Katara clutched Nozomi tightly in her arms as she stood upon the deck of the Fire Nation ship. Zuko stood close behind her, so close that she could feel his chest rise and fall as he breathed. The gates of Azulon loomed before them, the proud statue cutting into the expanse of blue sky. "The Fire Nation," Katara whispered, her voice strained and her body tense.
Zuko reached forward and grasped one of her hands tightly in his own, trying to keep his own nervousness from revealing itself. "My home," he added, forcing the fear from his voice. He needed to be strong, if only for Katara's sake. If he crumbled… Zuko shook his head quickly to push the thoughts out of his mind. But still…
Being in the Fire Nation meant being closer to his sister. They had escaped once, but she knew everything about their plans. It would only be a matter of time until Azula found them, and when that happened… Zuko swallowed hard against the images of pain and torture that swam up to meet his mind's eye. It was not himself that he was afraid for, but the others.
"You're tense," Katara observed, and Zuko was promptly pulled from his thoughts.
"It's been a while," he said with a slight shrug, careful to keep his tone neutral. Zuko's eyes widened when Katara's fingers laced through his and her hand squeezed his gently.
"It'll be okay," she whispered, and then leaned back against his chest. "I'm Kaya, you're Lee, this is our daughter, Nozomi, and we're creating a new life for ourselves in your homeland." She paused and took a deep breath. "We'll be fine."
Zuko sighed softly, and then planted a kiss against the girl's forehead. "I know we will," he murmured, and then wrapped his arms tighter around Katara. "I know."
They stood like that for a moment, the Fire Nation wind rushing about them as they huddled against each other. Katara then sighed roughly and stepped out of Zuko's embrace. "I've been thinking a lot lately," she murmured, and Zuko frowned deeply.
"About?" he questioned, and Katara took a few steps forwards so that her hips brushed against the rail of the ship. Zuko watched her closely as he waited for her response, noting how natural she looked with a Fire Nation child in her arms. Some part of him wished that it were his child that she was holding, but he quickly pushed the thought from his mind.
"Us." The reply soft reply was carried to him on the breeze, and Zuko felt his heart skip a beat. They had always been careful to avoid the subject… ever since the night after their first kiss, that is. Their feelings for each other were known but went unspoken in order to keep tensions between them at a minimum. So why was she bringing it up now? Had he said something in his delirium? Zuko felt his blood run cold and he cleared his throat.
"Us?" he replied, careful to keep his voice neutral.
"We…I…" Katara stopped and shook her head slightly, unable to put the words together. She took a deep breath, and then let it out slowly. "You know how I feel about you, right?" she asked softly after a moment, her eyes trained on the ocean below them.
"How we both feel," Zuko replied softly, moving to step up beside her.
Katara was silent for a moment, and she instinctively pulled Nozomi closer to herself. "We're going to be living as husband and wife…" Katara began, but then she trailed off. "But we have to reach an agreement."
Zuko stilled and he glanced over Katara, taking in the slight trembling of her chin and the determination in her blue eyes. He felt a sickening sense of dread come over him, and he had the urge to grab her in his arms and kiss her senseless…to do anything to stop the flow of words that he was sure would come.
"We can't be anything more than friends," Katara said softly, and Zuko's throat went dry. Katara continued to stare out at the ocean, unable to face him as she spoke the words that damned their blossoming romance. "No more touching or kissing or…" she trailed off, closing her eyes briefly.
When Zuko gripped her shoulders and forced her to face him, Katara was glad that Nozomi was planted securely in her arms. The baby was her shield, at least for the moment. "Why?" Zuko demanded, his grip on her shoulders tightening.
Finally, Katara met Zuko's eyes and her heart ached at the hurt she saw reflected in them. "Zuko," Katara whispered, dropping their charade in the face of the seriousness of the moment. "There's no place for me in your life. We both know that. If we win this war, you will be Fire Lord. I think we can both agree on the fact that I wouldn't make the best Fire Lady," she continued with a mirthless chuckle. "And if we lose, well… one or both of us will be dead."
"Don't say that," Zuko exclaimed earnestly, thinking of his sister briefly.
"But it's true."
"Listen to me. Even if we lose this war, I will protect you. Neither of us is going to die!" Zuko exclaimed with conviction. Even if I have to sell my soul to Azula, I'll keep you safe.
"Zuko," Katara whispered softly as she shook her head. "You're not making this any easier for me."
"Good!" Zuko exclaimed before bending over and capturing Katara's lips in his possessively. The kiss was awkward, as Katara held Nozomi clutched tightly against her chest and the baby served as a barrier between them. But Zuko didn't care. He poured all of his passion and anger and hurt into the kiss, and by the way Katara trembled, he knew just how desperately she wanted to respond.
But she didn't. She stood solid, her eyes squeezed closed as tears streamed down copper cheeks. When Zuko finally pulled away, Katara covered her mouth with a hand and rested her head on top of Nozomi's as she wept.
Something inside Zuko broke as he watched Katara cry, and knowing that he was the cause of it made it all the harder to bear. "Hey…I…" he began, and reached out to touch her cheek. Katara flinched at the contact, so Zuko quickly pulled his hand away. "I'm sorry," he whispered, and the girl shook her head, her face still hidden from him.
"Please," she said hoarsely through her tears. "Promise me that you'll never do that again." She sniffled, and then wiped her tears away with the heel of her hand. When she finally looked up and met his gaze, her eyes were pleading. "Please," She whispered hoarsely.
"I can't," Zuko replied, his throat closing. I love you too much. That thought went unspoken, but it burned a hole in Zuko's already wounded heart. When he saw Katara shake her head in pain and disappointment, he offered, "But I promise that I'll try."
Katara searched his eyes, took a shuddering breath, and then nodded. "Thank you," she murmured and then let out a deep sigh. "If our situation were different… In another lifetime…maybe we…" Katara whispered as she met Zuko's gaze, her heart feeling as though it had been torn in two.
Zuko stared at her, and suddenly Katara's form was gone, replaced by a girl with black hair and eyes the shade of emeralds. The world about him fell away, and suddenly he was on a battlefield, the coppery taste of blood in his mouth and the tears of a woman falling onto his face
"If our situation were different… In another lifetime…maybe we could be together…" he whispered, reaching up to cup the girl's face. However, he was too weak, and his hand fell limply to his side.
The woman sniffled, and he could tell how much effort it was taking for her to be strong for his sake. "Next time, there won't be a war. We'll meet in a time of peace," she whispered, her voice choked and strained.
He nodded his head, the action costing him dearly. "We'll be together again. I promise," he whispered.
The image fell away, and he was Zuko once more. The girl with tears in her eyes was not one of Earth crying over her dying lover, but one of Water weeping for the love that could never be. In a sudden flash of understanding, Zuko realized that this lifetime was not the first that he and Katara had met. There had been a different time, a different war, but the same love. And even then, they had been unable to be together.
"No, we wouldn't," Zuko replied softly, the knowledge filling him with a profound sense of loss.
-----------------
The tea shop was smaller than Katara had imagined it would be, although it had been kept up immaculately. Come to think of it, the entire capital city was spotless and its white marble gleamed in the sunlight. Iroh stood before the red door, his beard hanging down over his ample belly and his face smoothed into a smile.
"Remember the story, children," Iroh instructed the group placidly, and all except for Toph nodded in response. The former scoffed, and kicked at the earth roughly.
Katara gripped Suki's hand tightly, Nozomi balanced on one hip. "It's going to be fine," she assured her friend, who squeezed her hand in response. Katara glanced over to where Zuko stood beside her, his hands at his sides and his jaw locked. She cast a small smile in his direction, and he returned it half-heartedly.
Iroh glanced over the group one more time before knocking the door three times in rapid succession. Within several moments' time, the door had opened a crack and an elderly man peeked out. "I'm sorry, but we're closed for today…" the man murmured, but paused when he saw Iroh reach into his sleeve.
"We are the new employees of the Honorable Ye Zhi," Iroh said with a bow as he handed the man a letter. The man glanced it over briefly, and then pushed the door open fully.
"Please, enter," He replied, a smile curving on his small features. The elderly man stepped inside, and the gang quickly filed inside.
"I am Ye Zhi," the man said, and Katara glanced over at him in surprise. He was a tiny little man with a white mustache, long silvery hair tied at the base of his neck, and eyes so small and slanted that Katara could barely see past the folds of flesh. "I am grateful to have gained so many employees," he added, and Katara noted that his lips had yet to move out of a seemingly permanent smile.
"Not as grateful as we are to be here," Iroh replied with another bow, which seemed to make the little man smile even more.
Just then, a woman entered the room, her silvery hair tucked into a high chignon. "This is my wife, Hana," Ye Zhi informed the little group, and the woman gave a slight, almost condescending bow. She was taller than her husband, and her small mouth was stern. Absently, Katara wondered how such a pair had ever come to be, but she quickly pushed the thought away.
"I am Mushi," Iroh introduced himself, and then straightened and glanced over the gang once. "This is my nephew, Lee, his wife, Kaya, and their daughter, Nozomi," Iroh introduced his most immediate family members first.
Katara bowed slightly when she saw Hana's shrewd little eyes pass over her. The woman lifted a brow as she glanced between Zuko and Katara, and then looked pointedly down at the baby. "Ah…I see," she said, her eyes gleaming. The next time she looked at Katara, she did so with distaste. Katara felt her cheeks warm at the implication, and Zuko quickly rested a hand on her shoulder defensively.
"Sheng," Iroh said, gesturing towards Sokka, "Is my niece-in-law's brother, this is his wife, Suki, and Suki's younger siblings Aki and Tetsu," Iroh finished, and frowned slightly when he saw Hana's eyes flick over the foreigners with thinly veiled resentment.
"Well, we are in sore need of the help," the elderly woman then said as she glanced over the assembled group once more. "I suppose that beggars can't be choosers," she then added with a smooth smile, and Katara felt a surge of dislike overwhelm her. "Ume will show you to your rooms," the woman finished before turning and gracefully leaving the room.
"This way, if you please," a young girl said, capturing the group's attention. Iroh nodded and followed the girl out of the room and up a flight of wooden stairs. Katara was quick to notice that everyone in the house thus far had been wearing socks, and she felt self conscious as she made her way up the stairs in a pair of Fire Nation sandals.
"This will be your room, Master Mushi," Ume said shyly as she opened a thin wooden door. "Your nephew and his family will be staying here as well," she added when Iroh looked within. Katara let out a sigh of relief that she and Zuko would be supervised, and she quickly slipped within. Nozomi had grown heavy in her arms, and it was all that Katara could do to hold the tot.
"There is a washroom attached," Katara heard Ume continue, and she peeked inside. A small, tin washtub sat in one corner while the toilet and sink were crammed against the wall. It was small, surely, but it was serviceable. Iroh and Zuko entered the room then, and the rest of the gang continued.
"You look tired, my dear," Iroh observed when Katara re-entered the bedroom. Katara smiled weakly in response as she placed a squirming Nozomi on the ground. The child had discovered that she could crawl sometime after Katara had taken custody of the girl, and the baby was now running Katara ragged with her mischievous nature. True to form, the tot immediately pushed herself to her hands and knees and crawled quickly in the direction of a small furnace.
"No, Nimi!" Katara exclaimed, picking up the child and then placing her down again. The little girl paid Katara no heed, and immediately set out in that direction again. "No!" Katara exclaimed, grabbing the little girl by the waist and then hefting her back up into her arms.
The child babbled incoherently in anger and shook her tiny fists in the air. Iroh chuckled at the baby's antics, and Katara rolled her eyes. "You would find it funny," she muttered under hear breath, and Iroh chuckled again.
"Hand her to me," Iroh instructed, and Katara willingly passed him her burden. "Now why don't you go take a nice, hot bath?" Iroh suggested, and Katara crinkled her nose.
"In that tub?" she muttered, and then realized how childish she sounded. "Are you sure you'll be alright watching Nimi?" she then amended, and Iroh grinned.
"Do you realize how long I've waited to have a grandchild?" he asked, and gently bounced the baby in his arms, making her shriek with delight. "The little tadpole and I will get along just fine."
Katara smiled slightly at the pair before nodding and entering the washroom. "I'll only be a few minutes."
"Take all the time that you need," Iroh replied, waving the girl off. Once the door was shut and Iroh heard the water running, he turned to his nephew. "Would you care to tell me what happened between the two of you?" Iroh then asked as he busied himself making a nest of blankets for the little girl on the floor.
Zuko, jerked out of his self imposed stupor, glanced over at his uncle sharply. "That's none of your business," he muttered under his breath, throwing himself on one of the two beds in the small room.
"Nephew…" Iroh replied as he gently planted the squirming baby inside the nest and handed her one of his Pai Sho chips to play with. The little girl grabbed it between her chubby hands and then quickly brought it to her mouth.
"Fine. We reached an understanding, okay?" Zuko snapped, staring up at the ceiling.
"What kind of agreement?" Iroh prodded, and Zuko growled in the back of his throat. The noise made little Nozomi turn towards him, her almond eyes widening as she continued sucking on the game piece.
"One that she thought was best for us," Zuko muttered, and Iroh nodded slowly.
"Smart girl," he murmured and Zuko trained a glare on the aging man. "You do realize that she's right, don't you?" Iroh said, and Zuko glowered. Iroh took the boy's silence as a confirmation, and turned his attention back to the baby.
"I'm going to go check on the others. Watch her," Iroh said after a time of making faces at the little girl and waggling his fingers in the air above her head. Nozomi frowned at the sudden halt of affection, and she slapped the Pai Sho chip she held on the floor repeatedly in order to demonstrate her irritation.
"Uncle!" Zuko protested, and Iroh fixed a severe eye on him.
"She's your daughter, remember?" The elderly man reminded his nephew, and Zuko reluctantly swung his legs over the bed as he continued to glare at his uncle.
"Fine," he muttered, pushing himself to his feet and walking over to the little girl. His uncle smiled in approval and then looked down towards the baby. "You be good for your daddy," Iroh instructed, and Zuko snorted under his breath. With that, Iroh tossed a last smile in Zuko's direction and exited the room. Left alone with Nozomi, Zuko glanced down at the little girl, attempting to hide his trepidation.
"What am I supposed to do with you?" he wondered aloud, and the baby cocked her head and stared at him as though he were the strangest creature in the world. A dribble of drool slowly made its way over her bottom lip and Zuko grimaced as he instinctively bent and wiped it off with his sleeve. "We don't want your mama to see you all messy, do we?" he muttered under his breath as he did so.
That comment seemed to break the spell the little girl was under, and suddenly she gave Zuko a toothless smile as she reached up her arms. Zuko frowned; puzzled at the way she seemed to stretch herself up towards him and babble incoherently while she continued to grin in her own strange little way.
"Oh," Zuko said as the realization hit him. Awkwardly, he reached down and lifted the little girl into his arms, wincing when she tugged on a tuft of black hair. "Hey!" he exclaimed, batting her chubby little hands away. The little girl frowned, her lips turning downwards inside mounds of chubby cheeks. She then squawked in protest, and Zuko searched for something else to divert her attention.
Finding nothing, he heaved out a sigh and carried Nozomi over to the bed with him. There, he spread his legs and sat her down between them to ensure that she wouldn't fall off the bed. He could only imagine what Katara would do to him then. He could just picture her horrified face as she would scoop the crying baby into her arms, and then the anger burning in her eyes when she would glare at him.
"Your Mama is a very scary lady," Zuko informed the baby, who stared up at him with those pretty almond shaped eyes of hers. Then, she grabbed onto his bent legs and attempted to pull herself up. Zuko smiled slightly at her antics despite himself, and then placed his index fingers in her hands. Given a new hold, Nozomi struggled upwards, but couldn't make it off of her bottom. Zuko laughed slightly at her discomfiture, and gently lifted her to her feet by her armpits.
"That better?" he asked, and his grin widened when she bounced herself in his hands. "Maybe I'll make a good dad after all," he observed with a wry smile, and the baby frowned suddenly.
She let out a stream of nonsense and then… "Da?"
Zuko froze as he stared at the little girl. "Wha…"
"Da!" Nozomi exclaimed, looking quite proud of herself. "Da, da, da, da, da!"
Zuko stared at the baby in shock and then laughed. "Oh, wait until Katara hears this!" he exclaimed, and then chucked the little girl under the chin. "That's a girl! Saying my name before your Mama's. Good job!" he commended the child, and her toothless little grin grew even wider.
"Da!" she exclaimed again, her bouncing growing more rambunctious in the wake of Zuko's approval.
Zuko laughed again and then scooped the little girl into his arms before jumping off the bed and twirling the baby around once. Nozomi squealed with delight, and Zuko's grin widened. "You like that?" he asked, and the baby continued to babble happily, occasionally throwing her new word into the mix. In response, Zuko spun the child around again.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Katara's enraged voice stopped Zuko in his tracks, and he glanced down at Nozomi.
"Oops. Mama caught us," he said in a stage whisper while bouncing the little girl. The child laughed delightedly, but Katara looked less than amused.
"You could have dropped her, and then what would have happened? Do you have any idea how dangerous that was? Have you ever even been around children?" she demanded, and Zuko rolled his eyes. Katara stalked over to him and snatched the baby out of his arms before quickly fussing over the little girl.
"Are you okay, Nimi?" Katara asked, the concern in her voice both annoying and amusing Zuko.
"Da!" the little girl exclaimed and Katara went completely still.
"What did you say, honey?" Katara asked softly, her gaze flickering over to Zuko's.
"Da!" The little girl exclaimed again, her toothless grin displaying her pride in her accomplishment.
Katara looked over at Zuko and scowled at the smug grin that had spread across his features. "Look at you, all full of yourself," Katara muttered, and Zuko chuckled.
Parenting had seemed to dissolve the stress that had been between them all morning, and Zuko felt his heart warm when Katara attempted to teach Nozomi how to say 'Mama' is earnest. When the child stubbornly insisted on saying 'Da' every time, Zuko drew amusement out of Katara's frustration.
Finally giving up, Katara heaved out a sigh and glanced up at Zuko with a slight smile on her features. "Apparently, she's your daughter," she muttered good naturedly, and Zuko decided to take pity on the girl.
"Kids always say the Dad's name first," Zuko replied with a nonchalant shrug. "But we all know that they love their mothers more," he said, and Katara tossed him a grateful smile.
Maybe there's hope for us yet, Zuko thought to himself, and his smile grew wider than it had been in some time.
--------------------
Quickly! Get in, get out! Don't let anybody see me! Ty Lee repeated the mantra to herself over and over again as she crept across the roof of the tea shop. If the owners were to see her, they would surely tell General Iroh, and then Zuko's cover would be busted. Almost there!
Ty Lee carefully slid down the roof tiles and grabbed onto the edge, careful to keep her movements as silent as humanly possible. The window was just below her. Carefully, Ty Lee wrapped her legs around one of the spokes of the roof before flipping upside down. Luckily, the window had been propped open already, so she could push it all the way with little noise.
With the grace only an acrobat could possess, Ty Lee gripped the windowsill with her fingertips and slowly removed her legs from the spokes. Through careful movements, she brought her legs down to a ledge below the windowsill before she allowed herself to straighten out.
The girl sighed with relief once it was all over, and then peered into the room. Luckily, a candle had been left burning on one of the nightstands so that Ty Lee could make out which bed was General Iroh's and which was Zuko's.
Iroh was sleeping like a baby, curled onto his side and the blankets bunched around his legs. Ty Lee had to stifle a giggle at the sight, and then she glanced over at Zuko's bed. Except…Zuko wasn't alone. His body was wrapped around the Water Tribe girl's, and she had a baby sleeping soundly against her. Ty Lee's eyes widened. What by Agni…
Ty Lee quickly shook her head, and then reached into the pouch she had strapped to her hip. She wasn't as good a shot as Mai, but she had to try. Quickly, Ty Lee pulled a stone out of the pouch and carefully aimed it at Zuko's shoulder. She uttered a quick prayer that the missile would reach its target, and then tossed it at the boy.
Sure enough, the stone hit Zuko square in the shoulder and the boy jerked awake with a muffled curse. He glanced up quickly, and his eyes connected with Ty Lee's in the darkness. Ty Lee watched as a shudder seemed to course through his body, and his eyes immediately focused on the girl he had been sleeping with and the child in her arms.
He's afraid for them, Ty Lee noted with some shock, but the boy's concern warmed her big heart considerably. She watched as Zuko quickly extracted himself from the girl and went to stand up. However, the girl woke up as well and murmured something softly. Ty Lee watched with wonder as Zuko bent down and whispered something in the girl's ear before tenderly brushing his hand over her forehead. Once the girl had settled back down and fallen asleep once more, Zuko made his way to the window.
"What are you here for?" he hissed, and Ty Lee found that it took all of her strength to summon her trademark smile.
"Well, hello to you too," she replied cheerily, and Zuko scowled.
"What are you doing here?" Zuko repeated, and Ty Lee rolled her eyes.
"Azula sent me," she replied, and she could feel the temperature in the air around her heat up several degrees with Zuko's anger. "She apologizes for her miscalculations," Ty Lee whispered, and Zuko glowered.
"Her miscalculations almost cost Katara her life!" Zuko hissed, pointing to the girl that was fast asleep on his bed. Ty Lee remembered clearly that it was Zuko who had been hit by Azula's lightening, but the vehemence in the boy's voice let her know that he truly cared about the Water Tribe girl more than himself.
Ty Lee glanced down at the bandages that still adorned her hands and her smile dropped away. "It nearly cost all of us our lives," she reminded the boy, and Zuko paused, as though re-considering his anger.
"She wants me under her thumb again, doesn't she?" he muttered, and Ty Lee nodded slightly. "I suppose I don't have a choice," Zuko added bitterly, and Ty Lee smiled softly.
"None of us really do," she replied. She loved Azula like a sister, but this… this was what she hated. Zuko had found himself a family… a life and Azula was stripping it away from him. Ty Lee knew the ultimatum- either Zuko's newfound family would be murdered ruthlessly, or he would lose them through his betrayal. He had chosen the lesser of the two evils, but that didn't make the choice any easier to bear.
And she? Did she really want to be an instrument in destroying this boy's life? Could she live with herself? Ty Lee thought briefly of all those she had killed in Azula's name and felt a heaviness come over her. She had already ruined so many others. What was one more in the grand scheme of things?
When darkness consumes you, smile. Smile so that they will never know the hurt you feel inside. Her mother's words came back to her, and so Ty Lee grinned with gusto that she didn't feel. "You know Azula," she added, making herself sound cheery although her heart was breaking within her for this poor boy before her.
"I know her," Zuko replied bitterly. "Tell her that I stand with her," he forced out, and Ty Lee could see by the anger flashing through his eyes just how much it upset him to say. "And remind her of our bargain. If even one of them gets hurt…" Zuko continued, and then trailed off.
Ty Lee followed his eyes to the girl that was sleeping, blissfully unaware of the intrigues and betrayals of the Fire Nation family. She nodded firmly. "I'll remind her," she agreed, and Zuko nodded briefly before stepping away from the window without another word.
Ty Lee watched with large gray eyes as Zuko climbed back into bed and buried his head against the Water Tribe girl's neck in anguish. The burden on Ty Lee's heart felt heavier than ever as she closed the window and crept into the night.
So she smiled.
Oh my goodness! I am so sorry it took me this long to update. Its just that I've had so much drama going on in my life lately and school has gotten insanely difficult... not to mention that the charity I work for had been consuming a lot of my time as well. But, I'm on a week long vacation, so hopefully I should get another chapter or two up before I get back to the stress of every day life.
Well... tell me what you think! Your reviews are what encourage me to keep this thing going, so... PLEASE review! Thanks!