying to keep herself from killing Ness. I only knew because it was something I often did myself these days.
"Don't talk to him like that" Bella simply said and Ness rolled her eyes "And Dylan knows Danny wakes up after one so he was good" She added.
"What did you get?" I asked Dylan ignoring the little saga of Renesmee versus anyone with a pulse and focusing on my son.
"A Transformers school bag and lunch box" He said proudly.
"Man I'm so jealous. And you didn't ask Mommy to get me one for when I go to work?" I asked him.
"We got you an Avengers one." He said and I nodded, Lela giggled at our interaction.
"Oh you're here" Bella said turning around and Lela waved. "This place gets like Grand Central sometimes, I thought you were Renesmee's friend Briona" She added giving Lela a hug.
"It's okay" Lela said.
"Hey I know you" Dylan said looking at Lela "You were in Mommy's office the day the scary lady came" He stated and Bella nodded.
"Yeah she was, Dylan this is your older sister Lela" Bella explained and Dylan's eyes widened.
"Stay right there" He yelled to I don't know I've given up figuring out Dylan aswell as his mother, before running up the stairs.
"Was that to me?" Lela asked Bella who shrugged.
"It could've been to anybody" Bella said.
"How long has he been up?" Ness asked me holding her arms out for Danny.
"A couple of minutes, what if I'm having Grandpa Time?" I asked her keeping the baby in my arms.
"Did you pass him out of your vagina?" she asked in return.
"No but I am the reason you came out of one at all" I told her and she rolled her eyes. "Don't cross me today." I told her.
Ness huffed before grabbing a soda out of the fridge. She walked right past Lela without saying a word.
"Don't take..." Bella began when Lela shook her head.
"Don't worry she doesn't strike me as someone in love with all of this." Lela said when Dylan came running back down the stairs.
"This is for you" He said handing Lela a picture he had drawn.
"Aw thank you" She said as he climbed up onto a stool and explained everything on the picture to her.
Bella walked over to me and leaned against my side.
"Anything happen today?" I asked her and she sighed.
"Later" was all she said.
"Correct me if I'm wrong but that doesn't sound good"
"Later Honey. I'm not dealing with it now." Bella repeated and I nodded as Danny began crying for a feed.
I brought him into Ness.
"Is Grandpa Time over?" she asked.
"You and me will be having serious words later" I told her lowly and she sighed. "Keep behaving like that Ness you'll find yourself grounded for longer" I warned before walking out the kitchen.
"So what colour do you want to go with for your room?" Bella asked.
"A purple colour I'm not really pink and girlie you know" Lela said and Bella nodded pulling out the paint charts she had gotten from my mother earlier on.
Bella looked over at me and smiled sadly. The fact that hers and Ness' relationship was deteriorating was growing thin on her and I didn't like putting this stress on her with the baby.
I needed to do something.
What though...
Well I wasn't quite sure of that yet.
I was only one man you know.
Bella
I waved as Lela got into her foster Mom's car. I had paid Jake to paint the room with Edward tomorrow so everything would be ready for when she moved in. I was so glad I would be able to get to know my daughter.
"Is it later yet?" Edward asked wrapping his arm around my waist. His hand rested on my stomach and his thumb gently stroked it and I smiled seeing how in love he was with our baby already. He was so protective over me aswell, it felt nice to feel some amount of affection for the baby from its father while I was pregnant. That was definitely something I hadn't felt before.
"It is" I said leading him to the swing on the porch.
"What happened?" he asked me wrapping his arm around my shoulders, one hand still on my belly.
"She's told me I needed to lay off the junk food if my thigh were going to get that swollen" I told him and Edward was standing up in an instant.
"Renesmee" He yelled walking into the house.
"Edward come on" I said but he shook his head.
"No way. I'm not having this crap" He said before walking to the bottom of the stairs "Renesmee Cullen you get your ass down here right now" He yelled and she came down the stairs, Jake holding the baby.
"Jake I think its best you go home" I told him.
"But I thought she wasn't grounded anymore" He said looking confused.
"She may not be standing anymore once her Dad is through with her." I told him and his eyes widened before handing me Danny and walking out of the house.
"What did you do that for it's not even ten yet" She said and Edward looked ready to kill her.
"Living room now, you'll be lucky if I ever let him back in the house" Edward hissed. "Baby could you bring Danny upstairs?" he asked me.
"Do you want me to stay up there?" I asked and he sighed, sometimes he liked to deal with Ness himself.
"Um no I think its better we do this together" He said and I nodded.
"Okay, I'll just put him in the bouncer in Dylan's room" I said. I walked up the stairs and grabbed the bouncer off the landing. "Do me a favour Bud?" I asked Dylan as I walked in.
"Okay" He said leaning over his colouring table.
"Keep an eye on Danny for me. We'll have the baby monitor downstairs if he gets too fussy" I told him.
"Is Nessie getting in trouble?" he asked.
"Yeah" I said nodding. "You're not though." I told him.
"Mommy you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world no matter what Nessie says" He told me and I smile ruffling his hair.
"You're not too bad looking yourself kiddo"
"I get it from my Mommy's side"
"You remember that." I said before switching on the other baby monitor and leaving the room. I walked down the stairs to find Edward staring Ness down as she sat on the couch in the living room.
"If you're going to yell at me will you just do it already" Ness said.
"Oh I want to yell at you, believe me Renesmee the volume I want to yell it could be heard on the opposite side of the country. But I won't because I know you probably won't listen." Edward said his jaw locked. "What you said to Bella was awful and so immature and childish. And you know what I'm not going to stand for it anymore"
"What you gonna do kick me out?" she asked.
"No" He said "But I'm moving you to the loft over the garage. You will stay there and your boyfriend can come and go as he pleases but you will be paying me rent."
"I'm sixteen" She stated.
"Yes I know I was there when you were born"
"You can't expect me to pay rent" She said and Edward laughed.
"I can, I'll supply you with basic groceries, you will eat dinner here every day but you will not be here to stress out my wife in the evenings." He said gesturing to me."
"See look your taking her side" Ness said pointing at me. "Why doesn't she and her two bastard kids live over the garage, I lived here before they did."
"You're so ungrateful" I muttered looking at the window.
"Excuse me?" Renesmee asked standing up. "He's changed since you two got married. All he ever does nowadays is think about you and Dylan and Lela, what about me and Danny?"
"I'm going to tell you this Renesmee I tried to walk away from your father for your good. But you came to me looking for help. You asked me to see you throughout your pregnancy, you asked me to be your Mom. Your being offered your own apartment for you and your baby and your complaining? Most girls in your situation get kicked out or locked in the basement, or you know are forced to give up their babies. I think your rather lucky" I told her. "Edward I'm sorry I can't do this with her" I said shaking my head and heading to exit the room when he caught my hand.
"One second Love" He said and I sighed "Renesmee apologise to Bella"
"Why what I said was true, are you retaining water now?" she asked.
"You're not exactly a bean pole Sweetheart, and it's not like you're not eating for two anymore." I said. I know I was being a bitch but when in Rome.
"Bitch" She muttered.
"Renesmee!" Edward warned and I shook my head.
"I'll take her apologies when she means it and its not forced." I said before walking out of the room.
Edward
I watched Bella walk out of the room before clenching my eyes shut.
What the hell was I going to do?
"I'm going to tell you something and I'm only going to say this once" I told Renesmee and she looked up at me expectantly. "I put my life on hold for you and when you got pregnant I thought game over I never get to be happy. But Bella is my wife and I love her more than you can even comprehend at your age. Just because your frustrated with yourself for getting knocked up and becoming a mother so young it does not give you the right to destroy my marriage. She told me the other week that she can't do this anymore, neither of us want it but unless you cop on I will end up getting a divorce."
"A divorce?" she asked me and I nodded.
"Or separated until you go to college. And sometimes Renesmee you make it so easy to agree with that" I told her "Because my life would be so much easier if I just kept you happy. But when do I get to be happy?" I asked her.
"That's not fair. You cannot blame everything on me." She began.
"Maybe it's not, but my wife thought it would be a better to ask me for a divorce then to tell me she's pregnant. And that's your fault" I told her. "Besides from you Bella and I don't have marital problems. And generally the ones we have are her sticking up for you, even though I don't have a notion on why she would do that, you're horrible to her." I said.
"She's pregnant?" Renesmee asked shocked.
"Yeah and right now I'm ridiculously happy. Lela is going to be adopted into this family and on the same day I'm adopting Dylan. You can do what you want Renesmee but you're not going to ruin this for me. This is not going to be another doll house."
"What does the doll house have to do with anything?"
"You don't need me to be your Dad anymore, your grown up, your independent and your smart Honey. I love you to pieces I really do but you've out grown me. It may be a little sooner than either of us anticipated but you have. But just because you don't need me doesn't mean Dylan or the new baby don't." I said and she nodded.
"I'm really sorry" She said before wiping her eye.
"I know" I said sitting down beside her and patting her shoulder. She rested her head against it and cried for a bit.
"Do you think she'll forgive me?" Ness asked looking towards the stairs worriedly.
"That's something you're going to have to talk about with Bella" I explained. "But lucky for you she's not one to hold a grudge."
"Okay" She answered nervously. "I'll call Grandma about getting the loft fixed up" She said.
"I'm not kicking you out" I told her. "I'm just trying to teach you how to be a good parent"
"I get it" She said looking down at her shoes.
I sat with her for awhile afterwards before heading up to Bella. She was sitting in the window seat in our room pretending to read her book. I could tell she wasn't really concentrating.
"So I told her" I said going in and sitting beside her.
"I sorta figured" Bella said resting her head against the window. "How'd she take it?"
"I think she's a little shocked in all honesty" I said taking Bella's hand in mine. "When are we going to tell everyone else?"
"I don't know. I want to wait just to make sure" Bella said.
"Why are you so worried about this?" I asked her.
"It's been seven years since I had a baby Edward my body is so not ready for this again. It's older and doesn't like change. The first three months are when things go wrong so can I have my three months."
"How far along do you think you are?"
"Just before the wedding, I thought I was throwing up due to stress with my Mom but obviously not" She said and I nodded.
"So give it another fortnight?" I asked.
"Yeah" Bella said before returning to her book.
I sat behind her looking out the window when I heard yelling.
"You're so stupid your just jealous of my Mommy" Dylan yelled and I looked at Bella.
"Here we go." I muttered and Bella sighed.
She sat up a bit before getting up; I followed her out of the room and followed the yelling.
"Oh come on Dylan..." Ness said but he shook his head.
"I'm not talking to you anymore Nessie because your mean. My Mommy is the prettiest lady in the whole wide world and your just stupid if you think she's fat. You just wish you were as pretty as my Mommy so there!" He yelled.
"Guys" I said walking in between the fight.
"Dad did you hear him" Ness said.
"Your ratting out a seven year old?" Bella asked her.
"You're making it really hard for me to like you Bella" Renesmee said.
"Because you're so nice" Dylan said.
"ENOUGH!" I yelled. I was going to kill all of them. But they would probably fight over who I liked the most by the order in which I planned to do it. "Family meeting right now. Sit your asses down" I said and the three of them walked to the table. "Dylan where's Danny?"
"Asleep in his room" He answered as he pulled his chair closer to Bella's.
"Okay then. I'm going to say this once" I told them all "I love you all but if you don't stop fighting I will kill you all and make it look like an accident."
"Daddy she's such a..." Dylan began when Bella put her hand up.
"If you cuss I'll take your toys off you" She and he thought for a second.
"She's such a cranky pants and she makes Mommy all sad"
"I know" I said.
"And he's just a big cry baby who kisses up to everybody" Ness said.
"He's seven and he's not crying" I told her and she sighed "Anything you want to add to this Love?" I asked her.
"No" She said.
"Dylan I've told Renesmee she's moving into the loft over the garage with Danny"
"Good" He said.
"But that means it will be you, me, Mommy and Lela." I told him.
"Good" He repeated.
"And the new baby" Bella said and I looked at her. She nodded letting me know she felt it was right we tell him now.
"What new baby?" he asked looking between Bella and me. "Did Mike Newton put another baby in Renesmee's belly? You really have to stop letting him do that Renesmee."
"Hey, hey, hey short stuff. It's not me it's your oh so pretty Mommy!" Ness yelled and Dylan stared at Bella.
"Remember how Danny was Ness' belly?" Bella asked him and he nodded. "Well I have a baby in my belly"
"You ate a baby?" he asked looking at his mother in shock.
"No" She said.
"Then how did it get there?"
"Dad put it in while your Mom was asleep" Ness offered up and I looked at her. She shrugged.
"And where did you get the baby from?" he asked me.
"A... Special... Daddy... Store... Yes a Special Daddy Store. But you only get to go there when you get older."
"Okay" Dylan said nodding before confusion spread his face "Then why did Mike do that to Nessie?" he asked.
"Because Mike's stupid" Bella answered.
"So you put a baby in Mommy's belly and it's going to come out where?" he asked.
We all looked to each other, we didn't know how answer that.
"Um..." I said and Ness looked up at the ceiling. "Bella you're a doctor you know these things" I said and she glared at me.
Dylan turned to her expectantly and she put on a serious face.
"Well you see..." Bella began looking awkward. "It's going to come out the special baby door" She said.
"Baby door?" he asked.
"Yes, baby door. Angela will give me the baby door just when the baby is about to come out and then it will come out that way" Bella said.
"Oh" He said his mouth forming an o shape.
"Well if this little happy family will excuse me" Ness said when I clamped my hand on her shoulder.
"Sit" I told her.
"Damn" She sighed.
"Now that we have the issue of the baby door sorted I'm going to tell you all something." I said and they all looked at me expectantly. "I found a grey hair this morning"
"Not my fault"
"What?"
"Huh?"
All three responses came my way in unison.
"Edward I don't see it" Bella said standing up and lifting up sections of my hair.
"Yeah 'cause I pulled it out, that's beside the point"
"You pulled it out, like six of them are going to grow in its place" Ness said.
"Guys" I yelled so they would all shut up. "What I am trying to say is that right now the atmosphere in this house is too stressful. It's not good for anybody especially not Bella and the baby so from now on there will be no more tantrums, no more snide remarks, no more bitching, no more saying things for a reaction"
"You're writing this down Ness?" Dylan asked and I shot him a look.
"None of it, it ends now. Now it's going to be hectic in the next couple of days, we'll be getting Lela moved in and getting the loft ready, you're all going back to school or in mine and Bella's case work so we need to grow up and get a grip okay?" I said and they all nodded.
"You really found a grey hair?" Ness asked after a moment of silence.
When I was younger and I had Ness my best wish was to have a normal family.
I was beginning to realise this may just be a normal family,
Now that's a scary thought.
Review please.
Love The Irish Cullen.